At 05:18 PM 3/4/2003 +1300, Angus MacSpon wrote:

Here's some input I've received.
Opinions?

Yes.  You shouldn't post private replies publicly.  *Very* bad
form.

And against the rules.  But for the record, besides skipping a
total spell check, I don't write email that I'm not willing to let
the whole world see.  The C&C was private because it was mostly
negative, and I believe in the principle of public praise,
private criticism.  If she wants it to be public, that's OK
by me, and I formally grant Andrea permission for that message.

And to answer/elucidate a couple of questions:

  [ Andrea. ]

  Opinions?

I would be interested (although the replies should be private to me
and Andrea) in opinions of my email; I've only sent one more negative
C&C (to an author combining two incompatible series and who didn't
know the characters *at all*), and the other less negative case was
an author who simply needed to wait till he could watch some more
source anime --- very very frustrating when he had so much else
nailed down.  Anyway, is this a good balance to strike between
present reality and future promise?  (I repeat, private replies!)

  Also, does Harold Ancell have any fanfiction?

None that he will admit to ^_^.  Been reading fiction for ... a
rather long time, and having gotten into the C&C process, I don't
read it like I used to (it's kind of funny to want to take a
red pen to a professional published author's pages :-).  But I
have an idea of what it would take to jump from my non-fiction
writing to fiction, and I just don't have the time now.

To anyone who does write non-fiction (e.g. business documents
of whatever sort), spending time giving C&C will really sharpen
your non-fiction skills, and also very likely make what you write
interesting and stylish enough that people will read it.  (And if
you don't write non-fiction now, you probably will someday.)

That said ... as Howard pointed out, pretty much the whole
first chapter has been done quite a few times before.

I'll just note that informal study by myself has determined that
almost every human has one slot in their brain for the two names
Howard and Harold.  Change it and they'll get the other name wrong. ^_^ 

I don't, however, agree that your writing skills are not up to it.

I'll just note that I believe Andrea's skills are close, maybe
very close.  I believe what she has to do is to learn a particular
craft in writing; she most certainly has the foundation.

Characterization is the big one, one I think people have difficultly
with in general, in everything including real life.  It's just plain
difficult to put yourself in someone else's shoes, let alone most
characters based on the ... interesting mind of Takahashi.

One purely personal comment: I strongly advise against referring to
female-Ranma as "he".

Normally I disagree, after having worked with several authors who
tried it both ways. at least when Ranma is talking to a woman. 
Core gender seems to be the least *confusing*, although that it
probably not the only important thing, except:

*Especially* when there are male and female Ranmas present.

This example makes that crystal clear, even given this:

I realise that this is intended to realise Ranma's internal
perceptions (he's a guy, whatever form he's in), but it does make
things a lot harder for the reader;

Absolutely; I had to focus closely.  I think an author of such
stories is best in showing the male identification in other ways,
and the nature of these stories should make that pretty easy.
("And she can sleep in Akane's room." "I'm a man, damn it!" etc.)

and anything that adds an extra barrier for the reader is
something you should consider, reconsider, and re-reconsider.
And then, if at all possible, eliminate.

Spot on: sweat blood to make your reader's job as effortless
as possible, so that they can focus on what's important and
inescapably requiring effort.

Which brings me to a web page I came across recently.  Ostensibly
focused on the "five paragraph essay", but with this start:

  I have been asked to contribute to LSAmagazine an essay about the
  five-paragraph essay.(1)  I have no desire to write such an essay:
  writing about boring writing is even more boring than reading boring
  writing---and the five-paragraph essay is generally boring.

you know it's of general interest.  He emphasizes two things, Purpose
(which I think applies to fiction) and Audience (which has the obvious
applications), and one technique mostly useful for essays but with
obvious fiction potential: "Make the private public".  In the rare
cases where you can do that, it can make for *powerful* writing; I
know at least one FFML writer who seems to apply this well.  You have
to be careful, but if you can tap your own experiences, emotions, and
stories you can achieve a lot, even if indirectly.

  http://www.magazine.lsa.umich.edu/feature/rubadeau.asp

					- Harold


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