An Angelic Layer fic!  First one of those I've seen.

What you have seems quite interesting, and I'd like to see more, though it's obvious that you're more familiar with the series than I.  I've read first four volumes of the manga, so have encountered Oujirou and Wizard, but haven't seen the outcome of their battle with Misaki and Hikaru.  (Is it too much to ask for them to the entirety of a battle in the same volume?  No, they have to use the second half of one battle and then the first half of the next.)

Technically, I didn't notice any grammar mistakes, but didn't go through specifically looking for them.  Spelling I can not help you with.

Looking forward to the next chapter, whenever you have it ready.

Defender of the Light
Elite Mage
junior member of the Inner Circle of the Mages Council

Contrary to popular opinion, magic and science do mix.

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