<EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!>
whew, I feel better now.
Ummmmm . . . Due to RL i haven't been getting much sleep lately, so
i'm probably slipping into a sleep-depravation psychosis. Be aware
of that since I'm about to jump up and down on this outline. In a
GOOD way. ^_+
<Cue Music> Martimas Time (Andy Irvine, De Danann, Best of the Irish Folk
Festival, Disc 2)
"Cute Kitsune Kaydee" <fox1@colla.com> wrote:
Disclaimer : I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the Sword Dancer Series.
@@1)Give proper credit by NAME
2) don't use American/European copyrighted stuff. NO sense of humor about
fanfiction (with a VERY few exceptions) The Japanese and their NA disto
however seem to look on it as free advertising (at least that's the impression i got from
VIZ when i talked to them a long while back)
@@@@
Prologue
Ranma was depressed and miserable. Here he was stuck in the body of a
five year old. And all the mushrooms that could restore him to his true age
were destroyed. He wasn't alone in this. Sitting by him were a five year old
Ryoga and a five year old Mousse. Mousse was busy cursing Akane. Ryoga was
yelling that it was all Ranma's fault and not Akane Tendo's. Ranma was
wondering why Kasumi had let Akane cook those mushrooms and burn them up
into little pieces of fine powdery gray ash. Kasumi had to have known that
Akane would goof it up but she had let her anyway.
<Cue Music> Black Water (Suicide) by Leslie Fish
@@Of course, the ONLY reason there were ANY mushrooms left
to cook in the first place was because Akane hid some before
Ryouga and Ranma could destroy them all. Plus, they're not extinct.
Ranam & co. just have to go find some more.
@@@@
Ranma got up and left the two other kids in the house and went to where
Kasumi was alone in the kitchen. Ranma looked at her and then asked, "Why?"
Kasumi turned to look at him and instead of pretending not to understand
him she said, "Because this way you can't marry Akane or any of us and
things will finally stop being so chaotic."
Ranma just stared at her. He had hoped she wouldn't know what he was
asking her. Now that she had confirmed her treachery he felt even worse.
"You betrayed me Kasumi.", he said.
"Yes I did Ranma.", she said in a cold voice. "Did you really think I
would let someone like you marry into our family?!", she said with a hateful
sneer. "Be glad that you are still alive."
Ranma just couldn't believe this was her and asked, "What happened to
you Kasumi?! You used to be so nice , and kind , and caring. Why have you
done this?"
"The stupid , silly , air-headed Kasumi is just a mask I wear. I'm
really a cruel, mean, evil bitch. Ever since you came hear you have caused
nothing but chaos and I take great pleasure in causing some of it to you
now.", she said in a hateful cruel voice.
@@<cue Music> Getting in touch with my Inner Bitch by Christine Lavin
1)Bad Guys rarely _think_ of themselves as bad guys. They don't just get up in the
morning and think "what evil can i do today?"
2)Why go to the trouble of using the aging mushroom? Why not just some rat poison
in the Miso? Or a mistake preparing the Fugu? Or drop the radio in the furo? The "I
take great pleasure in causing some of it to you now." is a _start_ toward justification,
but this really needs a LOT more detail to flesh out this particular characterization.
@@@@
"What about Ryoga and Mousse? You trapped them as kids too? If your beef
was with me why did you do this to them?", he asked.
"Ryoga and Mousse were caught in the crossfire. A sad but true thing.
Sometimes sacrifices must be made
@@<Cue Music> Haruka's Misfortune, Uranus Dance Mix, Moon Revenge
and many MANY other Sailor Moon songs. ^_* The truth is out. Sailor Pluto -->>
Kasumi. I KNEW it! <shameless plug for Furies. ^_+)
HOW do you catch someone in a 'cross fire' with mushrooms?
All Kasumi had to do was 'save' enough mushrooms for Ryouga
and Mousse to be restored.(And why was Mousse eating them in the first place?)
@@@@
and I felt it was fine to sacrifice them
@@
<cue Mickey Mouse Theme>
Kasumi is Insane
Kasumi is Insane
Who's the bitch that's into pain?
Which nice girl is really Insane?
K A S . . . .UMI . . .TENDOU!
Who'll Stab them, Shoot them, Kill them
And always makes sure they suffer pain?
K A S . . . .UMI . . .TENDOU!
@@ Oy! what are YOU looking at? You want I should have
used "Lamb Chop's Play Along"?
@@@@
to get to you. Besides they caused a lot of chaos around here too. I'm glad
that they are gone as well now.", she said.
