Unless you are a) the author in question or b) have an astoundingly good
memory, most of these will probably not mean muich of anything. Oh well.
I'm going to try to go through a significant amount of the crap I've got
sitting around unread, because my FFML inbox is currently around 55Mb, and
I need to trim it on down. If your story wasn't mentioned, either I didn't
have anything to say, it didn't fall into the range of things I have enough
interest in to finish read9ing, it's a sequel or later part of something I
don't have the preceding bits to, or I didn't feel like it. Detailed
commentary is unlikely, but I will share the reactions I had while reading,
which in my own experience is almost as helpful, since it lets me judge how
well I acheived the emotional effect I was trying for.
Also, if the fic was well picked apart at the time, I'll probably skip it here.
7/5/02 -
ShortYes@aol.com's _Return_ prologue
A bit on the prentious side for the first paragraph or so, but settles down
promtly. Ranma as God of Change isn't really new, but being Destiny as well
whle the original is in the gulag is. I still say my favorite Ranma/AMS
idea is that his female side is a demoness, and he's his own doublet. The
prologue isn't really enoguh to judge the merits of a fusion of this type
anyway, as it's really just introducing the characters.
7/6/02 -
Elsa Bibat's _Pets_, a vignette in the _Dances Set To The Music Of Time_
sequence
Hee! I love it! Huge Sailor Moon-based crossovers are usually something I
try to avoid, but for this, I'll give it a try.
Bob the Byakhee! Heehee!
It does lend a bit more credence to Crystal Tokyo having a a darker side,
if the Senshi have THAT kind of servitor running around...
Xelan Metallium's _Enough Already_
It's just a spamfic, but amusing... and oddly enough I imagined just such a
metacontinuity aware Ranma in casting negotiations to take a Dark General
type role in something that's waiting on the intervening five or six
chapters of my current project to be written. Hey, at least it's something
different for him, right?
CheezeA@clemson.edu / Aleh@aol.com's _Reflection_, prologue one, two, and ch1
Formatting was wonky, but you noticed that yourself and reposted later. The
setup ios different, but reminiscent of Quantum Destinies, and to a lesser
extent, Careful Destiny. However, I find myself liking your alternate
worlds a bit more than QD, just because they're less nitty-gritty. Not that
there's anything partuicularly wrong with gritty, but it's not my
preference.
I should also note that it amuses me to have Crystal Tokyo blip out of
existence, at least in the form that Pluto shapes it and as seen in canon
Sailor Moon. It strikes me as being entirely too Big Brotherish and
repressive in the name of happiness... and I have no doubt that even
without that known target endoint, the Senshi will muddle along and do the
best they can, and somehow end up with a result that is at worst only
different in details, but far more dynamic. I don't need to go on, Crystal
Tokyo as opressive regime is a common enough theme anyway.
I like the fact that someone's realized that Ranma, for all that he might
be put upon and generally willing to help people just because they're in
trouble, is still not in the realm of nigh-saintly goodness to deserve an
AMS style wish. Kasumi, maybe, the rest of the Ranma cast, no way.
Without more of this to read, it's hard to say for sure, but take care you
don't overdo Ranma's skill and knowlege - sure he's been kicking around a
while, but he's starting over from scratch physically, and a little
overconfidence now and then never hurtts - well, as long as it's your
charactrer, and not yourself.
Adam Brown's untitled Choose Your Own Adventure lemon-lime thingy - Okay,
Nabiki got drunk for once, but what;s Ranma's excuse? It seems like there
should be a lot more stammering and blushing, at the least... Being an
unrepentant hentai fan, however, I'll forgive you. Any more of this get
done?
7/8/02 -
_Reflection_ continues. The 'it's a wonder Akane hadn't become a rampant
lesbian' line is repeated almost word for word from last time - my
suggestion would be to find a different wording for it in Ch1, where it's
narration, rather than here, where it's Ranko's thoguhts.
Heh, there's that good ol' Ranma smirk. Nice to know some things don't
change. Like... the old Saotome overconfidence. Yeah, sure, he's been
around, but the 'wise old sensei' act really is an act, at least part of
the time. I'm glad you did this, as I mentioned last time.
7/9/02 -
SKJAM!'s _Could Be Worse_
Okay, I'm going to say up front that I positively detest NGE, and wouldn't
bother with fics based on it at all if I hadn't read _Neon Exodus
Evangelion_ (The one by the Eyrie crew, male Mary Sue and all) and
_Children of an Elder God_ before actually seeing the series, so I knew
that some people had managed to redeem Anno-baka's little headtrip and make
it tolerable.
