Sketches of Tenchi 12: A Plague of Angels
A Tenchi Muyo! OAV/MnE/GXP fanfic
by HKMiller
23 March 2002
Featuring characters created by Hiroki Hayashi and Masaki
Kajishima, also copyright AiC and Pioneer; also prominently
featuring characters created by Haruka Takachiho.
Minor characters are from or inspired by other sources.
- - - - - - - - - -
At first it was the "same old, same old", ya know? Not
that Yuri
'n I'd had much in the way of missions in that part of
the galaxy,
but otherwise the story seemed very familiar. Mysterious
creature destroying everything and creating havok, yawn.
So Gooley gave us the planet's coordinates and we headed
out,
figuring we could pick up anything else we needed to know by
watching the news while in flight. So we get within
range, and
the news starts covering the failures of other teams
who've gone
in to try to stop the destruction. Yuri and I look at
each other,
puzzled, but she figures it out. The planet where all
this is
going on is part of the Jurai Empire, and every amateur
team of
"Soldiers of Love and Justice" in that part of the
Empire was
apparently headed for Epsilonsis IV. Real bozo system
they've
got there.
Yuri and I watched this one team, caught live in action...
- - - - - - - - - -
In the distance, the enormous, roughly humanoid figure
stopped in
its rampage. Behind it, a trail of devastation led back
through
the city as far as the eye could see. Silvery
skyscrapers lay
broken and mangled; high-speed vehicles issued from a broken
tunnel and crashed into a growing heap. Overhead, a
floating
cloudpark sparked as its lifter started to fail; it
tilted and
started to fall from the sky.
The purple, long-armed monster tilted its head slightly,
as if
puzzled, at the three figures which confronted it,
standing in the
left foreground as the newscam caught it.
Three large mechas, red, green, and blue, stood poised
to fight.
An amplified voice, high-pitched, caroled out over the
battlefield.
"Foul creature! We, the Magic Knights, will stop you! I am
Rayearth!" The voice apparently came from the red mech.
The newsguy's voice-over came simultaneously with a floating
hypertag: "Lady Hikaru of House Shidou, 2nd degree
hereditary
military nobility, fiancee of Prince Masaki Youshou Jurai."
"I am Windam!" added the green machine.
"Lady Fuu of House Hououji, 3rd degree hereditary commercial
nobility, also affianced to Prince Youshou," went the blurb.
"And I am Selece," finished the occupant of the blue
machine, who,
we were promptly informed, was "Lady Umi of House
Ryuuzaki, 3rd
degree hereditary financial nobility, affianced to Prince
Youshou."
In obviously well-practiced unison, the three called
out, "In the
cause of Love and Justice, we will defeat you!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Well, they didn't; the monster proceeded to plow through all
three, apparently impervious to anything they threw at
it. And,
in the meantime, most of the city got trashed.
"Hey, Yuri, looks like we've already been there, doesn't
it?" I
called.
"Really, Kei. This is just perfect for us; how can the
situation
possibly get any worse?"
As we later found out, the three so-called "Magic
Knights", upon
their defeat, had retreated to some backwoods planet
they'd been
hanging out on, and recruited some friends to help them out.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi woke to a scream.
"AHHH! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!?"
Groggily, he identified the voice as Kiyone's. He sat
up and
looked around blearily. Hmm... Alielle was back again,
he noted,
judging by the head of hair evidently belonging to the arms
wrapped around the sleeping Aeka. Best he get out of
earshot
before Aeka woke up and discovered this.
Nodding decisively, Tenchi stealthily crept down the
length of the
bed and over its foot, then smoothed his pajamas before
leaving
his room.
He glanced into Mihoshi's and Kiyone's room. Kiyone was
staring
at herself in the mirror, horrorstruck. Her hair had
been cut
quite short. It now bore a part straight down the
middle and was
brushed straight over to each side, falling just short
of covering
her ears.
"But I like it, Kiyone," Mihoshi said thoughtfully.
"So help me, Mihoshi, if you did this to my hair..."
Kiyone spat
out, clenching a fist.
"Did you just wake up like that, Kiyone?" Tenchi asked.
"Tenchi!" Kiyone's eyes widened. "Don't look!"
"But it looks nice on you, Kiyone," said Mihoshi.
"Doesn't it,
Tenchi?"
Tenchi did a rapid cost/benefits calculation, then
agreed with
Mihoshi.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi descended the stairs to the living room, still
conversing
with Kiyone and Mihoshi about Kiyone's hair. He paused
as he
noticed somebody new sitting on the sofa in the living room.
"Oh, Tenchi!" shouted Sasami gleefully. "Grandma, this
is Tenchi,
our fiance! Tenchi, this is Aeka's and my grandmother,
Kamiki
Seto Jurai."
