Roommates
Thom Keehn
zinyadel@hotmail.com


Exclusive rights to all Ranma1/2 characters and places belong to
Rumiko Takahashi and are used herein without permission.  This
material is not to be used for commercial gain or in any other way
that is profitable.

I'm finally getting around to explaining a few things, like what on
earth has come over Gosunkugi (though I think with my revisions the
change has become less important than before).  Also it probably would
be a good idea to explain where Konatsu would end up now that Ukyou
has fled the scene of the crime.  I think the title tells the rest.

The stories of both the Cas series and Wedding Aftermaths are on my
homepage in formatted text files.

http://ravenhale.anifics.com/fiction.html

-----

Gosunkugi sighed, staring out into the starry night sky from inside
the restaurant.  She said she'd meet him here for his last assignment
under her employ.  The negatives would finally be his and he would be
free from Nabiki's extortion at last.

He glanced back at his food with disinterest.  He wasn't hungry, so he
picked at his food impatiently.  She would be here any moment and of
course, he knew it was expected of him to sate her pallet.  Any
argument against the action would somehow end up in a convoluted twist
of logic that dropped him back into her debt.

"You hardly dress for the occasion," a voice spoke from his side.

He turned his sunken eyes upon his visitor.  Nabiki smirked down upon
him, her hands placed confidently on her hips.  With an air of
superiority, she slipped into the booth across from him.  She unzipped
the light jacket she wore for the evening, revealing a simple white
turtleneck before gesturing across the room.

Hikaru paid her comment little attention, preferring the dark uniform
of the school for this occasion.  Instead he cast his gaze over his
shoulder to regard whatever she was pointing to.  A familiar young
woman crossed the room towards them, the flowery kimono swirling about
her sandals.  For a moment, he was stricken with the beauty of the
long, raven-haired girl approaching them.

"Konatsu," he muttered, banishing his momentary daze with the
recognition of the waitress.  He returned his attention back to
Nabiki, arching a brow inquisitively.  "Exactly what is he doing
here?"

Konatsu came up to the table and bowed respectfully to the pair before
taking up a seat next to Nabiki.  The waitress was a startling
contrast to the ruthless extortionist.  Gosunkugi found himself
admitting that even if Konatsu had been a girl, he preferred the
danger.

The thought sickened him a little, but he supposed this was also the
reason for his infatuation with Akane.  Though Akane rarely did
anything violent against him, her belligerent attitude certainly
hadn't escaped his attention.  Perhaps it was the challenge of
bringing such a volatile woman to tenderness that inspired his desire.
Or maybe not.  He understood only that he wanted her and couldn't have
her so long as Ranma Saotome lived.

Nabiki stared at him, a flicker of disappointment in her eyes.  "Are
you going to just sit there?" she asked lightly.

He fought back his initial urge to cow before her and apologize.  He
would never be free of her if he allowed her that power over him.
Instead he thought of a better way to subjugate her anger.  "I'm
waiting for you to order," he stated meekly, glancing down at his
pocket, which hopefully contained enough yen to please her.

Nabiki smiled wryly, allowing him the small victory as it didn't
change the results thus far.  After all, he knew he had the rest of
the meal to survive without a slip up while she only needed to win
once.  Nabiki waved for a waiter to come to her.  Either familiar with
the girl or not busy enough to do something else, a waiter appeared at
the table in an instant.

"I would like to start with some egg drop soup and a deluxe order of
chow mein with orange chicken," she declared.  She glanced at Konatsu.
"Oh, and please wait till I'm finished with my soup before bringing
out the rest of my order.  What would you like, Konatsu?"

Konatsu's eyes raised from the table for perhaps the second time
during the evening.  He brought a slender hand up to his lips, eyes
flashing in alarm.  "I wouldn't want to impose," Konatsu said softly.

Nabiki smiled smoothly and gestured at Hikaru.  "Don't worry," she
replied.  "Gosunkugi is treating us for the occasion."

Knowing that arguing would only worsen the matter, Hikaru nodded
meekly.

Konatsu's eyes fell back to the table surface.  "I suppose some rice
and pickles," the waitress yielded.  "If that's not too much to ask."

Gosunkugi exhaled a sigh of relief, thankful that his unexpected guest
wasn't going to impact his wallet in the slightest comparison of
Nabiki.  "Just add them to my bill," he told the waiter.  The waiter
bowed to them all before hustling off to the kitchen.

A moment of silence passed between them, Nabiki studying a black book
she had placed on the table, Konatsu boring a hole in the table with
his averted eyes and Hikaru fidgeting impatiently.  "About my debts,"
he spoke up, unable to bear the silence any longer.

Nabiki reached into her jacket and pulled out a manila envelope.  She
tossed the thing across the table conveniently striking him in the
face.  He muttered angrily, frustrated that he couldn't do anything
about it.  Noting that Nabiki had returned to writing in her black
book, he decided it was best to leave her alone and examine the
contents of the envelope.

