Michael A Chase wrote:
Suggested changes: {before : after}
You misspelled Hina in the subject.
A testament to my writing quality.
Phear it.
On Thu, 30 Jan 2003 02:05:28 -0800 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
wrote:
I'm taking another stab at correctly word-wrapping my FFML posts
without extending the lines with tabs. *prays*
Looks ok.
Really? Looked MUNGED on my end. Hey, no complaints if it worked, then.
Finally, Ranma straightened up, turned to face Motoko, and said, "I
think I pulled something," before collapsing flat on his face.
Interesting that even Motoko is surprised.
I figure no one saw it coming.
"I ain't dead," Ranma pronounced, spitting out a mouthful of dirt and
sitting up, {eyeing : eying} Suu suspiciously. She merely offered him an innocent
smile. Shaking his head, he turned back to Motoko. "I think I'm gettin'
the idea here, though," he said slowly, wincing as Suu prodded his side.
The idea of being dead?
Hmm.
http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary
Both spellings appear to be valid. For consistancy, I'll use the one
that's been in the last few chapters already.
Ranma's left eyebrow ticked again, stopping only when Suu leaned over
him to examine his face closely, incidentally obscuring his view of
Motoko. When Ranma calmed, {she : he} offered an impish smile, and straightened
up. "Alright, I think a demonstration is in order, here. Kanrinin, would
you be willing to lend a hand?" he asked, turning to Keitaro.
No, Suu is a girl.
"A demonstration," he replied, explaining the rules again for her
benefit {quickly :}.
If you really want 'quickly' somewhere, I think it would go better
before 'explaining'.
Is better just to drop it, as you suggested.
Keitaro hesitantly opened one eye from his prone position, Motoko
collapsed near him. "I'm not dead?" he asked hesitantly, sitting up and
looking at Motoko nervously.
With all the knocking around he gets from Matoko and Naru, I think
he'd realize by now just how durable he is.
The others realize it more readily than him, until much later. (Naru:
Are you one of the undead?
Naru: It won't kill you, this is YOU, after all!
Mitsune: I'm not like Keitaro! I'll die!
And then much later:
Keitaro: Hey, this is nothing for me, but you need to be careful.)
"Ranmas are clever," Suu warned suddenly. "They can come up with many
tricks."
But are they delicious?
I think KP knows the answer to that one.
"It'd be a great idea," Ranma assured him. "You picked up what I told
you to {: do} better than I thought you would -- I thought you'd just hit her
at the same time she hit you -- and learning has other benefits, too.
It'll improve your balance, your physical conditioning, and your
coordination."
Got it.
After seeing the scattered hesitant nods, Ranma grinned again, and
leapt away, joining with the construction {crews : crew}.
If I delete any comments, it's because I used it.
Naru should be... intrigued... the first time she throws a punch and
he flows out of her way.
Took me a while to realize you meant Keitaro, not Ranma.
Of course, the only way any male can dodge a female is by not being at
fault.
Naru tends not to attack if she's going to miss, either.
"Not again," Ranma groaned, smacking his forehead.
I guess Shinobu didn't get the word from the double date.
Nope!
Ukyou nodded slowly, then announced, "I approve! As Ranchan's former
fiancee, I give you permission to be his new fiancee!"
Shouldn't she be waving a fan too?
Hmm. Nah....
"Not if I can help it," he said dryly. "I'm going to do the dishes, and
then use the hot {springs : spring}." He paused for a moment, surveying the other
tenants to assure that they understood what he meant, and that they
wouldn't walk in on him.
Again.
It could happen.
"I can only guess," she admitted. "Listen, sugar... I... have to decide
where I'm going to set up shop for my father. He wants me to pick a spot
around here, since okonomiyaki appeals to the college crowd, and it's
kinda close to {Todai : Toudai}." She bit her lip, staring at the papers. "I...
don't know if that'd be a great idea, though... so I think I'm going to
pick a spot near the college... but not so close as I'll be in your
way." She winked at him. "Still close enough you can drop by if you want
someone to talk to, though. Sound good?"
Ack! Now I have to revise all the earlier chapters, again.
Ranma hopped back up, and examined it. "It's a few centimeters too
long," he said, {eyeing : eying} the old support, and the length of the new {segment : piece}.
Alrighty!
Thanks for taking the time to comment. ^_^