Only a few small comments...

As the shouts of joy came from her creations, 
she couldn't help but smile. However, it
slowly faded when a single question surfaced that
she couldn't answer with certainty.

*I only hope we are ready,* was all Sylia 
could reply as she left the control room.

Maybe "...Was all she could think...", instead.  Or just replace * with ".  
Either or.

  

   When they had arrived, Sylia could tell 
that this would be harder than she thought.

I'd remove ther 'had'.  Doesn't sound right, though it could just be me...

A large hole had been blown into the outside 
wall. From there was a path of crunched
floor tiles from where the boomer had 
walked. Along the path, laid all kinds of 
debris from destroyed storeowners, to smashed 
benches.

"Along the path laid all kinds... store owners to smashed benches."

After a few minutes of following the 
trail though, they had found their quarry,
a seven foot tall, silver, humanoid 
figure throwing benches and other items 
around at random. Also she could make out 
the shapes of some ADPolice officers had taken
cover at different spots in the mall.

I'd remove the 'though', as well as the 'Also'.

*A C-55,* Sylia thought as she watched the 
boomer tear up some more railing, *It shouldn't 
be too hard to defeat, I'll just sneak up on 
it and...*

"... defeat; I'll just..."

The voices of her team suddenly called out 
in unison. Three figures floated in front
of the machine, each the size of a small child 
and dressed in a miniature version of Sylia's 
own suit. The only difference was that the 
suits each had a different color scheme of
Blue, Green and Pink.

I don't think you need to capitalize the colors here, though I'm probably 
wrong.

"SURRENDER NOW!" The three shouted,"OR FACE THE 
WRATH OF THE SABER PUFF GIRLS!"

All was silent for a few second then small sounds 
of laughter began to come from the places the police 
had taken cover.As they got louder, Sylia put her 
hand over her visor and shook her head then 
muttered:

"... few seconds,..."  "...over her visor, shook her head..."

"I should have gone with the agents."

As Allyn Yonge is fond of saying, every comment is but my opinion.  Take them 
as you will.  

Overall, very nicely done.  The idea of the PPG as Knight Sabers was funny...

Dave Fox



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