As dinner quickly arrived for his guests, Hikaru scanned through the
contents of the envelope.  It was much more than he had expected to be
given.  He hadn't even known about half of the incidents caught on
film of him peeping on Akane.  He shook the envelope, causing several
strips of negatives to spill out onto the table.  He gasped.  Nabiki
was really letting him go.

Nabiki's spoon clanked softly against the cup of soup she had been
given.  He looked up, assuming she was demanding his attention.  To
his relief, she was not the least bit intent on him, still striking
out lines in her ledger.  She absently brought the spoon up to her
lips, blowing on it once before taking it into her mouth.

Seeing that Nabiki was quite content doing whatever and unable to
bring himself to eat, Hikaru turned his attention on his other guest.
Konatsu was eating slowly of the rice and pickles that had been
brought out with Nabiki's soup.  In all appearances, the waitress was
more nervous about this than he was.

He allowed Nabiki to finish her soup before interrupting her
systematic work on the ledger.  "I'm still curious as to what this
final favor is," Gosunkugi remarked.  "And what are you doing?"

"Removing all uncollected debts you owe me," Nabiki explained.  The
waiter appeared when she lifted her cup of tea.  It was promptly
refilled, her main course was set before her with a pair of
complimentary chopsticks and the soup cup was escorted back to the
kitchen.  "I'm sure you noticed quite a few things in there that I
haven't demanded money for."

He nodded once.  "I am grateful," he admitted, stuffing his anger into
the depths of his consciousness.  "Still that leaves the final favor
for giving out your cell number."

Nabiki placed a hand on Konatsu's shoulder who humbly stared at the
table.  "This is your final favor," Nabiki stated.  She removed her
hand to assist in the effort of transferring food from plate to mouth.

Hikaru blinked, uncertain of what the extortionist was implying.  He
glanced at Konatsu, replaying the waitress's domicile behavior
throughout this encounter over and over.  His mind fixed on an idea
and he cringed.

"I... I can't," he stammered.  "I don't care how much I owe you for
that mistake but I won't go on a date with him!"

Konatsu's head smacked the table in response.  Nabiki's regarded him
as if he were insane.  He glanced about the restaurant, noting many
eyes were upon them after his remark.

"What gave you the idea that I wanted to date with you!" Konatsu
shouted at him, leaning over the table with hands gripping the edge so
tightly that the wood cracked under the assault.

Hikaru shrunk back into his seat, throwing his hands up in warding.
"I'm sorry," he whimpered.  "I just thought with you acting like
that...."

"Hrrmmm!" Konatsu miffed, sitting back down and angrily crossing his
arms over his chest.  The waitress was clearly angry, with his head
turned away from Hikaru.

"Actually, Konatsu needs a place to stay now that Ukyou has vanished,"
Nabiki explained.  "The restaurant won't be able to stay in business
with Ukyou gone and we already know what happened last time Konatsu
and Ranma tried to run the shop.  It will only be a matter of time
before the shop is repossessed."

Konatsu sighed, visibly relaxing.

Hikaru frowned.  He vaguely remembered hearing something about that
incident but he supposed that didn't matter now.  "Why can't your
family extend some hospitality?" he asked, carefully trying to sound
inquisitive instead of petulant.  "Considering Ranma is partially to
blame for the situation."

"You owe me, Gos," Nabiki stated.  "And although my family has often
done this sort of thing in the past, things are not exactly calm
around the house anymore.  Maybe in a few weeks after everyone has
calmed down and we understand where everyone stands concerning the
wedding, we will be able to take him off your hands.  Until then, he's
staying with you."

Konatsu bowed politely to him.  "I am very thankful for your
generosity, Gosunkugi-sama," the waitress said formally.  "I promise
to not be a burden to you and will work hard to earn my keep."

Hikaru blanched at the words.  "I... I..." he stammered at a loss for
words.  He sighed and nodded.  "I'm never going to hear the end of
this."

*****

He pushed up the window, cringing at the sliding sound it made.  He
waited for a couple moments, peering into the darkness inside.
Hearing nothing that would suggest someone was stirring from their
slumber, he turned to wave his companion inside.

The waitress nodded and sprang through the open portal in a grace that
left him amazed.  The kimono swirled around Konatsu and disappeared
with the young man into the darkness beyond without the slightest
sound.  "Okay," Konatsu said softly.

Hikaru threw his leg over the sill, straddling it for a moment as he
held the window open above him.  Carefully he slipped the other leg
inside, his hands keeping the window from falling back down at any
given moment.  It simply wouldn't do to have his parents discover him
sneaking about with Konatsu.  It wasn't a big issue when it was just
him, but he wasn't certain how they would react.

