Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Mon, 04 Nov 2002 23:51:28 -0500 Carrot Glace
<Carrotglace@mindspring.com> wrote:
Ahem. Rather than flood the list with another copy of the same fic with
a single word changed. I decided to post this.
I'm reading the copy you pointed to at fanfiction.net, so I'll never see
the wrong word, but it might be useful for you to mention what word got
changed for the benefit of those who are reading the FFML copy.
Haruka cracked her knuckles as she glared at the two men standing
before her. "Well, it has been a while hasn't it boys?" She was
floating above the stage calmly as the crowd roared with excitement
behind her. She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced back at
the monsters that were quickly moving down the stairs {towards : toward} the
field and stage.
The things jumped into the air in unison {towards : at : toward} her, five of them
at once. Each roared as it extended its claws and teeth outward.
"Didn't you hear us fools? Destroy her!" snapped Zoicite.
One of the monsters reluctantly stepped forward.
Not such fools if they know better than to attack an irritated senshi.
The things never reached the {ground : crowd}; Haruka's fists and pure speed
stopped them both in the air. They were no more than ten feet apart
from each other when they jumped and she simply punched {them both : one}
out of the air and {: the other} towards the ceiling. {One of them : The first} slammed into
the cracked surface of the wall at the top of the stadium, sending
another pile of debris into the field, while the other simply dug
a deep gouge into the dirt.
"Hey! Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to help
me!?" screamed Hikari from where she hung. She was wiggling violently
against the microphone chord and looked a little upset.
So much for gratitude.
The backup singers slowly began to move back {towards : to : toward} the stage along
with some of the crew as they began to peek around from their hiding
places back stage. Two young girls rushed up to the pair as they stood
together in the middle of the stage.
"Damn." She sighed and looked down at herself for a moment. The dress
would come off, so it wasn't like she was stuck in the costume. She
decided to return {back :} to her hotel room {for now :}, a good night's sleep
would have to do for now. She had a lot of thinking to do anyway.
The man hung his head and turned to face it. "Sorry bout dis kid."
I really do like Spike.
"Yeah, I figured you'd say that," commented Carrot as he ducked under
a thrust and hooked his foot around her wrist, she was tossed aside as
he twisted his body {as he performed : into} a handstand.
"Ptu! What the heck are you doing!? You tryin to blind me or something?"
"Why yes," was the simple reply.
Don't ask the question if you don't want the answer.
"So what can we do now? If we get seen as the senshi again, we're all
grounded."
Minako grinned cheerfully. "Besides, maybe the world doesn't need the
Senshi anymore? I mean look at this." She held up a paper with
Spiderman on the front page.
You didn't capitalize senshi in on paragraph and did in the other.