That said, this looks like something that has the potential to throw off
the timeline enough not to suck by the end, so long as you aren't too sold
on the original's supposed deep philosophical meaning. Replacing the
Spineless Wonder with someone who has some measure of a will of their own
is always a good start, and I hope it can keep up that momentum... besides,
I like anyone who tells Gendo off from the very beginning, and then asks
how to activate the Blazing Sword.
Even better would be if he bugs them about it enoguh that Ritsuko and Maya
manage to come up with a way to make a prog knife about three to five times
as long, and *give* him a Blazing Sword later on.
Incidentally, I feel I should note that I've taken to using "SKJAM!" in
place of "Hey COOL!" Just so's you know... it's not particularly due to
your writing, though that does tend to be good, but because it sounds cool.
Also, aside from the Ren and Log as Sis Stimpyvelion spamfic I posted, I do
have one other NGE fic I might someday overcome my aversion enough to write
- an SI fails (as detsailed a bit more down by PLORT!) and gives the
Children (and possibly some others) superpowers... but not the superpowers
you'd expect. Rei is easily as strong and tough out of an Eva as in it, but
hasn't got the leverage to fight opponents that size, and hence is almost
completely without physical fear, Shinji is a speedster like The Dash or
Relativity Woman, and could quite easily outrun any of the threats if his
will were to fail, Asuka is a telepath/telempath, but hates her powers and
so suppresses all empathy and sensitivity until events force her to face
them... Needless to say, anything I wrote would be almost completely
different from about the midpoint of the series on. A couple of things that
specifically come to mind as a differing use of the Children's powers would
be fitting Unit 01 with a treadmill generator, so Shinji could get rid of
the extension cord, and Asuka turning the Angel that attacked her mind
inside out and jumping up and down on it, metaphorically speaking, and
possibly learning just what the hell the whole thing is about anyway in the
process. Rei... well, she'd still have next to no sense of self
preservation, because next to nothing couod actually harm her... Probably
would have to leave her vulnerable to heat, or at least being submerged in
boiling liquid, in order to carry parts of the script that would need not
to be changed, but damaged, healing lungs would also explain why she speaks
rarely and quietly when she does, and coughing up blood would be just as
effective as splitting open recent wounds, I'd think. Later, when she's had
more time to practice Stuipid AT Field Tricks in Eva, pehaps she would be
able to use it to brace herself for a short bout of angeltossing... yeah,
sure, defeat the giant monster with judoi! It makles sense to me!
---=---
AAAAAGH! Swarms of evil ladybugs are coming out of the woodwork to attack
me! Gettemoff gettemoff gettemOFF!!
---=---
7/15/02
Rann Aridorn's _Ancestors_ pt1
... She's sleeping with a wolf? You're one of those scary fur fans, right?
Not that I can talk, I'm always incharacter online, as a 'furry' even,
though I designed the character long before encountering anything related
to 'furry fandom.' Heck, I found out about the phenomenon when someone
asked me if I was a Cerebus type aardvark-man and I asked them who Cerberus
was... but the scary part is that I've started using my online nickname IRL
whjen there are multipole Bens in the group. Um. I think I'll shut up noew
and keep my pathetomatic loserositude to myself.
Hmm. She wears black leather and rides him into battle, wherupon he makes
risque jokes. You are forgiven :?)
Fun - someone kidnapping Ranma as well for once. I'm sure that'll save time
later.
Hitting Kuno in the head? Like that's going to accomplish anything... I
think you should have mad eit a little harder on the fantasy-world group,
thouhg, as the Kuno grounds are supposedly pretty well boobytrapped, aren't
they? At least mention Mr. Green Turtle, he's my favorite Kuno. After all,
he's the only one that doesn't rant all the damn time.
Okay, done... interesting, but it feels kind of abrupt how they decide to
just go, Ranma and Akane espescially... for all that they keep getting in
the way, I really don't think either of them would be so willing to leave
their families behind, even if they could still write back and forth.
Thermopyle's _Gensou Rakuen_
For once, I'm actually trying to avoid spoilers until I've finished
watching a series, so I don't read Noir fanfic, watch Noir AMVs, etc. I do,
however, recognise Thermopyle's name as someone who's written a noteable
amount of good fanfic, so I encourage you to keep on with it, as when I do
get around to it I'm confident in it's being at least above average, based
on your track record.
