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[fic][Ranma] Shampoo's Chance: Spirit of the Law
feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com
previous chapters may be found at
http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/ficaleb
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of
Takahashi-sama and various other entities. I'm just borrowing them
without permission. I promise to put them all back when I'm done...
except possibly for Shampoo:)
Chapter 7
By: Kaleb
"ACHOO!"
"Little drafty down there?"
"Shut up."
*HONK!*
*CRASH* *SMASH*
*SCHREEEECH* *CRUNCH* *WHEEOWHEEO*
"Wow. That's the third one so far. Ya know� I think the cop
wants _you_ to pull over. There's probably some ordinance against
biking downhill in a miniskirt, especially when you're not wearing any
panties."
"Shut up. Clunky cop car no follow into little alley. We losing
there," said Shampoo as she cut sharply across several lanes of traffic
into a narrow alleyway. "This first time wearing such skirt. Not
Shampoo fault stupid foreign dress billowing at every chance. Who
hell make this thing?!"
"Probably some sad lonely man."
"Stupid male pigs!"
"Speaking of which, it looks like that cop car is barely fitting in."
"Bad! But me fix," Shampoo said as she scanned the brick walls
cordoning the alley. Instantly identifying the weakest structural point,
Shampoo lashed out at it. Nabiki's eyes widened in shock as large
chunks of wall collapsed behind them, covering their escape.
"Whoa! You really are good."
"When you training for attack pressure points and nerve system
you learning be very precise aim. Mother always drilling into me for
recognize and attack weak points. Walls much easier than humans;
they no dodge."
"They're a lot bigger and solider though, aren't they?"
"Nah, mostly empty space, and have no will for holding form.
Nothing oppose when strike and no acknowledge they existing; lets
hand can go through like not there."
"Sorta a delusion for giving you enough confidence to do
something you'd never attempt if you were being sane and stopped to
think about it?"
"Nah, Shampoo say it quantum mechanic thingy."
"And who ever said quantum mechanics was sane?"
"� Suppose Nab-chan right there. But when get down really
small level, even what appearing smooth is having much asymmetry.
Stress no distribute evenly, always one point where most stress
converging, and that where hit."
"Sure, but we're talking microscopic lattices here, isn't it a little
hard to target those with something as big as your fingers?"
"Help to use ki. Focus it to itty bitty point match target."
"Almost sounds like you were trained in the bakentetsu."
"�.. Shampoo� never mastering that move. Did much improve
my aim and toughness."
"I'll say. If I didn't see you do it all the time I wouldn't believe it
myself. So just how good are you anyway?"
"Eh? Let take little breather," panted Shampoo as she pulled the
bike into another alleyway and brought it to a stop.
"Good idea. All that excitement left me a little short of breath
too," admitted Nabiki as she jumped off the bike. Reclining against
the wall, Nabiki pulled out a stick of Pocky and bit in. "So come on,
how good a fighter are you really? I've never seen you go all out
myself, but from the bits and pieces I've gathered you must have some
serious power. After all, you are the Champion of your people. You
don't get to be la creme de creme without talent."
"Hmph. Tourney fight much differ from real fight," shrugged
Shampoo as she leaned against her bike. Then she grimaced and lifted
up the hem of her new miniskirt, "*sigh* Stupid foreign dress so
embarrassing. Shampoo should have waited for clothes done
washing."
"Tell you what, if it'd make you more comfortable, I could loan
you my panties."
"W-what?!"
"Well, since I'm in jeans, I don't really need to worry about being
peeked at, while you on the other hand� Let's say as a fellow girl I
can sympathize with not wanting perverts peeking at your private
parts."
"Not that stop greedy girl charging rental fee, neh?"
"Only 750 yen, plus they'll be fresh off the butt."
"Like Shampoo care bout that! Still, suppose be less
embarrassing. Fine for Ranma see, and not too embarrassing with
other girls, but Shampoo detesting stupid strangers stare. Give
Shampoo creeps!"
"Kinda hard for them not too the way you were flashing it,"
chuckled Nabiki as she unzipped her jeans. Shampoo couldn't help
but stare a bit; Nabiki's taste in lingerie was quite� decadent. "It's
really your own fault for not thinking ahead."
"Yeah, yeah, Shampoo often not think ahead or considering
consequences. I knowing that already," grumbled Shampoo, blushing
slightly as Nabiki wiggled out of her pants.
"No need to be so modest. Honestly, would you say you're better
than Ranma?" asked Nabiki as she hooked her thumbs under her
waistband and pulled down her panties.
