Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sun, 12 Jan 2003 17:54:06 -0600 Tom Keehn <zinyadel@hotmail.com> wrote:
Exclusive rights to all Ranma{: }1/2 characters and places belong to
Rumiko Takahashi and are used herein without permission. This
material is not to be used for commercial gain or in any other way
that is profitable.
With her ticket in hand, Nabiki regarded the train that would
finally save her from the insanity she was leaving behind. Still,
knowing that the train {would : could} depart without her, she turned around
to face her family. She would have to make this quick, Happousai
having already delayed their progress to the station long enough
with his childish antics.
"This {will be : is} a list of things I need mailed to me concerning
business ties and anything else you may get asked in {{concerns of
me}}," she declared. Her sister nodded, taking the list as if it were
something sacred with the hand that wasn't resting on her father's
shoulder. "It also includes my new mailing address and I will be
calling with my phone number once I {found : find} out what it is. Feel free
to mail me any foodstuffs. You know what I like."
Satisfied with the subservient expression on her sister's face,
Nabiki turned to her father, holding out the other paper. "This is
a bill for the financial services rendered while I lived {under : in} your
household. I've already included my renting of a room in your
household, plus an approximate number of meals, as credits to your
account," she explained.
I couldn't make enough sense of the phrase in {{}} to suggest an
alternative.
"I'm simply basing my numbers {around : on} the average salary of a
financial advisor, tax accountant and investment broker. I figure
as I was all three, it would only be fair to charge you under the
premise of how much you saved without having to employ any of said
services," she answered.
"Don't worry, {daddy : Daddy}," she remarked offhandedly. "If you can't pay
it, I'll simply make an account for you like all my other clients."
She hugged him, his shocked state disabling his ability to hug her
back.
Nabiki turned back around, her eyes closed once again. The gesture,
though meaning to give an uncaring expression towards Ranma, served
also to save her from the sight of him. "Nor do we need to," she
countered, holding her hand out again. "This is {good bye : goodbye}, Ranma."
Akane nodded, accompanying her down the length of one car. People
bustled about them, many getting on the {trains : train} after quick
farewells. The time for departure was coming quickly, the available
seating diminishing by the second.
She sighed as her sister's fingers closed about the locket.
Releasing her hold on it, Nabiki felt a heavy guilt finally passing
from her. She was leaving at last. Finally, Akane, Ranma and
herself could lead peaceful lives. Stepping {forwards : forward}, she brushed
the bangs aside from her sister's forehead and leaned in to place a
small kiss. Arms slipped around her, holding her tightly.
Turning away from the covered window, Nabiki sighed. Her eyes
glanced aside to note the approach of {Kuno : Kunou}, dressed in a simple
white shirt and black pants. He nodded to her, silently taking a
seat across from her.
"In all my years, I knew it would happen but nothing could have
prepared me for the loss," moaned Soun as the Tendou patriarch
staggered down the sidewalk. Kasumi walked {aside : beside} her depressed
father, occasionally offering him a comforting hand. Happousai
wanted to retch.
This was the very reason in all his years why he had never chosen to
have children. He was certain had he wanted to, he could have had
them with one of many willing women, but the eventual separation was
not worth the investment. It was for this same reason {why :} he seldom
chose disciples. His first two had proven to be pathetic excuses
for martial artists.
"Please, {daddy : Daddy}," Akane remarked, glancing about the street. "You
are embarrassing me."
Is there a geas on that locket? She's acting rather Nabiki like and
she countered Hapousai with the same maneuver.
"Dirty{, :} old man," Ranma growled, the pigtailed visage scowling as it
came into focus. "How about I punt you into next week!"
'No, it can't be!' he thought. It was the locket he had given Soun
many years ago after one of their many training trips, a locket
supposedly lost. 'How did she get it?'
Ah. That makes the situation with the locket a little clearer. I
wonder if Soun would recognize it too. That may be why Nabiki wanted
to be away from the others when she gave it to Akane.
Ranma shuddered, not wanting to look back. He could still hear
Happousai's strangled cries {amongst : through} a young girl's cooing voice.
Hopefully Akane sold him rather than just giving him to the girl.
"I'll get you for this, Ranma, if it's the last thing I do!"
Why is he blaming Ranma? Akane did it.
Ranma sighed, realizing there was little he could do {in : about} the
situation. His suspicions {on : concerning} Ryouga's whereabouts were not
{promising : firm} enough to warrant breaking in to the Shiratori residence.
Ryouga could be anywhere, maybe even dead.
"Pay attention, {boy : Boy}," barked his old man, slapping him in the back
of his head.
"Well... she did say that the arranged marriage, though unwelcome,
was honestly the best thing that's ever happened to her," Soun
admitted, his voice lowering in volume. "She even went so far as to
suggest I do the same for her sisters."
How... generous of her.
By this point it appears that the locket is supposed to make the
wearer an ideal Japanese wife. Maybe Nabiki didn't show the cooking
and cleaning part because those tasks had already been picked up by
Kasumi.
Another part of her was calm and assertive, telling her to go for
what she wanted. It harmonized with the love of her shy
counterpart, livening up images of romance with Ranma that she would
never admit to having. This persona, one that loved Ranma only
slightly {different : differently} than her own, reached out her hand and opened the
door.
"Akane," Ranma said, his face setting with determination. "I know
today has been hard on you, but is there something wrong? Pops and
your dad are worried about {you? : you.}"
"A grandmaster can always find his way out of a situation,"
Happousai remarked, crossing his arms with a superior look upon his
wizened face. "Her hold, though {admittingly : admittedly} better than my own, did
not last as she continually felt the need to pull me away and gawk
at me in awe. As much as I adored the attention, I have more
pressing matters here."
Ukyou shrugged {noncommittingly : noncommittally}. Through the haze and the flashing
lights, she could barely make out the forms of the two
aforementioned teens that had accompanied them to the club. She
could only assume they were dancing, and trusted that to be the case
as she went back to her drink.
Business was good again, though not nearly as good as it could be.
Her year-long hiatus had dulled her edge in {okonamiyaki : okonomiyaki} serving, but
she was slowly getting it back. She hoped, given another month, she
would be fully back on her feet.
{Ciaow : Ciao}