By the way, assume all grammar/spelling commetns have gone into the list
of things to fix...

On Wed, 20 Nov 2002 21:33:28 -0800 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
writes:

        Jadeite frowned as he entered his chambers.  Something was
amiss... there was a foul scent in the air, a corruption even 

greater

than usual.  The shadows seemed alive, moving and whispering in 

the

dimly lit room.  The former general whirled around, certain he 

that

heard someone sneaking up on him, but no intruder was revealed.

        Ack! Formatting....

Was there a problem?

        Jadeite never completed his thought, as he finally felt 

the

source of all his problems.  Good arm grasping at a nearby table,
Jadeite slowly pulled himself up.  "By all the Ten..." he 

muttered,

ignoring the anachronism of the ancient oath.

        "Aaron Nowack! YOU did this to me!"

        Well, you DID say the source of all his problems. ;)

MWAHAHAHA!  Dance, little General!  Dance for my pleasure!

        Outside the palace, the skies opened up and spewed forth
millennia of pent-up wrath.  Rain lashed against the dark castle 

walls,

leaving shallow, steaming pits where it struck.  When the storm 

cleared,

the low clouds did as well, revealing to one and all the blazing 

sky

known as Metallia's Eye.

        The entire sky, or just a sun?

The entire sky.  (THe sky of the Dark Kingdom is a uniform, glowing red
in this fic.)

        Silence greeted her pronouncement.  Frown deepening, 

Haruka

reached to activate the message.  However, her hand stopped at the 

sound

of four beeps.  As one, the Inner Senshi reached for their
communicators.

        Ya know, I'm willing to bet that the message would have 
been... mmm... 
BAD, if it had gotten played just then.

Since it was along the lines of, "The Champions have ambushed and
probably killed me.", you might be right.

        "I'm sorry, everyone," Ami's voice could be heard 

emanating from

the devices.  "I'm going to be just a little bit longer.  I need 

to make

sure I'm not followed."

        A second later, the room was flooded with feedback, as each 
of the 
communicators fed the signal into one another in a continous loop.

Heh.

 A moment's work on her computer, and the recording 

she had

made began to play from the appropriate point.

        How could she record it on the computer that wasn't there, 
exactly?

She recorded it on her communicator, and just uploaded it to the
computer.

        "We'll hear the rest of the story tomorrow," Haruka told 

Ami,

and shortly thereafter the three were speeding to the questionable
comfort of their home.

        The last 'three' being mentioned being... Hotaru, Haruka, 
and... Ami? ;)

Hotaru, Haruka, and Michiru.  Will fix.

        The retelling took quite some time, and when Meno finished 

the

tale of the Dark Kingdom's first return, it was closer to midnight 

than

to sunfall.  The tale of an incident involving two aliens was much
shorter.  When he reached this point, Meno paused, and pondered 

what to

say next.

        Then, it came to him. "But why take my word for it? I've got 
the first 
few seasons on DVD."

Sorry, this isn't Dark Kingdom Refugees... (At l;east I _think_ that's
the fic I read where through various interdimensional hijinks some
characters got their hands on the first season of Sailor Moon.  I could
be wrong, I suppose.)

Tamori smiled slightly.  "Were it as easy as you 
fear to

cause a paradox, surely somewhere, somewhen in the vast universe 

it

would have already occurred."

        The future of the present, and then the future's future.

Or something.  Time travel is bad for the English language.
 

        Ikawa smiled.  "Very well.  So, now that we are fighting
again... how shall we win this war?"
        "Kill the Senshi," Uji stated quietly.

        ... uh....

        You mean Ami and Hermes totally failed to reach ANY form of 
accord? They 
seemed to be getting along so well, last time....

Well, they reached an accord in the sense that they were able to avoid
fighting each other when each had information the other wanted.  When it
comes to the larger issues, well... no.

        Tamori had opened his door when he realized that he heard
footsteps in the adjacent room... Hotaru's.  Who could it be?  

Tamori

quietly walked over to the next door and slowly opened it, careful 

not

to make any noise.  When he realized who was in the room, he let 

out a

gasp of amazement.

