Subject: [FFML] [Ranma] It Would Never Happen in the Ranma Universe!
From: Roja Cyd
Date: 2/16/2003, 2:44 AM
To: ffml@anifics.com


DISCLAIMER: Ranma & company belong to Rumiko
Takahashi. Some day they shall rebel. 

A/N: I wrote this after watching the trailer for "A
Guy Thing". I�m sure it needs to be re-worked a bit.
*************************************************

CHAPTER 1- Something to Talk about 

�Everyone, thank you for coming!� Soun Tendo raised a
fluted glass brimming with champagne and grinned
around at the guests crammed into his dojo. �I�d like
to toast the union of the two schools of Anything Goes
Martial Arts through the upcoming marriage of my
daughter Akane to Ranma Saotome!� 

Beside him, Akane and Ranma held hands and blushed. 

�They�ll be wed in one week!� Genma announced from his
place beside Soun, his round glasses misty with
happiness. Ranma�s mother beamed at him as the couple
held hands. 

�You�ve done a wonderful job of raising our son, Genma
dear,� she whispered to him as the guests cheered.
�I�m so proud of him and Akane.� 

�Well, tomboy, I guess this is it,� said Ranma,
grinning down at his fianc�e. Akane was flushed with
happiness and excitement. He wondered if she knew how
adorable she looked. He glanced up at the ceiling.
�Yup, can�t run anymore, here comes the ol� ball and
chain�.� 

Akane elbowed him lightly, smiling. �Jerk. Next time
don�t ask me, then!� 

She looked out over the crowd, meeting the gazes of
friends and relatives who had come to celebrate her
upcoming marriage. Shampoo, Ukyou and Kodachi hadn�t
made an appearance, but then she hadn�t expected them
to. 

No doubt they were home busy working on their plans to
cut loose her fianc� from her before the wedding could
take place. Kodachi wasn�t in sight either. 

That was okay. Akane wasn�t going to spend time
worrying about those two. If she thought about them
for too long, she�d be tempted to wrap Ukyou�s spatula
around both of them and stick them with Kodachi in a
cell somewhere. 

�Hey, Ranma, you sly dog!� Ryouga slung his arm around
Ranma�s shoulders as the party returned to its normal
swing. �Ready for your bachelor party?� 

�Damn right! It�s My last week of freedom after all.�
Ranma smiled as he remembered Akane�s admonitions
about hookers. 

�Ryouga�.� Akane turned when she saw the fanged boy.
�I�m counting on you to keep Ranma out of trouble,
okay?� 

�You bet, Akane.� 

******************************************************

 Three hours later, Ranma snagged a drink from a
passing waiter and looked around the bar his friends
had rented for his bachelor party. 

Streamers and balloons hung from the walls and the
ceiling. A disco globe rotated slowly overhead.
Comfortable leather sofas matched the black d�cor. All
around the bar, Ranma�s male friends and acquaintances
were taking this chance to drink themselves insane and
get up to all sorts of hijinks that ensued at a
bachelor party. 

Hiroshi and Daisuke were parked at the bar, knocking
back shot after shot. Kuno was playing pool with
Mousse and Tarou. Ranma�s other friends were standing
around, drinks in their hands, talking to each other. 

Ryouga was approaching Ranma. 

�Hey, watch this,� he said and clapped his hands. 

Suddenly, Hawaiian music started up and a line of
pretty girls dressed in grass skirts and green bikini
tops, with garlands around their necks and on their
foreheads, came swaying into the room in a single
line. 

Ranma clapped and cheered along with the other guys,
laughing as the girls turned and shook their butts so
the grass skirts wiggled. The line approached him,
circled him and danced around him, the girls bowing to
him as though he were some kind of Hawaiian volcano
god.  The pace of the dance became faster and faster
and the girls whirled around Ranma and Ryouga in a
wild whirl of flowers and grass. 

One of the girls suddenly stumbled against Ranma in a
mass of golden hair and falling flower petals. 

�Whoops! Careful,� Ranma gently caught the girl�s
shoulder and helped her up. �Are you okay?� 

The girl straightened her flower tiara and peered up
at Ranma. �Yeah, thanks! I�m so sorry. This is my
first time. I�m such a klutz!� She grinned perkily up
at him, her large cornflower-blue eys twinkling. 

�Not a problem. That dance doesn�t look easy.� 

�It�s easy on the eyes, that�s for sure!� Ryouga
guffawed, watching the other girls as they swayed and
moved up to the front. �Good catch, Ranma. Now let me
try MY luck.� He moved off with a glint in his eye. 

The girl tried to stand straight and let out a gasp.
She grimaced down at her feet. 

�What happened?� Ranma asked. �Are you hurt?� 

�My foot hurts. Ouch! Oh, why am I so stupid? I needed
this job, too!� The girl hopped on one foot as she
tried to examine the other. 

�Here, allow me.� Ranma bent and picked up the small
foot, gently curving his strong fingers around it to
inspect the ankle. He brushed the ankle with his
thumb. It looked swollen but not very serious. �I
think you need medical attention, miss,� he said. 

�Azusa,� she said. �No, really, I�m fine. I just need
a drink.� 

�I�m Ranma. It�s the least I can do,� Ranma said. He
picked her up and walked to the bar, where he ordered
two beers. 

�Thanks,� Azusa said, smiling at Ranma as he took a
seat next to her at the bar. �It�s not often I�m that
clumsy, really. In fact, I�m usually quite�.� She
snuck a quick look at Ranma, who was listening
politely. She laughed wryly. �Well, that�s old news, I
suppose�.� She changed the subject. �How are you
enjoying your bachelor party?�  

Ranma shrugged. �It�s been fun so far, and I�m looking
forward to the rest.� 

�Bet you�re really looking forward to the wedding,
too!� Azusa said, taking a swig of her beer. �Yup,
Akane�s pretty special�.� Ranma began to talk about
how they met, laughing as he explained some of the
sillier things that had happened during their
courtship. Azusa watched him, drinking her beer. 

Eventually, Ranma ordered another beer for her and a
drink for himself. Some minutes later, the bartender
refreshed their drinks as Ranma continued to chat with
Azusa. 

The next morning, Ranma woke up in his apartment to
find the blonde in bed with him. They were both naked.
Ranma stared at the sweet curve of Azusa's shoulder as
she cuddled under the sheets. 

What in the world had happened? He needed someone
clear-headed to explain things. 

�Oh man!� he thought groggily. �Where's Nabiki when I
need her?� 

******************************************************

I�m just trying it out.  All comments are appreciated.

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