So far, so good. ^-^

Disclaimer: This is only _my_ opinion. If you believe that my opinion is not best for the direction this fic is taking, then trash it. If it has helped, I would be glad and honored to help.


I've been meaning to point out a little something... it may be just me, so feel free to ignore... now, I've read your little rant concerning how near-Akane-like Kaoru is in fanfiction and all that. I can agree with some of the views here and there but somehow the... for lack of a better word... stiltedness of the characterization is starting to show in the Kaoru of Tanuki no Ryuu. (which is a shame, considering that she seems to be the title character ^_~)

Certain points like her cooking is understandable... it's not horrible or poisonous... just sufficiently off, for comedic effect. Yes, she isn't weak... it's all quite apparent... Watsuki-sensei himself said that she only seems weak because Kenshin and Sano seem so strong. But with your zealous attempts to portray Kaoru, you get some key elements of her personality off, in my humble opinion. First off, she seems more... er... cardboardish? Scenes where she should have taken things lightly showed her as seemingly overly serious and (in a worse case scenario) a little intimidating.

Perhaps it was because of the anime's portrayal of her anger usually in the comedic sense? I dunno... there are scenes where the reader (me ^^;) actually feels sarcasm in her voice... certain somehow a breed apart from the Kaoru in the manga that is 'so friendly that it has become both her strength and weakness.' Remember Kihei? Remember Yahiko? She's playfully mad, but she doesn't usually antagonizes them.

Kenshin seems off... in a better sense, I think. I got used to the Rurouni, methinks. ^^; Battoussai mixed with Kenshin? We simply see more of the frank side of Kenshin rarely seen outside battle plus the playful
side of his gentler nature equals... mischieviousness, but not in the jester sort of way. I think you pulled off this characterization better.

I also think you have downplayed the weakening ougi part to soon... if
Kenshin suddenly regains full use of his ougi with the blink of the eye, bye-bye plot device. A weakening, struggling Kenshin in the face of trials and tribulations is enough to give him a great challenge and probably a good story for the readers. ^^ Stories are made for conflict,
and the conflict of a swordsman past his prime confronting many, many things is a very interesting development indeed.

For the ougi thing, before Kenshin goes back to full strength and stuff, I suggest with playing with the 'past his prime' thing for a bit and
reconsidering the types of stories that can be developed from that point. If not, then Kenshin: the Legend continues is still great as well. Your choice.

Oh yeah... in general, the comedic parts of this fic seems... I dunno...
a bit stagnant even before the 'punchline' gets in. Maybe it's because of the characters taking themselves a bit too seriously. Misao discussing seriously the little lame jokes she told Aoshi after falling into mud does not really help... I think she herself should know that 'Of course your falling off in the mud is funnier than your jokes!' and stuff. There are people demanding for action in the fic, there are people demanding romance for the fic... now lemme demand a li'l more
comedy in the fic as well. ^-^

Other than that... not much. ^^ Ayane... Ayane... she's ok. The suddenness of her introduction and stay at the Kamiya dojo is merely reminiscent of just how friendly and sociable Kaoru is... Ayane herself ain't so bad... in fact, I think she's a lot better than most of the filler characters in the filler eps of the Ruroken anime. ^^ And what you mentioned about her having a pair-up... hmmm.. when is Sanosuke coming back? ^^

Looking forward to the new arc and new villain! Hope it's not another inexplicably overpowered Shogo Amakusa! ^^




Ja!
Abdiel
      

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