From: Andrew Huang <alhuang@hcs.harvard.edu>
To: The Eternal Lost Lurker <lurkerdrome@sbcglobal.net>
CC: FFML <ffml@anifics.com>
Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfic][Azumanga] Aftermanga Daioh 1 - 2
Date: Sat, 9 Nov 2002 15:45:05 -0500 (EST)


	Time to do some commenting.

On Fri, 8 Nov 2002, The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:

~futatsu~ mihama-ke asogohan

	A bit of nitpicking. 'Asagohan' is breakfast, not asogohan. :)

Chiyo blinked, then ran a hand through her slightly dissheveled brown 

hair.

"Ah! I decided not to put my hair up this morning. I'm going off to 

college

soon, so I need to look more mature, ne?"

	If I look at the series in a more serious light, I'd wonder why
Chiyo didn't do something like that sooner--when she became a second-year
and started getting annoyed at being looked down on by the first years.
But then I think to myself, it's a comic series, shut up, Andrew. :)

Indeed :P

<snip>

	I know that there have been some people reading the fic who
haven't read Azumanga, but describing some of the characters like that
(Kagura and Yukari-sensei here, Nyamo a little later on) somewhat
interrupts the flow of the narrative and feels a little wordy.

Actually, I disagree here. Granted, I've only seen the anime, but I didn't 
feel it was wordy at all. Rather, perhaps, a refresher...


<snip>

	Very nice work so far, overall. Looking forward to more.

That's what I said :)

	Anyway. The problem I have with the whole college thing is that
generally, in Japan, college is a time to slack off and goof around for
four years. From elementary school through middle and high school, kids
are studying like mad, working their asses off to get to the next level of
education, culminating in the college exams. Those exams and getting into
a particular college is the indication of their ability, rather than what
they end up doing in college. You make it into Toudai, you're set--you
don't actually have to do all that much while you're there. So in effect,
Osaka has proven herself already by passing the exams.
	However, I don't want to let something like that totally ruin your
fic or anything, so I'm trying to see a way around it. I guess the thing
is, there's got to be some exceptions somehow. I'm sure it's not
completely universal. Possibly, Osaka only got into some third or fourth
tier school, one where some effort would actually have to be put in
somehow. I think. You'd just have to make that clear, possibly in the
conversation that her parents have.... Hrm, I dunno. I'll have to ask some
of my Japanese friends about college in more detail.

Andrew, you bring up a wonderful point. I knew this, because I brought it up 
myself in my KOR fic (which the next chapter of is coming, I swear) and I 
completely forgot to mention this. It seems to me that it would be a rather 
important school considering that her acceptance is at least partially a 
favor from her father's friend... Perhaps then, maybe not schoolwork is the 
problem, but since she has no ambition... It might not set well where the 
entire college exists to network and help along a career. Without interest 
in that, her entire college career would be a waste...

Kevin Callahan

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