Benjamin A. Oliver wrote:
Hmm. A few months and a bit of work brings us the third
part of a theoretical 4-5 part series.
Only because people said they wanted it continued was
it continued... And this is the result.
"See what your wretched desires have wrought upon this once beautiful
Earth? If it is only to prevent this, I will destroy ALL humans!"
... er... sorry. Ahem. Nevermind that.
Bonus points if you can place the quote. ;)
Parts One and Two are available at:
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html
So, what has gone before?
Basically, an author and a prereader, Ben and Jason,
went on an SI into what they had hoped was the Ranmaverse,
but instead ended up inside Chibiusa's head, of Sailor
Moon fame.
And now it continues...
Eeeexcelent.
Funky mists swirled in the secret hideout of the Witches Won
and the Wizards Too. Doctor Dementoe plunked away on the horribly
paleolithic Tandy 1 computer while listening to blues music with
some headphones while Professor Kalypsoe crashed on the ratted-up
sofa. The only Witch of the mercenary crew talked on the phone with
their boss.
Repetition, 'while'.
"WHADDAYAHMEANYADONWANTAUSEDAJADEMONKEY?!!?!?!" Subcomandante
Chidisyte screamed into the Deathbusters' telephone, nearly crushing
the reinforced carbon fiber receiver in her hand. "We went ta AWL
THAT trubble, n' NOW you sez you wanted da Holy Grail-Moon Chalice-
thingamahjiggar!"
That's just plain eerie. Had a running joke in a D&D campaign where every
time one of the players tried to break in and steal something from
someone, he would find a jade carving. And the dice rolls made it the
same one each time. He became convinced it was following him, and
finally gave up being a thief, set on the pure path of... uh... being an
assasin.
Well, not really redeeming, but he figured less people alive to extract
vengeance in the name of that jade carving, the better.
At least now I can finally tell him why the jade monkey stopped showing up.
Doctor Dementoe laughed quietly to himself as he examined the
data on the yellowing computer in front of him. He glanced at the
sixteen-year-old woman with pink hair that was his commander, then
noticed an odd buzzing in his head. "Zhee faeries are bak, it
zheems." He turned to the long-haired man lying on the couch. "Iz it
nut zho?"
Sixteen-year-old woman?
Where I come from, that would be 'girl'. (Young lady, actually, but my
mother isn't around to catch me, this time. ;)
"Yeah, stupid fairies," Professor Kalypsoe groaned and turned
over, still trying to catch a few zees after not having slept a wink
in the past couple weeks. "Never let me get any rest." He held his
head. "@#$^#@ buzzing and your @^@#$^& Swiss accent..."
... -- ....
Really. :p
"So, you can appreciate our dire situation." Tomoe added with
a sigh. "Chidisyte, we need you and your men. If you can complete
just another couple missions for us, I can arrange to have a few
daimons created to place under your command for support in battle."
situation." Tomoe -- situation," Tomoe
Professor Tomoe chuckled lightly. "That's the spirit, girl!"
girl -- Girl (I believe -- it's being used in place of a name, yes?)
Whistling calmly, Doctor Dementoe saved his data, waited a
couple of minutes for the little light to go off on the 8-inch
floppy drive, then switched off his computer. He hobbled over to
grab his eight-million-volt cattle prod, yanking the cord out of
its high-yield socket.
8-inch.
Wow. I remember the old washing-machine sized hard-drives with the
foot-and-a-half wide or so platters. The one I used held something in
the neighborhood of a whopping 10 MB.
*sniff*
Ah, the good old days.
*Click!* The metal door swung open and the girl put away her
white labcoat, showing off her bright red spandex outfit underneath,
then grabbed one of her ultra-high-caliber gatling guns. She paused
in thought for a little while, then snatched a couple chains of
special, non-lethal rubber ammunition before closing the large
storage unit. "Yeah, the Doc wants 'em alive."
Heh. Gatling guns are, of course, mounted weapons. This being a silly
fanfic, I'm guessing this was intentional, however. ;)
"Dudette... Like, I stand corrected," Kalypsoe muttered.
... -- ....
I'll stop pointing this one out, though. You know the rules, mister!
The young woman with pink hair casually slung her ammo back
over her shoulder and asked, "So really, who's it gonna be that we
try to take in fer Tomoe?"
Didn't she have an accent a paragraph or two ago? Wait, it's there, just
no easily accented words.
*KERACK!* Suddenly, one of Professor Kalypsoe's shoulders popped
out of its socket from the force of the girl's hold.
o_O
Indeed.
Chibiusa stood, straightening out her yellow tee-shirt and
orange bib-overall-dress, and swaggered confidently over to the
chalkboard. She stretched out her arms, grabbed a piece of chalk and
started going through all the steps.
She can reach that high?
"Fourty-two!" Chibiusa finished dramatically, drawing a box
around her answer with four quick strokes. She turned around to
fold her arms and grin at the class.
