~~~~~ begin Compromising Situations part 3/3

     Ryoga and Happosai were waiting in the tearoom when the
wedding party came in.  Happosai, amazingly, appeared to be in
his "stern and proper" mode; he hadn't broached the bottles,
tapped the casks, or pillaged the refreshments loading down the
table.  Soun saw Ranma and Kasumi planted in the places of honor
at the back of the room, facing the screens out into the garden,
and then turned to the guests, who were settling onto cushions
around the walls.  "First, a toast to the happy couple!" he
called, grabbing a bottle-opener.

     Happosai shook his head scornfully.  "You shame your old
master.  Here, I'll do it."  He had six bottles and a cask open
barehanded before Soun had managed the first one.  When
everyone's cups were full, they all raised them towards Ranma and
Kasumi.

     "KAMPAI!"

     "Ah, that's the stuff!" Happosai exclaimed, smacking his
lips.  He leered at one of Kasumi's friends, who was still
wearing the miko costume.  "Hiya, sweetie.  Have we met?"

     "Yes, actually-- eek!"  She smacked him with a bottle as he
made a grab for her bosom, and the party was underway.

     "We'll be right back, Ranma," Nodoka said, helping Kasumi
up.

     "Huh?  Sure."  Ranma was a little distracted by Soun trying
to fill his cup.

     They returned in a few minutes; now Kasumi was dressed in a
magnificent outer kimono, resplendent with brocade and embroidery
in symbols of good fortune.  The large headdress was gone, too,
and her head was embellished by a sort of hat with colorful
dangling ornaments.  Rather than symbolizing her purity, her
costume now put her on display.

     "Isn't she beautiful!" Soun exclaimed.  "I'm sure your
mother up in heaven is watching proudly!"  He drained his cup,
and Genma quickly refilled it even though it was wobbling around.
"Kasumi and Ranma-kun have joined the Saotome and Tendo
families," he announced to the guests.  "We've provided for them
by giving them this property, house, dojo, and all.  No taxes,
haha!  So eat, drink, and wish them well as they start their new
life!"

     The toasts went around the room.  Nabiki's didn't seem very
heartfelt, Ranma noticed.  Ryoga's definitely was, calling on
Ranma to protect Kasumi from all dangers at the cost of his own
life, if necessary.  When it came Akane's turn, she said, without
looking at either of them, "I hope Kasumi-oneechan and Ranma will
be happy."  She hesitated, then blurted "Better her than me, I
guess," and flushed.  It wasn't well-received.  Ranma winced,
watching Ryoga lean over towards her and say something; she
smiled weakly in response.  Maybe Ryoga would cheer her up after
all... the thought was not comforting, but he was sure in no
position to complain about it.

     The snacks were all the dinner he was likely to get, and
they were pretty damn tasty-- by the taste, either Nodoka had
done most of the work, or Kasumi's cooking was getting just about
as good as his mother's-- so he snagged them when he got the
chance even though the butterflies were interfering with his
appetite.  Genma and Soun kept pressing him to drink, too.  He
wondered how Kasumi was doing, but she was still wearing the
wedding mask, so to speak, so it was hard to tell.

     Late in the evening, Ranma was busy trying to defend his cup
from yet another refill when Kasumi left; the next time he turned
back to look, she was gone, and he noticed Nodoka was gone too.
He shrugged, dismissing it as one more ceremony thing, or maybe a
toilet break.  Ukyo hadn't shown up, and he was no more sure
whether to be glad or sad about that than he'd been sure about
inviting her in the first place, but it would be a better party
with more of his friends there.

     A little later Ranma heard Nodoka call "Excuse me..." from
the hallway, but when he saw she wasn't addressing him, he faced
front again.  Soun and Genma, on either side of him, glanced over
that way and saw Nodoka beckoning to them.  They exchanged
glances over Ranma's head, their knowing smiles competing with
their sake-induced flushes.

     "It's time, isn't it, Tendo-kun?" Genma suggested jovially.

     "By all means, Saotome-kun!" Soun replied.  He stood up and
waved to the partiers.  "Wish Ranma-kun a pleasant evening!" he
called to them.  Ranma cringed a bit inside at the ragged chorus
that came back, but put up a bold front.  His knowing and worldly
smile vanished when Genma stood up too and the two men reached
down, seized his arms, and yanked him to his feet.

     "Wah!" he protested, then caught sight of his mother's smile
and blush and realized exactly what was going on.  Genma and Soun
took advantage of his momentary paralysis to drag him out of the
tearoom.  "Hey, wait!" he cried, struggling in their grip.  He
glanced in Akane's direction, but she was talking to Ryoga and he
couldn't catch her eye.

     "He just wants to go back to the party," Genma reassured
Soun without stopping.  "It's not cold feet."

     "Now, Ranma-kun," Soun admonished, "it's not good to keep a
lady waiting too long.  Ah, this moment comes only once in a
man's life!"  Ranma caught the "it better" under Soun's
rhapsodizing loud and clear.  "Be good to Kasumi, won't you,
Son?"

     "Why does everyone keep SAYING that?" Ranma complained.
"Jeez!"

     Genma and Soun both laughed, causing Ranma to totter as they
released him at the bottom of the stairs and he caught the fumes.
"Just go on up," Genma said, pointing to the stairs.  "First door
on the left, you remember, the room we used to have."

     "Don't mind us, we'll go back to the party now," Soun said
cheerfully.

     "Don't worry, we'll be making enough noise that no one will
hear you!" Genma added with a ribald guffaw.

     Ranma looked up the stairs and gulped.  He looked back, but
Soun and Genma clearly intended to block that way until he'd gone
up.  He went up the stairs on knees that had gone a little
wobbly.

     The door of his old room was familiar, at least, though it
had been over a year since he'd left it.  He slid it open,
stepped inside, and stopped.

     The circular fluorescent tube light in the ceiling was dark,
and four candle lanterns in the corners gave the room a warm
glow.  A large snow-white futon lay in the center of the room,
brand-new and fluffy, its covers turned down.  Kasumi knelt on
the futon facing the door.  Her light kimono, dark blue with
lighter blue in a pattern Ranma could spare no attention to
identify, rustled slightly as she bowed, placing her fingertips
on the futon just so before her knees.  "Welcome... husband," she
said quietly.

     Ranma worked a mouth that had suddenly gone dry.  "Uh, you
look nice, Kasumi-san," he managed.

     Kasumi straightened, but did not look up.  Her heavy white
makeup was gone, and so Ranma could see the blush that mantled
her cheek.  "I'm glad.  Um... the door?"

     "Huh?"  Ranma looked around.  "Oh!  Right!"  He took another
step to clear the door and closed it behind him, then flinched as
the cheer from their fathers at the bottom of the stairs could
clearly be heard despite Genma's vow.

     The relative silence stretched, but if it caused Kasumi
discomfort, she hid it well.  Ranma became aware that she was
positioned on the futon so that there was space for another
person before her.  There was no room for doubt about who that
person was.  Ranma moved forward and sank to his knees on the
futon, blushing even more than Kasumi was.  He settled back on
his heels and examined his hands, fidgeting in his lap.

     "Well, here we are," Kasumi said brightly after a while.
Ranma looked up and saw that she had raised her head and was
smiling at him, a smile that was not her usual polite, slightly
absent expression; it was warm, shy, perhaps even a little
apprehensive.

     "Ahahaha!" Ranma laughed nervously, one hand going to the
back of his neck.  "Yeah, here we are, all right."  He had never
felt less suave in a life with more than its share of flustering
moments.  He lapsed into silence again and looked back down at
his hands.

     "Is something the matter, dear?" Kasumi ventured.

     The endearment rocked him even more than "husband" had, but
he managed not to flinch visibly.  "No, no, everything's fine,
fine," he said hastily.

     "I mean, if there's anything I can do to make you more
comfortable...."

     "No, really!"

     "Oh."  She tilted her head a little to one side and regarded
him soberly.  "We haven't had a chance to talk since the, um, the
omiai, have we?"

     "No, I guess not."  Ranma forbore to point out that they
hadn't talked before it, either.

     "Is there anything you'd like to ask me?"

