Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma 1/2] For the Honor of the House - Chapter One
From: Michael A Chase
Date: 11/24/2002, 2:12 PM
To: Innocent Bystanders <FFML@anifics.com>, Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>


Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Fri, 15 Nov 2002 18:31:15 -0800 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org> wrote:

But then, Ukyou also knew she was trying to distract herself from the
issue. The last three times news had come for her, it had been for
Konatsu to inform her that another brother {was dying : had died}. For the good of
the Empire, of course. Now, she expected that either Kenshiro or Hajime
were also dead. Or worse, her father.

"Your father and his sons saved the crown prince's life during a battle
in Hokkaido," he said conversationally. He rubbed his hands together,
not meeting her eyes, instead gazing into some unknowable distance. "The
long and short of it is that your family's honor has been restored."

Interesting that it's "Your father and his sons", not "Your father and
brothers".

"You know well enough," Konatsu assured her. "You know enough to make do,
and {: to} learn more. Your family is young, and new to the title. Mistakes may
be made. The other families will know you still stand high in the
Emperor's grace, and for that, overlook your errors for a while. Long
enough for you to learn, at least."

Stunned by the deflection, Shan Pu was thrown to the dirt, spinning and
sliding for a meter before coming to a rest, dazed, her arm at her side
awkwardly. Ranma dropped his hands to the strip of cloth that {suspended : suported}
both his swords, and groaned, pulling out a worn piece of iron. "My
tessen," he grumped, unfolding the iron fan slowly. "Damn it. How do you
expect to take me back alive if you're trying to kill me?"

Sometimes you use 'Shan Pu' and sometimes 'Shan-Pu'.  One or the other
should be changed.

She smiled {victoriously : viciously} before wincing, and asking in a quiet voice, "Can
you fix my shoulder?"

"Yes, and the family is honor."

This Genma must be very different from the usual one.

Once back under the care of Daimonji, Ukyou was given a room, and what
funds remained from the selling of her father's small commercial empire.
Ukyou was surprised to see how much was there -- nearly three million
yen. Daimonji explained it as careful investments.

Would they use yen or some other unit like ryo?

Daimonji said nothing of the {affair : matter}, merely waiting quietly outside {of :}
the room that she had been given for the few days it would take her
father and brothers to finish up whatever {matters :} they were attending
with the Emperor. She opened the door to face him, and he said nothing,
merely scrutinizing her.

Daimonji said nothing, reclining in his seat, and staring upwards. "It's
been nearly eleven years," he mused. "Eleven years since I've last seen
you, and longer since I've seen your father. Eleven years he and your
{brother : brothers} fought for the Emperor." He sighed, rubbing at his temples. "I'm
nothing more than a tea merchant, and not for much longer, I suspect."
Smiling wryly, he dropped his hands to his lap. "My sons seldom speak to
me, only ever telling me that with modern medicines I could live longer."

She picked up the phone when she found it, grimacing at the dial for a
moment before entering Kenzan's number.

Not buttons?  Apparently modern technology is supposed to be beneath the
ruling or fighting classes.

Away from the house, Ukyou trotted off towards the meeting point she had
told the men to wait at, already expecting that they would have lost the
Saotome men. Still, she had met Kintaro, and that was something. He had
reminded her a lot of the Saotome boy that she had tried to fight --
some dishonorable vixen had restrained her from her second attack. His
voice was similar, but much calmer.

Interesting.  I thought that Ukyou got to the safe house ahead of Ranma
because she already knew about it's connection to the Saotomes.  Now I have
to figure out why she was there after all.  I would have expected her to
have her own safe places arranged before the Saotomes arrived.  Her being
at a Saotome safe house is a very long coincidence unless there was
something about it that drew her.

"Since you've brought things this far, take the girl as a concubine. It
should offset the damage your curse will do to your mother."

To or with?

I'm looking forward to more.  The history behind the social structure must
be fascinating.  It sounds like current day with late Shoganate social
structure and the Emperor restored.

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