Yep, what I've been threatening to do for more than a year now has finally
seen the light of day. 'Things' isn't abandoned, I just needed a break is
all. And this idea has been on the backburner for some time. So close your
eyes and cover your ears...

You're going to sing a medley of the Backstreet Boy's Greatest Hits in
falsetto F sharp?

Prologue

The early morning hour made Kasumi Tendou yawn. She raised one hand to her
mouth while she continued frying vegetables in the skillet with the other.
She observed their blackening condition through bleary eyes, satisfied at

"Blackening" has such scary connotations, much like Akane's cooking.

their progress. Sometimes cooking for her family was a chore, but she did
care for them and her willingness to do such was her way of expressing

that.

There was also the fact that had Kasumi not done it, Akane would quickly
volunteer to take her place, and then it would be over for all of them.

No,

it was simply better this way.

At least this Kasumi is neither a saint nor completely oblivious to her
surroundings.

A second yawn overcame her. She reached into her bathrobe and scratched at
an itchy spot under her breast. As she removed the skillet from the stove
and placed the vegetables into a mixing bowl, she noted she was far too
young to be this tired. She was only nineteen, and should have had far

more

endurance. It was hard to believe she was feeling the effects of the
previous night, or more accurately, the very early morning. Club hopping
with Yui and the girls was fun, but it had taken its toll. It used to be

she

could party all night long, grab a couple hours of sleep, and be wide

awake

and ready for a full day of school. Now all it took was a six pack and a
couple hours of dancing to tire her out; it was disgraceful.

Maybe its the the fact that Yui kept necking her. And those hickeys took
forever to heal. Although Kasumi had to admit that Yui had the best Sakura
fragrance she had ever encountered. (See Vampire Princess Yui)

There was another detail that made Kasumi even more depressed than her

lack

of endurance. Almost none of the guys at the clubs had hit on her. Usually
she had her pick of the lot when going out, but last night there hadn't

been

more than a handful of come on's by only the worst of the men. True, it

was

a quiet night for the club and there were far fewer men than usual, but

even

Yui had some luck with a couple of cute guys hitting on her. Maybe now

that

Kasumi was out of high school, she was beginning to turn frumpy. She hoped
that wasn't the case, but why else would she have no luck with guys trying
to pick her up?

Maybe its the broadsword. Oops, wrong fic.

The doorbell rang. No one else was awake yet, so Kasumi turned from her

food

preparation and headed to the front door. Her bare feet crossed the wood
floor, chilling her slightly and making her feel more awake than before.

She

came to the door and opened it. The visitor was a plain-looking boy with
several plastic bags in his hands. There was nothing extraordinary about
him; he was a standard pimply-faced sixteen year old, one Kasumi didn't
recognize. She wondered if he was one of Akane's friends. It wasn't a

school

day, but perhaps she had agreed to do something early today.

Ah, this reality's Akane doesn't "hate boys".

"This is the Tendou residence, isn't it?" the youth asked, grimacing as he
shifted his burden uncomfortably.

Then it finally clicked "Oh, the groceries." Kasumi decided she must have
been really tired to have forgotten about their delivery this morning.
Cooking was bad enough, but she refused to do the shopping as well. Having
groceries delivered made things so much easier. "Come inside," she
instructed him.

"Not on the first date."

The youth did so, placing the bags on a nearby stand. He looked at her
expectedly. "Ten thousand yen."

Kasumi looked around. Of course her purse would be upstairs, and she had

no

money on her. She was about to tell the boy to wait a moment when a second
idea came to her. She stood in front of him, undid the tie at her waist

and

opened her robe.

Then the boy dropped his pants and it was all Kasumi could do to not break
into uproarious laughter. He *was* rather young for this kind of fun.

The boy's look didn't change as he went from staring at Kasumi's face to

her

body. Eyes riveted to her, he pulled out his wallet, handed her ten

thousand

yen, then turned and exited the house with a profound stiffness in his
stride.

Kasumi retied the robe and closed the door. Oh yes, she still had what it
took.

A bit of Nabiki as well........

Since this is a lemon, no one under eighteen should read this for fear of
having your eyes burn out of your head.

Or never wanting to leave the keyboard ever again.

Writer's note: Yep, we're going to start at the very beginning again, but
hopefully the twists will keep you interested. We're going to be humor
oriented this time out. There will be an underlying plot to everything, so
it's not a true PWP lemon, but it's definitely not meant to be a very
'serious' work either. It's really nothing more than an excuse for some
basic naughtiness and good fun.

Two great tastes taste great together. Except fugu and nori flavoured
ice-cream.

Rain fell heavily upon the streets of Nerima, deluging crowds of people

who

paid it no mind. Their attention was instead focused on a panda pursuing a
red-haired girl. The pair were running through the streets, the girl

barely

managing to stay ahead of the giant creature.

And the fact that she was stark-naked didn't help. It would be a bad day for
Nerima General Hospital as they had to deal with the influx of traffic
accident victims.

The panda held up a sign. *But we have to go meet my old friend.*

The girl shouted, "No way, you stupid old tub of lard! I want to find a

cure

to my condition! The only reason I came back to Japan was because you told
me you knew someone that could fix this! I should have known better!"

After all these years Ranma still trusts what his father says? Einstein he's
not.

The panda lunged at her, only to meet a foot that connected solidly with

his

jaw. The blow sent the dampened creature hard to the ground, cracking the
pavement with the impact.

