Subject: [FFML] Re: [fusion][R1/2/Avengers] Avenging Chapter 11 Part B
From: Brian Randall
Date: 11/20/2002, 1:51 PM
To: DB Sommer
CC: ffml@anifics.com


DB Sommer wrote:
 >
 > After wandering lost for the last few minutes, Swordsman finally 
located the
 > chamber holding the prisoners. He supposed his detour was just as 
well; the
 > time spent walking had cleared his head. With the Mandarin's stated 
intent
 > of destroying Tokyo, a dark depression had settled upon him. He couldn't
 > remember feeling this despondent since he believed his family was 
dead. It
 > wasn't fair. If a handful of cities in some far off lands had to be
 > destroyed, fine, they were filled with nothing but gaijin anyway. 
However,
 > Tokyo was different. It was his home. He knew people who lived there. It
 > wasn't right they should be punished for the interference of a handful of
 > their countrymen that had made the fatal error of angering the future 
ruler
 > of the world.

	Sheesh.

 > Bucky could just make out a little bit of blood matting on the tiny 
girl's
 > forehead. "Yeah, you look pretty worn out. You stay here and rest while I
 > free the others. You've done your part. And once we're all ready, 
we'll make
 > that Mandarin creep pay."

	Doesn't offer to carry her around? Never know when a pocket-super-hero 
will come in handy.

 > Iron Rose magnified her vision to make certain Wasp was not too badly
 > injured. "She's a big girl, I'm sure she can take of herself."

	Heh!

 > Akane was beginning to panic. While she had left her pursuers far behind,
 > the sounds of their titanic battle could be felt through the very 
walls of
 > the fortress. The fight was so vicious it had made the area she was 
fleeing
 > through dangerously unstable. Cracks had formed in the ceiling in many
 > places, and on more than one occasion dust or pebbles had struck her 
on the
 > head. Had her survival instincts been in better working order, she would
 > have tried to find a way up and out of the fortress, but she felt certain
 > her hammer was located somewhere on the floor she was now on. She 
knew the
 > delay meant risking her life, but she had to find it. Life without the
 > ability to transform into Thor was meaningless.

	Hmm.

 > And then she saw it through the watery tears. It was just lying out 
in the
 > open next tothe wall of one of the corridors. A plain wooden stick 
that was
 > more valuable than all the money in the world to Akane. Now sobbing in
 > happiness, she began to rise.

	tothe -- to the

 > It was just as she turned to go that the dust settled enough to show that
 > instead of being buried, two of the larger pieces of ceiling had 
collapsed
 > in an upside down 'V', protecting the stick rather than burying it. Akane
 > gave a cry of joy loud enough to rival that of the Hulk's earlier one of
 > anger. Retrieving the stick would require a bit of maneuvering. There 
was a
 > carpet of jagged rock between her and the goal, and she would be 
forced to
 > crawl through the tunnel the fallen rock had formed, but her 
salvation was
 > not beyond her reach.

	Tough girl.

 > "Damn it," Akane gripped on tight to some rock and pulled with all her
 > strength. She felt the jagged edge of one of the rocks force its way past
 > flesh and dig deeply into her waist, filling her with a pain unlike 
any she
 > had felt since the accident. Again she called on reserves of strength she
 > didn't know she possessed. Her muscles strained and threatened to 
yield, but
 > then she pulled forward, free of the trap around her midsection. She 
gave a
 > cry out in joy until she felt a wetness spread through her dress. She 
knew
 > the cut was far deeper than the others, but still she soldiered on. Her
 > fingertips brushed once across the tip of the cane, and she gave a cry of
 > delight.

	Well, at this point she's committed, really. Not like she can back out.

 > Hawkeye was on the point, had an arrow nocked, and was already 
pointing it
 > directly in the middle of her adversaries. Bucky and Daredevil stood
 > slightly behind the archer, while Iron Rose remained in the back.

	point -- pointing

	I'd replace 'on point' with 'at the fore'.

 > Bucky spun in a circle, deflecting a fire burst from the Mandarin's 
rings,
 > and left her back momentarily to the opposition. When she turned 
around, her
 > shield was to the side as she thrust her chest forward, purring 
seductively,
 > "Take a look at these, big boys."

	That shield's pretty handy....

 > Hawkeye, completely unmoved by the sight of a woman's chest, fired twin
 > arrows at her closest opponents. Swordsman, drooling at the sight of 
Bucky's
 > bared flesh, found his arms pinned to his side by a bolo arrow. Elektra,
 > equally as unmoved as Hawkeye, ducked under the projectile.