"Who know? Have yet for real fight," replied Shampoo, turning
away slightly from the half nude Nabiki.
"Fine. Be coy," Nabiki smirked as she tossed her panties to
Shampoo, letting them fall atop the amazon's head. "We'll know soon
enough. Ranma's ego won't let the matter stand undecided. About
what I figured; even though Ranma is incapable of "letting" someone
win, he might have been holding back against you at first, a fatal
mistake given what you can do when given an opening. A well placed
pressure point attack can quickly seal a match, neh?"
"Surprised Nab-chan able wear such fancy panties in same house
as little troll," said Shampoo as she removed Nabiki's lingerie from
her head.
"Happosai knows better than to mess with me, or Kasumi for that
matter," bragged Nabiki as she slipped back into her jeans. "Real
women can run circles around men so fast it looks like they're
standing still."
* * *
Happosai stumbled away from the TV in despair. The day had
started out so wonderful, but since he'd run into Ranma nothing had
gone right. He'd had such high expectations for his heir, but that
incompetent impotent idiot had shown an utter inability to perform. If
Shampoo hadn't beaten the tar out of him Happosai would have done
it just for principles sake. His sole consolation had been discovering
the Bikini Queens of the Beach Volleyball Championship playing on
TV, but now even that small solace was being denied a poor old man
by some stupid public announcement urging citizens to avoid
downtown traffic due to horrible congestion caused by multiple
pileups (Ironically, the rest of the report which played after Happosai
stopped paying attention would surely have been to his interest, and
also had the opposite of intended effect as droves of camera bearing
men recklessly rushed downtown).
His two other disciples momentarily stopped their game of Go to
eye their mumbling master warily. Strangely, something felt out of
place to Happosai, but that was strange in itself, for it was completely
de rigor for Sound and Genma to be wasting their time with that
frivolous game� wait a second!
"Genma! You worthless good for nothing, what the hell are you
still doing here!" screeched Happosai in alarm.
"Uh� well� you see� That list you had Kasumi give me?
There were a few questions I had about it master, and I didn't wish to
disturb you from your show you seemed to be enjoying so much
and�"
"Enough with your pathetic excuses, just what was so unclear
about it?!" snapped Happosai with impatience.
"Well, just one little thing really," explained Genma, "the
handwriting. I assure you that Soun and I labored long and hard to
decipher it, but alas, we unworthy disciples were not equal to the�"
"You probably gave it up after one glance."
"Well, what did the note say master?" asked Soun.
"Yes, tell us master, and with utmost haste we shall make good
upon its request," groveled Genma.
"'We', Saotome?'"
"The note said� um� it said� hm� I forgot. Let me see that
thing."
Genma took out the crumpled piece of paper and laid it on the
floor where all three could see it. "Oh right, now I remember," said
Happosai as he pointed to the big bold red kanji at the bottom. "It was
a warning. See, that first kanji says so."
"A warning?" said Genma nervously. "About what?"
"Don't rush me! I'm still working on this second word."
"Hey Saotome? Isn't that Ranma's name?" asked Soun.
"Why so it is Tendo. I'd recognize my own flesh and blood even
in the master's monstrous script�" Suddenly Genma's face went pale
and he pointed a trembling finger at the kanji in the middle of the
warning.
"Saotome? Is something wrong� oh, that looks a little bit like
Nodoka's name, doesn't it?"
"So we've got "warning"� "Ranma"� and "Nodoka","
summarized Happosai, who was still stumped on the second symbol.
Suddenly all three men froze in realization.
"GENMA!!"
and then vacated the room with startling speed, save for the one
unfortunate soul who found his gi pinned firmly to the floor by a
familiar and menacing katana.
*sigh* No, nothing seemed to be going right, thought Happosai
dejectedly. There was only one cure for this gloom; a good bosom
nuzzling. Besides, Ranma owed him big time for this morning.
* * *
"Besides, Ranma's so much funner to mess with," added Nabiki.
"You know, the way you added insult to injury back in the dojo was
just beautiful; implying that the kiss of marriage had been coldly
calculated to lead Ranma on just so you could get closer to female
Ranma. Course, he's probably a bit doubtful about that," admonished
Nabiki in a way that suggested he wasn't the only one.
"Heh. Nab-chan slipping," tsked Shampoo as she twirled the
girl's panties on her finger. "Better for Ranma doubt than having
certainty. Crushing certainty can let go of once accepting, but doubt
relentlessly plaguing. As long as worrisome possibility persisting, no
matter how remote Ranma finding, he no be able rest. "Could she be
better?" "Did she not love me?" Will gnaw at edge of Ranma
ceaselessly, driving slowly insane, like Chinese water torture. Drip.
