I think, before going into this piece, I have some explaining
to do. This work of fan-fiction isn't a retelling so much as it was an
insight, a look into the thoughts and feelings of the main character
as I felt them while reading the original, mixed with my own imagined
fears of 'What if'. The spoken dialogue is 80% true to the translation
of the Manga I have, ripped completely; only the offered, supposed
internal dialogue and feelings of the main character, and an alternate
end offer any deviance from plagiarism. For that I ask your leave.
I suppose I did this more for myself than anything. I offer
this only as a breakwater to the norm, to those interested in
something a little... different.
"Katahaba no Mirai" (A Shoulder-Width Future)
Taken from the One-shots collection "Mirai no Yukue" (Whereabouts of
the Future)
by Mr. Hajime Yamamura
Characters, though unnamed, and original situation are not mine.
1st person perspective version was written by JJ Corley
---------------
"Gotta Pee, Gotta Pee, Gotta Pee..." This was my mantra as I
hastily fumbled towards the restroom of my small apartment, my mind
only concentrating on the need at hand. It wasn't until I had gone
about my business that I noticed.
* * *
A Shoulder-Width Future (First person Perspective)
* * *
I collapsed before my coffee table, having led her in after
screaming my fool head off. "Geeze, you scared me half to death.
Thought I was going to have a heart attack or something. How long were
you standing in the Genkan, anyway?" I asked, referring to the foyer
of my Japanese apartment.
She shrugged, setting one of the two bowls of Chinese take-out
she had brought along with her before me. "Eh, maybe ten minutes or
so. It was kinda out of the blue, so I was wondering when you'd
notice."
We spent a moment eating in companionable silence before she
asked: "Did I really scare you that badly?"
"Yes. Don't do that again."
She smiled impishly. "All righty."
A moment later, I was scraping the remnants of food from my
bowl. "Hey, was that all you brought?"
"Feheheh. Don't worry." She said, rising with a wink before
disappearing into the kitchen. "I've a special treat for you!"
I idly wondered when she managed to get to the fridge, but
wrote it off, remembering she had gone to the kitchen to dish up the
Chinese. She returned, placing a cake box on the table, opening it
proudly.
"I got some cake from the Yamatomura bakery!" A brief
inspection of the box's contents revealed not only two slices of
chocolate cake, but a pair of strawberry parfaits as well. No wonder
the meal had been relatively light.
I looked at her, studying her face as she sat looking back at
me with that wistful sad expression, her chin propped up with both
hands. She wrinkled her nose with a softly tender smile, as I grew
more and more confused, my face reflecting this fact. "Not to sound
ungrateful... But... What's all this for?" I asked.
"To celebrate your Birthday, of course."
Okay, now I'm confused. "My Birthday? But that's still half a
year awa..." It hit me, right about then, just why she was doing this
now. My face darkened, my lips taut as I try to keep from saying it.
Denying the problem won't make it disappear, and she's accepted it so
well. I just... I...
I rise, determined not to get moody and depressed. Not over
this, something that obviously means so much to her. "Fine. I'll go
brew some coffee."
The offer, and my outward reaction pleased her. "Excellent!
You make the best coffee in town!" she said, grinning madly.
Coffee brewed, cups poured, and poured again, the cake
consumed in silence. I rise again, retrieving the next item she'll
need in but a moment. I turn on the tap, filling the glass, and
return, setting the water before her. Her, and the pills. Reams and
piles of foil-protected capsules that will do nothing save prolong the
inevitable. But they dull the pain. They make her sleep. They keep her
digestion working properly. They stave off fate until... God, I'm
getting moody again. Watching her swallow pills which, together, cost
the same as my apartment... All for so little. "You didn't forget any,
did you?"
"Geeze, now you're sounding like Father."
The glass, empty now, settles back down to the table. We are
all smiles again. On the outside.
"Hey, not that I mind, but why 'today', anyway?"
At that question, she dove into her handbag with an almost
childlike glee, delight easily radiating off of her. "Well, to answer
that question..." she pulled a fairly large, square, wrapped box from
her bag, smiling at me. "Tadaah! A Present for you!"
I took the proffered box with no hesitation, slipping a finger
under the seal of the plaid wrapping paper, and removed the box. I
blinked, my brain not registering the value of the object in my hands
for a moment. "The hell?! They released a remastered version of
this?!" I asked, flipping the box over to read the blurb on the back.