As if handling something fragile, Gosunkugi lowered the window back
down.  He sweated nervously, worrying that at any moment the window
would creak loud enough to gain his parent's attention.  He knew they
were light sleepers like himself.  The window finally closed with the
slightest noise.  He sighed in relief, wiping the sweat from his brow.

The lights flicked on, bathing the room in a revealing, fluorescent
glow.  He froze where he stood, fear stricken.  Two gasps indicated
that Konatsu's presence had been discovered.  His heart pounded madly
in his chest as he awaited the scolding he assumed was forming in his
parents' mind.

A hand turned him around and he peered up into his father's gaunt
face.  However, instead of anger his father's eyes were welled with
tears.  Hikaru glanced about to see Konatsu bowing politely to his
mother before abruptly being caught up in a fierce embrace that
surprised the waitress.  His shorter mother bawled into the kimono,
causing a look of bewilderment to stamp itself permanently to
Konatsu's face.

"My son!" his father proclaimed, sweeping him up into a crushing
embrace that belied the frailty of his father's body.  "Today you have
truly become a man!  You have finally broken all of the ground rules!"

"Ground rules?" Konatsu gasped.

Hikaru was released as his father struck a pose with fists clenched.
"Yes, the ground rules," his father declared.  "The rules of the
Gosunkugi family are quite simple: no sneaking out of the house after
curfew, no intruding upon another person's privacy, but most
importantly, never under any circumstances bring a young woman into
the household without proper introductions!"

Hikaru flushed in embarrassment, unable to think of anything to do or
say to better the situation.  Why couldn't his parents be more
reasonable like the Tendous?

"Oh, there's no worry," Konatsu interjected with a nervous laugh.
"Other than wandering about after curfew, I'm sure Gosunkugi-sama
hasn't broken any of your rules."

His father gasped and his mother fainted.  Konatsu caught the woman as
she fell and held her, meeting Hikaru's eyes with an imploring
expression.

"My son!" his father cried out, turning to accost him by the shoulders
and shake him violently.  "To think you have progressed so far without
our knowledge."  His father released one of his shoulders to clench a
fist.  "It is time for me to explain the interactions between a man
and woman to better prepare you before you make your next step.  I can
only hope I am not too late."

Gosunkugi narrowed his eyes in annoyance.  He had already heard the
'talk', every time his father accidentally found one of his photos.
"I assure you, nothing is going to happen," Hikaru said flatly.  "This
is my friend, Konatsu, and a waitress..."

"So that is how you met," his father interrupted.  "I see all too
clearly now."  His father gestured to Konatsu, who was still holding
the elder woman.  "Young lass, please be a dear and put my wife to
bed.  Apparently the night has taken its toll upon her.  The room is
the second door on the right and the kitchen is downstairs, down the
hall and on your left."

Konatsu's eyes passed between father and son.  "Yes, sir," the
waitress yielded, bowing politely to them.  Konatsu hefted the elder
woman up without the slightest sign of strain and carried her out of
the room, closing the door behind them.

His father regarded the door.  He turned, flashing a grin at Hikaru.
"She's quite lovely," his father noted.  "How far have you gone with
her?"

"Father!" Hikaru barked, angry and filled with disbelief at the
directness of the question.  He calmed himself before explaining,
"Konatsu is only a friend of mine and needs a place to stay.  There's
nothing more to it."

His father nodded.  "I see," his father declared, though Hikaru
doubted it.  "A place to stay she certainly can have, but we don't
have any spare rooms."

"What about the guest room?" Hikaru asked, confused.

His father laughed, rubbing the back of his neck just below his unruly
mop of black hair.  "Well... um... it's under construction," his
father explained hastily.

Hikaru frowned, eyeing his father suspiciously.  "What are you up to?"
he asked.

"She'll have to stay with you until the guest room is fixed," his
father declared, following the statement with a heavy sigh.  "I know
it isn't very proper, but I see no other solution if she is to stay
with us.  You do want her to stay here, right?"

Hikaru considered backing out, but remembered he owed Nabiki.  She
would find out if he tossed Konatsu out on account of his parents
forcing him to share a room with the waitress.

"I suppose she can stay with me," he conceded.  Hikaru sighed.  He
didn't want the intrusion upon his privacy.  It was hard enough under
the conditions of living with his parents.

"Then it's settled then," his father cheered, slapping him heartily on
the back.  He handed a box to him.  "Here, you might need these.  I
remember what it was like to be young."  His father promptly left him,
laughing maniacally all the way to the door.

Hikaru's eyes widened at the box he was holding.  "Hey!" he protested.
"I already told you it's not like that!"

His words were lost upon his father, who had already disappeared down
the hall.

*****

Ranma walked down the street accompanied by several 'friends', each
carrying towels, shampoos and soaps for use at the public bathhouse.
He grimaced, his eyes warily spotting the shadows that lurked behind
them and had followed them most of the way.

"Your parents are wackos," he muttered to the frail boy beside him.
"They still don't know?"