The girl unleashed a satisfied grin at her handiwork. "That takes care of
that. Now to figure out a way to get back to China." She turned her back

to

the panda and began to walk off.

Still lying on the street, the panda held up a sign. *He has three teenage
daughters.*

"What do they look like?"

"Growf!" <Pulls out picture of Soun> (Probably like him but with longer
hair)

"... I'm going back to China old man!"

The girl stopped in mid-stride, turned around and walked up to the panda.
"Well geez, Pop, why didn't you say that in the first place?" She helped

the

panda to his feet and brushed some of the street grime from his fur. Now

far

more respectful, the girl said, "Lead the way, Old Man."

Most of the passersby thought they could make out a look of recrimination

on

the panda's features when it stared at the girl, if such a feeling could

be

communicated on its animalistic features. However, whatever expression the
creature held disappeared as it lumbered down the street, its human
companion following merrily along.

After all, after screwing with an entire village of Amazons, a soft, local
girl would be nice.

Xxxxxxx

Soun Tendou looked at the postcard in his hand. So it was finally that

time,

was it? He wondered how the girls were going to react to the information

he

was about to give them. It would make things... interesting, to say the
least. Perhaps he should have informed them beforehand to prepare them for
what was to come. No, knowing his girls, any previous knowledge of the

issue

would not make a bit of difference when it came time to make a choice.
Either they would accept things or they would not. In the latter case it
would fall to him to convince them of the necessity of the matter.

Promises

had to be upheld, after all, and this was possibly the most important of
them all.

"Now girls, when Akane was born I made a promise with my old friend Genma.
All of you have to participate in his son's Rite of Manhood. He must perform
adequately for at least twenty-four straight hours or his mother will force
him to commit seppuku."

"........"

"Daddy, did we ever mention that you have really wierd friends?"

"Oh my, a man who can go only twenty-four hours isn't very 'dilligent' is
he?"

"Exactly my point Sis."

Now the moment of truth was upon him, even more quickly than he would have
expected. Today was the date mentioned on the card. Obviously the mail
service was becoming inept if it took them that long to deliver a mere
postcard.

Considering that it came from China, its a wonder he even got the postcard
in the first place. I wonder if there ever was an Elseworlds where the
postcard was never delivered?

Course decided, Soun situated himself at the dinner table, striking the

pose

"a pose"

he thought would express the importance of the matter. Satisfied, he

raised

Which he learned from the Kundali Masters at the centre of the Earth and
involved more contortions than most legal contracts.

his hand to his mouth and shouted out, "Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!" There

could

be no doubt the cry reached throughout his home. The final wheel had been
set in motion.

He listened for the sounds of running feet only to hear a faint moan from
Nabiki's room. Soun then resigned himself to a long wait.

Within moments his three daughters appeared. Seeing their father sitting

at

the table in a familiar manner, one of seriousness, the three sat down
opposite him at the table and regarded him with looks ranging from

Kasumi's

warm one, to Nabiki's guarded pseudo-glare.

Soun cleared his throat. "I have something very important to inform you
about. A friend of mine is arriving with his son today, and they are going
to be staying with us for a while."

"Just as one of you will be the inheritor of the Tendo Anything-Goes
Orgy-Ken, his son is the heir to the Saotome-Ryu Tantric Kickboxing. It is
our wish to unite the two schools."

 "This is sort of at the last minute, isn't it, Father?" Kasumi clucked at
her father's neglect "I'll have to prepare bedding for them in one of the
spare rooms."

"How long are the staying?" Nabiki asked.

"they"

Akane stared at her sister in disappointment. "Nabiki, they're guests and
Dad's friends. It doesn't matter how long they're going to stay."

Rare to see such a hospitable Akane.

"True," Nabiki admitted. "It's not like I'm the one that's going to be
cleaning up after them."

Kasumi stiffened slightly. "Exactly how long did you say they were going

to

stay, Father?"

Soun placed his hand behind his head and laughed embarrassingly.

The response made all three of the girls tense up. Nabiki took the lead.
"All right Daddy, spill it. What aren't you telling us?"

"Well, you see there's just this little problem with Ranma. When he was
young, his father threw him into a pit of ravenous succubi and the boy has
never been the same since. He cowers from women but the moment they disrobe
he becomes a veritable monster of lust."

He shifted nervously. "Yes, well, they might be staying for a very long

time

is all.."

All three stared at him suspiciously.

Soun cursed their ability to read him so easily; a trait they had picked

up

from their mother. Now that there was no hope of easing them into the

idea,

he decided to come clean and inform them. He knew he should have waited

for

a better opportunity when they might have been more receptive to the plan.
Like when they were drunk, or something. "Oh yes. It was also our

intention

to have one of you marry the boy. Joining the schools and such. Saotome

and

I came up with the idea and thought it a good idea at the time." He

laughed

again.

"Daddy, every idea you had when you were drunk was 'a good idea at the
time'."

Suspicion turned to surprise.

Kasumi was the first to speak this time. "Is he older? I don't like

younger

men. They're so inexperienced."

Nabiki asked, "Is he hung? I'm tired of going out with average guys. I

want

someone that's really going to make me feel it in the morning."

Akane stared with disapproval at her sisters. "Come on, you guys. There's
more to men than just how good they are at sex."

"How strong they are so that they can dominate you is important as well."