Tenchi bowed appropriately, and finished his descent of the
stairs, studying Seto. He saw little resemblance to Aeka or
Sasami, although the relationship to Misaki was obvious.
Seto
looked like a more mature version of Misaki, but with a
slight
greenish tinge to her hair color. Instead of the innocent
mischief which Sasami's and Misaki's smiles sometimes
displayed,
Seto's smile seemed downright Machiavellian.
"Ah. That explains it," Kiyone muttered in a low voice
so that
only Tenchi could hear.
"Oh!" Mihoshi put her hand to her mouth in wonder,
staring at
Seto. "You're the one they call..."
Kiyone quickly slammed one hand over Mihoshi's mouth, then
continued for her, "...the Very Nice Princess of Jurai."
Sasami snickered.
- - - - - - - - - -
Over breakfast, things grew hot again.
"WHAT?!" shouted Kiyone indignantly. "You ADMIT IT?!"
"Of course I cut your hair, dear," explained Seto,
putting one arm
around Kiyone and one around Sasami. "Now you look much
like
Sasami's old nanny. I think it'll make Sasami feel more
comfortable in this alien environment."
"And is that all, grandmother?" asked Aeka suspiciously.
"Well, I was wondering about the possibility of
convincing this
poor dear to change her name..."
"CHANGE MY NAME?!" screeched Kiyone.
"'Kiyone' is just so...," commented Seto, waggling her hand.
"How about we just rearrange the letters? How about
Noyike?"
Kiyone trembled, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth.
"No, that isn't quite right... maybe Noike? Hmmm...
yes, now
that seems to fit you. Sasami, don't you think she
looks like
a 'Noike' now?"
Sasami just smiled sheepishly and shrugged in reply.
"Unfortunately I can't stay to convince you, I'm afraid.
I must
be on my way very shortly. But do think about it, won't
you,
my dear?" Seto said to Kiyone with a smile.
"Umm, Kiyone, is your face supposed to turn red like that?"
wondered Mihoshi.
"Grrr."
- - - - - - - - - -
After breakfast, the household had just walked outside
to see
Lady Seto off and enjoy the nice weather when a green bubble
appeared on the lawn, then blinked out. Hikaru, Fuu,
and Umi
stood in its place, wearing some sort of battle armor, burnt
and battered around its edges. All three promptly
collapsed.
Shortly, the three were revived, and sitting on the veranda,
sipping Sasami's tea.
"We were bored," Hikaru explained, "just sitting around
here with
our fiance, Prince Youshou..."
"...who keeps trying to hide us whenever he has visitors
to the
shrine," Umi muttered darkly. "And he always acts
embarrassed
that we exist, and he keeps making 'secret' interstellar
calls to
beg someone named 'Airi' for help..."
"...so we decided to go looking for adventure," finished
Fuu.
Sasami clapped her hands in delight. "Oh, right! You
guys are
Soldiers for Love and Justice, right? I always thought
that would
be so cool to be one!"
"Sasami! That's for nobles, not for royalty! The
populace would
not appreciate it if you were hurt in a brawl!"
Kiyone snorted. "How your system ever produces justice
I'll never
know. Justice is a job for professionals, not amateurs."
Aeka turned to stare frostily at Kiyone. "I'll have you
know that
the polls give much higher popularity ratings to the average
Juraian Licensed Soldier of Justice than to the average GP
officer!"
Kiyone, looking blank, muttered, "...and what the polls say
matters because?"
Hikaru took up the story. "So, anyway, we were cruising
towards
the Far Periphery..."
"...that is spinward, out, and south from this solar
system..."
offered Fuu by way of explanation, with a glance at Tenchi.
"...when we heard about problems on one of Jurai's newer
colonies." continued Umi. "Naturally, we took action."
A holographic image of their pre-encounter speeches speeches
and poses, appeared in the air before the group. At its
conclusion, Kiyone shook her head. "This is supposed to
be police
work?"
"Wow!" rhapsodized Mihoshi, enthralled. "I wish we
could do that!
It looks neat!"
"Anyway, we attacked it. But we couldn't do any real
damage to
the creature," said Hikaru sadly.
"It had a force field completely impervious to all our
attacks.
And its arms extended to grasp our mecha before we could
react,"
added Umi glumly.
"It destroyed our poor machines! We just barely managed
to beam
back to our ship in time." Fuu mourned.
"That creature needs to be stopped," insisted Hikaru.
"But it's
going to take a lot of force to do it."
"Hmmm..." Washuu set to work typing. Over to one side,
a flat
panel holographic display appeared, turned to JNN.
Additional
displays, appearing out of nowhere, supplemented it.
One display in particular caught the attention of
Hikaru, Fuu, and
Umi, who looked appalled. "Those hags! They're going
in where we
failed!"
"Who?" asked Sasami eagerly. "Anybody I've heard of?"
"Momoko, Yuri, and Hinagiku. Our arch-rivals, the Love
Angels."