Hikaru nodded before shaking his head in disbelief.  "I can't
understand it," the boy stated.  "I've tried everything short of
baring Konatsu's chest."

A pail smacked down upon Hikaru's head, causing his eyes to bulge out
of their sunken hollows for an instant.  The boy fell to the pavement
with a small groan.

"Short of!" Konatsu growled angrily, stomping over Gos's prone form.
"You did bare my chest!"

Ranma blinked, confused.  "You mean, that didn't convince them?" he
asked, incredulously.

He continued his pace to keep up with the group that included two of
the Tendou sisters and Shampoo.  Shampoo hadn't originally been with
them, but conveniently had been walking by at the time and decided to
join them.  Surprisingly, Akane hadn't objected, though Ranma
suspected that had much to do with Shampoo not hugging him on sight.

Gos appeared at his side, wagging a finger at him.  "It would have
worked had he not been wearing a swimsuit," Gos explained.  The boy
threw a suspicious glance in Konatsu's direction.  "You'd think he was
trying to pass as a girl."

"We were going to the beach that day, remember," Konatsu replied,
slightly aggravated.  "Don't blame me for your parents'
misunderstanding, Hikaru-sama."

"Hikaru-sama?" Nabiki echoed, regarding Konatsu with a questioning
glance.

Konatsu shrugged.  "I couldn't very well call him Gosunkugi-sama with
the rest of his family present," the waitress reasoned, tossing his
head aside as if to close the matter.  He continued to lead the party
forward, the soft brown slippers padding noiselessly upon the
sidewalk.

Nabiki snapped her burgundy towel about her neck, gripping her shampoo
in one hand and the end of the towel in the other.  "I doubt that
improved the situation," she commented, smiling at Gos.

"I know where you're coming from, man," Ranma said with a sigh,
glancing over at Akane.  "I'm used to dealing with dense people."

Akane whirled upon him, the lime-green towel dangling over her
shoulder losing its precarious perch.  "Excuse me!" she demanded.

Ranma threw his hands up in warding.  "Hey, hey," he pleaded.  "I was
talking about pops."

"Hrrrmmm!"  Akane turned her attention back to the sidewalk and
retrieved her towel, satisfied with the answer for now.

"Camera boy's parents always like this?" Shampoo asked, thumbing
behind her without looking.

Gos shook his head.  "Usually they don't take much interest in my
life," he started, pausing thoughtfully, "or simply don't notice me.
I only arouse their attention when they find things to suggest I'm
growing into a 'man', or at least father's deranged version of a man."

"How long do they keep this up?" Ranma asked, fanning himself with his
blue towel quite effectively.  It was a hot day and it wasn't even
noon yet.

"Usually they'd have forgotten about me by now," Gos declared, looking
glumly at his feet.  "But considering my 'girlfriend' is living with
me, they are constantly reminded of my existence."

"That's all interesting but why do we have to go to the public baths
with you?" Ranma demanded, annoyed.  "And why do I have to be a girl?"
He patted his breasts for emphasis.

Akane froze in her tracks.  "What?"

Everyone paused, witnessing Akane start to glow a soft blue.  "Um... I
suppose he doesn't have to be a girl," Gos said quickly.  "He can come
with me I suppose."

Ranma nodded vehemently.  "Of course, with Gosunkugi and Konatsu,"
Ranma agreed.  "I wouldn't think to go on the girls' side.  Nope, not
me!"

"I can't go to the boys' side," Konatsu huffed.  "That would be
improper behavior."

"Improper!?" Nabiki and Akane cried out in disbelief.

Konatsu jabbed his pinky out towards the shadows without making it
obvious that he knew the shadows were there.  "I don't know how
certain people would feel about me going to the boys' side," the
waitress declared.

Akane fumed.  "Maybe they would finally realize YOU ARE A GUY!" she
shouted.

Konatsu nodded in agreement, smiling.  "Of course they might, or maybe
they'll conclude I'm a girl that likes to peep on guys or a number of
other possibilities," he countered.  "I'm no longer sure how they
would take the news and though I would understand being kicked out, I
don't exactly have a place to stay otherwise."  The waitress gestured
to Ranma.  "Besides, I'm as sound and honest a man as Ranma.  I've
never looked before so why would I now."

Konatsu groaned as a newspaper dispenser was smashed down over his
head by an angry Akane.

*****

Gos counted out the change and slapped it down on the counter.  The
cashier nodded and gestured for them to go inside.  Gos waved farewell
to the Tendous and the Amazon and led the rest of the troupe towards
the men's lockers.

"Oh, miss," the cashier cried out.  "You're supposed to go with the
girls."

Konatsu turned on his heel, bowing politely.  "Oh, my apologies," the
waitress said softly.  "I forgot."

Ranma's brow twitched in annoyance.  The martial artist snatched the
ninja by the back of his kimono and dragged him to the locker rooms,
ignoring the protests of both the cashier and Konatsu.  Gos meekly
followed behind.

