Ranma 1/2 is a creation of Rumiko Takahashi, and is published by VIZ
inc in the US. The behavior of cats is copyright nature and God.
You know, I *thought* that last line was just a typical Kenko-esque
funny-disclaimer thingie....
Boy, was *I* wrong.
And now that that's out of the way...
####
Saffron, lord-god of the Phoenix sighed. "I TOLD her not to
antagonize Ranma. No matter WHAT bad feelings she held after their
last meeting."
Need comma after "Phoenix"
"She's too proud, you know." Cologne sighed. "And she can't
accept that Ranma is a part and parcel of this conference."
Perhaps Cologne sighed "as well"?
Herb nodded. "A meeting of the five great powers of the Art was
needful, and that DOES by definition include Master Ranma."
Five.... Hm. The Amazons, the Musk, the Phoenix (although I don't recall
the Phoenix being really masters of the Art -- Saffron was just a demigod,
after all), the Five Lucky Gods, and Ranma? Although technically I'd say
that Ranma should be representing the Nerima Wrecking Crew as a whole --
let's face it, Nerima is a location to be reckoned with (or avoided at all
cost) when it comes to martial arts.
"Master?"
I'm sure Cologne said this, but maybe she could raise an eyebrow or
something.
"Do you dispute that he deserves that title?" Herb was beginning
to look peeved.
"N-no, of course not. I am merely surprised to hear it from
you."
Cologne *stuttered*? Even if Herb intimidates her, I can't see her
letting it show -- as canny an old bat as she is, she wouldn't let her poker
face slip.
"It took a VERY long time to accept that he is my better. At
least, in battle. A hard thing to admit for a Dragon."
I'd suggest some more description here, but this *is* a spamfic, and
you're obviously going for lean and tight prose, so I'll let it pass.
"Heh. You came off lucky, he KILLED me once. And... he had
every reason to. I can't BELIEVE I was that much of a infantile
moron. But... does Kiima deserve this?"
DAY-um! *Humility,* from *Saffron*?
And just *what* has happened to Kiima?
Cologne snickered. "After she called him a silly half-male, a
worthless landling, and a coward? Just because he reacted badly to
the Fifth Power of the Art... it's hardly something that HE can be
blamed for."
I *want* to make a lame Fifth Element (or even Fifth Elephant) joke here,
but nothing's coming to mind.
Obviously, however, the Fifith is something cat-related. I can't figure
*who,* though.
"True." Saffron sighed. "As I am given to understand it, it's
really his father's fault."
Yep. Neko-ken, again.
"I," Herb noted, "Have not met the man, but I have yet to hear
anything positive about him... save that he is a great teacher in the
Art."
Sug: "Have never met..."
"He'd have to be to make a mere mortal Human our equal... no
offense intended, Matriarch."
Not sure Human should be capped, but I suppose it would depend on how
Saffron was intending it to come across.
"None taken. But my Great Grand-daughter is pained by this...
even though Ranma and Akane were wed five years ago, she still finds
such things VERY upsetting. And she's not as much cat as he is.
Well, at the moment SHE is."
I'm pretty sure that Great-Grand should not be capped, here, because it's
being used as a remote reference, not a direct address.
"Stupid Nekojin ambassador pouncing him when he's a her because
she thought she was cute."
That sentance was a little mangled... but in a *good* way -- it sounds to
my mental ear just like someone would say it. It makes perfect sense, as
long as you don't try to parse it out too hard.
The Nekojin. Dangerous fighters. Strangely fluffheaded.
Insanely impulsive. And worst of all...catgirls. the males were
normal men, but the females...
You put a space after all the other 3-dot elipses.
And... Oy. Nerima-class CATGIRL martial artists? A whole
*tribe*/clan/family/etc of them? All cute, scatterbrained, mischevous,
posessive, sensual, mercurial, affectionate, and cute?
(Pictures the Wilde Home for Wayward Catgirls with Ranma as PE
instructor. Gets nosebleed).
Damn. I dunno whether to hop a plane for China, or go hide on the bottom
of Lake Superior.
Catgirls. Every one of them.
Hm. Must be a dominant gene linked to the X-chromosome.
Ranma had been under a LOT of pressure at this Conference of the
Art. Most Amazons wouldn't talk to him unless he was a her. Most
Musk would not talk to her unless he was a him. The Phoenix were
scared of him-- except for Kiima who kept making sniping remarks.
I think there should be a space on each side of that hyphen.
And the Nekojin made him nervous... but not enough to go into the
neko-ken.
Not *quite,* at least.
Until that STUPID princess, MaoMaoShi decided that Ranma was
worthy of being accepted as a brother. Not actual family, but just
such a CUDDLY person. Especially when he was a she. It wasn't
anything LESBIAN or the like... it was just more CUDDLY.
I believe her. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, Ranma-chan *is* much
more cuddly than Ranma-kun.
(MaoMaoShi??? <snerk>)
And MaoMaoShi was FAR more feline than most of her people. And
she decided to HUG the HELL out of Ranma at the SAME moment that
Kiima had made a VERY stinging remark, and then MaoMaoShi' pet cat...
Forgot the posessive "s"
ironic, that... had decided to get jealous of the attention paid to
Ranma...
I'd put the "Ironic, that" in parens, instead of ellipses.
"I suppose she had this coming," Saffron said, reluctantly.
"Yes. Cats do that. But I know Akane-san is embarrassed at
her... well, at the moment not a HUSBAND, but..."
And an embarrassed Akane is an angry Akane, and an angry Akane is an
Akane liable to hit someone (most likely Ranma, since he's durable).
"We both know. And let MaoMaoShi figure it out. As fluff-headed
as she is, she's better at diplomacy than we are. Although it pains
me."
I'd suggest "handle it" instead of "figure it out." And I'm not sure
that Herb or Saffron would be "pained" about being inferior diplomats -- as
long as they can still claim top-dog fighting skills, I doubt they'd mind
playing second fiddle diplomatically.
"I as well."
Both turned to the sight of an intensely complaining Kiima being
offered to Akane by a female Neko-Ranma, who had both... paws? No,
still hands after all, pressing her down, and meowing happily, as the
princess MaoMaoShi repeated...
Sug: "holding her down." And down where? At Akane's feet, maybe? And
maybe replace the ending ellipse with a colon.
(Repeated for the nth time, I suppose?)
"She's not fondling ANYONE, Akane-san! She just bought the bird
to you because she LIKES you!"
"Stop calling me a bird," grumbled Kiima.
ROTFLMAO! Oh, geez, I can *see* this. I wonder what *other* cat
behaviors would make for funny Neko-Ranma spamfics? Sunbeam napping, mice
chasing, fencetop yowling, curling up on the TV and batting at the moving
pictures...
And now, from the ecchi department:
"Gee, Ranma, you look like the cat that ate the Kiima."
AKANE: "Ranma, you CHEATER! How DARE you eat Kiima!"
RANMA: "Well, she'd been hit with cold water..."
--
David McMillan, Imagineer at Large.
Chief Systems Analyst and Integration Engineer, Exotic Technologies Division,
<Censored> GmBh. Mecha and Weapons Design Specialist.
"Agent Mulder? My name is Neo. I believe I may be able to show you part of
the truth you've been searching for. I should warn you, however -- it's not
what you think."
--
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