Nabiki gestured grandly. "Oh yes, there's handsome older guys that are
semi-bishonen to really get your motor running."

Akane blushed. "Cut it out, Nabiki."

Nabiki continued. "And then there's their perfectly gentlemanly attitude
towards you instead of looking at you like a piece of meat they want to
devour. Of course one must consider the reason for that being-"

Well I always did regard Akane as the least attractive of the Tendo sisters.
Of the female Ranma cast actually.

"I said knock it off!" Akane snapped.

Nabiki did so, making it clear she was backing off on her own and not
because of the implied threat.

Deciding to get back some of her own, Akane said, "Why are you interested
anyway? I thought you were going out with Matsui."

"That was last month."

"I'm always looking for something better," Nabiki said nonchalantly.

"Oh, so he dumped you." Kasumi gave her younger sister a sympathetic gaze.

Nabiki shrugged. "Yeah. Evidently blow jobs weren't enough to keep him in
line anymore."

"You have fleeced him out of a lot of money," Akane reminded her.

No matter how the universe changes, Nabiki will always be Nabiki.

Rather than be offended, Nabiki shrugged. "Relationships are give and

take,

and I like being treated right. It's not like he didn't get anything out

of

it, you know. Lots of guys would like to go out with me."

"Lots of guys have gone out with you," Akane said snidely.

"Not the whole soccer team, and not all at the same time," Nabiki teased.

Akane turned a bright shade of red. "That was only because I lost a bet!

It

was a one time thing! And It wasn't the whole team! A lot of them had
girlfriends and refused, and others weren't interested in that sort of
thing!"

"And I couldn't walk straight for a month!"

Kasumi looked at her curiously. "What's this all about?"

Anger switched to embarrassment. "Well, you see, it was kind of at the

start

of the school year. Yuka was going on and on about her new boyfriend and

how

he was such a stud on the soccer team and that they were going to really
kick butt this year and win the championship. Except the soccer team

sucks.

They finished 1-10 last year. So Sayuri and I were making fun of her and I
sort of said that if the team could win it all, I'd sleep with the whole

lot

of them." Akane shook her fist at the skies. "How was I to know those

losers

would hear about it and win all of their games by at least three goals?!"

"Never underestimate what a man will go through with the temptation of

free

sex placed before him," Nabiki said sagely.

Wiser words were hardly spoken.

"So how many did you take on?" Kasumi asked.

Akane considered that. "Well, I was pretty drunk at the time, so it's not
like I kept count. I know I'd never been so sore in my life afterwards. I
could barely walk straight for a week. And like I said, not all the guys
were interested in it. Around ten or so, probably."

Kasumi said, "That's impressive. I only did four a couple of times back in
high school. It was never very enjoyable. Boys tend to be very quick and

get

in the way of one another when they try anything at the same time, so I

gave

up on that sort of thing. Oh my, is there something wrong, Father?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just as apoplectic fit (no that's not a typo). WAAH! MY
DAUGHTERS ARE ALL NYMPHOMANIACS!"

The other two girls looked to see their father had turned a bright shade

of

red and was staring at them awkwardly. "I'd really prefer it if you

wouldn't

talk about such things in front of me."

The girls looked at him quizzically. Akane said, "How come? Mom talked

liked

this all the time at the dinner table and you never seemed to mind."

Nabiki said, "Yeah. I mean, you let her keep working as a 'Full-Service'
Masseuse even after we were born. She talked shop constantly and you never
complained."

"It was either that or eat mallet."

"Everything we learned about sex came from her," Kasumi said wistfully.

"Which definitely helped our popularity," Nabiki quipped.

I'll say.

Soun began to sweat. This never became easier to deal with. True, Ayumi

had

possessed a voracious sexual appetite --it was one of the initial reasons
Soun had married her-- but even he couldn't keep up with her near

limitless

endurance. After a couple of years of monogamy, he allowed (insisted,
actually) his wife return to her job in order to leave him with enough
energy to do things, like eat and breathe. Despite her innate tendencies

he

had hoped the girls would have been somewhat more normal when it came to
their sex drives --well, they were compared to their mother-- but they

still

tended be very energetic, and certainly as liberated in attitude as Ayumi
was. He had wanted them to grow up more reserved, but Ayumi would have

none

of that. She insisted they be as sexually easygoing as she had been,
claiming it was one of the keys to her happiness in life. He hadn't the
energy to fight the matter (literally, since she could still wear him out
even on top of her job) and so the girls were like this. It made for a

very

trying fatherhood.

And an obscene contraceptives bill.

"It's all that damned Happosai's fault," Soun muttered.

"You're happy about what?" Kasumi asked.

"I'm happy you're so receptive to the idea of Ranma coming to live here,"
Soun lied. Some secrets were best left where they were, like buried under
tons of rubble with spirit wards placed on them.

All good things...........

"His name's Ranma?" Akane asked.

Nabiki shook her head. "'Wild Horse'. Probably a misname. Sort of like the
fat sumo they call 'Tiny'."

"Now, Father, keep in mind none of us said we'd marry him," Kasumi

reminded

him.

Now if only this universe's Ranma was a blazing homosexual with utterly no
interest in the Tendo girls, it might get highly interesting to see if
they'd compete to "bring him around".

"We're just keeping our minds open," Akane said.

"So what's he like?" Nabiki asked.

"I don't know. I've never met the boy."

Silence met Soun.