"Huh?" several voices chimed upon their entrance.

Gos glanced about the room, noting at least two dozen men in various
states of undress, staring at them.  Their faces changed from surprise
to fury in instants.

"Lecher!" one man shouted.

"Pervert!" cried another.

"Wait, wait," Ranma started, releasing Konatsu kimono to wave his
hands out in front of him defensively.  "This isn't what it looks
like."

The cashier appeared behind them, shoving Gos into the room.  "These
two were forcing this poor, young woman into your locker room," she
explained, offering a hand to Konatsu.

"Hey!" Ranma protested.  He eyed the waitress angrily.  "Konatsu, help
us out!"

"Of course," Konatsu said, getting to his feet with the aid of the
cashier.  "These two told me it was best for me to bathe on the men's
side because that was the proper thing for me to do."

Ranma bobbed his head in agreement.  "Exactly," he told the crowd.
"Now do you understand?"

"Oh, we understand," a man with a bowl cut and a towel wrapped about
his waist declared, stepping forward menacingly brandishing a mop
handle.  "You're taking advantage of this girl's innocence!"

"Let's get them!" cried another man from the crowd.

"No!  Wait!  Ow!"

*****

"I hate going to the public baths," Ranma pouted, sitting down on the
curb and sporting several bandages.  Gosunkugi sat down beside him,
silently nodding in agreement.

Konatsu sat down on his other side and sighed.  "I told you it
wouldn't work," Konatsu reminded them.  "There's no way they'll let me
in the boys' side."

"Certainly didn't help us much with that explanation," Ranma muttered,
tossing a stone into the road.  "How can you pass as a girl, anyways?
It's not like you have breasts."

"I've always passed as a girl," he explained with a shrug.  "I've
never given it thought as to how I do it."

"Maybe if we dress him up like a guy we could get him in," Gos
suggested.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Konatsu sighed.  "But your parents
are still watching," he declared.  "It frightens me to think what
they'll say about that last event already."

Ranma stood up, glancing down the street.  He knew there was a men's
clothing shop nearby, but since the girl's were already inside, he
didn't have Nabiki's cash to help fund his idea.

"Gos will simply have to take the blame for your actions," Ranma
declared.  "Who knows," Ranma added, shuddering at the thought of his
own mother's ideas, "they might even praise him for it."

"Well... that solves that problem," Gos admitted.  "Maybe we should
just call it quits."

"No," Ranma declared, waving a fist at the gaunt boy.  "I know we can
get Konatsu in the guys' side."

"Yea, well I'm going home," Gos muttered.  "I'm not interested in
getting any more poundings because you won't accept defeat."

Ranma hauled Gos up by the collar and shook him.  "Fine, you can quit
for all I care," Ranma said, annoyed.  "But this was your idea in the
first place.  Now help me in this last part and you can go home."

"Um... okay," Gos stammered, trembling.  "What do you need me to do?"

Ranma smirked.  "I need you to buy Konatsu a suit."

*****

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Konatsu asked softly, preening a
loose thread from the cuff of the white dress shirt he now wore.  As
promised, Gos had bought him a very charming, manly ensemble.  Even
the crimson red tie dangling down the center of his shirt had a
masculine aura to it.

"Of course," Ranma quipped.  "Don't you chicken out like Gos.  Just
act like a man and we're in."

Konatsu nodded.  They had managed to ditch the parents before arriving
at the shop and afterwards, Gos had taken leave of their company,
wishing them the best of luck.  Frankly, without Gos, Konatsu thought
it would be easier for the two of them to pass as girls' than men.

"Two please," Ranma said to the cashier, putting down a couple hundred
yen on the counter.  The cashier frowned at him.

"Don't I know you?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Who, me?" Ranma asked, laughing nervously.  "I come here all the time
so you might.  We'll be going now."  Ranma tugged Konatsu forward.
"Let's go, buddy."

"Hey, wait!" the cashier called after them.

Despite her protests, the cashier made no move to follow.  Ranma
stepped safely into the men's locker room with Konatsu in tow.  The
martial artist breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"That was close," Ranma admitted.  He then smiled at Konatsu.  "Let's
get to that bath then."

"Sure," Konatsu said, not sure if he should be enthusiastic as Ranma
sounded to be.  He walked over to one of the lockers and began to
undress.  He opened the metal locker and started with his shoes.

Lockers opened and closed all around him as men undressed.  Konatsu
glanced up several times, only to quickly subvert his eyes.  To him,
this was worse than bathing on the girls' side.  He had grown up
around women all his life and was quite familiar with them.  He knew
how they were supposed to be, how they thought, what was important to
them, or at least he thought he did.  Men were a different breed
entirely.