Why yes, I can stroke egos shamelessly, too. It shouldn't come as a suprise.
7/16/02
Not a fic per se, but the whole _Switch Partners_ thread regarding ideas
for a Ranma/Belldandy matchup, and why there should or should not be a
Kasumi/Keiichi matchup to be used as contrast, was very interesting. I'd
like seeing something that came out of this, and I am in favor the K1/KT as
well.
Sam Vilsmeir's _Awkward Consequences part 8_ (and the revision the next day)
I haven't been commenting on these, because while entertaining, I havent
found anything to say about them, but I would have to say that if anyone
would know what it was like to be a living weapon, crafted by others to
deal in destruction, then Ranma would be the one. Also, Ryoko of Tenchi
Muyo, Zelgadis of Slayers, any of the Androids from DBZ, whatzername the
enemy cyborg from NukuNuku, and Marvel's Wonder Man... Heh, if I only had a
story for it, that wouldn't make for a bad crossover cast with a title
referencing living engines of destruction, so long as a way was found to
balance out power levels somewhat - though not neccesarily all that much,
Hotasru can take out planets in one shot too, and Wondy has gone one-on-one
with various dark god types.
Huh. Apparently this Ranma knows Nuku Nuku. Coincidence? I think not.
(insert yet another long digression, on why There Is No Coincidence, lifted
straight from the pages of Superguy)
Eternal Lost Lurker's _PLORT!_ Ch1
Hmm. I tend to like seeing how SIs try to justify their transportation into
another world... my personal favorite is using the collateral damate
between a pair of near-gods fighting in the mortal planes, and the SI-to-be
gets to watch reality melting around them. A varient on this, is that they
try to insert, but mess up, and all thier k3wl p0wurz get distributed to
the regular cast peicemeal (as detailed above after the anti-Eva ranting),
while the SI character either ends up a statistic, or somewhere completely
unplanned.
blink-blink... Trunks-san? No, no, it can't be... (shivering in fear)
So... it's a Pikmin fanfic. That's cool. I wonder what their power level
would read on a scouter?
Gotta watch those aroundpasses. They're murder, and ten to one you get
groped... better you don't know by what.
Cool, it's that thing from the Ninja Turtles cartoon! They did kind of beat
up on it hard for four testudiniod nija, thouhg, didn't they? ... Dude!
It's even got 8Track audio? Talk about your bleeding edge tech.
.. Is this original, mainly? I mean, I didn't think it would be from the
disclaimer, but I can't recognise that setting at all. Ah, okay, main
disclaimer is at the bottom, characters are grabs, but the setting is a
composite at best. Checkie. ^_^ Fun! I dson't have any real complaints -
c'mon, this is The Lurk! - and the only advice I can offer is to make sure
you're having fun wr8iting the story, because with this kind of fic, that's
what matters, and it WILL show if you're not.
7/17/02
Joseph Krause's _Uncommon Heroes_
An interesting beginning, at least, and in a fantasy mileu Kuno would
actually fit right in. Of course, that's mainly because he lives in a
fantasy world anyway... Of the rest of them, Nabiki would probably have the
more visible trouble fitting in, while Kasumi would miss the little
conveniences of modern living... and probably modern health care, as well,
thoguh between borrow8ing boooks on traditional medicine from Dr. Tofu and
Ke Lon's knowledge, they should be able to manage well enough for healing.
I must strongly reccomend against thinking of them in terms of character
classes, but if you must most would probably be some variation on the theme
of acrobat, theif, or fighter, with a bit of mage thrown in for good
measure... but statting them out, even just for yourself, is almost certain
to stifle the writing process, and if it doesn't the sound of rolling dice
will always be in the background when someone tries to do something,
regardless. That would be a shame, because as I said, this really does look
like an interesting beginning... I suggest adding a local clan of
elf-nijas, or something along those lines, that's unhappy with another
group who use advanced martial arts openly showing up, also. Why? Because
everything goes better with ninjas. Maybe they could meet a
Kanatsu-analogue, too... 'Natsu is fun.
On the subject of the boat hitting a reef - why break the keel off at al?
