Subject: [FFML] [C&C][Ranma/SM/OMG] A Different Viewpoint: Curses and Demons: Chapter 29
From: Michael A Chase
Date: 11/4/2002, 11:37 AM
To: ffml@anifics.com, Christopher Olsen


Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Mon, 04 Nov 2002 02:46:05 -0800 Christopher Olsen
<christopherolsen28@hotmail.com> wrote:

He hated these jobs. As head of Homicide, it was all too often his duty to
inform people of the loss of a loved one. It was far worse when it came to a
situation like this, telling a mother about her child's death. <We don't
{knowfor : know for} sure she's dead.> He thought for a moment. 

He looked up to the building he had arrived at. <Here's the hospital...
better get this over with.> He got out of his car an started trudging up the
steps. <God, I hate this part of the job. It never gets any easier.> 

Must be tall steps. ;}b

The doctor looked up from the computer on her desk. "Detective? Well, am I
{insome : in some} sort of trouble?" She had a rather bland expression on her face and
{itwas : it was : it took} a moment before Inspector Megure realized he was being kidded. 

It took him a few minutes to give the doctor all the details. {Through out : Through : Throughout}
{hisrather : his rather} grisly story, the Doctor sat very still, hardly breathing. When he
had finished however.... 

Doctor Mizuno looked at the rather large, {grim faced : grim-faced} man calmly. "I've given
this speech before, {detective : Detective}. You don't have much of a bedside manner, do
you?" She bowed her head. "I'm sorry, I'm not myself right now. I should go
home, get some sleep. You'll keep me informed of any news?" 

It is interesting that she recognizes what he is doing and realizes that
she's been in his position before herself.

The doctor frowned slightly. "{Yes detective : Yes, Detective}. What is it?" 

He sighed, scratching his head. "{Well doctor : Well, Doctor}, the case is a rather unusual
one, but If you wouldn't object I know someone who specializes in... odd
cases. If your daughter is alive, he'd be the man to find her." 

"Well, then what are you waiting for, Inspector? Give him a call!" With a
swift movement, she handed the detective her desk phone. 

I like her attitude.

She just switched from calling him 'detective' to 'inspector'.  This seems
reasonable since she just switched from receiving the news the he brought
to requesting (or demanding) action from him.

I'm not familiar with Mouri Kogorou.  Is he from another anime?

"That's {nice father : nice, Father}." Ran said as she fried the eggs over the stove. "What
makes it so interesting?" 

Ran shook her head. "That's {terrible father : terrible, Father}, but why is that interesting? It
sounds all too common really." 

Her father shook his head. "An escaped panther was found near the {girls : girl's}
clothing and purse, with blood on its jaws. The panther wasn't from any zoo
either... probably an exotic pet, or that's what the police think at least."
He frowned. "The girl's body hasn't been discovered yet." 

The Mouri's house guest, 7 year old Conan Edogawa was listening intently
behind his school books. <I wonder... the girl's clothes could have been
dumped there by a kidnapper, but where does the panther come in? That is
{whatmakes : what makes} this so interesting... could it have been a guard animal, or an
experiment subject? I'll have to check this out.> 

Ah!  Detective Conan.  I keep meaning to get that series in some form and
have never gotten around to it yet.

"The still half awake and unshaven detective shrugged. "What does it matter,
bring the little brat." He stood up slowly. "Guess I'll... go get ready...
{orsomething : or something}." <I need a drink.> He wandered off into the living room. 

I'm not sure where all these joined words are coming from.

The zoo veterinarian was filling them in. "The animal was in very good
health. It was well groomed, with a clean pelt, and it was well fed. It was
obviously used to captivity, for it didn't react overtly when it awoke in
{ourfacility : our facility}." Detective Mouri was looking at an attractive lady vet doing
some paperwork. 

Mouri, hearing this, turned around. "Ah hah! As I thought, the panther did
come from a zoo! It was stolen from a foreign zoo and smuggled here! The
{girlobviously : girl obviously} came across the smugglers by accident, and they had to grab
{herto : her to} keep her quiet!" 