"Wow; they must be new. I've never heard of them," said
Sasami
eagerly. "Are they cool? Do they have neat speeches
and poses?"
"Nobody's called the GP in yet," noted Kiyone, who'd
been looking
at a Galaxy Police feed on a different screen.
Edward, who was typing on her own laptop, chimed in,
chanting,
with a big grin, "Rivals with a rep so bad, who could
make my
pals so mad?" Then, in a more normal voice, she added,
turning
to face Mihoshi and Kiyone, "The Galaxy Welfare
Association is
coming instead."
"Not them..." Mihoshi blanched and started trembling,
chewing on
her fingernails.
"Yessiree! The _famous ace troubleshooters_," announced
Ed in a
low, slightly stilted, overly-dramatic voice, "codename:
Lovely
Angels."
Kiyone started turning red with anger. "Those two
IDIOTS! How
the hell did they get permission to enter Jurai space?"
Washuu looked up from her typing, caught a glimpse of a
screen
showing the humanoid's attack, and froze. "Th- that..."
"Do you know something about it, Washuu-sama?" asked Aeka.
Washuu came out of her momentary freeze. "That's
-CHAN!" she
shouted, glaring at Aeka. "But, yes, I do. I created
that, and
twelve more like it, over fifteen thousand years ago.
But how
did they escape? I buried them on an uninhabited planet
far from
the nearest outposts of civilization!"
"Jurai colonized Epsilonsis IV about four thousand years
ago,"
said Hikaru slowly.
"Four thousand fifty-seven," clarified Edward, still typing.
"Epsilonsis IV? Was COLONIZED? What idiot did that? I
built
that planet to be a trash heap for my most dangerous
experiments!"
Washuu grabbed two fistfuls of her hair and looked as
though she
were about to tear them out.
Edward looked up from further typing, smirking. "The then
Minister of Imperial Colonization approved it,
overriding the
unanimous opinion of his advisory council. He retired
shortly
afterwards, joining the board of the megacorp to which
he had
granted colonization rights."
"Typical Juraian business ethics, then," said Ryouko with
amusement. She ignored Aeka's return glare.
"But we'll bring him to justice!" caroled Hikaru, Fuu,
and Umi
in unison, raising clenched fists in the air to cross at the
wrists.
"I don't THINK so," chanted Edward merrily. "The
gentleman in
question is Hikaru's great-grandfather, Fuu's
great-great, and
Umi's great-great-great-great-great."
The three's shoulders drooped.
"Anyway, as I said, there are thirteen of those things
running
around. They all have the same forcefield, but
different shapes
and abilities. I called them 'Angels'. Well, we'll
have to go
and stop it ourselves, I think. Tenchi might be the
only one who
can."
"As usual." Ryouko plucked Ryou-ou-ki off the top of
Sasami's
head and hurled her skyward. In short order the entire
group was
en route.
- - - - - - - - - -
Yuri 'n I were both surprised by how easy it had been to
enter
Juraian space. We'd been denied entry in the past (with
some
rather unflattering comments). But this time, approval
came very
quickly, apparently expedited by someone named 'Kamiki Seto
Jurai'. Yuri looked her up, and found that she, like
us, had
somehow acquired an uncomplimentary sobriquet: 'Demon
Princess'.
No doubt she sympathized with the difficulties Yuri and I
sometimes run into because of that horrible name people keep
applying to us.
So Yuri 'n I get to this planet, Epsilonsis IV, in the
middle of
nowhere and report to the planetary governor. Lucky us;
we get
there at exactly the same time as another crazy bunch:
three
girls wearing, believe it or not, floor-length white
dresses,
gloves, and veils, holding bouquets of flowers. And get
this:
they _demanded_ first shot at the monster. Well, Yuri 'n I
weren't exactly gonna argue, know what I mean? But we
couldn't
get the planetary governor's attention at first.
"Oh no. Oh dear. What shall I do? What CAN I do?"
This bald,
short guy, middle-aged, just kept pacing back and forth
in his
office, nervously rubbing his hands together.
"Err... how about letting us go fight the monster?"
"No, no, it's not about that; we've just realized: some
of the
citizens who've been killed by the monsters don't have
recent
backups of themselves or their homes or possessions on file!
We're not sure if we've lost them, or if the citizens
just didn't
do their backups. Either way, we can't restore their
present
selves! Some of the backups are centuries old; if we
restore from
those, the citizens will be centuries out of date! What
will we
do? What CAN we do?"
The guy just keeps pacing, rubbing his hands together.
"Some of
them don't even have insurance for bodily reconstitution!"
Yuri and I glance at each other, perplexed. "So what? They
didn't do their backups, they pay the penalty."
The three in the white wedding gowns just glared at us. "SO
WHAT?!" the leader says indignantly. "Just think about how
they're going to vote in the polls! The whole planetary
government might be toppled! And WE certainly don't
come out
looking good."
