Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Thu, 27 Feb 2003 08:16:09 -0500 Django Wexler <dwexler@andrew.cmu.edu>
wrote:
"I can try." Rin put one hand on the cold concrete and shakily
clambered to her feet. Halfway there, her knees wobbled. [Kim...] Her
{roommates : roomate's} face floated, just out of reach, and Rin felt herself falling
until Deus put {on : a : one} hand on her shoulder. His grip was warm, steady, with
the slightest crackle of electric power underneath it. "Sorry...I'm
just, a little..."
[Wow.] The cynical, {unshakeable : unshakable} root of Mary couldn't help but
wonder what had happened. [Whatever that thing did, she got quite a
dose of it.] Her eyes flickered across the room to Kei, still nearly
catatonic. [I wonder what she saw?]
"The couch is fine." Sumiko stretched out. "I don't know how much
sleep I'll get anyway."
After seeing how Sumiko got started as a magical girl, I can see why
she is so fanatical about serving.
"The problem. It's in the unconscious limitations. If I create a
monster from a video game, no matter how powerful it is, it was designed
to somehow be beaten. We need something whose power can grow
{unboundedly : without bounds}."
[This is pretty stupid.] Mary chided herself gently. [But I have
to know. Better it goes bad here, now, when Sumiko and Kei might have a
chance of stopping me. I have to know.]
If that's a concern, she should let them know before she does
anything.
"'Morning, Sumi." She stopped. "Can I call you Sumi, by the way?"
It's a little late to be asking that.
His lip twisted. "Only a matter of time. This last victory was a
stroke of luck. I doubt they will survive another attack."
He doesn't understand the kind of power she's been meddling in. I
wonder how knowing about the sword would affect his evaluation. It
looks more and more like that sword is a wildcard that only Mary is
aware of; that could throw off everyone's calculations.
"Nothing in particular. I just felt like I hadn't seen you in a
while." [Idiot.] The sentence had just slipped out. In fact, Mary had
debated on the way over exactly what she should say to Robyn, with
little success. [I should just tell her everything. Magic, demons,
everything.]
That would make things far too easy. Robyn has started to invest a
lot of herself in the other side though.
"Sure. Ahem." The little demon broke into passable verse and an
awful British accent. "She was not afraid to fight, brave brave Sir
Mary! She was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave brave
brave brave Sir Mary. With her ears cut off and her eyes gouged out,
her--"
Now there's a morale booster.
Lia stood staring for a long time. Then, slowly, afraid the
universe would shatter under the weight of her motion, she turned and
left the mall one step at a time. [I've got to tell Mary.] Somehow,
Mary would know what to do. On the floor above, forgotten, Darren
waited impatiently for his girlfriend's return.
Boy is she shook; forgetting her boyfriend and her shopping.
Robyn's eyes were closed, but her hands twitched as she manipulated
the magic of Ayre's machine, picking things from mid-air and moving them
in inexplicable ways. Ayre looked on, curious, and nodded vaguely as
Tsuiren appeared at his side.
>From Kei's thoughts, I begin to wonder if any of the beyonders are
actually real except for Ayre.
Ayre hastily threw up a shield in front of himself and Robyn, felt
Tsuiren do the same. Bits of crystal whirred outwards, impaling
themselves with deadly force in the marble walls of the domain. Raw
energy leaked from the base like blood from a wound, until Ayre hastily
cut the flow; what was left {earthed : grounded} itself in a series of spectacular
discharges.
Anyone who can peg all the {refences : references} in this last section gets a
cookie. It's theoretically possible, I think, though at least one is
extremely obscure...
That remake of "Brave Sir Robin" certainly wasn't. It might have fit
Robyn as well.