	Handy, that.

 > "That's all I need," Hawkeye said as the archer loosed another arrow. 
With
 > his sword occupied in slicing through his bonds, the blunt tip of the
 > stunner arrow caught Swordsman right between the eyes. He fell to the 
ground
 > like a marionette with its strings suddenly cut.

	No wonder these people are missing so often. Nearly every attack is a
called shot for right between the eyes, and that grands a DCV bonus of
something like 12. Given an OCV of only 6....

	Erm. Nevermind. Hero System. �_�

 > "So you have extra padding in your chest. A wise precaution," Elektra
 > remarked.

	Ya know... from what I hear, that's actually quite painful.

 > Hawkeye used her roll to spring to her feet in an impressive show of
 > agility. She was about to loose another arrow, when she saw Elektra had
 > anticipated the move. The assassin brought her sai forward even as the
 > archer moved back. Superior reflexes were all that kept Hawkeye from 
having
 > the weapon driven clean through her shoulder instead of the half-inch of
 > steel that found its way there.

	Last sentence is a bit awkward....

 > Crying out in pain Hawkeye backed away, blood now decorating the point of
 > the weapon. Elektra was prevented from pressing her advantage by the
 > backfist delivered by the topless heroine. Bucky made certain to keep her
 > body between the archer and assassin

	More decorative blood....

	Herb: It adds a certain something to the citadel, I think.

	Hush, you.

 > That left him open for yet another hard right from the recovered 
Power Man.
 > The Hulk tried to retaliate, but despite the large man's size, Power 
Man was
 > quicker. Worse, it was a completely defensive fight, meaning the 
warrior of
 > the Musk would dodge six blows before trying for one of his own, and 
with a
 > slightly better technique than 'Smash Opponent,' he was connecting with
 > three blows for every one the Hulk landed.

	Hehe!

 > "Fuchsia. Because it's really dark red, but people try to confuse 
Hulk and
 > call red fuchsia. Hulk hates Fuchsia!"

	*snicker*

 > Speed Demon said, "Hey, did he end up where I think he did?"
 >
 > "Looks that way," Power Man said.
 >
 > The two looked at each other, then nodded their heads in agreement. 
"RUN!"

	A room where a Keanu Reeves look-alike with a pigtail is making fuscia
split-pea-soup?

 > "- the one where we were storing the missiles we decided we didn't need,
 > since the laser system could down any aircraft that came too close. 
Wow! Are
 > those titties? Can I feel them? I promise not to pinch or anything," 
Speed
 > Demon asked as his attention became completely riveted to Bucky's chest.

	Or that.

 > "I didn't offer nothin' to anyone!" Bucky shouted. "I was laying my 
ass on
 > the line while you were playing rainmaker with your dumb hammer."

	What happened to Bucky's "We need to work together" attitude?

 > Iron Rose shook her head. "I was unable to either alter either the 
route or
 > the target of the satellite. Only the Mandarin can do that. However, 
I was
 > able to locate its current position and path of travel, as well as
 > discovering its current recharge rate. Unfortunately my armor's too 
big and
 > heavy for me to fly there before it fires. I knew I should have taken the
 > time to streamline the design, even if it meant sacrificing strength and
 > protection for  speed! Damn it all!" Iron Rose took a deep breath, then
 > turned her attention to Thor. "How fast can you fly?"

	for  speed -- for speed (Extra space)

 > An animal cry of rage came from the A-bra-mination as he finally 
recovered
 > enough from Thor's surprise beating to attack. He sprang up to his hooves
 > and charged the heroes.

	Hmmm. Tarou vs. Giant Man.

 > Electricity from Thor's hammer joined the assault and leapt to the
 > A-Bra-Mination's body. This time when he went down he did not get 
back up.

	... or not.

 > "Thanks." Bucky was actually moved by the gesture. She wrapped the cape
 > around her upper chest, tying it off so while she still showed much 
of her
 > midsection, her top and all that lay there was covered. "I'll be sure to
 > give Mandy a good right for you."

	I wonder if it'll turn into a piece of Akane's jumper when Thor reverts.

 > "I will." Hawkeye lamented her luck as Bucky ran off. If only it had been
 > that hunky captain showing such concern for her instead of his busty
 > sidekick. Now that the archer thought about it, she hoped the two 
weren't an
 > item. She could tell right away that the redhead was far too loose for an
 > upright kind of guy like Captain Japan. He needed someone who was a 
better
 > match for him; a hero who could compliment his fighting prowess on 
the field
 > as well as off. He needed someone like Hawkeye as a partner. She had 
range
 > attacks to compliment his defensive abilities. They would be a perfect
 > pairing. She'd have to drop a few hints to him the next time they met.