The second bride, also named Yuri, added worriedly, "The
only way
any team of Soldiers comes out of this affair looking
like winners
is to produce the lost backups from somewhere."
I just stared, open-mouthed. Yuri (my Yuri, not the one
wearing
the gown) said, taking a step forward, "Can we just
worry about
stopping the monster?"
"I'm not surprised you two don't realize the importance
of good
public relations, given the popularity figures you two
get!" The
third 'bride', Hinagiku, pointed an angry finger right
at Yuri
(mine). Yuri stepped back, into me. Our bare hands met
and the
world faded.
- - - - - - - - - -
The usual cloudy background appeared. A huge cube
appeared in the sky, to be cut in half by a bare-chested,
muscular hero who came out of nowhere, swinging a sword
of pure light. His teeth glinted in the sunshine as he
smiled. Other scenes followed in quick succession,
the same,
incredibly handsome figure slicing another dozen quickly-
glimpsed shapes in two.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Mine," I heard Yuri whisper, even as my own lips shaped
the same
word.
We came back to ourselves only to see that the so-called
'Love
Angels' had taken advantage of our momentary precog
trance to head
for the monster first.
- - - - - - - - - -
Elsewhere, we later learned, we ourselves were the topic of
discussion.
"They're from a rival galaxy-wide agency, Tenchi," explained
Kiyone. "The Galaxy Police is specifically chartered for
fighting interplanetary crime and space piracy, and we're
armed and trained for that purpose. There are many other,
similar galaxy-wide organizations established by the
Galactic
Union: the Galaxy Library Institute, for instance, and
the group
these two idiots belong to: the GWA. They're supposed
to be
more general-purpose trouble-shooters, for stopping disease
epidemics or long-lasting financial depressions, for
instance."
"So why are these two coming to stop a monster?" Tenchi
scratched his head, puzzled.
"Kei and Yuri happen to have a portfolio which largely
overlaps
the GP's: they're trouble-shooters nominally specializing
in crime."
"But things seem to happen around them a lot," Mihoshi added
solemnly, nodding wisely.
Everyone else present paused to give her a long look.
"Mihoshi means that the Pair has a galaxy-wide
reputation for
destruction," Kiyone finished.
Nearby, Aeka and Sasami finished questioning Ed. "And
ALL of
the nearby Soldier teams are related to this corrupt and
unworthy
scoundrel?" Aeka asked. "This, what was his name again,
this
Oshoku Jou?"
"Ed checked the twenty closest," the urchin chortled as
she spun a
slow circle in mid-air. "All have at least one member
descended
from him."
"But that means that they can't bring him to justice,"
Sasami
noted, glancing at Aeka.
"Indeed not, Sasami," Aeka confirmed. "That would
display a lack
of breeding and manners which would doom their team's
poll ratings
for decades. We must find another solution for bringing
about
justice in this case. Let me think about it; not all
the means
at our disposal are equally bound by considerations of
popularity."
"What," wondered Ryouko, appearing out of nowhere almost
nose-
to-nose with Aeka, hands clasped behind her back and wearing
a mischievous grin, "you just happen to have an I.M.
Force or a
Noir Team up your sleeve or something?"
"You are not supposed to know about those!" snapped
Aeka. "Forget
about them immediately!"
- - - - - - - - - -
So we catch up with the trio just in time to see their
trademark
speeches and poses. The leader waved her flower bouquet
around with one hand as she spoke. Yuri 'n I watched
all this
from the cockpit of the Lovely Angel, high above.
"On this pleasant planet, on this nice spring day, the warm
sunshine should be raising one's spirits. However, you have
depressed the spirits of the people by devastating their
cities
and killing them by the hundreds of thousands. This has
made me,
the Angel of Love, Wedding Peach, become mildly upset
with you!"
This, accompanied by a series of synchronized gestures
which ended
with all three girls pointing their bouquets at the
monster, just
floored Yuri and I. We fell backward on top of Mughi;
we couldn't
stop laughing for minutes. It didn't help when the
monster itself
tilted its head and beak to the side, as if puzzled.
Then the three bimbos did some trick with flashing
lights and a
quick change of clothes. Now, dressed in short,
brightly colored
outfits, each with something on their thigh which looked
for all
the world like a garter belt, they all three pointed up
into the
air in synchronized motions. And then they just flew.
As in up.
No visible jetpacks, nothing on their backs. Yuri started
typing rapidly into the sensor board. Turned out the
'garters'
were highly miniaturized, combined anti-grav/thruster units.
I turned to Yuri. "You've gotta be kidding me. They
only have
them on one leg. Wouldn't that make flying incredibly
awkward?
And wouldn't thrusters that small have, like, a significant
chance of exploding any given time you used them?"
