All is IMO. Please ignore if you don't like it.

The grammar and spelling is fine. Any mistakes you may have made is this area I've obviously missed. Except,

A black hole of despair washed in from nowhere and started eating up his insides. "how could you." 

insides. "How could you?"

Mainly though, the fic is very short. Too short, like reading a teaser than an actual chapter. Mostly, I just want to see more of Genma and Nodoka, and to have a bit more knowledge of where this story is headed.

So for this to be an actual chapter, you've got to have a direction. And you need to point your reader in this direction.

Thanks.
___________________________________________________

Troy Thomas
___________________________________________________

http://ca.geocities.com/therealsilentnova/
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