Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Tue, 04 Mar 2003 08:03:23 -0800 Steve Thesken <sthesken@earthlink.net>
wrote:
A martial arts duel over the boy had a certain dramatic appeal, but
only the Kuonji girl had any notable fighting skills. It was a pity
that Soun's daughter had let her combat abilities dwindle since her
mother's untimely death. Beating Nabiki Tendo to a bloody mess in
single combat would have been enjoyable, and also quite legal under the
Empire's dueling laws. And if any of the other girls were unwise
enough to choose to make an issue of Ranma, Hinako would gladly knock
out a few of their teeth, purely as an object lesson, perhaps even
breaking a major bone or two if they gave her much of a challenge. Not
that they could, Hinako mused with a smile.
She's a little out of date. Nabiki and Kodachi have improved
significantly and Hinako doesn't seem to be aware of Utena. Then
there's Anthy who rolled them all up like a rug without even breaking
as sweat. Anthy isn't interested in Ranma, but she might react if
Hinako threatens Utena.
Is she aware of the Phoenix project? I may have misunderstood or
may be misreacalling, but I get the impression that Hinako is a Mark I
or came from a rival project.
Nabiki paused in her questioning of Hiroshi, glancing over to where her
best friend was standing guard, watching out for any instructors coming
by. Her fist was bunched into the front of Hiroshi's jacket, holding
him firmly. Her inquiries had been coming up dry all morning, and she
was starting to think she was simply being paranoid. But someone had
been moving in on her organization, and someone had trapped Ranma in
the locker room with the Wolf Pack a few weeks ago.
It's interesting that she is seeing a connection between the two
events. The Wolf Pack attack on Akane should also be considered.
"There he is!" came a cry from a female voice. Hearing a deep rumbling
sound moving up quickly behind him, Ranma turned around and gaped at
what he saw. A number of girls were now converging on him from several
directions, running hard.
"Ranma Saotome!" cried the first to reach him, a trim girl in a gray
uniform. "Feel the strength of my passion!" And she tried to hit him.
This looks... familiar.
"I love you, Ranma Saotome!" A shorter girl in a blue uniform lunged
at him with a flying kick aimed at his head, her unexpected statement
nearly giving her the drop on him.
That and the clear view of her knickers he just got.
"Yes," said Dean {Fuyutski : Fuyutsuki} with a brief nod, watching Ranma's impromptu
fight with interest. He glanced once at the Chinese man standing next
to him at the window, a handsome gentleman with gray salted throughout
his straight hair, dressed in a white silk shirt and dark blue pants.
"He has good potential, wouldn't you say?" He received only a grunt
from the other in return.
"Oh, yes," Ami replied. "I should be able to give you a complete
tactical analysis of Saotome-san's fighting abilities by lunchtime."
She winced as she watched Ranma side-step two girls coming in from
either side of him, one girl ending up kneeing the other in the face.
"I should be able to let you know of any weak points in his technique
by then, if he has any."
"Excellent." Nanami rubbed her hands together gleefully. Selling that
information to the other members of the club would be a very profitable
endeavor.
She kind of skipped over the "if he has any".
"I look forward to crushing him when he is sniveling with fear before
me from his pathetic little phobia." Then he smiled. "I've also given
the matter some thought and I have decided to give you a gift, Tiger."
He looked over at Lynx and Panther. "For all three of you, actually."
It looks like a slight misunderstanding of Nekoken. That's
understandable since only Tiger has really seen it and didn't
understand what happened. Everyone else has only seen the phobia.
"While I deal with Ranma Saotome, the three of you are to keep Nabiki
Tendo occupied, as well as anyone else who tries to interfere with my
business with him." His grip tightened painfully on Tiger's jaw, and
he dropped his gaze to look into her eyes again. "But there is to be
no serious damage done to Nabiki, Tiger. I want her to fall by my hand
and by mine alone, once I'm done with breaking Ranma Saotome. She's
mine. Do I make myself absolutely clear?"
Has Nabiki picked up Nekoken too? I know the Nabiki in Nabiki 1/2
did, but I don't recall this Nabiki being aprehensive around cats.
"Sure, I guess," Ranma replied, nodding. He began walking Kodachi to
the main building. He didn't notice her {trodding : treading} on the occasional
hand or limb as she walked just behind him. He was more {focussed : focused} on
keeping an eye out for Nabiki, but he hadn't seen her yet.
