Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma] Diary of a Mature Child: Entry #2
From: Michael A Chase
Date: 1/27/2003, 8:05 AM
To: ffml@anifics.com, tabyk@attbi.com


Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Mon, 27 Jan 2003 11:31:50 +0000 tabyk@attbi.com wrote:

     No longer dodging{: ,} Ranma turned and {bore down on : closed with} my sister, 
his arms weaving a furious offensive against her, and for a split 
second I saw a moment of pure panic in her eyes.  A few seconds 
after that, it was over.

Akane 'bore down on' Ranma earlier.

     Sidestepping a desperate forward lunge, the boy lashed out 
with a powerful side kick that hit her right above the kidney, 
literally picking her up and tossing her a couple feet through 
the {air, where she then hit : air.  She then slammed}, face first, into one of surrounding 
walls.  After a moment of her whole body being held there as the 
kinetic energy {was bled off of her : bled off}, she slowly crumpled to the 
floor.

     Her face had several minor cuts, though the quick 
application of a wet cloth confirmed that they were minor at 
{best : most : worst}.  Her arms and left side, however, were going to be heavily 
bruised for several days.  At least.  I began to wonder if a trip 
to Doctor Tofu might be necessary.  It was then that I noticed 
the look on Akane's face, and pulling her against me I let her 
cry, her sobs shaking her as the shock and adrenalin {raked : racked} her 
body.

     And through it all I kept wonder, 'Why hadn't Father stopped 
it?  What had he been thinking?'

If it took less than 10 seconds, it would be difficult to stop it
after he let Ranma start attacking.

     I glanced towards the dojo and said, "You had to {have seen : see}
it, Nabiki."  Then shaking my head, "She didn't stand a chance.  
Ten seconds... it took less then 10 seconds before he'd beaten 
her unconscious."

     And then in a whisper I added, "And Father {hadn't even 
looked : didn't even look} surprised."

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