Despite being a man, Konatsu had never attempted to explore that fact.
There was nothing and nobody to tell him how to be a man.  His
sheltered life had prevented any accepted ideas of manhood to be
passed unto him.  Now that he was free, he was quite able to find the
commonly accepted ideas of manhood.  And for whatever reason, he found
no interest in them.

"Hey, Konatsu," Ranma called.  "Are you ready to hit the... what
the...?"

Konatsu faced his companion and blushed.  Ranma was nude, holding only
a bath pail and a towel, and for some odd reason was gawking at him.
The stare quickly dispersed his embarrassment.

"What?" he asked demurely.  "Is something wrong Ranma-sama?"

"You... you..." Ranma stammered, disbelief in his voice.  The martial
artist recovered, becoming angry almost instantly.  "What are you
wearing a bathing suit for?  You're supposed to be buck naked!"

"I never bathe nude," Konatsu responded indignantly.  He turned his
eyes aside and slapped at the pail in Ranma's hand.  "And neither
should you, Ranma-sama.  What if some lady happened by and saw you?"

"That's the whole point of being on the guys' side," Ranma screeched
at him.  There was a splash of water.  "Huh?"

Konatsu noted the change in voice.  He blinked in surprise at the now
female Ranma.  "What were you carrying water in your pail for?"
Konatsu asked, concluding that to be the source of Ranma's bane.
"That's kind of dumb."

Ranma twitched in anger, eyes closed and fists trembling.  "There
wasn't water in the pail," Ranma explained.  "Somebody just splashed
me on purpose."

A ball shaped figure appeared between Ranma's breasts, clutching
tightly to them.  "Oh, how sweet," the ball cooed.  "I haven't seen
you two in so long.  Did you miss me?"

Ranma drove an elbow into the ball's head, dislodging the beast.  "You
little freak," Ranma growled, grabbing her towel and whipping it
around her bust in a single motion.  "I'm going to get you for this!"

The ball then bounced up onto two stubby little feet and pointed at
Ranma.  "Yea, come and get me," the maroon colored ball with a white
tuft of hair proclaimed.  The ball zipped up and landed on Konatsu's
shoulder.

"Who are you?" Konatsu asked, bewildered.

"Not to criticize," the ball told the waitress, "but neither of you
understand the gift that has been given you.  Why, if I could pass as
a girl, I'd bathe on the girls' side everyday."

Konatsu growled.  "I was going to, but he insisted otherwise," he
declared, throwing an accusatory finger towards Ranma.

"Don't let him fool you, Konatsu," Ranma said through gritted teeth.
"He's not exactly thinking the same way you are."

The ball glared evilly at Ranma.  "Ranma!" it shouted.  "How dare you
disrespect the art of peeping like that!  I won't allow it!"  The ball
produced a smaller ball that had a lit fuse connected to it.  It
tossed the weapon towards Ranma.  Ranma dove aside before the weapon
exploded, sending wooden shards of benches everywhere.

Konatsu grabbed the ball by its wrinkled head, his brow twitching
angrily.  "Who said..." he started, turning the ball around to face
him, "I was into peeping!"  Konatsu punted the ball up, creating a
perfect hole in the ceiling.  The sound of cursing faded off into the
distance.

Konatsu clapped his hands together, dusting them off.  "It's men like
that that give all of us a bad reputation," the waitress commented.

"Huh huh huh," a deep voice chortled nearby.  Konatsu blinked, turning
to regard a drooling fat man with arms outstretched towards him.

"Aaaaaa!  Stay away!" Ranma shrieked, batting at the hands of two men
that descended quickly upon the martial artist.

Konatsu hid his face in his palm, shoulders twitching with annoyance.
"This is why I said it would never work," he commented mostly to
himself.  He looked up and snapped two fingers forward in a cutting
gesture.  He stood straight and absently smoothed out his blue floral
one-piece much to his aggressors' delight.

"Kunoichi secret special attack," he started, pointing out to the
crowd.  "Kiss of the wind.  Yaaaaaa!"  Konatsu dived forward.  He
twisted and careened through the mass of adversaries with unnatural
speed.  As he passed, by the droves men fell unconscious from a simple
touch.

Ranma blinked.  "Wow!" he marveled over the heaps of defeated foes.
"How did you do that?"

"Like the wind blowing through the trees, tenderly caressing the
leaves until they flutter free and descend to the earthen soil below,"
Konatsu began, "this technique was created for the single purpose of
utilizing a man's own desire to incapacitate him."

"Meaning?"

"I had to kiss them all," Konatsu admitted, blushing furiously.

Ranma joined the mass of unconscious bodies on the floor.

*****

Nabiki frowned in the general direction of the men's side of the
public baths.  The sudden ruckus from over the wall had died down,
leaving an eerie silence in its wake.  Eventually it was broken by the
worried whispers of the women nearby, many casting mistrustful glares
in the wall's direction.