However, the encounter didn't last long.

"Encounter" might not be the best word. "Situation" might work better.

Nabiki slapped her hand to her forehead. "So he could be some ugly,

stupid,

poor, loser and you want us to marry him."

Kasumi shook her head. "I really think you should have learned what he is
like before considering him proper marriage material, Father. There might

be

something unsuitable about him."

Akane said, "What if he's some psycho that's left a trail of dead and

maimed

people behind him and has a bunch of people trying to kill him and he
fixates on me and I don't realize he's nuts and end up inadvertently being
his accomplice when I try to defend him from those seeking righteous
vengeance?"

"Not that this has ever happened before, mind. Eheheheheheheh............."

The other Tendos began to inch slowly away from Akane.

"I always knew that Hibiki boy was trouble."

"Oh, shut up Kasumi."

The others stared at her.

"Okay, it is a completely silly idea," Akane admitted. "But the point is h

e

could be screwed up and we don't know it."

"I have faith that Saotome raised the boy right," Soun said. Raising him
away from Nodoka could only help in that regard. "However, if the boy is
completely unsuitable, I will dissolve the arrangement. Ah, there is one
other thing, though. I think it would be best if you don't mention your...
colorful pasts."

"So Kasumi went berserk and killed an entire chapter of the local Yakuze.
Big deal."

Nabiki laughed at that. "Get real, Daddy. I am not going to pretend I'm

some

proper Japanese pristine virgin. If I think a guy is marriage material,

he's

getting to know what I'm really all about long before the wedding night."

The other girls nodded in agreement.

"Well, perhaps not bragging about your exploits would suffice," Soun
relented. "Some men are uneasy around women how openly boast about their
experiences, and Ranma might be the type that's easily intimidated."

Little does he know that Ranma is the kind to never back down from a
challenge.

"Very well," Kasumi agreed. "Besides, he's essentially a stranger. I
wouldn't talk to a stranger that way."

"Good point," Akane agreed.

Soun decided that would have to suffice. While it was true the boy might

be

'liberated' in attitude when it came to sexual partners, it would be best

to

take things slowly. If he was, the truth would be discovered soon enough.

If

he wasn't, he might grow to accept the idea if he was slowly introduced to
it.

If he didn't run screaming for the hills that is.

A knock on the door ended the conversation. Nabiki went to answer it,

before

the others could get to their feet. Within moments, she called out.

"Daddy,

did you order a panda?"

That brought the remaining three Tendous to the front door. Standing on

the

front step in front of the doorway  was a large panda and a short girl.

"Hi, I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this," she said with a smile.

The words are familiar but the smile is new. Perhaps a leer would work.

Nabiki considered the girl. "Well, Daddy, it appears that little oversight
of yours about not feeling out the situation has indeed led to ruin. Tough
luck about the family promise and everything."

"But Saotome told me he had a boy!" Soun insisted.

"Maybe that's what he started out as, but I'd say the end result is
something else." Nabiki poked the newcomer's breast. "Silicone enhancement
if ever I saw it."

Actually silicone would work poorly unless there were already a substantial
amount of adipose around the mammary gland. Especially considering how
"healthy" Ranma-chan is.

Ranma-chan "Ooo"d at the sensation. "Actually they're real, sort of," she
said, then reached out and felt Nabiki's breast. "I bet these are one
hundred percent natural, too."

When the handling lasted longer than a mere poke, and traveled more into
'groping' territory, Nabiki pinched the flesh on the back of the offending
appendage. The pain made Ranma-chan wince and release her hold.

Hmm, never seen him ever give up so easily.

"Actually I am a guy," Ranma-chan insisted.

Nabiki said, "Well, of course you are. No amount of surgery can change

what

you are . I could dye my hair blonde, but that doesn't really make me a
blonde."

Ranma-chan was about to say something, when Akane stepped between the two,
"Nabiki stop making fun of Ranma. If someone wishes to change their gender
then they should have the right to do so without having people harass

them."

Well, this Akane is a lot more understanding that her usual self. The
bathroom scene ought to be interesting though.

"Thanks for sticking up for me," Ranma-chan said, then thought about the
statement. "Err, wait a minute. I haven't had a-"

"No need to explain anything," Akane said.

"Yes, we'll accept you for who you are," Kasumi added.

"Yeah, what they said. It just wasn't what I was expecting was all,"

Nabiki

said.

"But then again, Pitt-sama is unlikely to step into Nerima soon."

"He was supposed to be a boy!" Soun wailed.

The panda held up a sign. *Isn't it nice they're so accepting of your
condition, Ranma?*

"Pop, there's a serious misunderstanding here," Ranma-chan said.

"I'm sure you had your reasons for doing what you did," Kasumi supplied
happily.

Ranma-chan was about to say something else, and just gave up. "Mind if I
clean up?" she finally asked.

Kasumi ushered him inside. "Of course. The bath is this way."

Would Akane kiss him or kill him? Hmm............

xxxxxxxxxxx

As Akane made her way back from her workout in the dojo, she felt

relieved.

The whole situation with the potential fiancee had been fraught with
tension. At first it was at the idea her father and sisters might have

tried

to foist it on her. That would have been bad, since she had her sights set
on a man already. True, he had managed to resist her advances so far, but
every woman had struck out with him to date, so Akane didn't feel

dejected.

She was certain she could win him over. It would just take time is all.

