Aishuu Offers:
Chosei
~ A Hikaru no Go fanfiction ~
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: Hotta Yumi and Obata Ken own Hikaru No Go. This is
fanfiction, with all that implies.

NOTE: The end of this fic contains some Go terms which may be
unfamiliar to the casual reader.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


After spending so many years around avid Go players, Ichikawa Harumi
knew enough about the game to know that she would never amount to
anything more than an mediocre amateur, but that didn't mean she
couldn't enjoy being around the ones who had true talent.

Like them.

It was an open secret that they would come in once a week, at least
to the regulars. No one made a big deal of their comings and goings,
fearing that a crowd would gather and frighten them off. The two-up
and-coming stars of the Go world would attract attention if people
knew about their weekly bouts, and the last thing any of the regulars
wanted was to lose their presence. Sneaking peeks at their games was
a pleasure they all indulged in.

Not that sneaking was required. The two were so intent on each other
that a volcano could open beneath their feet and they would still sit
at the table, slapping the pieces down with the rhythmic pa-ching
pa-ching! that filled the Go salon. Every now and then, they would
look up from the board, commenting on a move or staring at the other
intently, trying to gauge a reaction.

It was when they were quiet for too long that she started to worry,
for it inevitably signaled that one of their arguments was about to
begin. She knew her clients didn't mind them, for usually the barbs
they exchanged would reveal stunning knowledge from master players,
but she always worried anyway, for she saw them as people, instead of
just professionals. Sometimes she wondered how others could forget
that the two of them were only sixteen.

She liked them, but she didn't understand their relationship. What
was their fascination? It couldn't simply be Go, for there were other
players out there, other players whose skills would challenge them.
Sometimes she would pause in her duties and simply stare at the two
of them, staring. They were such a mismatched pair.

Touya Akira: dark and silent, able to keep still for hours on end.
Heir to the former Meijin, he had been destined from birth to be the
one who the Go world looked upon as its hope. Brilliant and
introverted, most people would call him shy and socially inept around
those his own age, though he was polite, calm and unshakable...
except around him.

Shindou Hikaru: golden and loud, always on the move. A child prodigy
who walked in from nowhere to become a star. Distractible and
flighty, he was charming, but never serious about anything, except
Go, especially when they were playing. He had defeated Touya once,
and then spent years chasing him as Touya watched in fascination,
trying to decrypt the puzzle of his prodigious skills.

She took whatever chances she could steal away from the counter to
spend with them, either to glance upon their games, or try to study
their complex relationship. It was such a moment now, when she came
by with two drinks � green tea for Touya, soda for Shindou. She liked
to eavesdrop just as much as the older men, especially with her
fondness for Touya. The two of them were concentrating intensely on
the goban, but she still worried for their health. Sometimes they
would spend the entire day without eating, which wasn�t healthy for
growing teenage boys.

Touya placed one of the slate stones down after a moment�s
consideration, and then turned to smile at her. She felt a warm
feeling spread through her, and had to resist the urge to ruffle his
hair. He was sixteen now, and probably wouldn�t look too kindly on
being treated like he was a child. Still, she had known him for years
and it was hard to keep from acting as though he was still the same
child she had met then, the one who had shyly clung to Touya Koyo�s
hand, looking around his father�s Go salon in fascination. She had
watched him grow up into a serious and intense young man, and felt
pride in him.

She studied the board for a second, trying to figure out who was
winning. Often times the games between the two teens came down to a
half moki, unless one of them tried something unconventional. Usually
it would be Shindou, with his unique style of old and new, but
occasionally Touya would do something completely surprising and
either win or lose greatly for it. They tried new tactics and methods
against each other, and she knew that the next time they clashed
professionally, it would definitely be the match of the year.

This time it seemed that black had more territory and white had
played a poor hand about three turns back, but she wondered. She knew
enough about Shindou�s style to realize that he tended to think quite
far ahead. She squinted, trying to figure out what he was thinking,
but even planning ahead, it still looked like he was losing.

Touya�s smile turned into one of amusement. �We�re about even,� he
told her. �Shindou�s going to cut my territory in about eight moves,
unless I think of something really creative.� He turned his eyes
towards the board, nibbling his lip, losing himself in thought as he
mapped out the game in his head.

