----- Original Message -----
From: <tabyk@attbi.com>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Monday, January 27, 2003 6:31 AM
Subject: [FFML] [Ranma] Diary of a Mature Child: Entry #2

August 19th, 1986

     "Ranma came today for his first lessons with Father, which
in turn included a sparring match with Akane.  I fear, however,
that that match will forever haunt my little sister's memory, as
well as my own..."

KP:  With a lead in like this, I hope you deliver.

     P.S.: Might end up rewriting this one, since I think I fell
into the "give Akane a serious anger issue" trap...

KP:  depends on how closely you want to follow canon and how you perceive
said canon.

     * * * * * * * * * *               * >
     She had thrown a screaming fit when Father had announced to
both her and Nabiki that he had decided to take on another
student, especially in light of the fact that he had neglected
her own training as of late.  It had taken agreeing to teach them
both that had finally quieted her down.  Of course, it was then
that he'd also come up with... the idea.

KP:  This is two years before canon started if I remember.  I'd only ask
yourself what you think the characters were like before the series started.
We don't know why Kuno started the challenge, so who's to say she wasn't
already overly agressive and hostile before that.  He refered to her as a
'fierce tigress' for some reason.  Maybe she actually mellowed after Ranma
arrived.  Also, Akane is constantly shown to have a chip on her shoulder and
fight for what she considers the right cause.  Also, her first meeting with
Tofu, he asked something about not seeing her for a while, and she stammered
about not doing anything to get herself hurt, lately.  I wonder on occasion
why she visited tofu so often than stopped.  All the pop psychologist on the
list can say what they want.  The question is what do you think, and what do
you want to show.

     Moving with an almost casual ease, Ranma stepped and ducked
around her, constantly moving just fast enough, just far enough,
that she kept missing him.  It was the most amazing thing I'd
ever seen.  And after nearly of minute of it, Akane practically
screamed in frustration before grabbing a small hand weight from
the dojo wall and throwing it at him.

     No longer dodging Ranma turned and bore down on my sister,

KP:  dodging, Ranma

     Sidestepping a desperate forward lunge, the boy lashed out
with a powerful side kick that hit her right above the kidney,
literally picking her up and tossing her a couple feet through
the air, where she then hit, face first, into one of surrounding
walls.  After a moment of her whole body being held there as the
kinetic energy was bled off of her, she slowly crumpled to the
floor.

     I was so shocked at the brutal display it took Father's
voice to snap me out of it.

KP:  Kasumi's never seen a fight before?

Very short again, so I really have very little to say.  I'd try and lengthen
them, or have multiple diary entry's released at one time.  Personally, I
think Akane was a tad excessive in her anger, not her actions.  I see her
being upset about Father taking on a new student after neglecting other
students, herself especailly.  I really don't see her having a big yelling
match.  Maybe a raised voice.  But like I said, pre-cannon is your domain.
Ja



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