----- Original Message -----
From: "AlanP" <alan.p@paradise.net.nz>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Sunday, January 05, 2003 9:42 AM
Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic][R1/2][FoR][Revised] Untitled, Chapter one

Not much to comment on, except:

Soun thought of his wife... he had thought her a weak female when first
he met her, but the beauty had quickly disavowed that knowledge,
reinforcing the message with her katana.

The way this is written, Mrs. Tendo swears she didn't know she was a weak
woman. Really.

The verb you're looking for is "disabuse", and you should probably change
"knowledge" to "notion" or "idea".

Just my 2 cents.


SP



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