Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Thu, 13 Feb 2003 05:24:14 EST Starrngr@aol.com wrote:
Submitted for your commentary... Tales of the Wanderer, Book 3, Chapter 4.
Are you seeing any of my C&C? I keep getting bounce messages from
your service.
Like choosing to take me to a cursed training ground he
didn't really know anything about... or engaging me to two
different girls. That's probably the biggest thing that keeps
coming between me and Akane, too. We both hate having been
pushed into this by them! "I think I see what you mean,
{sensei : Sensei}. And it's not going to be easy, is it?"
"Considering you spent ten years on a training trip with
a person who considered the art more important that formal
schooling? It will be a challenge, Ranma. Anything {goes : Goes}
Catch-up."
"Of course you can, Baka. You're the great Ranma
Saotome... you always pull off whatever you claim, eventually.
To make up for ten years of poor schooling? Why, its {anything
goes : Anything Goes} catch up!"
You capitalized everything except 'goes' when Muck said it.
"Hey, Big {sister : Sister}, can we talk?" Akane's voice came from
the door. Nabiki gave her little sister a mock glare, but the
fact was that she wasn't really as busy with her accounts as
she was pretending to be.
Akane fidgeted on the bed for a second, and Nabiki
started to get impatient; but before Nabiki could snap at her
to 'spit it out', she did. "Did you... sell... information
about us to Typhoon {Gajin : Gaijin}?"
Nabiki blinked at that. She hadn't really meant to
mention that to Akane, it had sort of slipped out in her
irritation at that man. And now, Akane was looking at her
with... was that disappointment in her eyes? "Yes, I was
doing some... research into our very own Typhoon {Gajin : Gaijin}. But,
he caught my agent and then told me to stop digging or he'd
take an unhealthy... interest in my side businesses. But no,
I never sold any information about you or Ranma to him. And
after {this : that}, he wouldn't get any even if he wanted too."
Muck hummed a rather jovial tune to himself as he
wandered the Nerima market district. He'd gotten Ranma to
make at least one choice... to bring up his grades enough to
get into college if he so desired. The seed was planted, and
with a bit more nurturing he was certain that the tiny acorn
of self determination would grow into an oak mighty enough to
settle this whole fiancee thing once and for all! Once that
was done, he'd be able to get OUT of this constant disaster
just waiting to happen! Not even that pessimist FRED would be
able to argue with this one, so he'd treated himself to a
bottle (or five) of {Sake : sake}. It wasn't a good idea to drink on
an empty stomach, though, so here he was picking up a few
things to whip up for dinner as soon as he got home. Perhaps
it was a bit more time consuming doing one's shopping on a
daily basis, but not even a padlock would keep Yotsuya out of
his food supplies. Therefore, it was shop daily for dinner or
go hungry. At that moment, though, the street swayed
unsteadily under his feet... darn. A bit {to : too} much sake and not
enough food. He really should get something solid in his
stomach now, unless he wanted to embarrass himself by passing
out somewhere between here and the Maison...
Providence smiled at him as a pair of salarymen exited
the shop in front of him, chattering excitedly about the
quality of their meal. Oh yeah, keep him away from dice, the
Muckster was on a roll; nothing but lucky number 7's for him!
Fighting down the swooning of his inner ear, he pushed off
from the wall that he was leaning on without noticing and
strolled though the door of the shop; never bothering to look
up and see the sign above that read 'Cat {Caf� : Cafe}'. His bemused
detachment caused him not to really notice the {chineese : Chinese} boy
who seated him, either. But when a very familiar voice
suddenly piped up in his ear, THAT got his attention.
You haven't been using accented characters for fiancee and the
accented e doesn't display properly in some email clients.
"Great{ : -}Grandmother did. She very wise, no?" Shampoo
giggled in response, enjoying the stranger's discomfort.
"More like very strange," Muck murmured to himself before
agreeing with her. Once she left, he concentrated on his food
to further mask any outward signs of discomfort, fully
intending to make his escape as soon as possible. From what
he recalled, Cologne was very much the wise old woman three
steps ahead of everyone else. For her to know what he was
probably going to order was unsettling, but certainly seemed
probable. That left the even more unsettling question of why?
As far as anyone here should know, he was just another damn
{gajin : gaijin}! So why would a senior member of a very reclusive
people...
Cologne nodded to Muck once more as the refocusing of his
eyes indicated that his attention had returned to the outside
world instead of his memories. Nodding to the still confused
stranger, she hopped from her chair to her staff. "We will
speak again, {wanderer : Wanderer}... once you've had time to digest what
you've just learned. There is still much for you to know
about the icons you bear," Cologne informed him calmly before
using her staff to bounce back to the kitchen. Muck shook his
head in amazement before looking down and realizing that she'd
also swapped his empty bowl of ramen for his bill. As he
gathered his groceries and left, he half expected to see Rod
Sterling just outside the door; welcoming him to the Twilight
Zone, but it was the same street he'd wandered down in a less
sober state. Settling himself, he headed back to the train
station; if anyone could make sense out of this evenings
events, it would be FRED.
* * * * * * * *
Ranma lay on the roof of the Tendo home and stared up
into the slowly darkening sky. He wasn't about to admit it to
anyone, but once the initial flush of accepting his sensei's
challenge to bring up his grades had faded, he'd felt concern.
For all the references to {anything goes : Anything Goes} catch-up, he'd
accepted a challenge that really had little to do with the Art
itself. He'd spent eleven long years with only the occasional
periods of formal schooling; usually only when they'd been in
one place long enough for the truant officers to notice him
and {forced : force} Pops to enroll him. Could he make up for that
deficit? Would this be the challenge that finally defeated
the un-defeatable Ranma Saotome?
"And you think this might be {to : too} much for the mighty Ranma
Saotome?" Akane prompted after a long silence.
"Well... Umm... yeah. I mean... It's like... why are
you smiling like that?"
Akane gently shook her head before answering. "It's not
that important, Ranma. It's just I've never seen you act
so... human before. It's a nice change from Saotome of the
{incredible Ego : Incredible Ego : incredible ego}, that's all."
"No, with how to act like a girl. Of course with your
schoolwork!"
That first sentence could start a very dangerous conversation.
"By offering to tutor you in exchange for lessons in the
{art : Art}, you idiot!" Akane blurted between sobs. "But now it's
not going to happen because you went and made me mad at you
and you probably hate me again!"
I didn't mention it earlier when Akane used 'art' instead of 'Art',
but this time she's obviously thinking of it in the latter way.
"Oh Ranma!" Akane exulted, grabbing him with the intent
to hug him tightly. Unfortunately, in doing so, she
overbalanced them and the young couple tumbled from the roof.
Somehow, Ranma managed to twist them enough that he was on the
bottom when they slammed into the garden below. As if on cue,
Kasumi stuck her head out of the kitchen.
It looks like Muck's plan is working much better than he hoped.