She

did have something of a reputation after all (a well deserved one, she

would

admit), but she had vowed to change her ways for him. If she persevered

long

enough, he would see the truth, realize her sincerity, judge her to be
worthy, and then they would be together.

"Which would happen the same time Kuno bought a clue," thought Akane as she
sighed heavily, stark reality intruding into her fantasies once again.

But that had been a concern for a while, and she had long since learned to
deal with that. The real source of her increase in tension was the
revelation about Ranma. Like Nabiki, it had caught her off-guard. Unlike
Nabiki, her heart had gone out to someone that had undoubtedly had to go
through life being a social outcast for their choice in lifestyle. Sort of
like Sayuri, though not as extreme. It made Akane want to reach out and

help

the girl. Acceptance was the way to go. She'd be Ranma's friend and help
him/her anyway she needed. In a non-romantic way, of course. She had no
interest in girls, even if a lesbian was one of her best friends. And

since

Ranma wanted to be a girl, Akane would regard 'her' as such.

Even if all of her friends had their weekly "slumber parties" without her.
Maybe Ranma would like to join them if her proclivities still lay in the
fairer gender.

Akane paused in her thoughts as she arrived at the bathroom. The occupied
sign wasn't up, which meant Ranma must have been done with her bath. That
was probably for the best. Akane had no fascination with the end results

of

whatever was done to Ranma to make her the way she was. It wasn't the
additions that were so bad, but knowing that parts (parts Akane had

enjoyed

on other men) had been cut off and tossed out in the garbage was kind of
creepy.

Or preserved in formaldehyde and used as a teaching tool for college
students, pick your poison.

Pushing such thoughts from her mind, Akane entered the bath and began to
remove her clothing.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The now male Ranma continued luxuriating in the bath. Living life on the
road made it rare that he could enjoy the simple pleasures, such as
privately soaking in a tub. Public baths were the best he and his father
could ever do. Settling down for a while, in an actual home with a roof

over

his head, sounded pretty darn good to him. No more getting rained on all

the

time. No more unexpected sex changing. No more chaos or crazy people

trying

to hunt him down and kill him over stupid misunderstandings. He would have
peace at last.

Ah, his stop in the Amazon village was less than pleasant I see. I thought
that he might have gone the way of most Altered Destinies and made a baby
with Shampoo.

There was also the added bonus of whom he was staying with. The conditions
couldn't be better, especially with three attractive girls living under

the

same roof, one of which he was supposed to marry. Of course he was only
sixteen and didn't want to settle down yet, but there was no reason why he
couldn't 'evaluate' the girls' marriage potential and get some serious
action in the process. After all, he was still young, and had the right to
sow his wild oats. Of course, he hadn't sown any yet, but he sure wanted

to.

He was just a victim of circumstance was all, and not some loser that
couldn't score with the chicks. Moving around most of the time hadn't
allowed him to get to know any girls. The few times he had settled down in
one place for any real length of time... well, there were always
complications of some kind that destroyed any chance of romance, let alone
cheap sex. And the biggest complication of all had been...

Incontinence, which could be really embarrassing in bed.

No. He had to let it go. Anger would serve no purpose now. It was over and
in the past. He was free of the 'Unspoken One's damnable presence for all
time, and it was best to let it remain that way. He had to get on with his
life. Although were they to ever cross paths again, well, there was no
telling what would happen, other than it wouldn't be pretty.

Ranma observed the pruney texture his skin had taken. That was the

telltale

sign he had enjoyed luxuriating in the furo long enough. Reluctantly he

rose

out of the bath and headed towards the sliding partition in the bathroom,
lost deep in thought of how he was going to explain his curse to the

girls.

Well this might be a good way. Show them just how much of a man he really
was.

As Ranma slid the door open, he was confronted with a sight that caught

him

completely by surprise. There was Akane, naked save for a towel in her

hands

that only served to cover an indecent portion of her body. He let out a

low,

"Ooo," and remained motionless, a deer caught in a pair of oncoming
headlights. Unable to react immediately, he saw with his peripheral vision

a

frown form on her features. Pervious experience informed him of what was

to

come. His body automatically tensed up (well, the rest of his body tensed
up; the part between his legs had already begun to do just that upon

seeing

a naked girl) as he prepared to receive the thunderous slap she would
unleash upon him.

I see he has experience in rejection but not the deed itself.

But then Akane turned around, wrapping the towel around her body, and
stomped out of the bath.

Ranma was left with only one burning thought as she exited the bathroom.
"She has a seriously cute butt."

xxxxxxxxxx

Akane was in a proper anger as she stormed into Nabiki's room. She saw

that

the owner of said room was occupying it, sitting at a desk as she chewed

on

a pencil and read over a book. Nabiki looked up in surprise at the girl.

Akane said, "Look, from now on tell your boyfriends to put the occupied

sign

on the bath when they're using it. I walked in there and the jerk got a

free

show."

"But Akane, you always give out free shows."

"Not unless I want to!"

"Um, Akane, I would except for one tiny detail: I don't have any

boyfriends

over."

"Oh." Temporarily derailed, Akane considered the new information. "Do you
think he's Kasumi's?"

"That would be a switch. She usually doesn't bring them home." Nabiki rose
from her chair. "Let's go ask."

Now a party two, the pair headed to Kasumi's room and knocked on the door.
After identifying themselves, she let them in.