Drip. Dri� Hey! These panties slightly wet!"
"Uh� heh, heh� guess things were just a bit _too_ exciting with
that close call around the second car wreck, neh?" laughed Nabiki
nervously, scratching at the back of her head. "Really, there's barely
anything there. I'm sure you won't even notice once they're on."
Suspicious, but stopping short of sniffing at the suspect stain,
Shampoo settled for giving Nabiki a derisive grunt as she slipped into
the silken undergarments. "Now see why greedy girl so hot give
adulterating goods to Shampoo."
"Now, now, I haven't been in business so long by dealing in cheap
ass products. Nabiki Tendo only delivers top quality goods and
services that you'll be hard pressed to find elsewhere. Admit it, they
feel quite nice, don't they," said Nabiki as she jumped back onto
Shampoo's bike.
"They is nice," admitted Shampoo, "but� is kinda weird too�"
"Weird?"
"Neverminding. Probably just cause first time wear nother girl's
panties� Let go," said Shampoo as she climbed back on her bike.
Still, she couldn't quite shake her slight self consciousness that she
was in someone else's panties. Perhaps it was that their exquisite style
reflected their owner's personality so well, or that their fresh warmth
seemed to convey her lingering presence. Whatever it was, Shampoo
didn't wish to delve any deeper into it.
"It's sure taking us awhile to get where we're going," noted
Nabiki as Shampoo began looking for a route back to the main road.
"Do you have any idea where you're going?"
"Course I do," said Shampoo too quickly, "Sometimes is just best
taking little back road detours."
"Uh huh. Aren't back road detours supposed to be a little, I don't
know, scenic?" said Nabiki distastefully as Shampoo swerved around
a passed out drunk and overflowing dumpster.
"Hey, you is having fun right? And as long as with Shampoo
have something worth time for watch," smirked the amazon. " 'Sides,
if have problem with route I take can be getting off anytime want."
"Nah, you're right, all in all I'm having fun. So�" began Nabiki
as they took off down a side street and she wrapped her arms around
Shampoo's waist, "now that you've dumped Ranma, what are you
planning?"
"Planning? I never planning," said Shampoo innocently.
"Forgive me, calling your style any less than plotting doesn't do
justice to its deviousness. But isn't it a little exciting now that your
romantic possibilities are wide open?"
"Seem be exciting Nab-chan more than Shampoo."
"I'll confess, your becoming available has made me quite
excited," whispered Nabiki as she leaned fully against Shampoo.
"H-hey�" gulped Shampoo, finding herself suddenly becoming
very aware of Nabiki's weight sinking into her back.
"Just thinking about it makes my blood boil," Nabiki whispered
temptingly into the amazon's crimson ear. "Do you know much the
guys would pay just for me to introduce them to you? And if I could
guarantee a date� ooh, it makes me feel all tingling inside. Of
course I'd give you a cut� not to mention the free meal and movie�"
"Wanna-be-pimp-girl this close get pounding."
"Whoa there girl, I'm just having fun with you. No need to take it
so seriously. If you don't feel like dating boys I can understand that;
perhaps you're not as over Ranma as you're pretending to be?"
"If greedy girl so hot for scam, how bout find own date for
milking dry?" replied Shampoo dryly.
"*sigh* Been there, done that. I used to date a lot, but now a
days�"
"Heh heh. No can get anymore, neh? Breaking one to many bank
account. That too rich! Suppose stupid males even learning after be
used enough," Shampoo laughed.
"Jeesh, I feel like I'm the only one opening up here, and all I'm
getting is made fun of," huffed Nabiki.
"Sure, like greedy girl actually interested in Shampoo," teased the
amazon. "You just wanting information for turn next profit. I
probably meaning much to greedy capitalist pig girl as other boys
whom squeezing dry then discard. Really expect anyone warming up
to that?"
"Would you give the greedy girl thing a rest already? You're
starting to piss me off Shampoo! And for your information smart ass,
I'm not a capitalist; though I suppose I should expect a commie's grasp
of economics to be majorly fucked up. The industrial age is giving
way to the information age, making information the most valuable
resource. Is there anything wrong with me looking to make a profit on
the side while having fun?!"
"Depend whether care if keeping others from trusting. Greedy
girl ever thinking bout anything else?"
