On Wed, Dec 25, 2002 at 01:59:47AM -0500, Knight Writer wrote:
Hi! It's yet another idea from my twisted mind. I've had this stowed away for quite awhile. My knowledge of Dr. Who isn't quite what I want it to be, but I have to get this out before it drives me mad. Hope you like it! BTW, any ideas and C&C are welcome and appreciated.
I don't know that much about Who either, but I'll do my best.
Happy Holidays!
Knight Writer
Sailor Moon used without permission
Doctor Who used without permission
One might wish to state who these delightful characters belong to...
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Reunion
Is it Reunion or Reunions? Your subject line says the latter.
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Japan
Tokyo
Juuban Ward
July 18, 1995
It was an ordinary night in Juuban Ward. The moon, full and bright, shone overhead in the inky depths of the night sky above the city.
Inky, huh... I'll tell ya, here in MY city, the streetlights and such
are enough that the sky doesn't quite look inky. It's not dark enough
for that. And Tokyo has FAR more lights than my little city does.
It was a quiet night. Hardly a soul was awake to see the moon and its stars holding court in space. Of those that were, fewer still knew that there once was a thriving civilization on its surface, reduced to ruins by one madwoman's greed a thousand years ago. A woman who threatened humanity again.
Again, this might be true in a small town. Tokyo has LOTS of night
workers. They, at least, are awake! Or do they not have souls?
Of all of them, save two, none at all knew that a stranger had appeared in their midst, in a ship of a million years.
"save two" would work better after "none at all". And what, exactly,
is a "ship of a million years"? Seems like a very odd phrase to
describe the TARDIS.
Nothing was disturbed, save the fabric of space and time, as the blue booth appeared in the lonely alley. It rested there for a moment, the red light atop it swirling for a moment before extinguishing and allowing the darkness back. It was completely out of place there, a thing from another land and another time.
I believe Strunk and White may have something to say on this, though I
left my copy back in my college dorm. The problem here, I think, is
that you are too in love with your own words. It sounds delicious,
like the chiming of bells, but it doesn't MEAN anything. You're
wasting a paragraph here, because we don't know how to picture this
scene in our minds.
The door slowly opened, releasing two people into the night air...
"Wonder where we are, now?" Benny asked as she stepped into the shadowed alley.
Remove the comma before 'now'. Also, the elipsis looks odd and out of
place.
"No idea. Shall we look?" the Doctor asked before locking the door to the TARDIS.
"Sure," Benny replied as he replaced the key in his pocket and tugged the white fedora securely on his head. "Too bad Ace isn't here with us."
I rather suspect that Bernice does not have a Jusenkyo curse. Given
this, you should correct the pronouns here.
"She may be," the Doctor said as the two walked to the mouth of the alley. "In time and space, everything is possible. The Ants left a good number of their own Hoppers in France."
"I just feel bad that we left her during the Reign of Terror."
"She'll survive. She's a resourceful one."
"You know, don't you?"
"Of course."
"Of course," Benny repeated as the two emerged onto the nearly deserted street. The windows were mostly dark, save for a few which sported neon signs behind the glass.
"We're in Japan," she said as the pair kept walking.
"Indeed. I'd say... late twentieth century."
"Everything looks right enough."
"Indeed," the Doctor said as he looked up at the moon as if transfixed. "I wonder..."
"What?"
"Nothing."
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Setsuna Meiou sat ramrod straight in her bed, searching the darkness of her bedchamber for something she knew wasn't there. She had felt it, felt it enter the timestream. Something was here, she knew. Something alien. Something... familiar. VERY familiar.
An image came to her mind as she sat awake in the night. A blue wooden booth with the words "Police Box" printed around the top in English.
No. No way. It couldn't be him. Could it? Did he have anything to do with the disturbances she had felt lately in the timestream?
Probably, if her first hunch was correct.
She now wished more than ever that she'd been able to keep Arby from
gallivanting off with the Doctor, but some things, she'd been forced
to accept, couldn't be helped.
Oh, wait, nevermind.
"I was wondering when I'd see you again, Doctor," Setsuna said as she rose from the covers. The Time Lords, especially renegades like him, had a habit of showing up in the damndest places. Usually as harbingers of imminent disaster.
Setsuna knew. She could not deny it. A Time Lord from Gallifrey was here. This could complicate things a great deal. Maybe. Or maybe not. With them, it was often impossible to tell.
"I still remember you, Doctor," she said as she stripped off the sheer chemise and stood nude in the moonlight. "I wonder what you look like now?"
Why do you mention this? I would think she would leave her clothes
(such as they are) on before transforming. The other Senshi do, after all.
The henshin stick was in her hand, and the transformation was over in seconds. Sailor Pluto leapt out into the night, her mind frantically pondering possibilites and events that may or may not come to pass.
"I hope that you are my ally this time as well," she said as she leapt through the dark. She knew his keen intellect from over a thousand years ago, and hoped that she would not be set against him. The Doctor was not a man to be taken lightly. Who knew how long had he had been wandering through the space/time continuum between the time of the Lunar Court and now? To a Time Lord, such things a years and centuries were meaningless.
"such things as"
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"This is it?" Zoicite asked as he and Malachite materialized in the alley. "This stupid blue box is what Beryl sent us for?"
"Apparently," his lover, Malachite, said from behind. "Let's just get it and go."
Zoicite is from the Japanese version. Malachite is from the DiC
version. Pick one and stick with it.
The two men stepped to each side of the strange blue booth, what Beryl had called a TARDIS, and teleported back to the Negaverse.
Looks like DiC here, in which case Zoicite should be Zoycite and
female.
Or, rather, change "Negaverse" to "Dark Kingdom". I prefer the
Japanese continuity, but other people may differ. But please, pick
one?
Whatever it was, Queen Beryl had nearly freaked out when she had seen it. Who were they to question her orders?
Given how little of her orders they follow later on...
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Unfortunately, that's it. I'm still looking for ideas and constructive criticism. All I really have from here are scene ideas, nothing really concrete. ANY help will be appreciated.
Well, how does the Who continuity mesh with the SM continuity? Do the
Daleks and Cybermen and all the other major baddies that get involved
with Earth come in? Is UNIT still around? Is Minako a member of UNIT?
Does UNIT know of the Senshi? What about former companions of the
Doctor; they would still be around somewhere, wouldn't they?
Ideas are cheap. It's figuring out which ideas will make a good story
and then writing that story that's hard.