One could never be too careful who one lets into one's room especially if
she were planning on conquering the world and making sex-slaves out of the
entire male populace.

Kasumi was just starting to dress. At the moment all she wore were a lacy,
almost see-through, black bra that enhanced her already ample bust., and a
matching garter with one nylon already attached it. She was in the process
of rolling the second one up her long, trim leg. All that was left was to
attach the remaining nylon and add panties to the ensemble before her
undergarments would be complete. She stopped what she was doing, unmindful
of her partially dressed state, and said to her sisters, "What is it?"

y7ti8nbgyuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh98yrrrrtidididididididididididididididididid
idididwolaffffb;eeeowow
<Collapses on keyboard with a terminal nosebleed>

"Getting ready for a hot date?" Nabiki asked.

"No, I was just going to wear something casual around the house," Kasumi
answered.

"Not exactly my idea of casual," Akane commented as she looked the

underwear

over and felt a twinge of jealousy. She wouldn't look that good in such
sensual garments.

Came from the flat chest and wide hips.

"That's only because of who you've dated," Kasumi said. "Young men don't
appreciate provocative underwear. All they're concerned with is getting

you

out of them. They don't take time to understand what a woman goes through

to

impress them."

"Makes things easier in my opinion. Less hassle," Nabiki said.

"Tear away underwear is also fun."

"We're getting off track," Akane said. "Was that your guy who was in the
bath?"

"No. I didn't ask anyone over. Perhaps he was Ranma's boyfriend?" Kasumi
suggested.

"I do not have a boyfriend," a male voice said from behind the girls. A
moment later, Ranma forced his way between them. "Listen up. Like I was
trying to tell you before, I'm really a..." he trailed off as he finally
espied Kasumi's mostly unclothed state. His attention was transfixed by

the

sight of the tiny triangle of hair between her legs, obviously meticulous
maintained in order for it to be so perfect shaped. Not a hair was out of
place. It was like a work of art.

I would delete "like" so as to confirm Ranma's opinion of Kasumi's nether
regions.

A backfist delivered perfectly between the eyes ended his ability to
appreciate the scenery. He was sent reeling backward and into the hall.

Akane stalked menacingly toward him. "All right. It's pretty obvious

you're

some sort of peeper that broke into the house hoping for some cheap

thrills.

Well, I've got news for you, Pal. What you're going to get isn't going to

be

either cheap or thrilling." She cracked her knuckles.

"Okay, unless you're into pain but that's not something I can help."

Sneaking into the Tendo household looking for Akane would be the perfect way
a masochist Gosungki would get his kicks for example.

"But I'm not-" Ranma couldn't get out another word as Akane swung at him
again. With forewarning, he backed away from the punch. The move drew

Akane

away from the room and further out in the hall in order to follow him.

Kasumi, now dressed in a robe, came out from the doorway to stand beside
Nabiki and watch the fight.

Akane evaluated her opponent. "Okay, so you don't suck. That means I can

go

all out against you." She launched a third punch at him.

At least she hasn't tried to kick him in the jewels yet.

Again Ranma darted out of the way by leaping up in the air and going
directly above Akane, not allowing her blow to come close. Now that she

was

overextended, it was simple matter for him to shove her with a hand while

he

hung upside down above her. He spun his body in mid-air, landing on his

feet

while she stumbled onto the floor.

"Would you cut it out?!" Ranma said, directing his attention to Akane, who
was already starting to return to her feet.

With an evil smile, Akane said, "normally I have much better uses for 'it'
than that." Seeing Ranma's slack-jawed expression, Akane triumphantly
uppercut him into next Thursday. "Sayonara sucker," Akane snickered at
Ranma's diminishing form.

"Excuse me, Peeper. I need your opinion on something," Nabiki said.

Ranma turned around, "I am not a peeper-"

Nabiki then grabbed the front of Kasumi's robe and forced it open,

allowing

Ranma to get an eyeful of her again.

"Ooo," he said, as his attention was once again riveted to the girls lower
regions

"girl's"

The distraction was enough to allow a powerful haymaker to connect with

the

back of Ranma's skull. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he
fell to the floor, unconscious.

"Nabiki!" Kasumi scolded as she closed her robe again, this time making

sure

to tie the belt at the waist.

"It was for our protection," Nabiki contended. "It was obvious he was way
better than Akane. We needed an equalizer and that was the only one I had

on

hand."

"Next time use your own!"

"Come on Oneechan, you know you love it."

Akane stared menacingly over the fallen boy. "So what should we do with

the

peeper?"

Nabiki nudged his unconscious form with her toe. "Not bad looking. Not bad
at all." She said to Akane. "You said you saw him naked in the bath,

right?

What's he like? Was he hung?"

Akane considered that. "He was definitely in real good shape. It's obvious
he works out constantly, but not with big body builder type muscles. He's
kind of good-looking. Average length from what I could tell. It is just an
estimate since he wasn't at full extension or anything."

Well considering spinal damage can cause erections (peripriatism), they
might find out sooner than they'd expected.

Nabiki considered that. "Too bad. If he was bigger, I'd say we tie him up
and make him our sex slave."

Kasumi looked at her aghast. "We can't just tie up any wandering stranger
who comes around and use him as a giant sex toy." She reconsidered her
words. "Well, yes, it is theoretically possible, but highly improper. If
word ever got out we'd have people trying to break into our home
constantly."

I know I would. :P

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "I was only kidding, Sis."

