We'll do a newer one. Not familiar with the source material, so bear with
me:

She strode purposefully down the street, unmindful of anything except her
purpose.

I assume the double use of purpose is intentional. It felt intentional.

More than a few heads turned to stare at her; she ignored it,

Don't know if the numbers agree there. heads=it. 'them might be better than
it. If not, I recommend rewording.


 having grown

accustomed to it long ago. There were many reasons for the stares.
Certainly, her beauty was one of them; often she'd been told she was quite
beautiful, though it meant little to her. She was what she was; what she

was

was not vain, nor engrossed in the pursuit of beauty.

that sentence parses awakward too.

She simply was what

she was.

Her height also tended to gain attention. Unusually tall and graceful for

a

Japanese woman, her height tended to intimidate many of those around her,
particularly men over whom she towered as much as a full head at times.

Not

that she cared; such concerns were beneath her.

As where the men. :)

Her manner of dress, certainly, was

don't think you need the secone comma

"Mrewr?"

Perhaps it was the cat.

After all, few Japanese women walked around with a full-grown Iriomote
mountain cat draped around their necks.

Rarer still when they were live ones. :)

                          --A!--


She hummed to herself as she made breakfast. It was a quiet tune she

hummed

sometimes, that made her think about the past.

Thinking about the past made her think about happy things, and thinking
about happy things made her remember that there was something vaguely
important to do today.

Which means it is in fact very important probably. Like Yomiko Readman and
her notes she left everywhere with useful tips like 'Eat', 'Wash your face'
and 'breathe.' :)

Thinking about flying alien cats setting fire to girls' pigtails and

burning

the taiyaki on a grill made her think about the cute genius girl from high
school who had been her best friend and whose father was probably an alien
cat who grew tomatoes.

Gotta make a living somehow. :)

With the light-hearted giggle of a child, Mihama Chiyo rushed to greet the
first of her old classmates to arrive.

Hmm. I'd wager they are still the same, just taller.

"Mom's got stuff to do today. Besides, they might want to see him, you
know."

Prolly. Women are like that.

The tall woman's eyes widened. "Sou ka," she breathed. "So then, what do

you

do with yourself?"

"School, still," Chiyo said, giggling. "I like school too much. After high
school, I went to America and graduated from two different schools there.
Then I came back here, and now I'm going to Toudai."

"Toudai?" Sakaki blinked. "And after American schools too?"

Chiyo: Soon I will learn everything.  MUHAHAHAHA!

She stopped outside a store to buy a can of coffee from a vending machine,

Odd to think of buying a can of coffee from vending machines. :)

"Well, you just never were the type, ne?"

"Are you saying I'm not motherly?"

"I'm just saying it'll be a surprise, from you."

"...urusai."

It's like deja vu all over again. :)

The other woman's eyes widened. "Chiyo-chan?" she asked. "But you're..."

"Well of course! It's been five years. What, did you think I was always
gonna be a little kid?"

Well, yes.

Tomo leaned closer to her, peering into her eyes, studying her hair, then
aiming her gaze downward to the younger girl's chest. "OOOOOHHHH!" she
exclaimed. "Chiyo-chan has breasts!"

Heh. I think this might go on for a while.

"So you just...go

space between last dot and go

Kurosawa shot Yukari a venomous look, her face dark red. "I...was
indiscriminate one night, I admit," she said with a sigh. "But I don't
regret Aki-chan one bit." She smiled at the baby. "He's the most precious
thing in the world, my little Akira!"

A silence greeted that.

Hmm. Why?

"It's just a TV show," Sakaki demurred.

"How glamorous! The life of showbusiness...fame

space here too

"It's a kiddy show," Kagura explained, grinning. "Sakaki here prances

around

in a spotted loincloth with Maya and a bunch of kitties in a fake jungle

and

entertains kindergarteners."

Girls got to make a living, you know. :)

"Well, I just so happen to be very important in the entertainment industry
also!" Tomo said, standing and gesturing to herself as she boasted. "I'm a
famous seiyuu!"

"Wow!" Chiyo said.

"Sugee ya," Osaka opined.

"A seiyuu? Like anime?" Kagura asked.

"She does voiceovers for hentai computer games," Yomi put in.

Hehehehe. Girls got to make a living, you know.

The pale girl nodded. "Yeah, but..." she shrugged. "So do all the other
clerks. It's a very boring job. That's why it's perfect."

true

"Haaai!" Baby in her arms, Kaorin rushed to the living room and turned on
the television.

She never missed 'Tarzanna of Kitty Jungle'.

Nice sentimental little piece. Not much happened, but it does have the
potential to be expanded upon. I was able to follow it easily. nice work.

D.B. Sommer

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