Hello, these are some thoughts, useful or not.

    "You want us to WHAT?!?"

    And with those words out of my youngest sister's mouth we 
all stared at Father, who had by now begun to sweat under our 
collective gaze.

'all' also includes Nabiki, right? You didn't mention her, which makes 'all' seem a bit overdone for just Kasumi and Akane, who were mentioned.
I'm also sorry if I haven't made any sense.

    After a long moment of silence Nabiki finally asked, "What 
were you thinking Father?"

thinking, Father?"

    Putting on a pained expression Father looked at us all and 

expression, Father

<snip>

    Nabiki and I just sat there, looking at each other, her with 
a frown on her face as I could almost watch the quick thinking 
machine that her mind was wrap itself around this new wrinkle in 
our lives.

I'm having trouble with that one for some reason. I understand what you're trying to say, but it's making no sense: Nabiki and I just sat there, looking at each other, her with a frown on her face as I could almost watch the quick thinking machine that her mind was wrap itself around this new wrinkle in our lives.

I think you may be able to get across what you're trying to say more effectively with something like, 'I just sat there with Nabiki, looking at the frown her face, and watching for deeper still the quick thinking machine that was her mind wrap itself around this new wrinkle in our lives.'

You probably would be better off not taking my suggestion though.

Final thoughts:

I wanna read more!
___________________________________________________

Troy Thomas
___________________________________________________

Homer:
I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm aro
___________________________________________________
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