Yuri replied, "I don't see how they couldn't. Of
course, this is
Juraian tech; maybe theirs are safer. Still, what's
wrong with a
standard flightpack?"
I answered, gloomily, "It's probably all about their
'wedding'
theme and their poll numbers. But they're good for
something;
I've got a clear shot with the main phaser cannon while
they're
distracting it." I aimed and fired.
I hit the monster dead center in its chest. And nothing
happened.
We checked the replays in slo-mo. Some sort of visible
energy
field appeared just before the beam hit the monster.
Not white,
like a Light Hawk Wing would be, but apparently just as
impregnable. Instead of absorbing the energy, this field
reflected it.
Yuri and I looked at each other. "What now?" we asked
simultaneously. We both shrugged, then looked back at
the battle
to see how the bimbos were doing. They continued to fly
around
the monster like gnats, shooting it with beams from
their hands,
to no effect. It didn't look like the monster even
noticed them.
One of our side monitors, tuned to the local news
stations, broke
in with a reporter announcing the results of the latest
polls.
Our three allies' popularity had taken a three-point
drop in the
last ten minutes.
Yuri called my attention to a new entrant descending
from the
upper atmosphere above us. It was one of the weirdest
ships I'd
ever seen, four crystal spikes emerging from a central
tower, the
whole thing an ugly grey. The news reporter interrupted
herself
to name the ship the "Ryou-ou-ki", and then said that
the probable
occupants included several members of Juraian royalty.
"Oh, great," I said to Yuri. "Now we've gotta protect
these crazy
royals who think they can do something about the situation."
Yuri tried to contact the ship to warn them away from
the area,
but they just ignored us. The ship descended to about one
thousand feet above the monster, then stopped. Three
more flying
figures emerged. I magnified the scene, and suddenly
found it
difficult to breathe. The most gorgeous man I'd ever
seen, the
man from our precognitive vision, was one of them,
wearing a pink
kimono. A sword of pure light appeared in his hands,
then grew.
He chopped downward with it towards the monster.
"No! It's too strong! It'll kill you," I heard Yuri
whisper, and
made a mental note to myself that I'd have to move quick
to beat
Yuri to this guy.
The sword clashed with the monster's forcefield and
stopped, but
held its position. The man grit his teeth; the muscles
in his
forearms tensed. Slowly the sword pushed through the
monster's
field. Once through, the monster itself was no barrier
at all to
the blade's passing.
- - - - - - - - - -
We landed near the area where the Ryou-ou-ki's crew had
beamed
down. The so-called Love Angels had landed as well, and
greeted
the new arrivals with brief bows. This little girl with
sky-blue
hair was earnestly pumping all three of their hands and
peppering
them with questions.
Yuri and I got out and walked over, accompanied by
Mughi. There
were a whole bunch of the royals, but only the one guy.
And two
of the women surrounding him were all too familiar to us.
"What are YOU two doing here?" I demanded of GP
detectives Mihoshi
and Kiyone. "How the hell did you ever get permission
to enter
Jurai space?"
Kiyone, the uptight one, just snorted and looked away.
Mihoshi,
the brainless one, clasped her hands together and said,
"Tenchi
invited me. And now we're going to be married!"
"Not just you!" sniped this purple-haired snooty
princess-type
in a formal kimono, echoed a moment later by this weird
biker
chick type with spiky cyan hair.
This short, red-headed girl seemed surprised when Mughi
walked out
from behind us. "A coerl. You keep a coerl as a pet.
Are the
two of you completely insane?" She asked impertinently,
waving a
small sensor device in Yuri's face. "They feed on
phosphorus
taken directly from living tissue."
"Oh, izzat what that stuff is?" I asked, surprised. I
glanced at
Yuri; she shrugged. "We just order his food from
central supply."
Mughi growled briefly at the red-haired twit.
"So what if I'm blowing your cover? Do I care?" the
twit replied,
pretending she could understand Mughi. Kids these days!
"You two must be the Lovely Angels I've heard so much
about," said
the love of my life, looking the two of us up and down
and bowing
briefly. His eyes definitely spent more time on my nice
tan than
on Yuri's pale skin.
"I'm Kei, and the ugly, temperamental one here is Yuri,"
I said as
quickly as I could, taking a quick step forward to cut
Yuri off.
Yuri anticipated me, though, and took a dancing step to
her left,
then forward in front of where she thought I'd be. I
tripped over
her foot and dragged her along as we both fell onto Mr.
Perfect.
I looked up to see three faces livid with anger, several
more
suffering from concern, and a pair of red-haired twerps,
cackling
with laughter.
- - - - - - - - - -
Eventually we got everything straightened out. The
three bimbo
'Love Angels' retired to a nearby outdoor bistro with
these other
three, the 'Magic Knights', who came back with the royals,
apparently to reminisce, kibbitz, whatever.
