In a message dated 1/12/03 7:15:38 AM, mchase@ix.netcom.com writes:

Suggested changes: {before : after}

Spel chekers are legal in most jurisdictions.

It's called I finished writing this at three a.m. and knew I was forgetting 
something and didn't care. =)

When I mention differences in the background of this story from the
anime, I don't mean you need to change something to fit canon.� I am
just noting the difference since it may have additional consequences.

noted.

"No." Shinohara sighed. "Miss Usagi," he said, speaking very clearly and
{ennunciating : enunciating} each word. "The last time Miss Naru began a 

{sentance : sentence} with the

words 'say, {shinnie : Shinnie}', I spent forty-five minutes in a subway 

station, dressed

in women's clothing and flirting with an American Marine. Apologies, but 

my

answer is no."

Gee, he's no fun at all. :}b

Yeah. And he was nicely accessorized.

This Usagi and Naru appear much tighter than the pair in the anime.
That will make it much harder for Usagi to distance herself to protect
Naru if Naru isn't involved in senshi business in her own right.

I'm not sure this Usagi would distance herself to protect Naru. It's pretty 

much established that they both enjoy causing trouble as it is and don't 
particularly care whose toes they step on.

"Yep." Usagi sounded thoughtful. "She keeps this safe in the bathroom, you
know. Under the sink. Last place anyone would look, you know? Anyway, she
looked at the pictures and then dashed into the bathroom to put the 

pictures

away where no one else could see them. She must have stubbed her toe or
something though, cause when we listened at the door, we heard her 

moaning.

She must have wanted you there to kiss it and make it better, cause she 

kept

calling out your name."

The paper in Shinohara's hands tore lengthwise down the middle.

That was evil.� I likes it.

Thanks.

Without any effort whatsoever, Flash came to a stop and faced the line,
looking almost like a drill {sargent and her : sergeant. Her} eyes were 

cold as they swept over

the group. "Listen up," she snarled. "With Shidou out sick, I'm team 

captain,

which makes teaching you lot the fine art of hockey my responsibility. 

She

pushed backwards a bit and gestured for them to look around. "See this? 

This

room, this whole building. All of it is a {seperate : separate} world. In 

here, you are

part of a team and any feelings you may have {towards : toward} your 

teammates, hostile

or otherwise don't exist here. In here, we are one living, breathing 

entity

with one purpose. Kick some ass." She moved back to her original 

position.

"Now even though you are backup for us regulars, you still need to be 

able to

play just as we do. But since I doubt most of you have even been on ice
skates before, we'll start with the basics." She reached into the box and
took out a black plastic disc. "This is the puck, your enemy and your
friend." She skated forward and handed a puck to each girl. "I say your
friend, because putting into the other team's goal is our goal. It's also
your enemy because keeping it out of our goal is our purpose." She let 

the

box fall to the floor. "So, let's see what you got. Do laps around the 

ice

until I tell you to stop. Go as fast as you feel comfortable. Use your 

stick

to guide the puck as you do."

She sounds like a pretty good coach and instructor so far.

And yet she's the bully who's pushed these girls around. Odd, aint it?

"I've known Ami for years," Usagi said. "She thinks it's embarrassing, 

but

she has a huge inner ear problem, messes up her sense of balance. She can
walk and run, but that's about it." She tapped a finger on her knee. 

"Come to

think of it, she's been acting odd since that bump on the head. She eats
more, walks different, just seems more...I dunno, aware." She whirled on
Shinohara. "You knocked her up, didn't you?"

That must have been a real problem in gym classes until someone
figured it out.� Memories of that time would be a reason Ami would be
eager to avoid physical education as much as possible.� It might also
raise a flag to Aunt Mai if she suddenly becomes a sports star.

Ami might know that. She wouldn't tell Aunt Mai.

If Ami has been around for so long, how long has Makoto been around?
In the anime, both started at Usagi's school very shortly before they
became senshi.

A few years.

No. Weasel it out of her." The mad grin took on an air of hungry 

{anticpation : anticipation}.

"This is going to be fun." Shinohara simply nodded, even as he offered up 

a

silent prayer to anyone who might be listening that he didn't wind up 

wearing

say...a dog suit.

