I think this works pretty well, although I would have preferred
it if you'd cut out the scene where Akane walks in on Ranma or
changed it, perhaps to a scene where Ranma alertly dives for
the cold water delaying the discovery of his curse since the
point of departure appears to be a marginally (but only marginally)
less stupid Ranma.  The fundamental rule of making an alternate Ranma
continuity work is to write the differences, not
what is unchanged.  Similarly, the story of how he got cursed
in an infinitesimally different way could be skipped over for
the nonce, only to be brought up with Ryoga's first appearance.

Given the sisterly interactions, though, seems to me that Kasumi
would have ended up with the engagement, although of course that
would not preclude a Ranma/Akane ending.




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