Fourty -- Forty (Unless I'm mistaken)
Chibiusa frowned and looked back at the chalkboard, examining
her work in detail. "Integrate with respect to ex under a closed
interval... one to seven... ex squared over six... adding it all
up... Integrating with respect to why... adding all that in..." She
looked back up at the teacher. "Yup! It's fourty-two."
ex -- 'X' (I think)
The elipses preceeding 'Integrating' should have four periods in it, as
the capital letter indicates that the preceeding elipses actually
terminated a sentence.
Rawr.
"Waaaaait," the girl finally said, narrowing her eyes as she
suddenly recognized the paradox. "This isn't a math class! It's a
SCULPTING class!!!"
I'm surprised that the teacher didn't at least raise an eyebrow at the
fact that she was able to work out the equation.
"No," Jason replied, "but whoever he was, he sure had the
right idea! We're gonna need a lot more firepower than this kid's
dinky 'Pink Sugar' thingy. A whole @#!%!@# of a ton more!"
he -- that guy (I would suggest)
"But!"
"But!" -- "But-" (The exclamation was interupted, after all)
"She goes to Mugen Gakuen," Ben noted in thought as the clay
began to take shape under Chibiusa's fingers. It was starting to look
a bit like a charicature of a seal. "She's too busy to take these
sorts of things on the side."
I'm guessing Arbyfish.
"Why couldn't you have gotten me into Ryouga?!" Jason lamented.
"I could've been in bed with Akane right about now!"
Heh.
*BZZRT!* Ben took control and said, "So why wait?" He reached
up in an attempt to grab Masanori by the neck with both tiny hands.
"He must pay..."
Hahahaha!
Ack. My roomates came into my room to see if I was dying.
Must... restrain... laughter....
"It's a matter of interstellar security," Jason flatly lied.
"But seriously, Ben. You need to watch your mouth around here. Any
action you might take could, like, seriously undermine our plan for
getting out of here." He redid the outlines and other details on
the ArbyFish. It was actually starting to look like it might leap
up and start going off on a rant about mushrooms any second now.
How much skill do these guys have as sculptors, anyway?
^_^;;;
Indeed.
---
-_-
"Time for plan B!" Neptune noted to Uranus, just as the van
bounced off a curb and they hit the roof.
---
>_<
"I don't feel any evil coming from her," Rei replied and
added after a moment's thought, "As such."
Uh... you need a sentence stop in there somewhere, I think.
I would remove 'and added', and end the first sentence right there, then
adjust the following sentence accordingly.
*BZZRT!* Jason took control and stuck the umbrella into the
doorway while kicking it open with Chibiusa's foot. "Yo! Wait a
second! I want to show you something."
"Gaaah!" Chibiusa whined. "I hate it when you do that!"
"Me too, Chibiusa." Jason gagged, stretching out. "Me too."
I missed something here....
"Uh, yeah!" Jason replied. "This fat, ugly chick over here said
that you were resting, so I had to do something to, like, wake you
up, ya know!"
Kaolinite balked at Jason's statement. "Fat, ugly chick?!"
Hotaru laughed softly back. "You're so funny!" She took Jason
by the hand. "Come on in."
No longer ChibiUsa's hand?
"Speaking of lost," Ben muttered, "I wonder what happened to
Jussi Nikander. He said he'd come along, but I guess he backed out
before he was committed."
Iiiiinteresting.
Chibiusa looked down and pursed her lips. "A real challenge,
huh? I can do this." She tilted her gaze upwards. "Yes! I can do it!"
She thrust a hand into the air and proclaimed, "Moon Prism Power,
Make Up!"
The new video game craze:
"Moon Gear Solid"
Kinda hard to peek around corners with hair like that, though....
"@$^@#$^@! yeah! That's better. Now move 'em out!"
It seems to me he's actually gotten more vulgar as the story progressed.
"@#%^@! It didn't blow up," Jason muttered angrily. He let out
a long mental sigh. "All right, kid. Take the nozzle in your right
hand, and note the trigger on the handle."
'note'?
The little, pink-haired girl drew a nervous breath, braced
herself, and pulled the trigger.
*KER-BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!*
Awesome.
"It was kinda faded and said, 'Chidisyte,'" Chibiusa noted.
"And the combination sounds familiar..."
Hrm. This reference, I do not get.
Sailor Chibimoon grasped the Fire Buster's nozzle and pointed
it into the open passageway, and pulled the trigger, shouting,
"HUNKA HUNKA BURNIN' LOVE!!!"
Wait... that was HER, and NOT Jason? O_o?
"@#%@#%@#!% GREAT SHOT, KID!" Jason let out a triumphant war
cry. "THAT WAS ONE IN A MILLION!!!"
This reference, thankfully, I do get. ^_^
Well, that was a nice lil' cliffhanger, wasn't it?
I didn't know exactly when I'd get this one done, but one day,
inspiration hit, and I found something worth chuckling about.
I hope you liked this one, and if anyone saw the bits that needed
fixing, please tell me. I hope the formatting comes through okay.
So... Anyone STILL want me to continue this? ^_^
Yes. Very much so.
It was an enjoyable read, as always, and I'd like to see more of it. :)
----------------------
Benjamin A Oliver
boliver@U.Arizona.EDU
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html
"We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
Your humor will adapt to make us laugh.
Resistance is and always has been: Futile."