     Ranma hesitated.  There was one question he really wanted to
know the answer to-- why Kasumi had agreed to marry him, and then
gone through with it-- but he didn't want to ask it.  "Not
really," he replied.

     "Well... do you mind if I ask you something, then?"  Kasumi
had lowered her eyes again.

     There was only one possible answer to that.  "Go ahead."

     "You don't think I'm too old for you, do you?"

     In fact, Ranma had not been thinking that-- at least, not
consciously-- but as soon as she mentioned it, he felt as though
there were huge flaming letters branded on his forehead.  He
tried denying it anyhow.  "No way!"

     "Oh, good."  Kasumi's smile was relieved.  "You've always
treated me with respect, so I was afraid you thought of me as an
elder sister, or perhaps even a mother.  But you have a mother,
so that was silly of me, wasn't it?"

     Reeling under the jabs in his conscience, the best Ranma
could manage was to nod mutely and hope she took it the right
way.

     "And after all, I'm only twenty-two."

     "Well, that IS older than me," Ranma said in automatic
defense, and immediately wished he'd bitten his tongue instead.

     Kasumi didn't seem to take offense, though.  "In one way, it
is... but in another way, perhaps I'm younger.  You see, I never
even had a boyfriend.  There was never time.  So I never... well,
not that I would have, but...."  Her hands clasped each other
nervously in her lap, and Ranma watched, fascinated by the
motion.  "What I mean to say, Ranma-kun, is that I'm not...
experienced... the way you are."

     "Huh?"  It dawned on Ranma what she was driving at.  "You've
been talkin' to my mother about me, haven't you?"

     "Why, yes, of course."  Kasumi sounded surprised: didn't he
know that?

     Ranma knew very well how "experienced" his mother thought he
was.  "Oh, jeez."

     Kasumi misinterpreted his expression of dismay.  "Oh, it's
nothing to be ashamed of," she reassured him.  "Not for you,
anyway.  It's just that, well, I know you're used to girls who
are, you know, forward... and I'm afraid I don't know how to be."

     Some people thought Ranma wasn't perceptive, he knew, but
that was unfair; he'd figured out what was going on between Akane
and Tofu-sensei right away, and between Akane and Ryoga... Akane
and Shinnosuke had given him some trouble, yeah, and it'd taken
years to figure out that Akane didn't like him that way, but
Shampoo and Ucchan and Kodachi?  No problem.  It wasn't that he
didn't understand the message that Kasumi was sending him; it was
just that he couldn't quite believe it.  "That's fine with me,"
he said cautiously.

     "Oh, good."  Kasumi's relieved smile returned, but then a
shy, anxious look replaced it, and suddenly she didn't look her
twenty-two years, or even Ranma's nineteen.  "I've never even
been kissed...."

     Ranma twitched.  No doubt about it now, and he felt ashamed
for requiring her to make her hints so blatant.  She had a right
to expect him to kiss her; hell, she had a right to expect a lot
more than that.  "Well...."  He licked his lips nervously,
scooted forward a little, and leaned towards Kasumi, alert for
her to signal reluctance by tensing or pulling back.  She didn't;
instead, her eyes closed and her lips opened slightly.

     Ranma had learned more about Kasumi in the last three
minutes than he had in the previous three years, and the next
three seconds were just as illuminating, for there was nothing
sisterly about her response to his kiss.  Neither was it
aggressive, forceful, or demanding, though; her lips were sweet
and gentle, affectionate and accepting, in a way he'd never
experienced before.  She expected him to take the initiative, to
make the moves she might long for but would only hint at.

     Ranma was in charge.  It was a strange feeling.

     The question was, what to do with his new-found power?  One
thing was for sure: he didn't want to do anything Kasumi didn't
want him to.  He had a pretty good idea of what Kasumi did want
him to do-- in a theoretical sort of way, or course-- but there
was a lot of middle ground there, and above all else he didn't
want to make a botch of it.  The sake wasn't helping... or maybe
it was.

     He didn't have time to think about it, he realized; Kasumi
was looking at him, a look that said "oh, my" as clearly as she
could have said aloud, and said "please kiss me again" much more
clearly.  He leaned forward again, sure that the second kiss
would be better than the first... and it was.  Somewhere in there
he lost his balance a little or something, his hand leaning on
the futon shifted, and instead of cotton over quilting his
fingers pressed silk over warm, yielding flesh.  He almost pulled
back in surprise, but Kasumi made a faint sound that couldn't
possibly be a protest, so it was all right.  Encouraged, Ranma
slid his hand forward-- and ran into more layers of silk.

     Then Kasumi did pull back, and for a moment Ranma thought
he'd done something wrong.  She reached up and untied the ribbon
she always wore to keep her hair out of the way, and it tumbled
free around her shoulders, a surprisingly ample cascade of sable.
Still not looking directly at him, she unwound the obi from her
waist, folded it without her usual care, and set it aside.  Her
kimono parted a little with her movement, not enough to reveal
anything but the overlap of silk, but promising easy access to
everything it concealed.

     For a girl who didn't know how to make the first move, he
thought with his last sodden shreds of rationality, she sure knew
how to make the second one....

     ~~~~~

     Akane was already tired of the party, particularly of the
noisy celebrations of the fathers and of Happosai's constant
attempts to fondle her.  The old master was only half-smashed;
Ryoga kept trying to smash him the rest of the way, but
drunkenness just made Happosai harder to hit.  She couldn't go up
to her room to escape, either.  It was right across the hall from
the room where Kasumi and Ranma were... were....

     She took the last sip of her celebratory sake, turned the
cup over before anyone could refill it, picked up her teacup, and
left as unobtrusively as she could manage.  Only Nabiki, looking
quite sober despite the bottle next to her, appeared to notice,
but she didn't say anything.  Akane wandered across the covered
walkway to the dojo and sat down outside, not looking back at the
house.

     Ryoga showed up shortly, breathing hard.  "Goddamn old
lecher," he grumbled.  He settled on the hardwood floor a couple
of feet away from her.  Akane could feel his gaze on the side of
her face, but she didn't look at him.

     "Stupid Ranma," she whispered.  "Stupid Father.  Stupid
Saotome-no-ojisan.  Stupid Nodoka-sama.  Stupid Kasumi-oneechan."
She paused.  "Stupid Ak--"  Her voice broke, and she swiped
angrily at something on her cheek.

     Ryoga stirred at that.  "Akane-san... is there anything I
can do?"

     Akane turned to look at him at last.  "No, Ryoga-kun, I
don't think there is," she said sadly, kindly.  She went back to
gazing at the starless sky.  "I just.... I wish P-chan were here.
It's always a comfort, holding him and talking to him, even
though he's only a little pig and can't understand...."

     Ryoga suddenly stood up and Akane looked at him, startled.
He stared back down at her with an expression of determination on
his rugged face, one fist clenched.  "I'll get P-chan for you,"
he vowed.  "Just wait right there."  He leaped down the steps
into the yard and ran towards the house.  Akane's eyes widened.

     "But how would Ryoga know where P-chan is?"

     She heard a splash from the direction of the koi pond, and a
few seconds later P-chan appeared.  He was soaking wet and
dragging a sodden cloth thing in his mouth, but he abandoned it
at the bottom of the stairs.  "Bu-kiii!"

     "P-chan!" Akane cried joyfully, holding out her arms.  The
black piglet bounced up the steps and into her lap.  "I'm so glad
to see you!  Oh, you're all wet!  Did you fall in the koi pond,
you silly boy?  Thank goodness Ryoga knew where to find you...."
Her voice trailed off.  "You're wearing a kerchief just like
Ryoga-kun's," she said slowly in a very different tone.  "Ryoga-
kun ran away.  Koi pond.  P-chan.  Oh, no."

     Akane's hand groped out for her cup of tea.  "P-chan, I'm
really sorry to do this to you, but I have to know if you really
are P-chan."  Ryoga held still in Akane's lap, knowing what was
coming and feeling a profound relief that he didn't have to evade
it this time.  Akane, irrationally, closed her eyes.  The teacup
tipped.

     "Eeek!"

     "Sorrysorrysorry!" Ryoga babbled, rolling nude off of
Akane's lap, scooping up his shorts, and pulling them on in one
swift motion.  He was still blushing when Akane opened her eyes.