Or a weasel suit.

Or a Rabbit Suit.

"Because I...because I have had enough of your {chidlish : childish} and 

immature

behavior," Shinohara said and left the room. Ami looked at Usagi for a 

moment

and then ran after Shinohara. Their shouted voices mixed with those of 

Aunt

Mai and Mister Jameson wanting to know what the shouting was about and 

then

the front door slammed. Moments later, they could hear Ami in the front 

yard,

shouting for Shinohara to wait.

It would be sort of poetic if Ami and Gendo took the opportunity to get
a room and get it on.� Not that this is that sort of story.

I debated having that happen at some point, but neither Ami, nor Gendo is 
that type of person.

'More proof that I was
right to keep this curse a secret.' She looked around the roof and 

sighed.

There was no sign of roof {acess : access} to the inside of the building 

and with a

sigh, she began to crawl down the side of the tower, hoping no one saw 

her.

Now I have to wonder what happened to Gendo.� It seems a little odd to
me, especially after reading to the end and knowing what happened,
that Ami doesn't wonder either.

She's got other things on her mind. 

I also wonder a little where Sailor Moon is.� This sounded like a
youma attack and Sailor Moon is already active.

I noticed in the anime that Sailor Moon always just happens to be there 

when the Youma are there. Take the hair salon incident. Minako and Usagi were 
there for the full on spa treatment so Usagi could get over Mamoru. By 
cowinkydink, the youma were there sapping energy.

 Ami Mizuno had been number seven, the last

living being they found.

I guess getting shaken and stirred at a young age would explain her
inner ear problems.

No kidding. 

"I suppose I should me moving along as well," Jameson said. "Miki will be
starting to wonder." He paused. "Mai, are you sure it's a good idea? The
slumber party? I've heard stories about {Tuskino : Tsukino} and Okasa."

As much of a control freak as he sounds, I'd expect a meter thick
dossier... on each.

Who said he doesn't? And if he did, would he admit it?

Giving her aunt a puzzled look, Ami left the room, Naru right behind her.
Usagi, however, stopped at the doorway and looked at the older woman. 

"Bad?"

the teen asked. Ami's wail of grief from downstairs answered the 

question.

"I'll call my dad's lawyer," Usagi said simply and hurried downstairs.

It's odd that her first reaction to some as yet unknown problem would
be to call a lawyer.

Think about it. This is a police captain's kid. One of their own. It's not 
going to take them long to find out that Ami was the last person he had 
contact with. They're going to want to talk to her.

"Are you okay?" asked a voice. Ami turned to see a tall, graceful woman
standing nearby. She wore a {bisinuess : business} suit and her long hair 

seemed almost

dark green in the afternoon sun.

Sailor Pluto cameo.� Is she going to be more active than she was in
the early anime?

Nope. One time shot.

Dark save for the table in the middle of the room. {Upoun : Upon} this 

table sat a

lamp, which cast a small circle of light around the table, and beyond 

that

circle, deep blackness. The only other thing on the table was a small, 

old

fashioned tape recorder.

"This is the journal of Ami Mizuno, to be published in the event of my 

death.

I have been more then a month in the {preperation : preparation} for my 

purpose. For my

atonement of the act of cowardice that cost Gendo Shinohara his life.

{Wether : Whether} by accident or design, I have power. Gendo only wanted 

one thing out

of life. To be a cop. To protect the people of Tokyo. Now, in his name, I
will do what he never got to do. I will become the spider, I will become 

the

night.

With Great Power, comes the even Greater {Responsibilty : Responsibility} 

to use it.

It will be interesting to see how she accomodates her
responsibilities as Spiderwoman to those of a senshi if she does get
tapped as Sailor Mercury.

Being tapped as Sailor Mercury might be the only thing that saves her.

*************
Steve "Komodo" T.
"Great," Nabiki said, getting up to pace as her voice began to climb in 
volume with every word. "Kasumi gets a man who worships the ground she 
walks on, Akane has three different rich lunatics, or kings, or Demigods 
fall in love with her nearly every day--and that's just before breakfast, 
mind you--and what do I get?" She glared at SETCOM's burnished black metal 
shell, her voice soft, but her tone as cold as ice. "A computer."

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