@@
MOUSSE & RYOUGA: "We're not gone! Just very small!"
NABIKI: "And incontinent."
MOUSSE & RYOUGA: "WAAAAAAAAAA!"
AKANE: "Don't cry, I have some talcum."
MOUSSE & RYOUGA: <SHRIEK!>
NABIKI:<reading> "Cyan pepper."
@@@@
Ranma just shook his head. He had been wrong all along. Kasumi wasn't an
angel, she's a demon.
@@
Call 1-888-666-EVIL NOW for information on exciting new job opportunities
as an Evil Minion. This is a FREE call. No demons will call. <offer void in
Washington, DC,; Berkeley, CA and Concord, Mass.>
@@@@
Ranma turned and fled from the kitchen. He found Ryoga and Mousse. They
were about to attack him when he told them to wait and pulled out a tape
recorder.
"What's that Saotome?", they both asked.
@@ It's an unjustified plot device. But that's not important now.
@@@@
"It's something I learned from Nabiki, always tape your conversations.",
he replied.
@@
NABIKI:<wearing a stylish pearlsheen blue latex bolero jacket and red split latex skirt
with matching penis-gag-mask and armbinders> "Duct tape, you idiot!"
@@@@
Then he played back the tape of his meeting with Kasumi.
Ryoga and Mousse were both shocked. They just stood there with stunned
expression on their faces.
@@As opposed to stunned expression on their . . .???
@@@@
"Kasumi has to die saotome.", said Ryoga.
"Kasumi dies today.", said Mousse.
@@
KASUMI:<holding a Barrett .50BMG.> "This is a ludicrously overpowered, custom
made gas-operated pistol firing from a closed bolt, using armor-piercing cartridges
originally designed to kill WWI tanks. It's the most powerful handgun in this world
and several parallel universes and the muzzle blast alone would vaporize your head like
a grape sucked into an F-16 engine. If you were actually hit by round, it would
explode your guts like a stick of dynamite in a sack of kittens. The question you've got
to ask yourself, is do you feel lucky . . .HEY! Get back here. I'm not finished talking!"
RANMA & CO. "Send an e-mail!"
@@@@
<<stuff i plan to put here sometime : The three confront Kasumi in front of
the Tendo and others at dinner and she denies it. Ranma plays the tape.
Kasumi goes ballistic and attacks with a naginta.
@@<Cue Music> The Swordsman by Michael Longcor
@@
AKANE: <helping set the table> "I never can remember, do Naginata go next to the
dessert fork or by the butter knife?"
@@@@
Nabiki gets in the way and
she kills her.
@@NABIKI: "DIE spawn of Satan!"
KASUMI: "Ummm, I think _you_ die."
NABIKI: "I'm taking advantage of ambiguity."
SOUN; "I'm so proud. My baby is now a true martial artist."
@@@@
Kasumi is quite insane and kills most of the people there.
@@KASUMI: "DIE! DIE! DI. . . errrr . . . where did every body go?"
MOST-of-the-PEOPLE:<running like hell away> "Ranma, we leave it up to you."
RANMA: "HEY!"
@@@@
@@
1)Naginata is NOT a concealed weapon, being rather long and sharp and shiny.
I _think_ someone might notice it if she's got it at the table.
2)Naginata NOT the best choice for fighting indoors. Kind of gets tangled up in walls
and ceiling and stuff.
3)Most of the people? Not Ranma & co. You need them for the rest of your story.
Genma and Souun were out the door and on a plane to Australia before Kasumi got
the blade unsheathed. Nabiki? She sold them the tickets, then stuck around to take
bets on the outcome. (At a safe distance.) That leaves Akane. Akane died. Akane is
most of the people. (AKANE: Are you saying I'm FAT!")
But even Nabiki could probably take a Naginata away from Kasumi INSIDE the
house. Naginata needs room to maneuver. Two daggers or short swords make more
sense inside the house and at the dinner table.
@@@@
Ranma has no choice and kills Kasumi.
@@Real world, probably true. You do NOT fool around with someone with a knife.
BUT, Naginata INDOORS? Even a 5 year old Ranma could probably disarm Kasumi.
And Akane could take a Naginata away from Kasumi _inside_ the house while eating
dinner. Naginata is just too unwieldy to maneuver quickly in close quarters. And
Kasumi would pretty much be stuck in place, if she moves too much, she runs her
blade into a wall. (You're talking about a weapon that's almost *7 feet* long,
including about 1 foot of curved steel blade) Even katana is too long. That's one
reason Samurai had TWO swords. The shorter(Wakizashi) was for indoor work.