"Oh, sometimes it's hard to tell," Kasumi admitted. "Perhaps we should

turn

him over to the police?"

Nabiki snorted derisively at that. "It would be more humane to drown him

in

the pond out back then leave him to them. You know how our local
constabulary feels about 'Pre-verts'," Nabiki drawled the last word.

"Perverts"?

Akane said, "I could tie him up and hang him upside down from a tree. Then
we could start beating him with kendo sticks. We have enough of them in

the

dojo."

Shinai or bokken. Probably shinai due to the bamboo's nasty habit of
catching flesh.

"Treat him like a giant pi�ata?" Nabiki asked, mentally picturing it in

her

mind. "I can see that."

Kasumi gave a tiny clap of her hands in delightful anticipation. "Oh, I

like

hitting pi�atas. This sounds like it could be fun."

"I'll get the ropes," Akane said, quickly heading to the dojo

Trust Akane to advocate "Peace Through Superior Firepower" policies.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Genma sighed, now somewhat more happy about having regained his human

form.

He was a bit put off, though. This was supposed to be a day of joy, the

two

houses finally on their way to being united at last. But instead of the
unbridled enthusiasm he would have dreamed about, he still held deep
reservations about the whole thing. Perhaps it would have been better to
wait a while, at least until after he and the boy had their respective
curses cured.

NOW he thinks of getting the curse cured first.

On the other hand, Ranma's curse might have been a blessing in disguise,
although that seemed less likely by the day. Shortly after the initial

shock

of what Jusenkyou had done to them, Genma reconsidered things. Ranma had
been growing increasingly unruly of late, especially when it came to the
matter of women. Actually he was borderline lascivious at times. Most

women

didn't like men quite that enthusiastic when it came to romancing them and
to be honest, Ranma was terrible when it came to seducing the opposite

sex.

It was those tendencies that made Genma worry that he might scare off the
Tendou girls. If they had turned out like their mother, then it wouldn't

be

a problem, but if they were the least bit normal in their tendencies, it
would potentially be disastrous. This was a critical time for the joining

of

the houses. Any small mistake could cost them everything, and the marriage
might not take place.

Like turning up at the Tendo doorstep as a panda and a girl? Introspection
really doesn't become Genma.

Really, it was all Nodoka's fault. Genma knew he should have taken the boy
away when he was three or so, but she would not hear of it. Instead she
insisted that Ranma be raised as she saw fit, and the woman had some very
odd ideas of what dealings between the two genders entailed. Of course,
Genma had no complaints about it in early days of their relationship, but
the circumstances surrounding him during that time in his life were far

from

usual. And as much as he loved his wife, her ideas on appropriate behavior
and tremendous sexual appetite proved too great a strain over the long

term.

So Genma had been forced to steal away with the boy in the middle of the
night, hoping to take him away from her harmful influences before it was

too

late.

One of the first times that the "training trip" was undertaken with
altruistic reasons in mind.

However the damage seemed to have been done. Ranma was far too aggressive
when it came to matters of the opposite sex, even for the giant sack of
hormones teenagers became; more of his mother's influence corrupting him.
That he had almost no success with girls only seemed to make him more
determined to try again, usually applying the same methods that had

already

failed once before. Even turning into a girl did nothing to decrease his
desires. Already he had used his gender changing to his advantage a number
of times when it came to going into women's public baths and such (and
suffered tremendous beatings for it when he was inevitably splashed with

hot

water). Genma had no doubts it would only get worse unless the boy settled
down soon. Which was why Genma was so desperate to make the plan work, and
so concerned Ranma would blow such a golden opportunity.

Well Ranma is remarkably thick-headed. If told that it would be impossible
to bash his way through a wall with his head, he'd likely crack his skull
trying to prove you wrong.

Sometimes he wondered if it was simply Happosai's teachings coming back to
the fore. True, it was the fault of those teachings that had caused he and

"True, it was those teaching that eventually caused"

Soun to tie the old bastard up and chuck him into a cave with the
explosives, but perhaps in his haste to escape from the Master and his
demanding lifestyle, Genma had gone too far. Now with old age Genma was
starting to see some form of sound reasoning in living life the Master's
way. It was exasperating. Sometimes Genma wondered if life wasn't a giant
pendulum and he was stuck forever swinging back and forth from one extreme
to the next.

"You seem distracted, Saotome."

Genma turned to his companion. "Just considering matters. By the way,
Tendou, do the girls act overly much like their mother?"

"The sex or the violent tendencies? Yes."

Soun began to sweat. "Perhaps a little. Why do you ask?"

"I suspected as much. That would explain what's going on outside." Genma
pointed out the window.

Glancing that way, Soun saw Akane hauling the bound and gagged Ranma over

a

tree limb, allowing him to dangle in mid-air upside down. She then tied

him

off on a peg leftover from the volleyball net they sometimes hung in back.
Once properly secured, the girls spaced themselves evenly apart around

him,

and drew back their kendo sticks, ignoring the squirming youth's muffled
protests.

I think Kuno would've been able to die happy in Ranma's position.

Soun shot to his feet. "I don't think they're starting a courting ritual
with him. I think they really mean to beat him senseless."

Genma sighed as he followed Soun out the back and shouted at the girls to
wait. So much for things turning out easy. It looked like it was going to

be

the hard way again.

It was always the hard way.

