Suggested changes: {before : after}
You misspelled Hina in the subject.
On Thu, 30 Jan 2003 02:05:28 -0800 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
wrote:
I'm taking another stab at correctly word-wrapping my FFML posts
without extending the lines with tabs. *prays*
Looks ok.
Finally, Ranma straightened up, turned to face Motoko, and said, "I
think I pulled something," before collapsing flat on his face.
Interesting that even Motoko is surprised.
"I ain't dead," Ranma pronounced, spitting out a mouthful of dirt and
sitting up, {eyeing : eying} Suu suspiciously. She merely offered him an innocent
smile. Shaking his head, he turned back to Motoko. "I think I'm gettin'
the idea here, though," he said slowly, wincing as Suu prodded his side.
The idea of being dead?
Ranma's left eyebrow ticked again, stopping only when Suu leaned over
him to examine his face closely, incidentally obscuring his view of
Motoko. When Ranma calmed, {she : he} offered an impish smile, and straightened
up. "Alright, I think a demonstration is in order, here. Kanrinin, would
you be willing to lend a hand?" he asked, turning to Keitaro.
"A demonstration," he replied, explaining the rules again for her
benefit {quickly :}.
If you really want 'quickly' somewhere, I think it would go better
before 'explaining'.
Keitaro hesitantly opened one eye from his prone position, Motoko
collapsed near him. "I'm not dead?" he asked hesitantly, sitting up and
looking at Motoko nervously.
With all the knocking around he gets from Matoko and Naru, I think
he'd realize by now just how durable he is.
"Ranmas are clever," Suu warned suddenly. "They can come up with many
tricks."
But are they delicious?
"It'd be a great idea," Ranma assured him. "You picked up what I told
you to {: do} better than I thought you would -- I thought you'd just hit her
at the same time she hit you -- and learning has other benefits, too.
It'll improve your balance, your physical conditioning, and your
coordination."
After seeing the scattered hesitant nods, Ranma grinned again, and
leapt away, joining with the construction {crews : crew}.
Mitsune reminded him -- in many ways -- of Nabiki, but at the same,
seemed less mercenary... and sometimes more devious. The manager of the
inn was easy to get along with, and showed a surprising aptitude {to
learn : for} martial arts. Enough so that Ranma had asked if he'd had formal
training before. Keitaro explained that he hadn't, but the things that
had happened at the inn before he began training probably already honed
his reflexes. Not sure what else to teach, Ranma had begun demonstrating
Tai Chi to him.
Naru should be... intrigued... the first time she throws a punch and
he flows out of her way.
He shook his head, banishing the distractions. Training would need to
take a back seat to studying for the exams{, :} soon, though he wouldn't
drop it entirely. For the moment, however, he had work to do. "So," he
said, turning to one of the identical-looking members of the
construction crew, "we just need to get the water heater into place, all
of the rest of the plumbing is ready?"
The construction crew raised their fists into the air as one, and
cheered loudly, then trooped off {of :} the property, Ranma following them
to the bottom of the stairs. Taiso paused there, turning to face him,
and said, "Good work, kid. I underestimated you."
"Not his best side," the girl observed, {eyeing : eying} the spatula critically.
She turned her eyes to Shinobu, and frowned. "Who am I? Who am I? I'll
tell you who I am, I'm--"
"Ah!" Shinobu exclaimed. "So that's why you became gay!"
A moment of absolute silence took hold of the small clearing, Ukyou
blinking, then taking a half-step back, and {eyeing : eying} Ranma up and down
before it passed.
"Not again," Ranma groaned, smacking his forehead.
I guess Shinobu didn't get the word from the double date.
"Hmm," Ukyou mused. "I wasn't hunting you down, Ranma. I was just
passing through the area, and heard someone mention you. So... I've got
my revenge." She hefted the spatula, {eyeing : eying} the likeness impressed into
its surface. "Should make my dad happy, anyway. And... what he doesn't
know doesn't hurt him."
Ukyou winked at her in response, then asked, "So, who else didja meet?
{Kuno : Kunou}?"
If you're ending Ukyou with ou, Kunou probably should be too.
Ukyou nodded slowly, then announced, "I approve! As Ranchan's former
fiancee, I give you permission to be his new fiancee!"
Shouldn't she be waving a fan too?
"Not if I can help it," he said dryly. "I'm going to do the dishes, and
then use the hot {springs : spring}." He paused for a moment, surveying the other
tenants to assure that they understood what he meant, and that they
wouldn't walk in on him.
Again.
Once he had finished the dishes, Keitaro sighed, glancing behind him.
All of the girls were gone{, :} once the meal was over, but that wasn't what
concerned him at the moment... what worried him was the construction
crew. He knew that Ranma was strong, fast, and a good martial artist. He
wasn't, however, certain that it would be a good idea for Ranma to
confront the construction workers alone.
"Which other guy?" Ukyou prompted. "{Kuno : Kunou}? Ryouga?"
Ranma shifted his shoulders uncomfortably, and stared at his teacup.
Ukyou had come by to visit him, and he'd wanted to talk with her. On a
hunch, he'd gone to Haruka's teashop, suspecting that the woman was more
{easily than :} capable of thwarting eavesdroppers than the manager of
another teashop might be. It was also much cheaper, but that was
incidental. "Maybe," he finally admitted, straightening up and smiling
faintly. "I don't feel that different."
Ukyou perched atop the wall, surveying the ruined remnants of the dojo.
The building looked as though it had been struck with explosives; ruined
and shattered timbers were scattered across the yard in a senseless
jumble. The house itself was relatively undamaged, only the covered
walkway that had led from the dojo to the house {: was} crumpled onto the ground.
"I can only guess," she admitted. "Listen, sugar... I... have to decide
where I'm going to set up shop for my father. He wants me to pick a spot
around here, since okonomiyaki appeals to the college crowd, and it's
kinda close to {Todai : Toudai}." She bit her lip, staring at the papers. "I...
don't know if that'd be a great idea, though... so I think I'm going to
pick a spot near the college... but not so close as I'll be in your
way." She winked at him. "Still close enough you can drop by if you want
someone to talk to, though. Sound good?"
Eventually, it changed, and Ranma said something, stepping through {toe : the}
crowd to stand before Taiso. "Oe says he has issues he wants to discuss
with Taiso," Motoko murmured, furrowing her brow.
Motoko had abandoned her {pretences : pretenses} and was leaning over the railing to
get a closer look. "Taiso is now asking Oe what the terms of his
challenge are," she said quietly.
Ranma hopped back up, and examined it. "It's a few centimeters too
long," he said, {eyeing : eying} the old support, and the length of the new {segment : piece}.