FYI link to the Tendo Ryuu Naginata page:
http://www.naginata.org/shingetsukai/shingetsukai.html
@@@@
Ranma then goes over to where Akane is
laying in a pool of her own blood where Kasumi stabbed her.
@@you don't stab with Naginata. Naginata has curved blade, Sweeping cuts.
Lop off heads, arms, legs. Slash open belly. But not much stabbing. For that you want
yari or straight spear.
@@@@
Ranma holds her
close and she looks at him with love and says she is sorry they didn't get a
chance to be together, that she loves him, and she wanted marriage.
@@
AKANE: <whispering> "R . . .ranma? w . . .would you do something?"
RANMA<sobbing> "Anything!"
AKANE: "Put pressure on the wound and call me a friggin' AMBULANCE!"
RANMA: "You're an ambulance?"
DEAD KASUMI: "And people wonder why I hate him?"
@@@@
dies. He howls his grief to the sky
@@NEIGHBORS: "Would you get that damn dog FIXED!"
@@@@
and then his emotions shut off. He walks
up the stairs and finds Genma's dead body on the stairwell
@@Genma couldn't escape from a naginata on a stairwell?
Try walking upstairs carrying a 7 foot pole. (Go to LOWES or some other
building supply store) Then try it again, with someone waiting at the top of
the stairs - - waiting to take it away from you.
7 foot long weapon in a space about three feet wide? Now, perhaps
Kasumi cut them elsewhere and they just happened to bleed to death on the
stairs . . .???
Naginata has got a lot of the same problems the Swiss Pike has. You need room to
maneuver and you've got to keep the blade moving. If you stop, you're vulnerable,
due to inertia. (Take time to get the blade moving or change directions)
@@@@
then goes up and
finds Nodoka bleeding her last onto the stairwell landing.
@@Ummmm . . .that's at the bottom. He would have found Nodoka first. Unless he
went outside, then came in through an upstairs window.
@@@@
She looks at him
and tells him she loves him, and then gives him the saotome honor blade
asking him to master it and to protect their clans honor now.
@@RANMA: "Errrr . . .what were you doing here mom? You've got your own place.
NODOKA: "Plot device. Now shut up and emote."
Then she dies
before him. Ranma takes the sword and walks numbly up the hallway to
happosai's room
@@And where IS Happi all this time?
@@@@
and enters. Ryoga and Mousse follow behind Ranma.
@@MOUSSE: "Hey, don't involve me in this. I only care about Shampoo!
SHAMPOO: "Ohhhh . . . Let's play doctor."
MOUSSE: <sigh> "Life is wonderful."
SHAMPOO: "Now . . . where Shampoo put Little Golden Book of Home
Circumcision?"
MOUSSE: "A little trip through time sounds lovely."
@@@@
Ranma
takes the broken nan-ban mirror and lets a tear fall then wishes that they
were at a time before any of this happened.
@@AKANE: "What about that damn ambulance you moron?!"
@@@@
Ranma and Ryoga and Mousse are
sucked into the time-vortex-thing and experience great pain as the broken
mirror malfunctions and then are on a grassy field and pass out.
@@MOUSE: "I may be a time-lost, species-changing, age-challenged, pain wracked
martial artist," pulls open pants for a quick equipment check "but at least my heat-
seeking-moisture-missile is still go for launch!"
@@@@
They later
wake up when they hear noises coming from a little ways off. They go to see
what is happening and see a bandit gang trying to rape some young girls.
@@RANMA: "What are the odds we would be thrust randomly through a broken
nan-ban mirror and just happen to end up with in screaming distance of a rape-in-
progress?
MR. SPOCK: "About the same as getting a Royal Fizbin, I would imagine."
@@@@
They look at each, nod, and proceed to fight the bandit gang. They dispatch
(knock-out not kill)
@@DEAD KASUMI: "Geee, don't I feel special."
@@@@
<SNIP>
1) you don't NEED insane Kasumi or Naginata fight. If you WANT an insane Kasumi
to start the story, you certainly don't need the naginata. All you REALLY need is a
situation of grief. House fire, earth quake, tsunami, typhoon, etc. are suitable for mass
killing of Tendou & Saotome families. In fact, earthquake would do to kill off
Shampoo and Cologne, which would explain why Mousse is involved.
Could also use natural disaster to open rift in time/space as well.
2)Just to avoid any potential problems, I'd skip Sword Dancer references. Not needed
and there's no copyright on the concept of wandering swords-for-hire. ^_*
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