Yuri 'n I huddled with the red-heads and Prince Tenchi,
as we
learned he was called, and a few of his other
hangers-on. The
taller of the two red-heads, we learned, was the
legendary Hakubi
Washuu, some geeky science whiz-kid from way back.
This Washuu claimed to have created the monster herself,
some
fifteen thousand years ago, as well as a bunch more. We
watched
her type away on her computer, running a search for the
rest.
While this was going on, that snotty Princess Aeka was
placing a
vidcall to her brother, Prince Youshou, on that
backwoods planet
they'd all been living on.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Brother, I seek your advice on the matter of the
retired minister
Oshoku Jou, who, it seems, corruptly permitted
colonization of
this planet, Epsilonsis IV. Normally, such a one would
be brought
to justice by any available team of Soldiers of Love and
Justice,
but we have encountered a problem in seeking to enlist
them in
this particular case."
"She means none of them can do it 'cause they're all
related to
him," Ryouko amplified, suddenly standing right behind Aeka.
Aeka attempted to elbow Ryouko in the solar plexus, but
she was
no longer there.
"Hmmm... that does seem to be a grave problem," Youshou
allowed,
holding his chin in his right hand and nodding his
understanding.
"It has occurred to me," Aeka said diffidently, "that
this might
be a case where perhaps one of the... 'other assets'...
available
to the Royal Family might be brought into play. It does
seem to
me that this matter has now become our responsibility."
"I can see where such a course of action might occur to
you,"
Youshou admitted, pursing his lips in consideration.
"Do you agree with me that we should activate one of
these teams?"
asked Aeka with a little more intensity in her tone,
"and, if so,
do you think a Noir Team or an I.M. Force would be more
suitable?"
Youshou's eyes widened. His eyes quickly shifted left, then
right, before the incipient panic on his features was
replaced
by a crafty smile.
After appearing to give the matter due consideration,
Youshou
said carefully, "I must admit that I think the
employment of a
Noir Team for this matter seems out of proportion."
"I see." Aeka said, testily. "I will refrain from
asking whether
your personal situation has any bearing on your advice.
Please
ask the relevant ladies to join this call, and I will
issue their
charge. And if you wish to send the other pair to this
planet as
well, I am sure we can find some use for them."
Youshou nodded, pleased, then stepped away from the
screen and
called out the door of his office back at the Masaki
Shrine on
Earth. A few moments later, the faces of Sutingurei Shiria,
Daitokuji Pikko, Amberudon Teruzi, and Haafusaaku
Menori, four
of Youshou's official fiancees, filled the screen.
"Good morning, Shiria," Aeka began, using the ceremonial
words,
millenia old. "The man in this picture is Oshoku Jou, a
retired
minister recently determined to be guilty of corruption.
Your
mission, should you decide to accept it, is to expose his
corruption to the empire and bring him to justice in the
traditional manner. If any member of your Imperial
Majesty Force
is caught or killed, the Royal Family will disavow any
knowledge
of your mission." Aeka held her solemn expression as she
finished
reciting the ancient charge.
Shiria answered for the group. "Your Highness, we
understand and
accept the mission." She, Pikko, Teruzi, and Menori
then bowed
and cut the connection.
"Okay, you've managed to surprise me," admitted Ryouko,
appearing
again beside Aeka. "Those girls have lived with us or
just up
the hill for months, and neither you nor they have ever
once let
this slip."
Aeka smiled craftily. "A princess must be able to keep
secrets,
Ryouko. Keep this in mind for when you become one."
- - - - - - - - - -
Turned out all of the other so-called 'Angels' were
still buried
in this pit five miles deep, with an entrance tucked
away in the
middle of this huge mountain range. "Almost certainly still
dormant," the twerp chirped at us, obviously amused.
Well, Yuri
and I knew what THAT meant: the damn things would wake
up as
soon as we got there, whether we had anything to do with
it or
not.
Still, it WAS our job to see this through. So there we
were, Yuri
and I accompanying Prince Tenchi, detective Mihoshi, the
biker
chick Ryouko, and, to our disbelief, two of the kids:
Edward and
Alielle. The latter kept giving Yuri 'n I these odd
looks and
licking her lips. Gave me the creeps.
We took one of our hovercycles down this long shaft.
Got pretty
dark, but Ryouko made this ball of light which helped some.
At the bottom, just as Washuu had said, an entrance to
the side
led into an enormous cavern. Our steps, quiet as they were,
echoed eerily in the silence. In the dim light, we
could just
make out a number of large, indefinite shapes. I could hear
detective Mihoshi whimpering behind me. I hoped she was
pointing
her blaster somewhere else.
"Ryouko, a bit more light, please? Edward, where is the
'S2'
power supply in this first one?" Tenchi called. Yummy,
such a
masculine, assertive tone in his voice, too.