     "This isn't happening...."

     Ryoga said the first thing that popped into his mind.  "It's
all right, Akane-san.  I'll be P-chan for you if you need me to
be."

     "You'll be P-chan."  Akane's voice was flat, disbelieving.
"How long have you been P-chan?"

     Ryoga poked his fingertips together, unable to look her in
the eye.  "Uh... always.  I'm really sorry," he added.  "Sorry I
didn't tell you, I mean."

     "Sorry."  Her voice was still flat.  "I can't believe I
didn't see it before.  It must be the sake."

     Ryoga gulped.  "Akane-san, I did it because... because I
like you," he said in a rush.  "I mean, I love you.  I've loved
you ever since you picked me up and kissed me on the snout.  I
mean, on the nose.  You were so beautiful and so kind, and no one
had ever been kind to me before--"  Akane raised her hand and he
stopped.

     "You love me?"  Now Akane's voice was low and shaking with
emotion.  Ryoga nodded desperately, still watching the hand.
"You pretended to be my pet piglet?  You listened to all my
secrets?  You watched me changing?  You slept in my bed, and all
along you were Ryoga?  And now, on the worst night of my entire
life, while the man I l-love is upstairs making-- making a woman
of my sister and the only thing I can think of that will make
that life a little more bearable is the comfort of crying on my
pet piglet, you stand there in your stupid shorts with stupid
pink pigs all over them, and you dare to say you love me?"

     "Uh...."

     Akane stood up, her hand still raised, her head tilted
forward so that her eyes were hidden behind her bangs.  "You
thought you could-- could catch me on the rebound, didn't you."
She started down the stairs.  "You ARE a pig."  As Ryoga watched
her hand, it swung back and down, folded into a fist, and then--
"I hate you."

     Ryoga disappeared into the night sky, a shooting star going,
as usual, in the wrong direction.

     Akane lowered her hand, breathing hard.  She stood slumped
for a moment, then drew herself up and started back towards the
party noises.

     Happosai, balancing on two bottles, holding two more, and
guzzling from a fifth, spat out the fifth bottle when he saw
Akane come back in.  "Akane-chan!" he cried, leaping for her
bosom without letting go of the bottles.

     Akane seized him by the neck on the way in and held him at
arm's length.  "Will this make me feel good?" she asked, wresting
one of his bottles away from his suddenly-feeble grip.

     "It always works for me," Happosai gurgled through what
remained of his windpipe.

     "I'll give it a try, then."  She put the bottle to her lips
and upended it as the dumbfounded partiers watched.  It gurgled
loudly, once, twice, thrice... and then Akane dropped the bottle
and Happosai, coughed, turned red, and sat down suddenly.

     "Now, Akane," Soun began reprovingly, "a child your age
really shouldn't be drinking like that."  He reached for the
bottle, but Akane snatched it before he could get his hand on it
and cradled it to her.

     "Mine," she snarled, her eyes seeming to glow.  Soun
recoiled.

     "Akane-chan's scary," Happosai whimpered as Akane raised the
bottle again.

     ~~~~~

     Ryoga stumbled along in a gutter, somewhere.  He didn't know
where.  He never knew where.  On a night like this, the worst
night of his entire life, it was inevitable that he would plummet
out of the sky into cold water.  He'd even lost his shorts.  It
was all Ranma's fault.  Ranma had broken Akane's heart.  Ranma
had told him to tell Akane about P-chan.  If Ranma were here,
wherever here was, he'd show Ranma what he thought of that
advice.  He'd put trotter marks all over Ranma's butt instead of
his face this time.

     On second thought, Ranma had worse coming.  Ranma thought
Akane-san didn't love him, and so he'd married Kasumi-san
instead.  Now, Kasumi-san was nice, no doubt about that, but when
he told Ranma that Akane-san loved him after all, and had all
along, Ranma would beat himself up worse than he ever could.

     He'd beat Ranma up anyway, of course, just for good measure.

     Just as soon as he found some hot water.

     And the way back to the Tendo place.

     And some shorts.

     Ryoga turned left rather than right and discovered that he'd
been following his nose.  The scent was distinctive and powerful,
and he had no trouble following its trail to a familiar giant
sumo pig parked in a motel carport.  Ryoga wondered what a motel
was doing in Nerima.  He didn't bother to wonder what
Katsunishiki was doing in a carport.  "Bu-kii?"

     Katsunishiki didn't squeal back, since Akari, feeling that
it was undignified for a yokozuna to squeal, had been trying to
break him of it, but he did grunt in a respectful manner.  The
giant pig nudged Ryoga to the left a little with his snout, and
back a little.  Then he reared back and swung his mighty cloven
hoof, and for the second time that evening Ryoga found himself
flying through the air.

     Trailing tears of frustration, he zipped through the small
opening of a steamy glass window, bounced off the far wall, and
fell to the floor with a thump.

     "P-chan?!"

     Ryoga froze.  Tears blurred his vision and his head rang
from being golfed into a wall by a sumo pig, but he thought he
saw a short-haired girl in a bathtub, and there was only one
short-haired girl who knew his name: Akane!  He was a dead pig,
er, man!  He fled for the door, but it was closed.  He sprang
desperately for the door handle, hoping to bounce the door open
and escape.  The girl in the tub anticipated him, though, jumping
out of the water, setting the door lock, and pinning him to the
floor.  An instant later she had him submerged in the tub.

     Ryoga surfaced, coughing out hot bathwater.

     "Ryoga-sama?  What on Earth is the matter?" the girl asked
anxiously, and this time he recognized the voice.
     
     "Akari-chan?"  For the umpteenth time, he cursed the fact
that she'd picked up his nickname from Ranma.

     "Yes, it's me."  Akari pulled the pins that held her hair up
for bathing.  It fell past her shoulders, complete with her
trademark pink-dyed sidelocks, restoring her silhouette.  "Poor
Ryoga-sama, did you think you'd crashed into some strange woman's
bathroom?  And, since you're as noble as a pig, you tried not to
embarrass her by peeping--"  She glanced down at herself,
realized she was kneeling stark naked by the side of the tub, and
blushed clear down to the tops of her breasts.

     Ryoga hadn't gotten that far yet.  The stress he'd suffered
combined with Akari's sympathy to push him over the edge, and
tears began to stream down his cheeks.  "Akari-chan!" he wailed
as he lunged forward over the edge of the tub, seeking the solace
of her arms.  Akari fell backward on the fluffy bathmat with
Ryoga on top of her.

     "Ssh, shh, there, it's all right," she whispered, stroking
his hair, a blissful expression on her face.  "Whatever happened,
everything's all right now."  She kissed the tears away from his
face, then kissed him on the lips.  "I love you, Ryoga-sama...."
She shifted slightly under him, bearing his weight easily, and
kissed him again.

     Ryoga didn't have time to realize what was about to happen
until it was already happening... and then it was too wonderful
to stop.

     Out in the parking lot, Katsunishiki squinted up at the
window and sniffed.  About damn time, he thought.

     ~~~~~

     When Ranma awoke, his first awareness was of malaise, not
crippling but quite unpleasant.  Goddamn, I drank too much.  His
second awareness was that he was in his old familiar room in the
Tendo house, and for a fleeting moment he thought he'd dreamed
all that stuff about moving to Momma's, escaping from Furinkan,
the wedding....

     His third awareness was of a damp spot on the futon, and
that meant-- Dammit, I didn't wet the bed, did I?  Memory came
rushing in on him, and he suddenly sat bolt upright.  I did,
sorta.  She did.  Uh, we did.  Oh, hell.  He covered his face
with one hand, coincidentally soothing his sore head a little.

     "I drank WAY too much," he muttered ruefully, alone in last
night's bridal chamber.  He'd really done it this time.  He'd
married Kasumi.  Worse, he'd slept with Kasumi.  Now all the
girls he hadn't slept with were gonna kill him.

     Just then a few more memories surfaced, and they were pretty
nice ones.  Kasumi might not be as trim and toned as some other
girls he'd grabbed handfuls of by accident, but she wasn't
flabby, either, and twenty-two wasn't over any kind of hill;
she'd been hiding a surprisingly good body under those aprons and
blouses.  He'd made her a woman, as required, and with any luck
she didn't know that she'd made him a man at the same time.