	Since all the dropped hints LAST time didn't help.

 > Hawkeye could see it now, after a hard day of adventuring and 
bringing down
 > thieves and thugs, they would return to her restaurant where she they 
could
 > shed their masks. Then she would cook him the best okonomiyaki in the 
world,
 > since it came from the heart...

	... -- ....

	'course, you'll probably just cut out the elipses entirely, again. ;)

 > The Mandarin noted the words were directed towards him. He scoffed. 
"While
 > it's true I've suffered a major setback today, it is not the end. 
Yes, this
 > fortress is lost, There's no question it's structural integrity is
 > compromised, however I will take my revenge."

	There's -- there's

 > "How?" the assassin asked, noting that the ceiling of this chamber was
 > beginning to crack.

	this -- the

 > "So you killed for money. I'm doing it now for personal 
satisfaction." The
 > Mandarin raised his fists into the air. "These heroes have ruined my
 > lifelong ambition. It will take me years to reestablish my power 
base. Oh,
 > make no mistake. I will do it. I will rule this world. But these accursed
 > meddlers have taken away my victory, so I will make it as Pyrrhic for 
them
 > as I can manage, and that means Tokyo dies. Their nation will be 
thrown into
 > chaos and anarchy for years, and it will be solely because of their
 > meddling. Everything would have been fine and there would have been 
peace if
 > they hadn't stuck their noses in where they didn't belong. And now 
they'll
 > pay for it!" He threw a lever. "It's done. It'll take several minutes for
 > the canon to warm up for its premature firing, but it's over."

	Is pyrrhic a proper noun?

The Mandarin tried to bring his hand up, but Bucky was upon him, laying in
punches and kicks, driving him back. He couldn't seem to summon a defense as
Bucky continued hammering into his body. His dragon scale armor deflected
most of the force of the body shots, but still they took their toll, backed
by a strength no normal woman should have had. Several blows connected with
his face. Blood poured from a split lip. A hard right into the jaw, and
several shiny white teeth flew from the mouth and bounced off the master
control panel.

	... damn.

A particularly strong kick sent the Mandarin skidding across the stone
several feet away. He tried to rise and fell back down, curling into a heap.

	Weren't you using meters earlier in the fic?

Unfortunately, she did not have the luxury of enjoying the scenery. A far
more grimmer task was ahead as she and Iron Rose raced against time.
Millions of lives were on the line, including her family's. Failure was not
an option.

	more grimmer -- grimmer

As she traveled through the atmosphere, Thor's mind raced ahead to her home
in Nerima. What was her family doing now? She tried to remember what time it
was there, since the journey to China and her hours spent in unconsciousness
had thrown her off completely. She suspected it was around dinner time.
Kasumi would be preparing the family's meal. Nabiki would be working out,
studying a martial art she openly loathed. Their father was probably
engaging in his new hobby of playing shogi with Mr. Saotome, or trying to
hook one of the girls up with Ranma.

Ranma. What was he doing? He was an unusual sort. Not at all like the jerks
at school. He didn't stare at her or treat her daintily like most people
did. Her affliction had not jarred him in the slightest. Actually, he was a
bit rude to her at times, which people never were. But that was because they
felt they had to be extra sensitive around her due to her handicap, which in
many ways was as painful as if they did mock the injury. Not that she liked
it when Ranma was rude, but on the other hand, he acted the same way around
Nabiki when she vexed him as well. It meant he viewed her in the same terms
as her non-handicapped sister, which was comforting, in a fashion.

	Hehehehe.... Well, two out of five isn't so bad.

	Though I'm surprised she's able to keep so much attention to detail on 
her being Akane, given how much she usually remembers Thor when that 
kind of thing happens.

The light glowed like a small star, and a white beam began to stretch out
from the bottom, like a giant lance pointing to the world below.

	Oh, this isn't good.

Bucky had no time to enjoy her victory as the Mandarin's chi blast struck
her. She was hurled into the control panel she had destroyed, burned by some
of the electricity, and bounced back away to the hard stone floor. She was
left moaning on the ground, chi and electricity making breathing an ordeal.

	I imagine that quite a few people in Nerima are going to require an 
extended convelescance.

"Told you so," Bucky said before her head slumped and she remained
motionless.

	Why kill the villain, when a convenient plot device will appear to do it 
for you?