        Er... I can't remember the situation that put him in the 
same house as 
Hotaru, but shouldn't he exercise a bit more caution, entering a 
girl's 
room?

True.  Will rework.

        Sailor Pluto laughed harshly.  "This is too rich, Chronus. 

 One

would think I would have to protect her from you."

        Actually it is.

        Kill Saturn, protect Hotaru... I like this irony.

The joys of secret identities.

        One thing I neglected to mention before -- it's quite 
foolish of the 
Champions to declare against the Senshi, given that the Youma threat 
hasn't been conclusively dealt with. Only fools fight a war on two 
fronts.

It is rather foolish.  A perfectly rational group wouldn't... but no one
ever said the Champions were perfectly rational...

        Then again, these aren't armies, and the Champions are 
letting emotion 
rule them, so they aren't making the best judgements they could.

Exactly.

        The firestorm only killed a single youma, but succeeded in
forcing them out of his path.  Ares raced forward, but his charge 

came

to a halt as another group of youma confronted him.

        Attack description? ;)

        I want to see a fountain of flame two meters wide rising 
from around the 
sword and flinging youma to-and-fro, at least one of them howling 
something in inhuman terror as its flesh is rendered into ash, bub!

        ... er... don't mind me. ^_^;

I've never been very good with description. ^_^

        "Ice Storm!"  As shards of ice assailed the youma, Hermes 

joined

his brother, joined shortly thereafter by Medea and Chronus.

        C'mon! A shower of icy death, jagged crystals of ice harder 
than steel 
tearing through the air to drive themselves into the youma's flesh, 
driving them back.

        ... er... sorry 'bout that. ^_^;;

I'll take this as a hint I need to work a bit better on it, though. ^_^

        This time the youma moved out of the way, allowing a clear 

path

between the Champions and their commander.  Orinas smiled as he 

faced

the oncoming warriors.  "Storm of Wrath!"  The flames sent most of 

the

Champions flying, leaving only Ares to face the youma commander.

        Missed this one the first time. What's 'storm of wrath' 
excatly?  I see, 
in my mind's eye, a raging horrizontal torrent of flame, probably 
two-to-five meters wide that washes across the street, leaving 
hissing 
and steaming asphault in its wake, not stopping until it reaches a 
cement wall from a nearby building and then billowing upwards in a 
large 
cloud of fiery-smoke.

        But I'm not sure that's what you meant. ^_^;;;

Hmm...  I just meant it as a generic fireblast.  your description sounds
better, though. :)

        Unless you've established these attacks in another chapter, 
which, come 
to think of it, you may have. Hmmm.

The Chmpion's attacks were mostly descrived in their introduction
chapters... thoug not partcularly well, as back in those days my
descriptions were even worse.

        The council chamber was not one of those rooms, much to 

Scalae's

present irritation.  She was hungry, but eating in human form 

would only

satisfy her until she returned to her true body.  But for the 

moment, it

would have to do, as she needed to speak to her councilors.  Her
featureless red eyes swept the gathering, and she nodded.  "I'm 

sure you

know why I have called on you to attend me now."

        I wonder where the Dragons came from.

Good question.  

The Dragons are basically sentient incarnations of their respective
elements, that have been around in various forms since long before even
Silver Millenium's recorded history.

        It took a moment for the statement to sink in, and then 

the

meeting dissolved into pandemonium.  "Quiet!" Scalae demanded in a 

loud

voice that seemed incongruous emerging from her small form.  

"Gather all

my armies.  I want them ready to head north in two days!"

        To swear fealty, if you know what's good for ya.

If it comes to that, yes.

Until Metallia is completely free though, its still anyone's game. 

        A moment later, the five surviving youma were upon them,
fireballs exploding and fists swinging.  Zeus leapt over the first 

youma

to reach him, delivering a perfect backstab that left the youma a
disintegrating pile of dust.  However, another youma tackled the
Champion, sending his blade spinning across the street.

        Five? I thought their way was only blocked by four 
initially. Four minus 
one equals five? Youma math. Only explanation. ;)

Heh.  When I started writing the scene it was six, but I changed it to
four.

Obviously I missed that bit.

