Thank you for your comments and finding some of my errors. >>Akane bowed
onceher father took away his hands from her >>shoulders like he did for her
older sister. With the >>presentation complete they all sat around the low
table. As >>soon as everyone was seated, Ranma was the first to speak. >>>>"
So, your all came from Nerima? " >>you all >>And, damn, that's a stupid
question. Me I think Ranma >would be more likely to open up with a question
like >"So, do ya both do martial arts?"
Good point there, but the only problem with yours is:
The Tendou engagement is about uniting the two school of Anything
goes. Most people would expect that both of them are martial artist.
Although, in this case most people would be wrong.
** I take that you are refering to Akane and Nabiki by "both", correct?
Nabiki answered his question before their father could. >>>>" It would
seem so, we came here by bus. How did you get >>here Mano-san " >>A stupid
question deserves a stupid answer.
By that "stupid" question, I wanted the subjet of the attacks to came
up.It does the job, but you're right, the question is pretty lame and it
feels out of place.
Akane noticed that Nabiki was giving Yohko her �tell me >>what I want to
know� look. She, herself, had been on the >>receiving end of that look, but
she could find the reason why >>her sister used it now. She normally uses it
only when someone >>has what she desire. >>She normally only used when
someone had what Nabiki wanted. >>>>>" I used the train to get here... and
please call me Yohko " >>The conversation positively scintillates!
.........................> >" Although, I believe that she should leave that
to the >>Senshi or some other group specialised in fighting demons. "
Nabiki�s last few words had the reverse effect. She made >>Sounds more
like something Souun would say. Too humourless and >stuffy for Nabiki.
I will try to fix that.
Akane, Nabiki and their father looked at Ranma as he grew >>a second head.
Really? He grew a second head?
Well, I always thought that two head are better than one, but in this case:
Akane, Nabiki and their father looked at Ranma as _if_ he grew a second
head.
" Not really, my grandmother taught me everything I know >>about
fightingfrom unarmed combat to sword fighting. " >>Not really true. The Mano
family have their own familial >martial arts style.
You're probably right.
Akane was sure she could improve up to the point where >>she could beat
demons without breaking a sweat; she just >>needed more training. After all,
if a boy could do it she >>could do it too! >>>>" Akane! The training of a
devil hunter must be very >>different from what I trained you, isn�t
Mano-san? " >>Soun is responding as though she said something out loud.
Seem like I will have to fix that too or else I will have to make Soun a
telepath... not a bad idea, but I think I will fix it.
" My Queen, the sole reason why the demon did not eliminate >>them was
that I ordered them not to. " >>Well...no. There's also them not being tough
enough.
Like they will ever let something like that stop them.
Thank again for your comments. One last thing, neither of the two replies
Ireceive said if they were willing to pre-read my stories so do I have to
take it you're not interested?
Micronime www.geocities.com/micronime[1]
P.S. : I am not an affiliate of Microsoft.
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