	I seem to remember this being a staple of comic books, though, so 
spot-on, as usual.

Elektra walked painfully over to where the floor had caved in, being extra
careful around the edge, lest she share the Mandarin's fate. The hole went
deep. Obviously the disintegrator had sheared through multiple floors,
weakening them enough that the mass from those above each one was sufficient
to drag the Mandarin and the tons of rubble down into the abyss with him.
"He is disposed of," she informed Bucky.

	Hahahahahahahahaha- No.

	He'll be back.

	Just like Oasis.

She watched as Elektra, only in marginally better shape, moved away from the
edge of the hole. Her weapons had been lost at some point during the battle.
The kerchief she usually wore on her head was missing as well, allowing a
tangled mass of black hair to fall freely past her shoulders and down her
back. Her outfit was torn in several revealing spots. Not as revealing as
Bucky's, but almost as bad. Especially the top, which had lost its straps
and was fighting a losing battle with hiding the impressive bust that was
holding it up.

	Black hair, eh?

Bucky shifted uncomfortably. "Um, well, yeah. You sort of have to go for all
you did. But I'll tell them you helped beat the Mandarin. Not that I
couldn't have taken him on my own, of course. Just that you helped speed
things up. I'm sure you'll get a reduced sentence or  something." She
shrugged helplessly.

	or  something -- or something (extra space)

Bucky tried fighting off the darkness, but the ordeal of all the fighting
from the last day and half proved too much. Just as she blacked out, she
thought she saw a figure looming over her.

	Hmmm....

And then there was nothing.

	Deja vu!

The duo introduced themselves. Thor looked them over. The small flying girl
was of no concern, she was the height of an insect, so what could she really
do? The man was a bit on the slender side and seemed passive. Compared to
the physically appealing Captain Japan or the archer with the tight buns
(and that was to say nothing of his ability to kiss), he quickly was ranked
a distant third, and maybe even fourth on the desirability chart, depending
on whether Daredevil acted like his usual reclusive self or not.

	Ouch.

The Hulk looked down at the burden cradled in his arms. "Oh yes. Hulk found
Shield Girl under some rocks. Hulk got her out before she was buried as deep
as Hulk was. Hulk bets she hates being buried as much as he does."

	Hah! That's perfect. Ryouga rescues his arch nemesis.

Once things calmed down enough for the others to listen, Bucky informed them
what happened in the Mandarin's chamber. Thor seemed disappointed she would
not get a chance to avenge herself. Daredevil seemed despondent over the
assassin's death.

	Slightly modified, I imagine, since anything else would give away her 
Jusenkyou curse.

Wasp flitted about enthusiastically. "Oh my, that sounds good. I want to be
a real super hero. Count me in." Her family was just going to have to get by
cooking and cleaning on their own from time to time.

	Heh.

Iron Rose said, "Not only shall I join, but I can guarantee my employer will
be more than happy to finance the team, as well as providing a base of
operations and a modest stipend as a form of recompense for your time and
trouble." And she was going to make it all one massive charitable
contribution and write it off her taxes.

	HAHA! I like that.

And somewhere in time, the man more commonly known as Kang the Conqueror,
raged against all the heavens and everything under them as well. But in that
timeless void, his anger passed, and control was regained. After all, the
moment of truth had not yet come. Preventing the Avengers' formation was
merely the first chance he could take to prevent the event from coming to
pass. It was still some distance off. The event could still be averted and
he could make everything right once again.

After all, as the unequivocal Master of Time, he still had time.

Time to kill them all.

	Interesting.

And here ends the first story arc to Avenging. Worked out just as I hoped.
Got to the resolution the way I wanted. Left lots of threads to pick up for
the second arc. Had the right mix of seriousness and humor I wanted. Anyone
want to see more? Still have lots of fun in mind, including the Hulkbusters,
the Enchantress and Executioner, the Steel Lilly, and Happosai getting his
hands on some gazongas. Do let me know if it sounds interesting to you.

	I liked it a lot. It was a fun read, and some of the jokes were 
completely priceless. The A-bra-mination... hehe....

	Was great. ^_^

	Good job, Mr. Sommer!

Special thanks to
Chris Horton
Gary Ee
William Morse

-- Brian Randall -- I write fanfiction. Too much of it. You can read it here, thanks to a kind grant from the Larry F foundation: http://www.rakhal.com/florestica/durandall/index.html -- Together. Allegiance or death. BIGFIRE! -- Haiku of my lament: Forgive my spelling, my U.S. education, is the source of blame. .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----. | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'