        Aphrodite flowed through and around the remaining youma's
attacks, striking out at will with her glowing blade.  A fireball 

forced

her back briefly, but she soon resumed her assault, and shortly
thereafter the youma was dead.

        Artagel's blade... that would by Chryosaur, I think. It's 
name means 
'good as gold'.

Artagel?

        Zeus rose to his feet, retrieving his sword.  A wordless 

glance

passed between him and Aphrodite, and then the two Champions' 

attention

returned to his savior.  Tuxedo Kamen was alone.  If they could 

take him

out, they would destroy one of the cornerstones of Crystal Tokyo.  

As

one, the two Champions raised their swords.

        Now, these characters are not making themselves sympathetic.

They're not trying to be nice.  They're trying to save mankind from
destruction and/or Pluto's vision of utopia.

        "Hold it," Uranus stated calmly.  "I think we have more 

pressing

concerns at the moment."  She gestured toward the sounds of the 

ongoing

fighting.

        Uranus. One of the two who gladly betrayed all her friends 
for power. And 
she's the voice of reason.

Well, you have to remember that that hasn't happened in shades of Gray's
timeline, which diverges after the third season....  (see!  four
periods!)

And _this_ Uranus has leant some important lessons from the whole fiasco
with Pharoah 90

        Elsewhere, Hades had arrived, and he strode unconcerned 

through

the battlefield, blade striking out at any youma that presented 

itself.

Each sword blow was fatal, and soon the youma gave the Champion of 

Pluto

a wide berth.

        Hrm.... This makes a bit more sense. Nice tie-in with 
mythos, by the way. 
The champion of Death. So, which planet does Chronus belong to, 
again?

Saturn.

        Chronus frowned, but spoke.  "And my daughter.  She has
abandoned her oaths by creating this 'Crystal Tokyo'.  We will not 

allow

that abomination to become reality.  So long as you defend Pluto 

and

Saturn, there can be no peace."

        creating -- trying to create

        It's not done yet.

        Pluto grimaced.  "Dead Scream!"  Chronus blurred, and the 

energy

ball passed by harmlessly.

        Er... she overstepped her bounds there, didn't she? 
Shouldn't she have 
been following, oh, I don't know, Usagi's commands?

Probably.  

        Speaking of which, why isn't she saying anything?

Good point.  I'll add something in.

        The Senshi and Champions were looking about wildly, 

seeking to

determine the source of the fire.  Ishamanar knew the smart thing 

to do

would be to leave now, but he could not resist the temptation to 

gloat.

Nyxan would not do such a thing, but Ishamanar was not Nyxan.  A 

fierce

grin on his face, Ishamanar strode into view.

        Pride goeth before a fall.

It does, yes.  But not yet. ^_^

        And with that, Ishamanar returned to the Dark Kingdom.

        Surprising.

Ishamanar's a fairly smart cookie.  He knows the survival rate of youma
that get into direct conflicts with the Senshi.

        Didn't think that Hotaru would die.

I was afraid I was going to telegraph it... I might have gone too far in
the other direction though.

Author's Random Ramblings

1) And another one bites the dust!  Now, only four chapters and a 

lone

epilogue stand before me and victory!  Never mind that this 

chapter took

far longer than I thought it would to complete.  Oh well.  To 

paraphrase

the almighty Blue Thunder of Funrikan High: I write on!

        As do I... no, actually, that hit me pretty hard. Gonna take 
a break from 
C&Cing for the night.

This chapter seems to have that effect... which is a bit surprising to
me.    

3) As is ever the case all comments, positive or negative, are 

greatly

appreciated.

        I hope that this helped, then.

It did, thank you.

        I AM surprised that Hotaru didn't surender herself. 

You should be.  There is a reason, though.

I'm also 
surprised at 
Usagi's nearly complete silence once the battle began. I suspect 
there's 
a good reason for that, but no need to dwell on that here.

That, there isn't so much of a reason for.  You caught a fairly major
goof on my part there...

The best possible explanation I could come up with is that she's still in
shock over yesterday's revelations and the confrontation with Hotaru. 
But even if I do use that, I'm going to need to _say_ it...

Thanks again for the C&C.

           Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/

________________________________________________________________
Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today
Only $9.95 per month!
Visit www.juno.com

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'