I guess it's time to come out of hiding and start making
myself useful to the list. And so here is my contribution
after almost a year of silence.

The following are my comments to your story thus far:
1. The experiences of Ranma that you wrote have not varied
greatly from the ones we know in canon. However, instead of
the tough teenager that we've come to know and love, you've
presented Ranma here to be a weepy kid who couldn't beat
his mother in a match in spite of Ranma having had almost
ten years of training.

2. Regarding Nodoka's fighting skill: as far as I can tell,
canon does not give us any indication of her skill in the
martial arts. This of course gives writers like yourself
enough license to explore the possibility that Nodoka
is herself an accomplish fighter. However, you did not
take advantage of this; that is to say, you do not give
us any reason to believe that this Nodoka is different
from canon in so far as her past training and present
skills go. To simply write a fight sequence where Nodoka
severely outclasses Ranma seems too much to believe
without justification.

3. Finally, it does not seem logical for Nodoka to insist that
Ranma spend one year as a girl. If what she wants is to teach
her son to be less of a sexist, certainly a week or even a month
of being a girl should be sufficient, but certainly not a
whole year. If Nodoka has a more adequate and believable
reason, it has not been made clear in your story.

I hope that these comments have helped. I look forward to the
next installment of your story.

Regards,

DarkHorse

Disclaimer:  I don't own either Ranma or Magic Knight 
Rayearth.  They, along with their respective characters, are 
owned by their creators/ companies.  

*...* denotes thoughts [...] denotes a panda sign

Magic Knight Chaos Prologue Two: Adjustments

 Saotome Nodoka stared at her guest for a couple of moments, 
 unable to process what was happening.  Was what she saw 
 actually true?  Was it really possible for somebody to 
 change their gender within a couple seconds?  Furthermore, 
 was this young man actually her son?  He certainly sounded 
 like him, but she hadn't seen him in so long...


 Nodoka got up from her seat and walked over to Ranma, 
 taking very slow and short steps.   She bent down and took 
 the proffered sword from her son, then put it on the table 
 as she knelt down next to him so she could look him eye-to-
 eye.

 "I will have some answers before any decisions are made," 
 she told him, lifting his chin up.

 "Yes, ma'am," Ranma replied, trying not to shiver from the 
 dread he still felt. 

 "Are you actually my son?"

 "Yes, I am."

 "And why did you come here in the guise of a girl?"

 Ranma remained silent for a moment as he thought about how 
 to word it.  "I got a curse while training in China.  Now, 
 whenever I'm hit with water I change into a girl, but I 
 change back with hot water."

--------------------->< snip snip >< ----------------------

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