Shindou played his next hand before taking a drink of his orange
soda. �Thanks, Ichikawa-san!� His eyes fell to the board, looking at
it with a concentration no less intense than Touya�s. �Touya will
regain whatever he lost five moves later.� He looked up, and a slight
grin played on his face. �After that��

Touya nodded a bit in return. �The variables get a little bit too
hard to calculate for sure.� He took a sip of tea, leaning back.
�Still, I think I have this game by about one and a half moki.�

Shindou sighed and nodded. �I made a mistake in being too eager to
make that capture,� he said, tapping an intersection right above the
ten gen with the fan he had begun to carry after becoming a pro.

Touya pursed his lips thoughtfully, leaning forward. His slender hand
nudged Shindou�s aside with the casualness of long familiarity, and
she blush a bit at the thoughts that came to her mind. Touya hated to
be touched, but the way he acted towards Shindou always made her
wonder how close they really were. Neither of them had girlfriends,
and Touya was certainly closer to Shindou than he was to anyone else
his own age� It was another thought she had to firmly suppress. If
they were THAT way, she didn�t want to know. Ignorance was bliss.

�Hmmm� maybe. Against anyone else but me, that probably would have
worked. But I know how you think too well,� Touya said seriously,
though a small grin tugged at his lips. �You�re always a bit too
eager to get the better of me, and I took advantage of that.�

Shindou huffed a bit, raking a hand through his bleached bangs.
�Sometimes, Touya, you drive me crazy.�

�Just sometimes? You drive me crazy almost every time I see you,�
Touya retorted, but she knew him well enough to know he was only
teasing his rival.

�Mou! You�re nasty,� Shindou said. His eyes lost some of their
intensity, and he leaned back and stretched. �Sometimes I wonder if
being serious is a requirement for the top dans� if it is, I�m never
going to make it.�

Touya sat back as well, cradling the earthenware teacup. His eyes
were thoughtful as he tilted his head. �Do you really think
Kurata-meijin is that serious?� he asked.

�No, but you�re about to topple him. He hasn�t even been able to
defend his title once.� The other boy toyed with a few of the stones
he hadn�t played, obviously distracted. �Sometimes I wonder��

She knew that she should leave them and let them have this
conversation alone, but her curiosity got the better of her. She
couldn�t help but eavesdrop. She pulled a rag out and began to polish
one of the gobans nearby, but still keeping in earshot.

�What do you wonder, Shindou?� Touya asked softly.

�If this is my world. If I belong here or if I merely let a fluke of
fate get the better of me.� Shindou�s usually cheerful and lively
voice sounded drained.

Touya was silent, seemingly at a loss for words. She winced inside,
knowing that he tended to have difficulties saying the right thing
when the moment called for it.  She realized he was trying to think
of how to reassure his friend, but was failing due to his awkwardness
with others. When she looked over, though, he started to move,
clearing his stones before looking at Shindou. �Let�s start a new
game,� Touya said.

Shindou blinked a bit, and she flinched mentally. Part of her wanted
to whap Touya and tell him that this was not the way to go about
offering comfort, but something in Touya�s sea-green eyes kept her
lingering in the background, holding her breath. There was a pressure
hanging in the air, an imminent feeling of importance that she hadn�t
felt since seeing Touya defeated for the first time by a 12-year-old
Hikaru.

�Nigiri,� Touya ordered, watching closely.

Shindou pulled out a handful of white stones, to which Touya placed
his answer. After a moment, they passed the go ke crossed to each
other, and Touya considered Shindou with a glance before they
finished exchanging formalities.

She watched as Shindou placed the first stone, and then Touya replied
without hesitation. Fuseki, she knew, likely wouldn�t go on that long
for these two players, but would establish the rest of the game. The
initial spreading of stones and claiming of territory� neither of
them liked to linger on it overly long when playing the other,
realizing that other strategies were usually the best way to go about
taking the other down.

After about fifteen hands, she noticed Shindou�s eyebrow twitch a bit
in surprise. Touya�s face remained intent, but Shindou seemed a bit
shaken. Another five hands passed for the both of them before Shindou
finally pushed his chair back, staring at Touya. His face was pale,
and she came over to them, wondering what had happened to shaken his
confidence.

Looking at the game, she didn�t see anything wrong with either side.
It was still too early in the game to make any predictions, even for
the two young masters who were playing. �Akira-san?� she asked. It
was odd addressing him with a more formal honorific, but he really
wasn�t a child anymore. �What happened?�

Touya didn�t look at her, but instead met Shindou�s eyes. �Are you
surprised?� he asked.

�How?� he asked.