     The thought cheered him a little.  He'd Done It; he was a
man, not a boy.  No more school, he'd joined the families as
promised, and he was married to a woman whose cooking was sending
mouthwatering smells upstairs at that very moment.  Life was
good.

     So why did he feel so miserable?

     His wedding clothes were folded neatly by the bed rather
than scattered the way he'd left them, not that he had any
intention of going downstairs in hakama trousers and haori coat.
Habit suggested wearing yesterday's boxer shorts and singlet
until bathing, but habitually he slept in them on hot nights, and
last night he hadn't... and he'd lost track of them.  They
weren't in with his wedding clothes, either.  He finally found
them, also folded neatly, under a yukata that wasn't his.  About
to put the shorts on, he stopped and considered the yukata.  It
hadn't been there last night.  Probably.  He'd been a little
drunk.  And a little distracted.

     He shrugged, put on his shorts and singlet, and tiptoed out.
Faint sounds of breakfast activity were coming from the kitchen
and the tearoom, but he didn't encounter anyone on his way to the
bathroom.  He washed up quickly in cold water, noticing that the
unwelcome change to female felt a little different in some
indefinable way.  The furo was full and hot, fortunately, so she
was able to change back right away.  His toothbrush and towel
were on the shelf, and clean underwear was by the hamper, just as
they had been while he'd been living here.  Feeling cleansed and
somewhat restored, he ventured out in search of food.

     Kasumi turned as Ranma passed the door to the kitchen and
glanced in.  "Good morning, Ranma," she wished him brightly,
sounding just like she used to... but then she blushed and
lowered her gaze.  "I hope you had a, a pleasant night," she
added, stumbling over her words a little.

     "Uh, yeah, sure," Ranma replied, pink-cheeked.

     "I'm glad."  She couldn't seem to look directly at his face,
not that Ranma was having much luck in that department either,
but her smile was warm.  She took half a step towards him and
stopped.  "Oh, didn't you like the yukata?"

     Kasumi's voice and manner conveyed anxious disappointment
rather than disapproval, but for some reason Ranma suddenly felt
like going back upstairs and putting on the yukata anyway.  "Uh,
'scuse.  I'll be right back."

     The new cloth was a little stiff and uncomfortable across
his shoulders, and just shorts and singlet would be a lot less
restrictive if he happened to get into a battle, but the yukata
didn't look bad at all.  Its red, black, and white pattern
reminded him of the sanshoku koi in the Tendos' pond-- his pond,
now!-- which was a lot better than some flowers or something.

     "How's that?" he asked, a little aggressively, stopping at
the kitchen door again.

     Kasumi gave him another warm, shy look.  "You look very, um,
manly," she managed.  "I had to guess what you'd like...."

     "This is fine," Ranma said hastily.  Even if he'd had
objections, he wouldn't have raised them with her looking fragile
like that.  "Uh, thanks, Kasumi-san."

     That got him a brighter smile.  "You're welcome, dear.
Um... under the circumstances, I don't mind if you don't use
'san' with me any more."

     Ranma blinked.  "Huh?  Oh.  Right.  Uh, same here."  Wait a
minute, Kasumi called him 'Ranma-kun', not 'Ranma-san'--  "I mean
'kun', not 'san', though.  That you don't have to call me.  Er."

     "Thank you, Ranma," said Kasumi, her eyes twinkling; was
that a giggle she was covering with her hand?  "Breakfast will be
ready in just a few minutes."

     "Okay."  That he could manage; he wandered out as Kasumi
turned back to her cooking.  The tearoom had been cleared of the
party debris, he saw, and he had it to himself.  He took his
place on the side by the garden, the place that had been his when
he lived here, and waited.

     Kasumi came out shortly with a tray full of bowls, cups, and
chopsticks and placed it on the table, then went back into the
kitchen.  A few more trips saw the arrival of the teapot, the
soup kettle, and several covered dishes, and finally the rice
cooker.  Kasumi set it down on the mat by the corner of the
table, and then settled into her own place next to it.  It was
all very familiar, even nostalgic, until-- "Ranma, why don't you
sit over here?"

     "Hm?"  Ranma saw that Kasumi was setting out a bowl and cup
next to her, and noticed a cushion there where no one usually
sat.  He shrugged, not really understanding but willing to
comply, and moved around the corner of the table, just one spot
over... and then he realized.

     His new place was next to Kasumi instead of next to Akane's
place.

     It was a new cushion, and the bowl and cup were also new.
Fancy with designs in black and red, they contrasted with the
brown, blue, and white of the everyday tableware.  Kasumi started
serving the rice, the soup, and the pickles, and they were
special, too: the glossy rice had a little heap of garnish on it,
an aroma even more delectable than usual wafted from the miso,
and the pickled vegetables were little colorful flowers.

     Then Kasumi uncovered another dish and set it by his place:
two grilled fish-- two!-- and a portion of eel, to boot.  "Wow,"
Ranma said, surveying his magnificent breakfast.  "All for me?"

     "Yes, all for you," Kasumi said, sounding indulgent and
pleased.  "This is a special occasion, after all."

     Ranma darted a glance sideways, and sure enough she was
looking at him with that warm smile again, and a hint of a blush.
He knew he was supposed to say something, probably something
romantic, but nothing came to mind.  "It looks real nice," he
managed inadequately.  "Thanks."

     "You're welcome, dear."  Ranma glanced at Kasumi again; she
seemed quite satisfied with what he'd said, and started serving
herself as he took his first bite.

     "Ah, what a fine aroma!" Genma announced, coming into the
tearoom with Soun.  Both looked a little worn, Soun more so, and
were moving carefully.  Ranma smirked over his chopsticks,
recognizing the signs of drinking to excess.

     "Don't they look like a happy couple, Saotome-kun?" Soun
said with all the enthusiasm of a man who'd nearly despaired of
ever getting his family joined to another.

     Genma began a nod and stopped with a wince.  "Indeed,
indeed, Tendo-kun," he agreed instead.  "And look at the feast
Kasumi-san has prepared!  She must be pleased with her new
husband, eh?"

     "Oh, Saotome-no-oji--, er, -otousan!" Kasumi exclaimed,
putting one hand to her blushing cheek.

     "And you, Ranma-kun?" Soun inquired.

     "Huh?"  Ranma stopped eating, looked at his father-in-law,
glanced at Kasumi, and returned his gaze to his rice bowl.  "Uh,
fine," he mumbled.

     Both men nudged each other with their elbows, smirking.  "A
fine feast," Genma repeated, settling opposite Ranma.  He picked
up his chopsticks and began to sneak up on Ranma's fish.  Ranma
prepared to defend his breakfast, but suddenly a teapot appeared
in Genma's way.  His father glanced up.  Kasumi was looking at
him, not at Genma, but her hand had just released the teapot.
Genma retreated with a face-saving cough.

     Kasumi served Soun and Genma with rice, pickles, and soup.
It was the same miso, and the same rice, but no garnish, plain
pickles, and no fish, served in the everyday bowls.  Soun and
Genma looked down at their meals.  They looked at Ranma's
sumptuous repast, what was left of it.  They looked at Kasumi.
Kasumi smiled back apologetically.  They sighed in unison and
started eating.

     "That was good," Ranma said with feeling, putting down his
rice bowl.

     "I'm glad you liked it.  Um... wait, Ranma, you have rice on
your cheek--"

     Slow footsteps sounded on the engawa outside.  Ranma looked
left in time to see Akane appear at the doorway to the garden,
still wearing the festive kimono she'd worn the night before, now
rather rumpled.  "G'morn--" she began wearily, her bloodshot eyes
meeting Ranma's just as Kasumi picked the stray grain of rice off
of his cheek and popped it into her own mouth.  Akane broke off,
the color draining from her face.  Her lips moved slightly,
speechless, and a look of such anguish came over her features
that it needed only an instant to etch itself on Ranma's memory,
the instant before she turned away and staggered out again.

     "Good morning, Akane," Kasumi began brightly, turning her
attention from Ranma, and then broke off in surprise.  "Why,
she's gone...."