She was smiling. I could tell by the tone in her voice. She
was glad I was happy with it. "When I stopped by that Laser Disc
Shoppe, they had that on sale." My hands were literally shaking,
trying to open the package as carefully as possible. "You were saying
from a while ago that you wanted it, right? When I saw it today, I
thought I'd do 'this' for you."
"Wow. I mean, it's... Just... Wow. Thank you." I said, not
able to think of much more to say. "I should return the favor to you.
What would you like...?" I turned to look at her on a whim, and she
was still smiling. But this was a different sort of smile, more on the
predatory aspect. I sighed. I owed it to her, and she hasn't -No!
Don't even think it. "Fine. What is it, and how much does it cost...?"
That handbag held more than the box. As I said that, she
pulled out a few beauty magazines, rattling off a stream of
explanations and howsits and whatalls that I was lost in. But she was
ecstatic. "Fine, fine... whatever. Sheesh. I was going to use my
paycheck to by a new LD player next week, but..."
"But what? All you have to do is wait just a little longer
than before." She said, slightly irked as I placed the first of the
three Laser Disks on the tray. It slid home and spooled up, as we both
sat, leaning against the table, to watch the TV.
In twenty minutes I was enthralled.
In thirty minutes, she was sleeping.
Forty minutes in, she snapped to attention with a small
feminine sound.
At the hour mark, she was asleep again.
The movie ended after two and a half hours. I was pleased; the
remastered version had a much crisper image and sound than the VHS,
which I already owned. The sound of the LD drawer opening and my
removing the LD to slip it back into its protective case awoke her.
"Nnnmmm... sorry. Was I sleeping?"
"Like a rock." I said, jokingly.
"Heheh. Sorry. These monotonous Anime's... I'm really not very
good with them." She said, blushing. "I'll, umn... Clear the dishes."
"Whatever." I can't blame her, though. That series is rather
dry and boring. But I kinda like it. I'll just watch the rest of it
later. I put the LD box on the LD, VHS, and CD cluttered entertainment
center/shelving unit before settling back down, looking over towards
her handbag. Behind it, one of my old storage boxes sits, the
houseplant inside looking slightly wilted. I have to remember to water
it soon. Remember? What else was I? Oh, yes...
"Hey.." I called towards the kitchen.
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to live together?" I asked as nonchalantly as I
could.
"Humnn.. I thought about doing that 'before', but..." Her tone
was slightly regretful.
"No, huh?" I returned, slouching a little more because of her
answer. I want to take care of her.
"My mom and dad would get lonely, you know? I mean, even today
they were reluctant about my leaving the house."
"Urrg." I sigh. Yes, I can see it now, the over protective
parents keeping their beloved daughter from the nosey boyfriend in her
declining health. Yup. I bang my head against the table softly. The
situation sucks.
"I'll try to come by and see you every day, okay..?" She said,
coming back into the room. *Thunk* "Umn, what's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing. I just hate myself, is all." *Thunk*
She lifted my head from the table with her small hands,
forcing me too look at her. "Hey, you know how my 'rents are. I'd love
to stay here if I could, but..."
"I know. I just want to..."
"I know." She smiled weakly, at first, and then firmed it.
"Now, I want you to watch the rest of 'Legends of Galactic Heroes'."
"You wanna fall asleep again?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as
she sauntered over to the bed. She stuck her tongue out at me, holding
up one of the various magazines she had assaulted me with earlier.
"I'll just read these. I haven't yet, you know."
I shrugged, reaching for the LD box again. "Okay. You asked
for it."
The next few hours flew by. God, I love this series.
"I DID IT!!" she suddenly exploded from behind me.
"Huh?"
"Look, look! I got it!" I turned to see her pointing at one
particular page, but couldn't see what the big deal was.
"Got what?" I asked.
She rose from the bed, grabbing onto my head and forcing my
nose into the book. "The crossword puzzle, idiot! You can enter a
drawing with the completed puzzle, and win prizes, one of which is a
Laser Disk Deck!"
I looked at the rules and prize-listing column, my hopes
rising, and then falling. "Aww, it's no good. The prizes aren't that
good, so even if you won..." I said, shrugging, "My current system is
still better than that one."
"WHAT?!" She said, her face dropping. "The hell! Since you
bitched about your deck, I tried to do something about it!"
"Eh, nice try." Wrong answer.
