The primary purpose of this post is to disagree with most of the 
suggested corrections... though in some cases not by specific reference.

Michael A Chase wrote:

Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Fri, 13 Dec 2002 15:10:14 -0700 Krista Perry <krista.perry@attbi.com> wrote:

I always felt that it needed one, and now that the huge story is
whole in my head, instead of still being in the germinating
stages, I'm hoping to make it tighter -- especially since going
back and reading the first few chapters these days makes me
cringe.  When I first started writing {Hearst : Hearts} of Ice, I was
tentative and nervous about putting my writing before the public,
and I think it shows.  The first few chapters are also riddled
with quite a few "fanfic cliches."  Though I didn't know any
better at the time, I'll be taking my editor's ax to them --
hopefully quite thoroughly.

Please enjoy yourself.  I look forward to the new version, but don't worry
too much about fanfic cliches; some of them are cliches because they work.

You don't need to change the title. :}b

Agreed, on both counts.

I personally hope I'll be able to read the new version of Hearts of Ice; 
I probably wouldn't be able to read the old one at this stage, since it 
almost sent me into semi-depressive fits the first time around and I've 
grown rather more sensitive to the matter since then. ^_^

(No, it isn't actual depression - it's an odd condition which seems to 
be peculiar to me. Suffice to say that it's one of the major reasons I 
don't generally read darkfic - but I plan to make an exception for this 
rewrite!)

     Akane stood fuming.  "Of course I noticed, you idiot!  I
thought you might be relieved that Shampoo hasn't been around
glomping on to you all this past week, but if you miss her that
much, why don't you go *find* her?!"  And without waiting to hear
his reply, Akane turned and sprinted off to school again, leaving
an angry, dripping{: , and} female Ranma standing alone in the drainage
ditch.

I can see why the suggestion was made, but in my mind it's not 
necessarily required. The point is arguable, though, and I think either 
form could work.

      "*Well, {great-grandchild : Great-Grandchild},*" the crone whispered softly.
"*It appears you have succeeded.  I must admit, I had my doubts
that you would return from the mountain.  You are one of very few
who have managed to reach the Ancient One.*"

I'm not going to comment on every one of these, because there are just 
too many, but I appear to be in fundamental disagreement with Michael 
Chase on this point. He seems to be of the opinion that any reference 
such as the one he flags above should be capitalized; I find it almost 
universally unnecessary, and frequently prefer the uncapitalized form to 
the capitalized one.

The capitalization may indeed be necessary if the person speaking means 
the term either as a name or as a title, rather than simply as some 
other form of descriptive noun; however, in other instances - such as, 
as best I can tell, every instance Mr. Chase has flagged in this chapter 
along with at least one he hasn't - its necessity is much less certain, 
and its utility still more questionable.

     It was Shampoo's second failure.  First, not being able to
take Ranma as her husband as he was by law, and then letting
Akane live.  Dishonored twice over.

Wasn't the first failing to kill girl-type Ranma?

That could be argued either way, but one side of it would say that since 
Ranma actually isn't female then the Kiss of Death does not apply and 
the entire matter was negated as soon as the Amazons became aware of his 
masculinity.

     Ranma slipped past them with practiced ease.  "Hey, I'm not
engaged to no one, {duck-boy : Duck-Boy}!" he denied, also with practiced
ease.  "None of this mess was my idea!"  He wove through the
attack and landed a fierce punch to the jaw, sending Mousse
flying into the front of the Nekohanten, cracking plaster and
concrete.  Mousse slumped to the ground, dazed, his arsenal
falling limp from his sleeves, his glasses askew on his face.
Ranma stood at a ready stance, waiting for the Chinese boy to get
up and resume the battle.

This one is another example of the rule Mr. Chase appears to adhere to, 
to which I objected above. Here, the term in question is clearly neither 
a name nor a title but simply a descriptive noun; as such it does not 
need to be capitalized.

-- 
       The Wanderer, gradually formalizing his usage rules

I feel I should warn you I'm slightly mad.

Warning: Simply because I argue an issue does not mean I agree with any 
side of it.

A government exists to serve its citizens, not to control them.

"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much 
liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it."
  - Thomas Jefferson to Archibald Stuart, 1791. ME 8:276


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'