     Ranma sat petrified with shock, his eyes fixed on the
glistening spots left on the hardwood floor where Akane had been.
He knew what fallen teardrops looked like.  He'd recognized the
expression on her face: heartbreak.  The magnitude of his error
crashed onto him in a mighty wave.

     Akane had loved him after all.

     If he'd known that, he would have defied mother and fathers
alike, fought legions of Ryogas and Shinnosukes and pansy foreign
princes to keep her, turned all the would-be fiancees down flat
and to hell with the consequences, protected her from lethal
rivals, fearsome monsters, and lecherous spirits as long as
breath remained in his body, traveled the mountains and deserts
and seas of the world to stay at her side.  Never offered
compromise, never accepted defeat.

     If he'd known... but he hadn't.

     Not knowing, he had married her sister.

     Immediately he thought of breaking all the promises and
pursuing her.  To break the first promise was to divorce Kasumi,
though, and that would be awful.  The wrath of their fathers and
the disappointment of his mother, those he could face or run away
from, but to abandon Kasumi?  She'd gotten up early the morning
of her own wedding night, folded their clothes, filled the furo,
seen that he had everything he needed waiting in the bathroom,
cleaned up the tearoom, and then cooked him the best breakfast he
could remember... just because she wanted to please him.  Because
she wanted to be a good wife.  She looked like she'd been pleased
by his reactions, too.  It meant something to her.  She had a lot
invested in this marriage: her virginity, obviously; her pride,
different though it might be from the pride of a warrior; her
feelings, even if she didn't love him the way... the way Akane
did.

     Ranma turned his head to the right, just a little, enough so
he could see Kasumi's expression out of the corner of his eye.
She looked concerned, anxious, and maybe even a little fearful as
she met his sidelong gaze.  Had she realized what he'd realized?
Had she noticed his feelings and read his thoughts?  Was she
afraid he'd do what he was thinking about and leave her?

     Kasumi's lips parted, but she hesitated a moment before
speaking.  "Is Akane all right, do you suppose?"

     Soun caught her worried tone.  "Oh, I'm sure she is," he
said reassuringly.  "Or she will be.  She had a lot to drink last
night and now she's suffering for it, that's all."

     "Really?  Oh, dear...."

     He couldn't.  Kasumi always put everyone else first.  She
worked hard to see that everyone was clean, well-fed, and had a
nice home.  She'd been a housekeeper while other girls were
having boyfriends or even just being kids, and kept at it while
those others were starting lives of their own.  Ranma still
wasn't sure he'd been her first choice for a husband, but she'd
married him, and so far she was doing a great job of keeping her
half of the deal.  It even looked like she was happy about it.

     And besides... he'd slept with her.  Love or no love, there
was no way under the blue skies of heaven that Akane would ever
forgive that.  He was Kasumi's, sealed with a... uh... a hell of
a lot more than a kiss.

     Akane's heart was already broken, and there was no mending
it.  The best he could hope for was that she'd get over him
quickly... or, well, eventually... and she'd find somebody who'd
make her happy... though probably not as happy as she would have
been if he wasn't such an idiot....

     In the end, he always came back to duty.  Ranma sighed
heavily.

     "Is something the matter, dear?"

     Ranma jumped a little, pasted a reassuring smile on his
face, and turned to face his wife and his future.  "Uh, no, I'm
fine," he managed.

     "Oh, good," Kasumi said, smiling in relief.  "Would you like
any more breakfast?"

     "Uh, no, I'm fine," he said again, a little more truthfully.
He'd lost his appetite, but he certainly wasn't feeling empty any
more; the wedding breakfast had settled down in his belly and
made itself at home, an undeniable and comforting reminder that
there was an upside to this situation.

     "I'll clear up, then."  She did so, taking her bowls as well
as his; she'd finished her much smaller portions of the same
special dishes she'd served him in about the same time.
Returning from the kitchen immediately, she settled beside him
and then refreshed both of their teacups.  She didn't touch him
or speak to him, but he was aware of her warm presence; she
didn't seem to be in a hurry to go anywhere or do anything, nor
to expect him to, either.

     Going to look for Akane right now would probably be a bad
idea anyway....

     ~~~~~

     Hidden in the far corner of the yard behind the dojo, curled
around her pain like a small, wounded animal, Akane wept quietly.
Her tears sprinkled fragments of tile and concrete, debris from
her breaking exercises.

     Right up until the last, she'd kept a sliver of hope that
something had happened, so that something else... hadn't.  It was
inconceivable that such a sacred occasion could have gone
uninterrupted in this madhouse, after all.  Even if nothing else
had gone wrong, Ranma should have done something to offend Kasumi-
oneechan so badly that she would kick him out of the bedroom and
demand a divorce, and then she could... well....  But one simple,
intimate gesture had smashed that sliver, and the sliver had
turned out to be a lot bigger than she thought.

     Kasumi-oneechan would never have done that-- eaten a rice-
grain off of his face-- if she... and he... hadn't done THAT.
And enjoyed it.  And probably done it again... but once was
enough.  He had chosen someone else.  Some girls didn't care so
much, she knew, but she did.  Doing THAT was... special.  Doing
it with someone else, with only one someone else, meant that
person was special.

     Doing it with more than one someone else meant they didn't
matter enough to give something special to.  And if it wasn't
special, then she didn't want to be involved.

     Ranma had to feel the same way, or he would have been doing
it with... with too many someone elses for there to be anything
special left about it.  He hadn't been; she was sure of that,
because not one of the potential guilty parties could possibly
have kept THAT secret.

     He'd chosen Kasumi to do THAT with, so SHE was special to
him.  He loved her, or respected her, or thought she was sexy, or
something.  Maybe he'd always wanted a tall, gentle girl with a
good figure, long hair, and great cooking.  Ukyo scored four out
of five there... well, maybe three and a half in bare feet.
Shampoo and Kodachi, three each.  She got... zero.  It figured.

     She'd lost him.  He belonged to Kasumi now, and she couldn't
pretend that it didn't matter any more, not after the way the
last two days had made her feel, and especially last night.

     Stripped of her denials, she couldn't even blame it on him,
and certainly not on Kasumi.  Kasumi had as much as asked her
permission, and she'd sort of given it, like an idiot, because
she wouldn't admit how she felt.  The parents had asked her one
last time if she would marry him, and she'd refused, like an
idiot, because she hadn't believed it was the last chance.  She
could have spoken up, begged Kasumi not to marry him, begged him
not to marry Kasumi, begged their parents to let her be the
fiancee again... and she hadn't, like an idiot, because she
couldn't imagine any pain worse than the humiliation of doing
those things.

     Well, she didn't have to imagine it now.

     From long ago, a deep grief echoed: her worst memory.  Yet
if some lovely goddess of providence were to appear before her
right now and offer her a choice between having her mother back
and having the last two days to do over again, she'd choose Ranma
in a heartbeat and worry about the guilt later.  It was that bad.

     But that was silly.  It didn't matter what she wanted,
anyway.  Ranma had agreed to marry Kasumi; he'd never agreed to
marry her.  Kasumi had agreed to marry Ranma, and she never had.
There was something between them that no one had ever suspected.
Ranma, casual or even insulting to everyone else, was unfailingly
polite to Kasumi; he appreciated her, while everyone else took
her for granted.  Kasumi was nice to everyone, so it was hard to
tell what she really thought, but she wouldn't have married Ranma
if she hadn't liked him a lot.

     They looked happy.  She'd really wanted to be the one to
make Ranma happy, but better Kasumi-oneechan than Ukyo, or
Kodachi, or Shampoo.  She'd really wanted Kasumi-oneechan to be
happy, too, but she'd expected her to find someone else to
accomplish it.

     At least this way Ranma wouldn't go off tramping all over
Japan with a yatai, or vanish into the lifestyles of the rich and
psychotic, or get dragged off to China.  He was in the family.
Her brother-in-law.  She could be with him, at least.  She'd just
have to stomp flat the urge to fling herself weeping into his
arms and--

     Maybe going off to college for a few years was a really good
idea after all.