Edward cocked her head, staring into the screen on the
hand-held
detector she carried. "Swimmer, flyer, halo, cube, lead
me to
your access tube," she chanted, then drifted towards the
nearest
shape.
Pretty soon she was shining a laser pointer at a
particular spot
on the chest of the nearest. "Full meters five the S2 lies;
without its power the Angel dies," the geek continued in a
stilted funeral tone.
Yuri and I glanced at each other. I rolled my eyes.
Yuri stifled
a giggle.
Mr. Handsome (even if he did have too many fiancees)
summoned his
Light Hawk Sword and cut where Ed pointed. Much to Yuri
'n my
surprise, nothing unusual happened.
Nothing much unusual happened, in fact, as we went
through the
rest of the cavern, disabling all the other 'Angels'.
- - - - - - - - - -
Up above, this fact was surprising somebody else, too.
"I can't BELIEVE it. Nothing's going wrong. Not one of the
things is waking up and killing millions of people." Kiyone
sounded as astonished as she looked. "This NEVER
happens with
the Dirty Pair."
"Oh? Disaster occurs that frequently around them?"
asked Washuu
with interest, as she tracked the team's progress down
below.
"They've never had one, single mission go right in their
entire
careers, except for the one where Mihoshi and I met them."
"Hmmm... maybe I'd better run a few tests, then,"
replied Washuu.
"You said they're supposed to be precogs, right?"
"That's supposedly why the GWA recruited them, though
I've never
heard that it helped them any."
"If they're beneficially psychic in one way, they might have
another, off-setting but less obvious, psychic gift as
well,"
Washuu commented absently. "So why isn't it triggering now?
Oh, well, more experiments to run," she added gleefully.
- - - - - - - - - -
By the time we all got back up on the surface again,
without any
disasters or anything happening, two more
teenage-looking girls
had arrived, Rei and Asuka. Turned out they, like the
'Magic
Knights', were fiancees of Tenchi's grandfather, Prince
Youshou.
Guess it runs in the family.
Everybody had joined the two teams of 'Soldiers' at the
outdoor
bistro (which was, I admit, a very nice place for
kicking back
and letting loose. Lots of pretty-good-looking guys in
every
direction). Yuri and I were trying to ignore Mihoshi
and Kiyone,
pretending to consult with Washuu while making sure
Tenchi had a
good view of us. To tell you the truth, I was starting
to sour on
him, though. I mean, a little competition is fine, as
long as you
win; it just means that you've picked the right guy.
But this
Tenchi was somehow stringing along at least eight
fiancees! He'd
somehow convinced them all they were happy sharing him,
too! And
on top of all that, he wasn't even looking at me very often!
Just to my right, Sasami exclaimed in delight as the
waiter droid
brought her food, Rei's, and Asuka's. I glanced her way
just as
Sasami asked Rei to pass her a knife. I blinked,
startled. Did
I really see that? It looked like this manikin-like
teenager had
just flipped that knife around, one-handed, in one of
the slickest
moves I'd ever seen. Sasami's face sure looked like
she'd seen
something unusual, but the other new girl, Asuka, didn't
look the
least bit surprised. She had something else on her mind.
"You just left those things disabled down there?" Asuka
asked
Washuu. "Can you make mecha out of them? I've always
wanted my
own mecha. Bright red, to fit my personality! C'mon,
Wonder
Girl, let's go pick up some mecha of our own!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Meanwhile, the foursome we hadn't met yet had made it to the
planet Drazilon VI, where the corrupt minister, Ochoku
Jou, lived
in a secluded villa, well fortified against intruders.
"Thanks to Teruzi, we have all the evidence we need.
However,
in order to give him the traditional notice, we have to
get into
his villa surreptitiously," Shiria said, as the four hovered
over a detailed holomap of the villa. "He has the standard
defenses against incoming uninvited teleports, Which
means we
have to get Pikko's miniaturized teleporter inside his villa
somehow, preferably into his smoking library." Shiria
indicated
the room she wanted. "What about miniaturized 'bots
carrying it
in over the walls, Pikko?"
"I don't think they'll work. His defenses were made by my
father's megacorp; they're of my design, just last
year," Pikko
said regretfully. "They'll spot my 'bots, and then
we'll have
a shooting war."
"Right." Shiria turned to Teruzi and Menori. "Then
it's time
for our secret weapon. Here's the map; do your stuff,
you two."
Menori put down her panpipe and summoned her pets. The fire
lizards appeared in the air around them, swarming around and
around, but eventually setting down on any convenient
surface.
"Fortunately, nobody but we know that these little-known
creatures can get through any teleport defense," Pikko
commented.
"Though it's still a mystery to me how they do it."
"Please DON'T figure it out and design an improved
defense for
your father," Shiria said tiredly, "at least not while
we're in
this business."
