Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sun, 17 Nov 2002 22:38:51 -0500 "Robert Haynie Jr."
<kenjiko2@knology.net> wrote:
After nearly a year and a half of intermittent writer's block, I'm finally
making some progress on this piece. Not perfectly happy with it, but here's
what I've got so far. Just to prove I'm still alive...
Glad to see more of this. I hope you'll be able to do something with
Paragon and Redheads soon too.
(If Rumiko Takahashi ever saw this she'd either kill me or buy
the story. Me, I'm wearing a bulletproof vest.)
Wise choice. :}b
(At the moment, she was conveniently forgetting little things
like the Mark of the Battling God, the Tunnel of Love, Herb and the
Chiisuton, a little incident with a magic koi rod, and quite a few
other incidents that would suggest otherwise.)
But who's counting.
Ranma re-entered, having managed to send her father into a state
of pandaness, and shook the water from her hair. "Old man managed to
get a good one in today. Say, the furo is O.K. right now, and we
made sure the Soap isn't there-- just the ordinary stuff. You want a
bath, while I get you some clothes?"
Danger! Danger! Danger!
"Forgot your towel, Lady Godiva."
Where's Nabiki and her camera?
"After that thing with the demon? Yup. Said she'd try one just
to see why we wear them, and because she got a bit flustered when she
learned why Daisuke {was : has been} sitting so damn close to the court recently."
For some reason, Ryoga felt a severe sense of dread. Something
was about to happen to her that would truly cause new and untold
humiliation to descend on her, something that would haunt her
nightmares for the rest of her life.
I guess she was paying attention. Though she probably feels that way most
of the time.
Where if merely challenged with finding things in her backpack
there would have been no problem-- even SHE couldn't get lost in a
backpack-- her attempts to help Kasumi in the kitchen ( mostly out of
boredom) were creating disasters that rivaled {Akanes' : Akane's} worst-- almost.
Kasumi managed to defer any such disaster from long experience with
Akane, but... it was different this time.
Kasumi's calling Ryoga Ryoga-san, wouldn't she be saying Ryoga-chan?
You could almost forget that the two girls just ahead of her
weren't really girls at all-- well, one wasn't, but again, in the
case of Ranma it became uncertain. After all, most boys didn't have
strong opinions on {weither : whether} shaving or waxing was preferable.
Most don't have the training either.
"Oh, so you still want to borrow my leathers--"
"Never said I was a tramp, either."
Good comeback from Ryoga. I guess she'd need to get a few in.
Ten minutes later she screamed.
I really hope that what made her scream is revealed soon.
And Akane and Ranma remained uncertain. Had they thought to
check the title page of the atlas, all would have been revealed, and
the mystery solved.
The words "Soujiro Hibiki, Chief Cartographer" would have
explained SOMETHING anyway.
That's what they get for using Ryoga's atlas.