     Her muffled sobs had trailed off as the violence of her
emotions succumbed to exhaustion.  Now she uncurled a little,
placed her palms beside her knees, and levered herself up to a
sitting position, her head still hanging.  The sharp gravel
scored her hands and shins, but she couldn't make herself care.

     Sun dappled the ground in front of her; it must be nearly
noon.  Two or three hours had gone by while she cried her heart
out, and no one had come to see if she was all right.  No one
cared.  She tried to summon up indignation at that, but it
wouldn't come.

     Suddenly she noticed a faint, rhythmic sound coming from
around the corner of the dojo.  Someone was hitting the rope-
wrapped post there.

     It was him.

     Usually he hit it a lot harder than that, though, and made a
lot more of a racket.  She'd complained about it often enough.
He was hitting it just hard enough... that she could hear it if
she listened, and couldn't if she didn't.

     He knew she was here.

     Had he heard her crying?

     Probably.  She blushed hotly, dusted her hands off, and
wiped at her face with the sleeve of her kimono.  Astonishingly,
he was letting her know that he was there, and that he knew she
was there, and that he knew that barging in on her wouldn't go
over well.  She felt a sudden gratitude to him for being
considerate... for being there... for caring.  She ran her hands
through her hair, quickly combing it with her fingers, and tried
to stand up.  Her knees wouldn't support her right away; she had
to lean against the side of the dojo while the circulation
returned.  Finally she took a deep breath and stepped around the
corner.

     Sure enough, Ranma was there, punching the post without much
energy.  He was already turning when she said, "Good morning."

     "Uh, g'morning," he responded absently.  His eyes searched
her face.  "Akane, I--"

     "I just had too much to drink last night," she interrupted
as brightly as she could manage, praying that he'd take her at
her word.  "My head really hurt for a while there, but I'm...
better now."

     Ranma hesitated, then nodded ruefully.  "Yeah, it does
that."

     He looked different, she noticed.  Less cocky, more
confident.  More mature.  Did getting laid cause all that?  His
notorious anti-poker-face showed concern, and pain that she took
for sympathy, but no pity, and that made her feel a little
better; there was no hint that he was going to gloat at her or
anything like that.

     He was more of everything she loved about him.  Just as her
resolve began to waver, she noticed past his shoulder that Kasumi
had come out of the house with a basket of laundry and started
hanging things up on the line.  Her sister couldn't overhear them
from that distance, not if they didn't raise their voices, but
all she had to do was turn around and she'd see them--

     "I'm glad you've joined the Tendo family, Ranma... onii...
chan."  That was just about right: it was true, as far as it
went, it just left out all the, um, unsafe parts.  "I really do
hope you and Kasumi-oneechan will be happy."  That was true too,
but it was a good thing her face was more obedient than his.

     For some reason Ranma seemed pained for a moment, but then
one side of his mouth curled up a little in a wry smile.  "Well,
that's the best I've gotten yet.  Everyone else has been telling
me 'be good to Kasumi-san'."  Akane couldn't laugh at that, but
she did smile a little, and Ranma looked relieved.  "Have you
made up your mind about, you know, goin' away to college?" he
asked.

     "Yes.  Yes, I've made up my mind, and yes, I'm going," Akane
said firmly.

     "Oh."  Ranma chewed on his lip for a moment.  "I'll miss
you--"

     "Stop it," said Akane quietly, dropping her gaze and nearly
losing control of her voice.  "Stop being so nice.  I can't stand
it."

     "Sorry, Akane," Ranma said, startled.

     "Call me 'Akane-oneechan.'  Please."

     "Sorry, Akane, uh, onee-chan."

     She took a deep breath and let it out.  That was better.

     "Are you coming back?" Ranma asked, and she nearly lost it
again, because it sounded like it really mattered to him.

     "I expect so.  This is my home and my family, after all."

     "Right.  Good.  I was gonna say, I hope it works out for
you, but not so well I-- we never see you again, you know?"

     Akane considered that.  It was blunt, honest, and more than
a little egotistical, but underneath it was goodhearted... and
that was Ranma.  "I hope that too," she said, looking up again,
and meant it.  "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need some aspirin and
a bath.  And, Ranma-oniichan...."

     "Hm?"

     "Someday when I don't have a pounding headache, we're going
to have a little talk about P-chan."

     Ranma cringed.  "Oh, boy."

     "Yes.  Also, please be very careful not to walk in on me
while I'm in the bath from now on."

     "I--!" Ranma began to protest.  Akane held up an admonishing
finger, and he hung his head.  "I will," he agreed.  She walked
off carefully, staggering only a little on the steps up to the
walkway.

     ~~~~

     Ranma waited until Akane was safely out of earshot before
muttering, "I always was."  He turned to go back to the house and
saw Kasumi carrying a loaded laundry basket back in.  "Hey, you
need help with that?" he called, running up to her.

     Kasumi rewarded him with another warm smile.  "That's very
nice of you, Ranma, but I think I can manage, thank you."

     "Oh."

     "What's the matter, dear?"

     Ranma shrugged uncomfortably.  "Well, it just seems, you
know, like this ought to be more special for you.  I mean, I know
they spent all the money they could scrape up on the wedding and
there wasn't any for a honeymoon, but doing laundry the day after
your wedding?  Jeez."

     "Oh, I don't mind, really," Kasumi said, but she stopped and
regarded him, her head tilted a little to one side.  "Is there
something you'd like to do?"

     "Not that I can think of," Ranma confessed.  "That's the
weird part.  I feel like I oughta be doing something, but I don't
know what."

     "Well, it's a nice day.  How about if I pack a lunch and we
go to the park, then?"

     "It's a date," Ranma replied, and Kasumi's sparkle told him
he'd said the right thing.  He followed her into the house,
feeling almost cheerful.

     "Hey, is that my laundry?" Nabiki asked, meeting them in the
hall.

     "No, I'm afraid not, Nabiki," Kasumi said sweetly.

     "Rats.  Any idea when you'll get to it, then?"

     Ranma frowned, but before he could say anything Kasumi spoke
again in the same sweet tone.  "I expect I'll be too busy to wash
your clothes for quite a while.  A pity, isn't it?"

     Nabiki opened her mouth, closed it, cocked an eyebrow, then
did an about-face and stalked off.  "What's gotten into her?"
Ranma asked.

     "Oh, perhaps she's just bad-tempered because there wasn't
any breakfast left for her.  A pity, isn't it?"

     ~~~~~

     Purely by accident, their way to the park took them past the
Nekohanten.  It was dark and empty; one paper sign on the door
said "CLOSED", and the other said "FOR LEASE".  "Well, so much
for that," Ranma muttered.

     "Oh, dear.  Their kashiwa-mochi was so good, too.  And I
know you'll miss training with Shampoo and Mousse."

     "Uh, yeah," Ranma said, giving Kasumi a startled look and
hoping it wasn't a guilty one.

     "Should we go by Ucchan's and make sure nothing's happened
to them, do you think?"

     Ranma gave a little start, but there was no possible way
Kasumi could really be reading his mind.  "Sure, why not?" he
said casually.

     As they walked through Nerima's business district,
shopkeepers and passersby called and waved to Kasumi, and she
carefully introduced Ranma as her husband to everyone she
exchanged words with.  It was a good thing he was used to hearing
"be good to Kasumi-san", because he netted a couple of dozen
more, both in words and in easily-readable looks.  Several also
expressed concern for Akane.  Some congratulated him on his good
fortune, though, and a couple of guys sounded envious.

     The noren was hanging over the door at Ucchan's when they
got there, and Ukyo herself was out front sweeping.  Her face
went frozen for a moment when she looked up and caught sight of
Ranma and Kasumi, but then she smiled and beckoned to them.
"Hiya," she said as they came up.  "Wedding went OK, did it?"

     "Yeah, pretty much," said Ranma.

     "We missed you at the reception, Ukyo-san," Kasumi said
politely.

     Ukyo nodded.  "Well, you know how it is.  I didn't think it
would be, ah, comfortable for some people, even if it was fine
with you."

     "That was very considerate of you, Ukyo-san.  However, I
know you're one of Ranma's old friends, and I certainly hope
nothing I do will interfere with that."