Teruzi looked Menori in the eyes and nodded. The two
went en
rapport, Teruzi's xeno-telepathy enhancing Menori's natural
empathy for her pets enough so that highly specific
orders could
be communicated to the lizards.
The fair of fire lizards, clustered together, picked up
Pikko's
teleporter and vanished.
- - - - - - - - - -
I signalled Yuri and we both headed for the bathroom.
Once away
from the table, I hissed, "Yuri, this guy is the pits.
He hasn't
even glanced my way for fifteen minutes now. And the
competition's too much. Our job's over; let's just take
off."
"Kei, what are you talking about? He's cute! And he's
looked MY
way twice in the last five minutes. Let's stick around,
at least
until they all leave or something. We aren't in any hurry."
"He's only looking at you 'cause you're flashing him
cleavage!"
Yuri always pretends to be the cool, cerebral one, but
don't you
believe it! When it comes to cute guys, she's as
scatter-brained
as anyone I've ever met.
"If you've got it, flaunt it, I always say," Yuri
replied with
a smirk, flipping her hair back.
I growled at her, but she was right: we didn't have
anywhere
else we needed to be right now, and, what they hey? The guy
might still come to his senses and tell me I'm the most
beautiful
woman he's ever seen.
- - - - - - - - - -
Shiria, Pikko, and Teruzi 'ported in, leaving Menori
behind to
monitor their progress. Judging by the time, Oskoku Jou was
almost certainly at dinner.
Carefully, Shiria cleared away the surface of the table
beside
the most-worn armchair, and adjusted the reading light
to shine
right onto it. Pikko handed her the traditional notice and
ceremonial silver devolver, with a single charge.
As quietly as they came, the three beamed out.
Half an hour later, Oskoku Jou walked in, wearing an
elegant silk
smoking jacket, carrying a glass of cognac and smoking a
cigar.
He saw the letter and devolver. The cigar fell,
unnoticed, from
his mouth; the cognac glass shattered on the floor.
Crossing rapidly to the table, he ripped the letter
open. He
was afraid he already knew what it would say: that
evidence of
his corruption (and its consequences to the population of
Epsilonsis IV) was on its way to the news media.
Oskoku Jou stood still, head bowed, contemplating a
future devoid
of even respect, let alone competitive poll ratings.
The prospect
seemed unappealing.
One alternative remained: the traditional, honorable
way out.
His shoulders stiffened, and he picked up the devolver.
- - - - - - - - - -
And back on Epsilonsis IV, things were rapidly changing
for the
worse.
"Nope, no question about it!" the snippy redhead said.
Boy did I
ever want to wipe that smirk off her face. "The psychic
'bad-luck' aura you two generate is completely dampened
as long as
the two of you stay within a hundred meters of Mihoshi.
And your
clairvoyance abilities are enhanced, too!"
"Screw this! C'mon, Yuri, we're out of here!" I snapped.
"Too late! Ed already informed your superiors," the
other twerp
cackled.
"And beside," the midget pervert purred, "I'd like to get to
know the two of you SO much better."
Our communicators buzzed. It was our boss Gooley,
natch. And
what did he want? He ORDERED us to stay with this
polygamous
prince and his sap brides-to-be. He showed us the pile of
petitions on his desk, begging us to spend the rest of
our lives
with them.
"Well... we're NOT marrying you, understand!?" I shouted
at Tenchi.
"Even if you are kind of cute," added Yuri.
"We're gonna figure some way outta this," I insisted.
"And when
we do, we're outta here!"
"So it doesn't matter what nice things you say to us," Yuri
assured him. "Or even if you happen to give us candy or
flowers."
"Cause we're still leaving! As soon as we figure out how!"
- - - - - - - - - -
THE END (for now).
This and other fanfics (including parts 1-11) stored at:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/5058
Notes:
Why the first-person, told by Kei? Because that's the way
Haruka Takachiho always wrote his novels. Mughi really is
a Van Vogt coerl in the original, too; that's one
respect in
which the American manga is closer to the original
than the
anime was.
And what was up with Seto and Kiyone? Well, the
release of
GXP and its revelations puts me in a bind, since I'd
already
added Kiyone to this cast. Who could have guessed that
Kajishima would decline to add Kiyone in OAV III, but
instead
introduce a different green-haired former partner of
Mihoshi's?
I decided I'd try to stay as close as possible to the
OAVs,
which means changes for Kiyone.
Hikaru, Fuu, and Umi (Magic Knights Rayearth) were created
by CLAMP; Rei and Asuka are owned by Gainax;
Teruzi (Telzey Amberdon) created by James H. Schmitz;
Menori (Menolly) created by Anne McCaffrey.
Radical Edward is from "Cowboy Bebop".
Alielle from El Hazard;
Kei and Yuri are from "Dirty Pair";
Momoko, Yuri, and Hinagiku are from "Wedding Peach".
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