Tossing a glance over her bare shoulder, Nabiki pouted in realization
that Akane was denying interest in the events on the other side.
Shampoo lounged beside Akane, the Amazon's arms back with both hands
holding the back of her head as she reclined in the shallow waters of
the hot bath.

"Don't ask, I don't care," Akane huffed, arms crossed beneath her pert
breasts.

Frowning again as an image of Ranma declaring Akane to be flatchested
passed through her thoughts, Nabiki glanced down at her own breasts, a
sick feeling of inadequecy flaring up.  She wondered how Ranma could
possibly call Akane that when her sister was slightly more endowed
than the average Japanese female.  A glance at Shampoo put things
quickly in perspective and the uneasy feeling was chucked into a dark
corner of her mind for a late night's musing.

"What they doing?" Shampoo asked, her eyes closed, shifting her seated
position so she would slip further into the water.

Nabiki shrugged.  "I suppose they are still trying to get Konatsu in
the other side," she guessed.  "They either succeeded or got thrown
out again."

"Shampoo think it might been better to let waitress boy in here," the
Amazon declared.  "At least be part of fun instead of wonder what go
on."

Nabiki doubted anything other than Akane pounding Konatsu would have
happened had they followed that course of action.  She felt certain
that Konatsu had successfully gone to the public baths as a girl
before.

"I'd sooner let Ranma bathe on the girls' side," Akane declared, teeth
clenched.

"What waitress boy do to you?" the Amazon asked, brow furrowed in
puzzlement as she sat upright in the water.

"Why are you defending his actions?" Akane shot back, sitting up and
scowling at the chinese girl.

"Shampoo trust him," the Amazon replied with a shrug.  "No reason not
to trust."

"And this would have nothing to do with your date with him," Nabiki
stated, scooting over in the bath to lean against the Amazon as she
favored her victim with a sly grin.

Shampoo gaped at her in shock.  "She what?" Akane demanded, also
astonished.

"Oh, sister dear, your lack of competition is due to Shampoo's new
love interest," Nabiki drawled, leaning on Shampoo's shoulder with her
forearm.  The expression on the Amazon's face assured her she was in
no danger, yet.  "Why else would Ukyou abandon such a loyal servant?"

"I never knew!" Akane gasped, turning away to watch the water with
wide eyes.

"It no true!" Shampoo squeaked, finally finding her voice.  Realizing
it was time to withdraw, Nabiki sat upright a safe arm's distance away
from the Amazon.  Shampoo leaned towards her, clutching a fist to the
top of her breast.  "Shampoo only friend!  Just like friend with Ranma
now!  Nothing more!"

Nabiki smiled.  "Sure and I suppose if Ranma asked for your hand in
marriage you'd turn him down," she surmised, grinning slyly.  There
was no way Shampoo could slide through that with a yes or no.  No
would imply feelings for Konatsu.

"Yes!" Shampoo answered firmly.  "Shampoo only chose not to pursue!
If Ranma want, Ranma have!"  Shampoo gestured at herself as if
presenting a prize.

Nabiki smirked.  "So if Konatsu wanted you, you would do the same,"
she concluded.  Shampoo's shook her head animatedly, but Nabiki shook
hers as well.  "You said Konatsu was a friend like Ranma."

"That not what Shampoo mean," the Amazon scowled.

"Prove it," Nabiki curtly replied.  Akane glowered at her to which
Nabiki replied with a gaze she hoped would prevent interruption.

"How?"

"Gosunkugi and Konatsu are both complaining about this arrangement I
set up," Nabiki started, "so maybe you can extend a helping hand and
take Konatsu in.  It certainly would do your business good."

Shampoo's eyes narrowed in distrust.  "How this prove friendship?"

"You took in Mousse," Nabiki reminded the Amazon.

"Not same thing," Shampoo countered.  "We unable keep duck boy away
from cafe so decide to make use of his annoying presence."

"Just trust me," Nabiki declared, reclining back in the water.
"Friends do things like that for each other."

Shampoo frowned, but visibly relaxed.  "Suppose," she yielded.  "You
Japanese have strange way show friendship."

Nabiki arched an eyebrow at that statement, but refrained from
commenting.  She could only assume something else had been asked of
the Amazon in the name of friendship.

*****

Ranma stared up at the stars above, watching the small dots twinkle in
a clear, night sky.  He stretched out languidly, the feeling of
cooling sand shifting beneath him.

"Mmmmm," he intoned.  "We should have done this from the beginning."

"I agree," Konatsu commented from beside him, resting on a towel with
his hands folded across his chest.  "It's a crime that we were banned
from that place.  It's not like we did anything wrong."

Ranma shrugged, closing his eyes and dismissing the thought.  "Happens
all the time," he said.  "They'll forget about the matter in a couple
weeks."

"I'm not going in there without a swimsuit regardless of what you
say," Konatsu warned him.  "I don't care if that is unmanly.  There is
no reason why a man can't be modest."