     "Thanks, I appreciate that," Ukyo said, flicking a glance
that was very nearly a wink at Ranma.  "Treat you to an
okonomiyaki?"

     "Some other time," said Ranma, hefting the picnic basket he
carried.

     "Some other time," Ukyo agreed, and again her gaze at Ranma
was heavy with meaning.

     "Goodbye for now," said Kasumi brightly.

     Ranma wasn't in the mood for small-talk the rest of the way
to the park, and Kasumi didn't press him.  The cherry blossoms
were past their prime, but that meant the new green was opening
on the branches.  The grass had dried off from the last rains,
and the air was just a little cool.  On the whole, a nice day for
a picnic.  Kasumi unpacked the basket: leftovers from the
reception along with freshly-made tidbits, all good.  Ranma's
appetite was back, and he indulged it.

     "Thanks for the food," he sighed later.  "Didn't know I was
so hungry."

     "I'm glad you enjoyed it, Ranma," Kasumi said.  "It's a nice
day to be out... oh, my."

     "Hm?"  Ranma followed her look, and saw a couple on a
blanket not far away.  They appeared to be very... affectionate.
He glanced back at Kasumi.  Was she hinting that she wanted him
to...?

     "I really couldn't do anything like that," Kasumi said,
blushing.  "Well, not in a public place, anyway.  Some things
should be kept private, don't you think?"

     Ranma relaxed, relieved.  "Fine with me."  He'd had enough
of aggressive girls to last a while, he realized.

     "But I wouldn't mind if you, um, rested your head on my
lap... if you wanted to."

     "That'd be, uh, nice."  He popped up from his lounging
position on one arm, held the handstand for a moment, then rolled
back down the other side to land neatly with his head in her lap
and his legs stretched out.

     "Oh, my!  I was expecting you to get up and walk around!"
Kasumi said breathlessly, one hand to the base of her throat.

     "Sorry."

     "No, no, I should have expected it."  She caressed his
forehead affectionately, smoothing the thick hair there.  "It
really is a nice day."

     From the comfort of Kasumi's lap, soothed by the touch of
her hand, Ranma considered that.  "Yeah, I guess it is."

     ~~~~~

     When they returned to the Tendos', Ranma discovered where
his mother had been all morning: at home, packing.  The movers
had come and gone, and his meager belongings-- a pack, a chest of
drawers, and the contents of a half-full closet-- now resided in
the former Tendo guest room.  "I forgot I was gonna have to move
my things," he remarked.  "Good thing you remembered, Momma."

     "You're welcome, Ranma," Nodoka said.  "It's sad, having you
move out, though."

     Ranma looked at the room.  It was bigger than his room at
home-- at the Saotome home-- but not by much.  "Are you moving in
here too, Kasumi?"

     "Well, I'm just down the hall when you want me... we'll try
it this way and see how it works, shall we?"

     "Okay," Ranma said, blushing a little.  He'd been in
Kasumi's room a few times, getting his shirt mended and such, and
it always gave him a faint feeling of awe.  For him to move in
there just wouldn't be comfortable.

     ~~~~~

     In his room in the dark and silent house, Ranma lay waiting,
wondering whether Kasumi would come to his room, or whether he
was expected to go knock on her door and ask.  He was half hoping
she wouldn't, because Akane was just two thin doors away, and the
thought of doing it with Kasumi under those conditions was...
uncomfortable.  But if she did come to his room, he'd have to
tell her he couldn't, and then he'd have to tell her why, and
that wouldn't be easy either.  But maybe Kasumi was lying awake
in HER room, waiting for him to tap on her door, and wondering
why he hadn't... but if he did, he'd have to explain: not
tonight, dear, I have a qualm.

     Argh.

     He had a sudden fantasy of going to tap on Akane's door
instead, and what might happen afterward, and grimaced in shame.
That would be so wrong in so many ways; the worst way was that it
would be cruel, because the best thing for Akane now was to get
over him as quickly and easily as she could.

     It was gonna be a long night.

     ~~~~~

     In her room in the dark and silent house, Akane lay
listening tensely for footsteps in the hall... for taps on
doors... for soft, passionate sounds that would wrench her heart.
They had every right to, of course; it was their house.  They
were newlyweds on their honeymoon, even if it was a pretty poor
excuse for one.  They were entitled to that pleasure, and she
wasn't entitled to object to it.

     She really hoped they wouldn't, though.

     Everything was quiet.  Kasumi wasn't in Ranma's room.  She
could tiptoe across the hall and sneak in, just to see if he was
all right, or pretending to sleepwalk, or maybe even pretending
to be Kasumi, and then he might... and she would....

     Just two doors away.

     ~~~~~

     Passing Akane's room the next morning, Kasumi caught chaos
out of the corner of her eye.  She backed up and looked in on all
of Akane's things spread all over the room, with Akane in the
middle staring at two duffle bags.  "My goodness, Akane, what are
you doing?"

     "Packing."  Akane looked up and forced a smile over her
haunted expression.  "I'm getting ready to leave for college,
Oneechan.  I was just about to come ask you for a little help, if
you don't mind."

     "But you don't need to be there for at least another week,
do you?" Kasumi said, coming into the room with care to avoid the
piles.

     "I know.  I just figured I might as well go now.  It'll take
a while to find a place to live, get settled in, learn my way
around, stuff like that."

     "I... see.  Yes, that certainly makes sense."  Kasumi
hesitated, then said, "Do you want someone to go with you for the
first few days?  Father, or maybe Ranma?"

     Akane flinched.  "N-no.  Not Ranma.  He's... yours now.  It
wouldn't be fair to take him away from you.  Besides," she
continued hastily, "I know how tight money is.  If we couldn't
afford for you to go away on a honeymoon, we can't afford the
fare for someone to go all the way to Sendai and back for no
reason, can we?"

     "Do you need money, Akane?" Kasumi asked with concern.  "We
can spare a little...."

     "Thanks, Oneechan, but I think I'll be all right.  I have a
little saved up, and I'm sure I can find a part-time job to
stretch the scholarship money."

     "All right, if you're sure, but tell me if you change your
mind, won't you?  I know how much this means to you.  I just wish
you'd been able to go someplace closer, that's all, so you could
stay here."

     Akane flinched again.  "No," she said in a low voice.  "No,
I think it's better this way."

     The pain in her voice drew Kasumi a half-step forward, her
arms lifting a little, and that was all it took.  Akane gulped
and stumbled towards the comfort of her eldest sister's embrace
as she had not since she was a little girl, her eyes filling with
tears and her throat with sobs.  Kasumi caught her and tapped the
door behind her with one heel; it swung shut and clicked.

     ~~~~~

     The whole Tendo family accompanied Akane to the train
station, Ranma carrying a large bag full of martial-arts gear,
Akane carrying a smaller one full of clothes.  "I still say
you're too young to leave home!" Soun sobbed when they stopped on
the platform.

     Akane sighed patiently.  "Father, I'm nineteen."  She
gestured at the other people preparing to board.  "I'll bet half
the passengers on this train are my age and going off to college.
I'll be fine."

     "Oh, your mother in heaven would be so proud of you!"  Tears
continued to stream down Soun's cheeks, but now for a different
reason.

     "I hope so."  Akane gave him a hug and turned to Kasumi.

     "Remember to call and let us know where you are when you
settle down," Kasumi said, holding out her arms.

     "I will," Akane said over her sister's shoulder, patting her
on the back.  "I know you'll take good care of Father, Nabiki-
oneechan, and Ranma-oniichan, but take care of yourself, too,
won't you?"

     "Of course.  Please come home as often as you can."

     Nabiki tolerated a quick hug from Akane and said, "Keep your
grades up, eh?"

     "You know it," Akane replied, and then stopped short when
she saw the next person was Ranma.  She darted a glance at
Kasumi.  Ranma flicked his eyes that way and saw his wife's
approving smile, but he was still surprised when Akane stepped
forward and wrapped her arms around his ribs with crushing force.
Her face was turned down against his chest so he couldn't see her
expression, but he could feel her body trembling against his.
"Goodbye, Ranma," he heard her whisper.

