Subject: [FFML] [Commentary] Cheshire Grin, Chapter 1
From: Aishuu Shadowweaver
Date: 1/16/2003, 12:37 AM
To: ffml@anifics.com


Oh, a Furuba fic!  And it doesn't look ship centric,
so it has kudos there... K/T subplot is fine, but as
long as it doesn't DROWN in it... I'm not a huge
shipper for Fruits Basket... I prefer to see the
story, rather than mush.  ^^;;

Random thoughts:

~ The opening was a great hook. Just seemed very
legendary, in the tone of "A long time ago the Jade
Emperor called the animals to a feast..." Really fit.
And I don't ever see a true reconcilliation, IMHO. 

~ Kyou seems on target. Tohru seems close too,
especially with her obsession of the "Year of the
Cat", though I never see her confessiong that she'd
like Kyou to win. I see her more as saying she wants
them to stop fighting - her New Year's wish. But I'll
suspend the disbelief, because it's required.  Yuki's
the one I'm worried about... often times when a Furuba
writer gets going, they sacrifice Yuki or Kyou in
favor of which one they prefer... it's HARD to find a
balanced Yuki/Kyou fic.  I've only seen you're "hard"
Yuki, so I hope you let some of his other aspects
show.  All of the Furuba characters are wonderful
because of their dimensions. He's on target here,
but... well, he's my favorite, so I hate seeing him
become flat.

~ The ending really made me laugh. Kyou trying to
control his temper is just an outright hysterical
idea, and my instinct is to say.... no way. Kyou's
MAIN personality trait is his temper, and that is
TEMPERED by (forgive the pun) his gentleness.

~ Breeze? Scratch that. It was going to be a
hurricane.

Great line.

Kudos for a great start, hope to see more.

Anyway, one suggestion for formatting it that you
attach an email addy to the actual document?  I
couldn't find one, and since I'm on digest, I had to
mail the entire list, something I am loathe to do.  I
prefer to make replies privately, as I know many
people are... and for digest, I need an email addy!

~ Aishuu

=====
Let the wind and ocean water
Wash across your hands
Wash away a thousand footsteps
Wash us all away
Like sand
Mailing List: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quicksilver/
Fanfiction: http://www.midnightrevolution.org/quicksilver/

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