Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sat, 30 Nov 2002 21:03:44 -0800 Christopher Olsen
<christopherolsen28@hotmail.com> wrote:
Everyone had gathered downstairs in the living room. Despite the people
missing, the room was extremely crowded. Soun and Genma sat on the porch
playing shogi to pass the time, and Ryoga sat nearby, trying to stay in one
place so he wouldn't get lost. Ranko and Ukyo sat together at the small
living room table, talking quietly to Nodoka, who was sitting across from
Ranma, who kept blushing redly at the direct suggestions that the child in
front of him was making. Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Venus were
standing in a corner, talking with Akane and Nabiki, while Kasumi kept
wandering in and out of the kitchen, shuttling food and drinks to everyone
as they talked.
The sentence starting with Ranko is rather run-on, but that may be a
reasonable indication of how chaotic things are.
Dr. Tofu sat {nearby : near} Soun and Genma, pretending to be interested in the
game, while trying to avoid looking directly at his fianc�e. Shampoo
herself had changed into one of the many Chinese dresses she had left at the
Tendo home in case of emergency, and was lounging calmly just behind the
doctor, eyeing him thoughtfully from time to time.
"That way, it won't be a secret anymore." Venus supplied cheerfully.
"It'll be a conspiracy!"
Amazingly sensible.
Sailor Mars looked thoughtful. "Let me see... Ranma, Ranko, Akane,
Kasumi, Johnathon-san... that's it, really, at least those are the only
people we've told directly." She hesitated. "Michael-san might have
guessed one or two of us. He knows who Makoto is for sure."
Don't Belledandy, Skuld, and Urd know? I guess they weren't told directly.
Nabiki sighed. "That's going to be tough to sell... I don't know how
{daddy : Daddy} will react if he finds out your folks don't know... and Nodoka's
another problem. She's a bit touchy about these kind of secrets nowadays."
Sailor Mars sighed. "I'm afraid we don't have much choice in the matter.
If the people in this room don't all agree to keep our secret, it's bound
to come out, sooner or later. If they do tell our folks... at least it
would be better {then : than} if they found out on
their own."
The second line of this paragraph is indented when I wouldn't have expected
it to be. Probably a problem with text conversion.
Sailor Venus stepped forward with a wink. "I'm Minako Aino!" She
abruptly detransformed, seeming pleased at all the attention that got. "I'm
also Akane Tendo the second... some of the time." She added, waving to
Soun. "{Hi pop : Hi, Pop}!" Nabiki sighed and looked at the ceiling in frustration
while Akane and Kasumi gaped at her in shock.
Akane Tendo stood in Minako's place blinking, then waved nervously.
"Er... {hi dad : Hi, Dad}." There was an audible thud as Soun keeled over and she
winced. "Darn it Mina...." Akane huffed angrily to herself. "You could
have handled that a lot better!"
Dr. Agasa shrugged. "Very interesting fiction... if it is fiction. What
would Holmes say in this situation?"
I'm not sure that removing the impossible would help here. <G>
Conan snapped. "Who could I tell? If I tell the {girls : girl's} mother, would she
even believe me?"
It would be better if he joins the conspiracy, but that would be too easy.
Akane {Tendo : Saotome} glared at her husband. "Ukyo, Shampoo and I can keep watch
too you know, Ranma. You three aren't the only ones that have fought demons
before."
The two {half-cat's : half-cats} dressed quietly, Johnathon only taking the time to
pull on his boxers, and Misty throwing a light robe over her shoulders but
not bothering to belt it up before they exited the room together. As they
had half expected, they found Kasumi sitting in the living room and slowly
sipping a cup of tea while watching a late night movie.
Ami rose with only slight difficulty and began to pace her cage in
agitation, something burning deep within, her tail swishing behind her. <
This... is not good, not good at all. What am I doing here... wherever this
is? How long was I asleep for?> She moved her neck slightly up and down.
< Still hurts, but not {barely : nearly} as badly... I suppose It's been a day or two
at least. Why was I transferred here? I'm sure I was at the Tokyo Zoo the
last time I was awake... They must have drugged my food for the plane
flight.>
From there her fantasies had taken many different paths. Johnathon had
not been married at the {tie : time}, she had felt no guilt at the dreams, although
after his marriage to Kasumi she had filed that particular fantasy away.
Now however, she found herself remembering each of those fantasies in great
detail.
I guess it's either it's her time anyway or she's being affected by Clio
too. It seems a bit careless to put her in the same cage with two
potential mates at the same time though; one could get hurt if the
dominance displays get out of hand.
Ami hesitated, then slowly nodded her head. < Oh good.> The voice in her
head said in a relieved tone. < I wasn't sure if that would work. Most
panthers can't really understand very much when I try and talk to them....>
Ami blinked in confusion and the panther looking her in the eyes ducked his
head in embarrassment. < Not that you're just another panther. I knew you
were something special as soon as I first saw you.>
Great pickup line. :}b
Ami definitely has her own inner battle to fight. I look forward to the
next exciting chapter.
I didn't see any incorrectly joined words though some of the paragraphs had
lines split in unexpected places. They shouldn't be a problem at the
website.
Will you be able to get the chapters after 29 up on your website soon?