Actually it was always the easy way but that never seemed to work out quite
right.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Wow, so you really are a guy." Nabiki poured a kettle of hot water over

the

girl's soaked head and watched in awe as Ranma's form shifted gender for

the

sixth time in as many tens of seconds.

Ranma spat out some of the water. "I just had a bath, you know."

"I just never met someone like that," Nabiki said, amazed and amused at

the

same time. "So, do you swing both ways?"

"No way! I'm only straight. Allow me to demonstrate my heterosexuality."

He

embraced Nabiki and puckered up.

Yup, this one's truly desperate.

The kettle met his lips with a resounding clang. "No thanks. I'll take

your

word for it." Nabiki eased herself out of his grasp and situated herself
between her sisters again.

Soun was positively beaming as he announced, "Since Ranma is actually a

boy,

there isn't any reason for one of you to not marry him. We can decide on

who

he should marry right now."

"Unless we have other interests at the moment," Akane said.

"Or we're looking for someone more mature," Kasumi reminded him.

"Or we don't really want to be tied down at the moment," Nabiki finished.

"In other words, no go?"

"Why Ranma, discouraged so soon?"

"Nah, its just that I sorta picked up a boatload of fiancees along the way."

Ranma panicked. Ideally he had hoped the girls would fight over the right

to

be engaged to him, making it easy to sleep with all of them. That they

were

all attractive made him burn with desire for that outcome even more. But
with all of them balking, he had to think fast before permanent damage was
done. This was his big chance to get laid. There was no way he would let

it

pass up without a fight. Fortunately, he had 'a plan' to make things go

more

smoothly.

Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, for it tolls for thee Saotome.

Subtly Ranma rolled back the right sleeve of his shirt and turned the

inner

forearm towards his eyes. He had prepared a list of things to do to get a
girl's interest. And he knew the list was legitimate and would work. After
all, he had copied it right out of 'Cosmo'.

He looked at the words, and mentally cursed. With all the water Nabiki had
doused him with, the letters had smeared until they were almost illegible.
He brought his arm up and squinted at the first word. Something about
flattening them? He made a fist, then realized it was to 'Flatter' them.

When in doubt, grovel.

Ranma unclenched his fist and cleared his throat. "I have to agree, though
for different reasons. It's obvious all of these girls have qualities

which

would make them suitable to marry." Seeing he had the girls' interest, he
continued, starting with Kasumi. "I see that you are a mature woman that
takes her responsibilities seriously, but it does nothing to diminish your
beauty." Especially her pussy, which he had seen twice already and was

eager

to catch a glimpse of a third time, and under more intimate conditions.

And hopefully without a great deal of pain being inflicted on him
immediately afterwards.

Seeing Kasumi accept the compliment with a smile, Ranma turned to Nabiki.
"And I can see that you're a bright and charming girl that knows what she
wants. Very shrewd and intelligent, which, while some men might find
intimidating, I find alluring."

Ranma felt a surge of pride as she obviously reconsidered her initial
assessment. His plan was working. This was the sort of sheer genius even

his

father could never come up with. He continued on to Akane. "And you are
obviously active and into athletics. You also have one of the nicest asses

I

have ever seen."

Oops, fell off the target zone there.

He saw Akane frown slightly at that. Kasumi and Nabiki seemed a bit taken
aback.

Panicking, Ranma said, "Um, you also have really firm breasts, and unlike
some guys that have a fixation on big ones, I find them really appealing,
even if they aren't as big as mine when I'm in my cursed form." He saw the
effect that had on Kasumi and Nabiki: disapproval and general amusement
respectively.

Strike 2.

He turned to them, words coming out with a machine-gun like speed. "Not

that

you two have bad chests either. I like them too. I like breasts of all
sizes, unless they are absolutely flat-chested, since I think a woman

should

be shaped like a woman, which all three of you are." He began sweating,

even

his father and Mr. Tendou looked irritated at his comments.

He's hopeless. Ah well, Ukyo and Shampoo might be more amenable.

Nabiki leaned forward and patted him on the top of the head. "And you were
doing so good too, Ranma. Very nice try." She rose to her feet and said to
the two fathers, "How about this? We'll not reject the engagement out of
hand. We'll have Ranma live under our roof and get to know him better, and
after the appropriate amount of time, we can make our choice."

Both men looked relieved. Soun said, "Yes, there's no need to rush into
anything."

Genma nodded his head in agreement, but for different reasons. He could

not

help feeling something was a bit off, and the recriminations about the
marriage were still there. It would definitely be for the best to wait

until

he felt better about the situation.

Genma? Guilty? This is new. Aside from Gendo Ikari, he's one of the more
hated characters in fanfiction.

Ranma appeared satisfied as well. Spending some time with the girls, they
could get to know him better. And once they were impressed with his
manliness they would sleep with him. Like his mother always said, women
enjoyed having their bodies appreciated by manly men. And the more manly

the

man, the more appreciation they would show. And Ranma was certainly a

manly

man, curse notwithstanding.

It was the natural order to things, and his mother would never steer him
wrong. But even if those teachings didn't result in his desired outcome,

one

thing was for certain in staying with the Tendous.

It was sure going to be an interesting time.

There is a reason why "may you live in interesting times" is a curse and not
a blessing.


Overall, worth quite a few chuckles. It will be interesting to see if it is
indeed possible to write a long-standing lemon with an actual plot.

Regards,
Gary


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