With a grin, Ukyo suddenly spied Ranma among a group of cadets, walking
towards the main building. But her grin turned to a frown when she saw
who he was talking and walking with: Kodachi Kuno. The noblewoman was
standing just a little too close to her Ranchan for Ukyo's tastes. The
ninja girl felt quite irritated at the sight. She leaped high into the
air, unsheathing her battle spatula for balance and hoping to spook her
rival for Ranma's attention a bit.
A little too close. Isn't that anywhere in the same hemisphere?
Nabiki finally saw who her foe was as they had flashed by each other,
recognizing Ukyo Kuonji, dressed in the gray uniform of a male Security
cadet. She was a bit surprised when she missed Ukyo cleanly, something
that indicated she faced a much more highly-skilled fighter than she
had {calculated : thought}. She flipped over in midair and descended gracefully,
curious to see what the other girl intended.
Ukyo, finding herself unable to violate the laws of physics any further
than she had already done, touched down, her feet landing squarely atop
Kodachi's skull. The gray-uniformed ninja girl bounced off and upwards
a moment later, flipping her body agilely and ending up landing next to
Ranma, but she had unintentionally transferred a significant amount of
kinetic energy down into the unsuspecting noblewoman.
I doubt that Ukyo feels all that bad about landing on Kodachi.
"I'm game, Sugar," Ukyo said with false cheer. So Ranma liked this
prissy bimbo chasing after him, eh? Ukyo considered the potential
challenge that the Kuno girl represented and promptly dismissed her as
a threat. A ninja of her skills was not about to lose to someone like
Kodachi Kuno. And pounding her pretty face into so much mush was going
to be the very least that Ukyo planned to do to the other girl, if she
didn't back off {on : from} Ranma. The same went for Nabiki, and she owed that
one a few hard punches (and maybe a kick) into her face anyway.
Looking like a man heading to the gallows, Ranma was escorted into the
main building with both girls still firmly holding onto his arms.
So much for sneaking off to his lab.
Morning classes began with homeroom. Ukyo stood at the front of the
room as Ayaka gathered her class notes, still feeling a bit fragile.
She smiled at the new addition to the class, and she wasn't the only
one. As she straightened papers, many of the female cadets gazed
happily at Ukyo, some even sighing.
"Class, this is Ukyo Kuonji, who will be joining us as a new cadet this
term," announced Ayaka solemnly{, still feeling a little fragile this
morning :}.
You mentioned her still feeling fragile twice.
Nabiki eyed the storm clouds moving by overhead as she stepped out of
the door leading to the {girls : girls'} locker room. She was dressed in one of
her light-green Chinese-style shirts and a pair of black gi pants, tied
tightly at the waist and ankles. She lifted her arms up high over her
head, lacing her fingers together as she stretched, feeling the muscles
in her upper back and shoulders loosening a bit.
Kodachi emerged from the locker room, glancing around for Ranma as was
her usual habit each day. She didn't see him, but she caught sight of
Nabiki and frowned. Her dear brother Tatewaki was honoring his vow to
Nabiki after his loss at her hands, but without him around to provide a
distraction, the Tendo girl was proving to be most annoying. At least
that cross-dressing savage wasn't joining their class.
I thought Ukyo was a barbarian. :}b
Stepping out from the {boys : boys'} locker area, Ranma was dressed in one of his
red Chinese-style shirts and a pair of black gi pants, tied at the
ankles and waist. Storm clouds rolled lazily across the skies, heavy
and black with moisture. He walked over to sit between Nabiki and
Kodachi, taking his usual position between them.
"Hey, Ranma-kun," Nabiki drawled to him in greeting, leaning forward,
her legs together as she bent almost double, giving him a rather nice
view of the swell of her breasts within her Chinese-style shirt as she
moved. A measuring look was in her eyes as she gazed at him, as well
as a slight smirk on her lips. She then went back to {focussing : focusing} on her
exercises.
Memories from her other self suddenly burst across her mind's eye, of
breaks from training sometimes spent in grungy movie houses, watching
the film exploits of a man who had been dead for years on that other
world. Nabiki had never had much interest in the man's movies in her
own life, where his career had {spanned : continued} for years longer, so it was a
double shock to see him, here and now, an older man, walking up to her
with a casual stride.
Genma smirked. "Afraid she'll beat you up again, if you two are left
alone together?"
Ranma grumbled, but he said nothing more. Fine. He'd take Nabiki on a
stupid date.
Actually, he should look on it as opportunity to learn the technique.