Cute Kitsune Kaydee The Goddess Of Sex And Perversion And Exhibitionism
wrote:

    Setsuna Meioh was at the Gates of Time when a sudden sound disturbed
her.

    With a grinding like noise a blue Police Box materialized out of no
where. The door in the box opened and out stepped a man with curly black
hair, a wide-brimmed hat, and a silly scarf.

    Setsuna knew him for a Time Lord. She would always know one of that race
no matter what their form. She also knew who this Time Lord was.

    She stepped up to the man and hugged him tightly.

    "It's so good to see you again!" , she exclaimed with tears in her eyes.

    The Doctor was surprised and stepped back from her and gasped in shock
when he saw her.

    "It's you!" , yelled The Doctor. "How? I thought you were dead!" He then
hugged her repeating one word over and over and over and over again.
"Mother."

1) This should have a spam tag. Though it's really pretty short even for 
spam. (I suppose, if one felt extremely generous, it could be called a 
spamFIC.) More likely, it should be called a concept. A "draft" implies 
that it is an entire fic that merely has some rough edges that need 
going over, as does "rough"... "rough" and "draft" are usually the same 
thing, unless it's a "second draft" or "third draft". If your intention 
is to use tags to get the subject line as long as the fic, you're 
getting there.
2) None of the Doctor's incarnations looks even vaguely Japanese, or 
like Setsuna in any way. Even if it were in the LEAST likely that Doctor 
Who were Setsuna's son (as I suppose you've skipped out on bothering to 
prove with an "alt" label), it seems very unlikely... in fact, 
completely and utterly opposed to every episode of Doctor Who I've seen, 
that if reunited with his mother, the Doctor would collapse crying like 
a little boy. (Completely ignoring how Setsuna would immediately 
recognize him, since the TARDIS would not have looked like a police box 
when he first got it, and the Doctor would have gone through any number 
of different bodies.)
3) If you're going to do these, you could at least put some thorough 
description into them. The single phrase "The Doctor was surprised and 
stepped back from her and gasped in shock when he saw her." is about the 
worst thing I've seen since I left the Ranma/Ryoga Mailing List and 
stopped seeing Trakal's dreck.
4) Please trim your name in your email program. I mean, it's bad enough 
to take a name like that in your sig, but forcing everyone to use it 
when they reply to you is just wrong.
5) The concept itself isn't all that promising. While I suppose it could 
be written and come off as fairly interesting, it would probably only be 
so to those who are very big Doctor Who and Sailor Moon fans combined... 
I actually like Doctor Who, and the thought of that crossover interests 
me not at all. It doesn't seem to have much in the way of interest 
possibilities, especially considering that the Doctor rarely stayed in 
one place very long. The concept's also extremely prone to "fanboy 
worship syndrome", IE it would likely wind up with either the Doctor 
showing off all his gadgets and whatnot and everyone around him going 
"Wow you are so cool you are so great you are amazing!" or with the 
Senshi showing off and the Doctor going "Wow you are so cool you are so 
great you are amazing!"

-Rann



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