She suddenly became very angry. "The hell kinda snide remark
is that?!" She demanded, throwing the magazine and her fists at me. I
took the magazine full in the face, but managed to catch her fist in
my hand.
"Hey, hey, calm down! Calm down! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I
cringed, shrinking back away from her a bit. "I appreciate it,
really!"
"Bah." She said, settling back down a bit, but still giving me
a hard look.
I sigh again, catching sight of the clock. "Oh, hey... It's
almost eleven. Why don't you get ready for bed, eh?"
"Bed?" She said, blinking, all her anger gone in a moment.
"Oh, it is getting late, isn't it!" She stated, standing, her hands
busy with the buttons of her blouse. I watched her undress for a
moment before going back to my show, the sight of old scars from
countless failed surgeries burned fresh in my mind. All of this, for
nothing. I shake myself; Don't think it!
Lost in the anime once again. Brought back once again. "The
Hell, where's my toothbrush? It's not in the bathroom."
"Oh, uh... Yeah, look by the window, in the bath: I sterilized
it for you." I called back, no longer watching the LD, but instead
some late night TV. Ah, mindless TV. No thought required. The sound of
her preparations became louder, until I realized she was right behind
me. "I'm sorry..." she said softly, her voice muffled by the
toothbrush in her mouth, but the emotion choking her words coming
through just the same. "...That I won't make it ... until your real
birthday."
That managed to shatter what little piece of mind I had
managed to keep throughout the evening. I didn't want to think it, I
didn't dare to think it... And she said it. I couldn't see anything. I
was lost, for a moment, in despair. And when I found myself again, I
was incredibly pissed off. "Don't say that." I demanded, my voice
shaking. "Say it again and I'll kick your ass."
All sound, save for the television, stopped for a moment. And
then...
"Hold on a second! Letterman's interviewing Sean Connery!" She
ran towards the TV, toothbrush in hand, and quickly looked about.
"Quick, find me a tape!"
"What?" I asked, incredulous. "Bu, I don't have a blank right
now!"
"I don't care, just use one of these that're lying around!"
She said, grabbing one off the stack on the floor, labeled #11.
"Ack! No, not that one! That's got last week's Simpsons!" I
tried to stop her, but to no avail. The happy red Record light was
already going full tilt. I collapsed on the table, as she stared off
into the TV, lost in her own world.
"Ah, Sean... He's soo sexy!"
"You little... Urrg." I sigh again. "Damnit, I'm going to
sleep."
"Okay, brush your teeth!"
"Screw my teeth." I replied, shucking off my shirt, replacing
it with one from the sleepwear drawer.
"Okay, I'll not kiss you goodnight then. Bad breath, ick." She
said impishly.
I paused in mid pull of my PJ bottoms. "Oh, Jesus Harold
Christ..." I mutter, pulling them up the rest of the way before
ducking into the bathroom. Toothbrush, toothpaste, water, squirt,
scrub, rinse, gargle, spit; Minty Fucking Fresh. I return, finding her
still glued to the Tele, making little giggling noises. I sighed and
flipped off the light.
The futon welcomed me in a semi-soft embrace as I simply fell
into it, the frame creaking slightly. I grabbed at the covers and
pulled them over myself, ignoring the light and the sound from behind
me. My eyes close, and darkness welcomes my consciousness.
I always did fall asleep easy.
Time passes oddly when asleep. I awoke, her hand on my cheek,
her soft brown eyes staring into mine. Such a sad, sad look. I catch
her hand in my own, drawing it near and placing a kiss on her palm.
"I'm sorry." She said again, and for a moment I match her
look, measure for measure. "I know I'm a pain..."
"It's not you." I said finally, after I silenced her with a
finger. "It's the pills. The doctors warned you that odd behavior was
a possible side affect."
"I still cause you trouble." Sadly said, she looked away.
"Even if its trouble, it's you. I can't ask for anything
more." I replied, drawing her closer to me, holding her tightly.
Our lips met, our souls touched, and the world was still and
safe once again. For the first time today, my fears were calmed
completely. She might not have much time left, but at least we're
together.
"I love you." She said, muffled slightly as she pressed
herself to me.
"Love you back." I ruffled her hair with a free hand, and
pressed my forehead to hers. "Now, sleep."
She looked up to me, smiled, and nodded.
God curse cervical cancer.
--------------------------------------------
The comic went on from here, but not this re-telling of it.
I thank you for your time.
-JJ Corley
LC!P
http://mslcp.cjb.net
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