Hi, here are my comments. Take what you like, ignore what you don't.

<snip>

Anyways we have had this argument before and will likely have it again

Anyway, we -or- Anyways, we

<snip>

After a slight hesitation she went about rigging the recorder so that

slight hesitation,

<snip>

Her father certainly didn't make enough to pay the bills had this
belonged to Japan.

Ah, something's off here, and I can't think of what it is.
I think you're trying to say something like, 'Her father certainly wouldn't be able to pay the bills if it belonged to Japan.'

<snip>

teach her no more.  Then she had left to train on her own and the
thoughts of what happened after that, were not welcome at the moment.

after that, were not -> after that were not

<snip>

Ukyou clenched her fist.  "I am sick of living your lie, father," she

father -> Father

said, her feelings roiling inside her in a mixture of self pity and

self pity -> self-pity

I disagree with Nabiki's running a secret photo ring, feeling she wouldn't really want to put a whole lot of effort into making money by using someone who'd actually retaliate against such treatment, but being a new reader to this series, and new to c&cing in general, I'm willing to ignore my impressions (cause I'm probably wrong anyway).

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