     "See ya, Akane."  She let go of him and stepped back, wiping
her eyes quickly.  "If anyone gives you any trouble--"

     "I'll pound him flat," Akane promised with a half smile,
raising a clenched fist.  "Time to go," she added as the voice of
the announcer echoed through the station.  "Bye, everybody!"  She
scooped up her bags and boarded in a hurry.  The doors slid shut
and the train began to move.  Ranma searched for her face in the
windows, but couldn't find it, and then the train was gone.

     ~~~~~

     The letter came the next day, hand-delivered by a messenger
in an envelope addressed to "Tendo Ranma-sama".

     Dearest Ranma-sama,
     
          The heart of this Black Rose is shattered, pierced by a
     thorn keener and more bitter than any of her own.  My fool
     of a brother diverted me from preventing your marriage to
     another by a ruse that-- no, no, I cannot speak of it; it
     still shames me that I was taken in by such an idiotic ploy.
     His doctors tell me that he will recover soon.  I left him
     flowers, and now it will take a little longer.
     
          I reluctantly commend you on your choice of wife.  The
     eldest Tendo sister is formidable, far more so than the
     youngest, and perhaps even worthy of you... but I'm certain
     that one so canny was already aware of this.
     
          By the time you read this note, I will have departed
     Tokyo, venturing forth in search of solace with little hope
     that I will find it; for what man can compare to you?  I
     ask, as a final favor, for your good wishes.
     
          Farewell.  I will always love you.
     
          Kuno Kodachi

     Ranma read it again, then sniffed cautiously; sure enough,
the heavy cream-colored paper carried just a trace of Kodachi's
distinctive perfume.  She certainly had style.  He didn't owe
Kodachi anything, so there'd never been any question of offering
her a deal like Shampoo and Ukyo had gotten... but where those
deals felt more than a little sordid, this was graceful.  He
didn't feel affection for her, of course, but he couldn't help
but admire her a little.

     Well, elegant or not, this wasn't something to leave where
his wife might find it.  He tore it carefully across, again and
again, until he had a handful of confetti, then leaned over the
railing of the bridge across the canal and scattered it on the
waters.

     It seemed like the graceful thing to do.

     ~~~~~

     "Ranma, you have a visitor," Kasumi called one afternoon.

     "Really?  Who?"  Ranma got up from the floor where he was
idly reading, but he met Kasumi coming back from the front door
before he got there.  Behind her was-- "Ucchan?"

     "What, can't I come visit my ol' bud?" Ucchan said.  "I even
brought some okonomiyaki."

     "Sure, no problem... er...."  Ranma glanced at Kasumi.

     Kasumi was otherwise occupied.  "Why, thank you!  That's
very kind of you," she said graciously, accepting the boxes.

     "No problem.  Mind if I borrow Ran-chan for a while?"

     Ranma flinched and gestured urgently at Ukyo behind Kasumi's
back, but Kasumi just replied, "Not at all," and vanished into
the kitchen.

     "Great.  C'mon, Ran-chan, let's go spar a little."

     Ranma perked up.  "OK."  He was getting tired of doing kata
by himself, demolishing Genma wasn't much better, and Soun
refused to spar with him any more for some reason.  He led Ukyo
out to the dojo, but as soon as they were there he hissed, "What
the hell do you mean with your 'borrow Ran-chan', huh?!"

     "What's the matter?  Got a guilty conscience?"  Ukyo reached
back for her giant spatula and dropped into guard.

     "Huh?  I haven't DONE anything yet!" Ranma protested,
keeping his voice low.

     Ukyo attacked, the spatula making a whistling silver arc at
his knees.  "That's just why you oughta have a guilty conscience,
you moron!"

     "Make sense!"  Ranma jumped, ducked, and threw a spin kick.

     "Ooof!  When are you going to come see me?  It's been more
than a month!"

     "I come see you all the time," Ranma said between punches.
"Woop!"

     "Sure, with HER, or just to have a snack and a chat.  When
are you going to come, you know, SEE me?"

     Ranma shrugged uncomfortably, which coincidentally evaded a
swipe.  "I dunno."

     "Dammit, the honeymoon was over a long time ago.  I thought
maybe her time of the month would be my time, if you know what I
mean, but it's been too long for that too.  So when are you
coming to see me?"

     "I told you, I don't know!"

     Ukyo stopped and leaned on her spatula with a sigh.  "Okay,
then.  It took me long enough, but I finally know a stall when I
hear one.  You're not ready yet.  So I'm leaving, going back down
south, and taking Ucchan's with me."

     "Huh?  Why?"

     "Because it hurts me right here--" Ukyo thumped her chest
with one fist-- "like fire when I see you walkin' around town
with her, that's why!  If I had something she didn't, like we
talked about, I think I could live with it, but I don't, so I
can't."

     "Sorry, Ucchan...."

     "Yeah, I know," Ukyo said wearily.  "You're sorry, I'm
sorry, we're all pretty sorry-lookin'.  You still better do what
you said you would, or I'll come back here and do what I said.
You'll just have to do a little traveling for my sake."

     Ranma sighed.  "Gotcha."

     Ukyo came closer and looked him levelly in the eyes.  "Are
you going to keep your promise, so your mother can keep hers?"

     "Yeah, I will."  Ranma returned her steady gaze.  "It's a
promise I made myself, not somebody else's."

     "Good."  Ukyo's nod was unhappy, but satisfied.  "I'll drop
you a note when I know where I'll be.  See you later, Ran-chan.
Not too much later, though."

     ~~~~~

     Sure enough, Ucchan's was just another storefront the next
day.  Shampoo, Mousse, and Cologne were gone; he hadn't seen
Ryoga since the wedding party; Kodachi had "departed"; Akane was
off at college, and Kuno had headed north after Akane as soon as
he got out of the hospital.  Now Ukyo and Konatsu had left too,
and he was reduced to teasing Happosai just to get some exercise.

     Ranma headed for home, morose.  Maybe he'd become a dojo
destroyer or something.  Start teaching Musabetsu Kakuto, like
Soun was nagging him to.  Get a job as a waitress.  Something.

     "RANMA!  Because of you, I have seen Heaven!  I mean, Hell!
Prepare to die!"

     Thank all lucky stars for Ryoga.

     ~~~~~

     "I'm back!" Ranma called, slipping off his shoes inside the
front door of his house.

     "Welcome back, dear!" Kasumi's voice floated back from the
kitchen, accompanied by a delicious aroma.

     He was home.

     ~~~~~ end Compromising Situations ~~~~~

Notes:

     "A Man Among Women" was inspired by a question Dave Roeder
asked me: what serious and in-character scenario could be
contrived in which ALL the "fiancees" got Ranma?  We batted that
back and forth for a while, and eventually I wrote a story:

http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/amaw.txt

     It's not a likely scenario, I admit, and readers have
pointed out significant flaws in it, but it is possible, and the
responses I received indicate that it seems to have captured the
imagination of many of its readers.  It certainly captured mine.

     Even as I wrote AMAW, it seemed to me that it was just a
fragment of a much larger story.  It was necessary to allude to
the events which culminated in AMAW, and while I did not imagine
them in much detail at that time, the broad outline was clear
enough to provide the necessary foundation.

     In the aftermath of the release of AMAW, I realized that
there were several stories that could be told in that timeline,
in this chronological order:

* this story, "Compromising Situations".

* "Triangles", about Ranma's first "training trip" to Kansai and
China (in preproduction).

* "Black Rose, White Night", about the effects of Kodachi
becoming Ranma's mistress (not yet written).

* how Akane and Ranma finally consummate their long-hidden love
(not yet written).

* "Ranma and the Heart of the Phoenix", an adventure set just
before AMAW.

I expect to tell all of these stories eventually, and then the
original AMAW will be merely an epilogue.

I would like to thank Dave Roeder, Darniil Entroth, and Mike
Noakes for their exemplary prereading skills.

 - Vince Seifert, November 2002

Vince Seifert    Fanfic Analyst   FFIRC Frog
Prime:  seifertv@csus.edu
Backup: seifertv@myrealbox.com
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
Ideas are worth their weight in gold.




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