�You can�t hide your personality in Go. I�ve been playing you for
years, chasing you just as you chased me. It doesn�t matter if it�s
the you I know now or your shadow I caught� but I caught something,
didn�t I?�

Shindou seemed to shake himself out of his shock. �You� I don�t
believe you��

�If you thought on it, you could probably do the same to me,� Touya
said, placing his elbows on the edge of the table so he could lean
forward to examine the board.

�Do what?� she finally interrupted. She couldn�t take their cryptic
talk anymore. All she saw was a well-played game of go that had
barely advanced into the middle stage before Shindou had been shaken.

Instead of Touya, it was Shindou who answered. �He imitated me. He
took my style, and played a game the way I would have��

She blinked. She knew that players developed their own style after a
while, and that Shindou was getting quite famous for his
unconventional methods, but for Touya to be able to duplicate it? She
turned to stare at Touya in astonishment. �You� if you can copy him,
why don�t you always win?�

Touya�s gaze was still fastened on Hikaru as he answered. �I know his
mind well enough to imitate him, but the imitation is never as good
as the real thing. If we were to bring this game into the later
stages, I�d fall apart. I know him, Ichikawa-san, but my mind can
only get so twisted. Trying to think like Shindou Hikaru for an
extended period of time�� 

�Whaddya mean by that!?� Shindou exclaimed, jumping to his feet. 

Touya drained the last dregs of his tea, handing his cup over to her.
�The reason you�re so good is that no one can follow you for an
extended length of time. You�re unique in the Go world,� Touya said
softly.

Shindou sank back into his seat, his face pale. �I�� He shivered a
bit. �Touya? If no one can follow me, how come you spent so much time
chasing me?�

Touya�s eye lit with inner fire. �How come you chase me?� he
retaliated. �Is it just because you want to beat me?�

�I�� Shindou said, looking flustered, then racing his hands through
his hair, mussing it again. It only took a few seconds for it to fall
back into place, and she envied that. It took her fifteen minutes
every morning to blow-dry her hair. Shindou�s next words made her
forget her distraction. His grass green eyes seemed to get lighter,
and he stared at Touya with the force he only brought to bear when
playing Go. �I chased you to get you to look at me.�

Touya nodded. �That�s what I wanted you to do, acknowledge me when I
first met you, before you totally screwed up that game at Kaiou.� He
toyed with a spare stone, looking down at the board. �You still need
to explain me about that,� he said.

Shindou looked at the board, then at Touya. �If I tell you, won�t you
stop trying to chase me? Don�t you chase me because you want those
answers?�

Touya laughed, and she smiled, still lingering like a shadow. Touya
had grown so much if he was able to comfort Shindou in this subtle
fashion. �Shindou, if the only thing I liked about you was your
mystery, I wouldn�t be around you every Sunday. I chase you for the
same reason you chase me,� Touya said. He looked at the board,
fingering the clamshell stone he had placed last. �We seek the same
thing, and together we�ll find it. You keep coming after me, and I�ll
keep bringing you up to the next level� eventually we�ll find that
perfect move, since there will be no where else to go.�

She pulled back from them, knowing she had stayed for too long. The
sheer strength of their commitment made her feel small and childish,
to pry into their affairs. The two of them didn�t notice her sudden
absence, and she took the chance to take a deep breath.

She heard the sound of the stones against the wood of the board as
they began to nigiri for another game, and she leaned against the
counter, trying to sort out her thoughts. She had wanted to know
about them, like everyone else, but as she turned to watch them each
play their first hand, she realized why she would never be an
excellent player. She didn�t have their passion. She didn�t have the
determination to push herself to the next step. 

To her, Go wasn�t life, but to Shindou and Touya, it defined their
very existence. They would forever be chasing the other, striving to
rise to that final pinnacle and something inside of her made Ichikawa
Harumi believe that someday, the two would discover it, together.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Notes: 

Much thanks to Hissori of the Hikaru_no_Go mailing list for the time
taken to answer the questions about Ichikawa Harumi.

Feedback is as good as chocolate, as long as it is constructive.


Go terms:

Chosei: Eternal life; a rare position involving repetitive capture.

Fuseki: The laying of stones, opening stage of Go.

Goban: The board Go is played on.

Go ke: The wooden dishes where the stones are drawn from.

Moki: point

Nigiri: Drawing stones to see who is black.

Ten gen: center of the goban



=====
If I could change anything
Then I would change everything
These bitter days shall remain

Fanfiction: http://www.midnightrevolution.org/quicksilver
Mailing List: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/quicksilver

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