"Then wear trunks if you're shy," Ranma commented.  "Geez.  Seeing a
man's chest is nothing incriminating."

"I'll wear trunks when you wear trunks to the beach," Konatsu
declared, nodding over at him.

Ranma grimaced.  He had worn trunks not long ago and had paid a dear
lesson for it, which was why he was back to one pieces.  He sighed.
Nothing changed immediately.  Other than his body at the drop of a
pail.

"Well don't count me in your adventures," Ranma declared, sore at
having lost the entire day in trying to get Konatsu in the boys' side.

"There's nothing adventurous about it," Konatsu said, yawning.  "I
simply go in, bathe and leave.  It's nothing I haven't seen before."

"I suppose," Ranma conceded.  "You were raised by women after all.
Doesn't it... bother you at all."

"Of course," Konatsu admitted.  "I know as a man, I will be attracted
to them.  And I am.  But if there is one thing that I've learned about
women, it's that they are physically all the same.  If I give in to
the physical, I could never truly say that I love any of them.  It is
the spirit that defines who is attractive and who is not."

"That's not exactly what I meant," Ranma said.  "I meant, doesn't it
show."

Konatsu flushed.  "I... I train hard," he offered meekly.

Ranma blinked.  "I suppose I don't have to worry about that though,"
Ranma muttered.

"I wonder what will happen to Hikaru-sama now that Shampoo extended an
offer for room and board in exchange for my services," Konatsu
murmured softly.

"I completely forgot about him," Ranma said, surprised at how easily
that had happened.  After all, this whole incident of going to the
bathhouse had been the little twit's idea.  He supposed whatever
happened was less than what the spineless wonder deserved.

*****

Hikaru sulked in his bedroom, flipping pages of his photo album in
mild interest.  Konatsu hadn't returned and it was getting very late.
Arguing voices carried up to him from downstairs.  He didn't even have
to strain to hear the topic of concern.

"Oh, more poor boy, cast aside for another man," his father wept.
"What is the world coming to nowadays when a man of intelligence can't
win over a man of brute strength?"

"Come dear," his mother said soothingly.  "It's not that much a loss.
I mean the girl was trying to go into the men's side of the bathhouse.
I'm sure Hikaru can find a nicer girl."

His father bawled in response.  "No, it will never happen," his father
choked through sobs.  "That girl was good for Hikaru.  She was polite,
courteous, helpful around the house.  Why even yesterday you commented
what a wondrous help she was in the kitchen."

His mother sighed.  "I know, dear," she admitted, "but just because
she was your idea of a perfect wife, doesn't mean she was.  A nice
girl wouldn't have been separated from the others like that if she
didn't want to be."

"No," his father cried out in a seething voice.  "I know it was that
boy, that Ranma, that made her do it.  I heard as much from the
bushes.  They wanted her to go to the men's side, talking all this
nonsense as if the poor child was a man."

Gosunkugi sighed, trying to tune any further ranting out of his head.
He flipped another page, devoted entirely to his beloved Akane.  He
smiled, remembering the day that he took the picture with a nostalgia
that bordered obsession.

"Hikaru!" his father yelled from his side.

He fell out of his chair, the album carried along in his arms.  He hit
the floor awkwardly, the shock to his elbow sending the album across
the floor.  Photos scattered about the room.

"How dare you allow that girl to leave!" his father growled at him.
The expression turned to one of curiosity towards the photos strewn
about the floor.  "What's this?"

Hikaru winced in pain but it was forgotten when he realized his entire
Akane collection was plastered across the floor in view to his father.
"Aaaaa!!!!" Hikaru screamed, gathering his feet under him and charging
towards the window.

His father chased after him, waving a pornographic photo in a tight
fist.  "I see how you lost that girl now," his father howled, striding
across the room.

Hikaru dove through the window, glass splintering about the tiered
roof.  He rolled to his feet and sprung to the neighbor's roof.

"Come back here, son!" his father cried, pouncing through the window
after him.  "It's time your obsession with that Tendou girl came to an
end.  Look at what its cost you."

Hikaru didn't want to look back, let alone think about what his father
was thinking it had cost him.  He shuddered once in revulsion but fear
kept his feet pumping as he charged across the roof.  The sound of
tiles being displaced behind him assured that his father was still
close behind.

"All the trouble we went through to make you happy and you let her
slip away," his father carried on.  "We even had the invitations
prepared."

Hikaru cried in frustration as he leapt to the next roof.  "But I
don't want to marry a guy!" he whimpered, his eyes closed as he
continued to run.

"Come back here!"

-----

This didn't really turn out how I originally planned it.  The focus was 
supposed to be Gos but it shifted over to Konatsu.  Oh well.  It still works 
and covers most of what I originally planned to throw into this release with 
the exception of Gos having a photo album of Ranma-chan and getting trounced 
for it.

Comments and criticism are always welcome.

zinyadel@hotmail.com

Ciaow

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