Just have it hit hard enough to spring seams, so they have to land
tootsweet, and be moving fast enough to ride up and start to roll, shifting
the ballast in the bilge and neccessetating cutting loose the mast and
rigging to bring the benter of gravity lower, so the yacht doesn't capsize
entirely, and stays afloat long enoguh to be closer to shore, close enough
that Akane and Kuno can be carried safely in, and perhaps some supplies
saved. The yacht itself might even be salvageable at a later date, as long
as no big storms had come up in the meantime, as well.
Of couse, by now it's proably all a moot point, but what the hell.
7/18/02
_Reflection_ ch3
The title of this chapter scares me, for all that _Twisted Path_ was the
first epic-length fanfic I read through to the end. I'm convinced that
experience can be at least partially blamed for why my net persona is such
an incredible ubermunchkin.
Ranma is showing both more of his skills, and more of the lkimitations
placed on him by the new situation, and so far it continues to work really
well. The only thing I could wish for is more volume, and that will come
with the fullness of time.
7/22/02
_Ancestors_ ch2
"I've landed in a magical happy world... I HATE MAGICAL HAPPY WORLDS!" -
Garfield, from the Garfield and Freinds cartoon
Oh no... The girls are ... SHOPPING. The horror... the horror...
Ah, I see, he's a werewolf. That's slgihtly less freaky, at least. Big help
Kodachi was... the sad thing is, if she'd just fixated on someone who
wasn't in the middle of a love polygon and was willing ot give her some
emotional support, she might actually have a chance at turning out
reasonably functional, if still eccentric. As long as I could convince her
that chemical assistance was not required, I wouldn't mind a girlfriend
with that level of devotion, for sure.
Sooooo... do elves wear hats with ear-holes?
Accepting for the moment how quickly the kids agreed to come to this second
world, I'lll be really dissapointed if they don't have some second thgouhts
and homesickness by the second night, at least for Akane ond Kodachi,
who've never been that far away for very long. Ranma and espescially Ryoga
should be pretty much immune, though Rnma has always had his father along
before, and Ukyo spent a lot of time chasing after Ranma the past ten
years. Shampoo... could go either way, really. She did go all the way to
Japan on her own the first tiume, but Ke Lon came along and has been there
ever since. I imagine Mousse will be going berko pretty quick on the far
end with her gone, too, as will Soun and possibly Nodoka, if you took them
from late enough that she's been reunited with Ranma as her son. For that
matter, if it's that far along, Konatsu is likely to be quietly frantic in
short order as well. If you ascribe to the theory that Ryoga actually
ki-teleports as he gets lost, he might well wander back to Nerima and have
some or all of the above latch onto him in his wanderings, since hje always
seems to find Ranma sooner or later.
Also... I could fairly easily see the gang causing enough trouble within a
month or two to get the local authorities angry enough to banish them all
back to First Earth, and Teritha and company with them for bringing the
pains over in the first place.
Snrrrrk... Kodachi advocating mental help for the others... she's right
though, there's not a single member of the cast who's more than marginally
functional as a normal human being.
Thryth's _Laid_
Despite the title, there's nothing more than a little (clothed) hugging, in
this installment at least, and what an interesting setup it is! I just hope
that it doesn't fdall prey to the Ayeka-is-a-bondage-queen sterotype... and
personally, I think I'd rather see an attempt to get Ayeka comfy dancing
with Minagi, then try subbing Ryoko later, rather than hooking up Ayeka and
Ranma. Kiyone/Minagi/Ranma, maybe... Heh, if Ranma's as xeno as Naboiki was
implying, she might know about him, though she'd be iunlikely to recognise
him with dyed hair, due to the Goofy Disguise principle (Any disguise, no
matter how lame, will never be penetrated until a climactic moment.)
Did I mention being a hentai fan? I think so. Mmmm, yuriluvluv.
Next day, nextr chapter... man, you people are _fast_. Drat, it looks like
you ARE going for Ayeka as dom... I still hope not, thouhg. Akane as a dom
fits alll too well, I must admit, and magically transfering Kodachi's
obsession to her is at least plausible, as is her willingness to take a
nonhuman form.
I repeat... Mmmmm, yuriluvluv. But... did Akane waste the creamy filling,
or did you just cut from before she licks her fingers to after they finish
entirely?
Dang.. I'd wanted to get entirely through July tonight, but I need to get
ready for my classes this evening. Oh well, I knocked out a good 3Mb
anyway. Unless I get a bunch of complaints about this, you can expect these
from me now and then for the next few days at least, until I get tired of
it.
- ClassicDrogn
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