"Than money? So I love it. But it's just a mean to an end; I don't
care about having it, what I love is the acquiring and using of it, both
of which give me fun and pleasure. The purpose of life is to pursue as
much pleasure as possible, and with money one can have whatever
one pleases."
"What bout love?" said Shampoo bitterly. "Could Shampoo have
bought Ranma heart?"
"Why would you want it?" Shampoo turned back angrily, ready
to let the Epicurean have it, but stopped short as she saw Nabiki
staring down at white lines zipping by on the road. "Who in their
right mind would waste money on love," whispered Nabiki.
"Did you know that in English the word for care is derived from
words for sorrow and lamentation? The more you care for something,
the more grief it will bring you. Look at yourself. What good did it
do you loving Ranma? All it did was end up hurting you. Yet you're
probably foolishly envying Akane. But look at how often Ranma
hurts her. He won't be a good bread winner either. All he can do is
martial arts, but he doesn't have the patience or the empathy to be a
good teacher. Some good having Ranma's love will do Akane,
saddling her with a weak wage earner. Then there's that father of his.
Thanks to youthful infatuation, or "love" for you romantics, Auntie
Saotome is stuck with that useless scoundrel." Shampoo was
surprised at the growing venom in Nabiki's voice. "And� and then
there's my Dad. After the accident� he completely fell apart. It was
all Kasumi could do to get him to eat enough to keep from starving.
He got so skeletal that I was afraid he was going to leave us too. For
months afterwards there'd be times where he'd just sit around staring
off into space�"
"Kinda like you doing right now?"
"Oh, you think you know everything, don't you smart ass! Well
then tell me this: what the hell good did love do any of you?! There
was no profit in it for you, only a loss, making it worth than worthless
in the end! You'd all be better off if you'd never loved in the first
place. You wouldn't have ended up so fucking hurt!"
"We here," announced Shampoo as she pulled to a stop in front of
the one hour photo. "But first�" taking Nabiki by the arm, she pulled
her and the bike into a nearby alleyway.
"W-what do you think you're doing?"
"Giving Nab-chan answer," said Shampoo as she pulled out a
bottle of 411 shampoo and started working it into Nabiki's hair. "Is
better not love so not get hurt, right? Purpose of life have pleasure
and avoiding pain? So best thing Shampoo can do for Nab-chan is
erasing memory of Mother, cause loved her, right? Now just relax
while Shampoo working pressure points, only take couple seconds."
"�DON"T YOU DARE!!" screamed Nabiki as she slapped
Shampoo away. Stumbling back from the amazon in horror, Nabiki
clutched at her shivering body as the full weight of what Shampoo had
been about to do hit her. "Don't you dare touch me!"
"Nab-chan no making sense. Thought said better to not love?
Suppose could just targeting all memories make you love her."
"�! That'd be the same thing moron! When you love somebody
you love everything about them, all the time you had together, even
their faults and the bad times, because without those they wouldn't be
who they were! Stay the hell away from me!"
"Nab-chan irrational. Contradict self. This help bring back
calculating sense," said Shampoo as she pulled out a green and white
comb, offering it to Nabiki. "Is solid jade engrave with pure mother-
of-pearl. Will trade for Nab-chan memory."
"W-why� why are� you doing this?!" said Nabiki as she began
hyperventilating.
"Just want help Nab-chan. Why holding on worse than worthless
memories which cause pain, especially when could have this and get
much money for get much pleasure?"
"Because� because�" whimpered Nabiki as she collapsed to her
knees.
"� But Nab-chan won't sell, will she? Wouldn't matter what
offer, would it? All logic analysis turn out load of crap when push
come shove. Goddess, intellectual cynics is always so pathetic in
end� Ya know, Nab-chan lucky have mostly lovely mother
memories, I don't� but still no would give up�"
"Here. Take these into the shop," ordered Nabiki, looking away
as she thrust a canister of film at the amazon.
"Shampoo understand," said the amazon sympathetically as she
took the film, leaving Nabiki alone with herself for awhile.
Still, her sympathy, and renewed respect for the other girl's pride,
wasn't going to prevent her from needling Nabiki. "Ground slightly
wet," noted Shampoo as she returned from dropping off the film,
"Nab-chan have another little "piss" ?"
"Piss off, smart ass," said Nabiki with a smirk as she stood back
up. "Hey, Shampoo�"
"Hai?"
"You want to grab a drink while we're waiting for that film?"
Asked Nabiki as she headed out of the alleyway. Looking back over
her shoulder she added with a wink, "My treat."
End of Chapter 7
To be continued�
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