The vet blinked at the detective's vehemence. "Ah... no, I'm afraid no zoo
has reported losing one of its black panthers. The panther was shipped to
{oursister : our sister} zoo last night to aid in a breeding program we've been trying
recently." 

Ran blushed. "Did you say... a breeding...." 

Conan was shuffling his shoes in an agitated way. "Doctor, sir... why did
{yousend : you send} the panther away so soon?" 

The vet scratched his head. "Actually, that's been puzzling me as well. The
word came down that the need for this panther was immediate, but no one
{askedme : asked me} if she was ready for {a :} mating, I never even got to run any tests...
they just sent her away, just like that." 

Kogorou puffed himself up. "Well of course... Doctor, where did that panther
get sent and why? Who authorized it? This is a very important witness...."
{Hefrowned : He frowned}, "Or do I mean piece of evidence?" He said low under his breath.
"Well, it's important to the case!" He told the veterinarian firmly. 

Kogorou puzzled over the file for a few moments, muttering to himself. "It
says here that the panther was... shipped to San Francisco? For a chance
test... what does this mean?" 

What is a chance test?

As the trio left the zoo, Mouri confided to his daughter. "We'll check out
this 'Tendo Dojo' next. Strange animals and people have been spotted there
{onoccasion : on occasion}. There is supposed to be an escaped panda living there as well.
I'm sure that's these 'Tendo's' are part of the smuggling ring! This 'Ami'
has been taking martial arts lessons there." 

Conan's thoughts weren't on what Ran had just been saying though. <She's so
beautiful... when she's talking about something she really cares about,
{she'samazing : she's amazing}!> 

****************** 

Nodoka sat on the back porch of the Tendo home, quietly sipping a cup of tea
while her husband battled Soun only a few feet behind her in their never
ending battle of tactics and {guile� : guile} otherwise known as Shogi. Sometimes it
was Go, and today Shogi, but the battle was in general the same one, played
over and over again between the two men. Nodoka thought they would never
{tireof : tire of} it, and truthfully that was fine with her. The clack of tiles, the
constant cheating, all faded to a pleasant drone in the background that was
quite soothing. 

She needed something to calm her nerves, really, with all the stress she was
going through with worrying about her son and his extended family. A
demoness, of all things, was the last thing she wanted to be thinking about,
although Nodoka supposed it was appropriate, having a demoness show up to
balance out her husband and Soun�s demon master Happosai. Not that Happosai
was really a demon, as much as he seemed to be sometimes. Nodoka looked up
{atthe : at the} sound of Nabiki entering the living room from the hall and turned to
glance back at her with a smile. 

I'm not sure what the character after 'guile' is in the first paragraph
above.  It is just a box character to me, but I don't think anything is
needed there.

"Hi!" Mara said cheerfully to the surprised housewife. The sound of a katana
sliding out of a wooden sheath was Nodoka's only response, the blade nearly
taking the {demonesses : demoness's} head off in mid swing, surprising Mara as much as she
had Nodoka. From the hall, Nabiki gaped at the older woman as Nodoka showed
an amount of competence with her blade that she had never before shown,
driving the demoness back with a series of deadly strokes that Mara was only
barely able to evade. 

The middle Tendo sister did not stay around to watch, however, and darted
{outof : out of} the hall, heading for the living room. 

Mara chuckled. "Everyone wants to be a hero these days. Luckily, I do have a
choice in what "I" do." She wrinkled her nose. "Now let me see... what
{shouldI : should I} do...." <Preferably something she won't fight... an inner wish of
some kind?> 

Nodoka glared at Mara in anger. "I'll have you know my family has always
{agedvery : aged very} well, thank you." 

Gives "Careful what you wish for" a whole extra bite.

There was a sudden shout, and Mara felt a sudden breeze, then saw two long
furrows plow into the ground in front of her, just before the top half of
{herbody : her body} fell face first into the dirt. She looked up with a pained grimace,
only to see Nodoka looking back at her with a shocked expression on her
face.

"Damn." Mara glanced back at her lower half, only to watch it topple over a
moment later, her legs and lower body falling over to the side, even as
{GenmaSaotome : Genma Saotome} landed lightly behind her. "Damn!" Mara levered herself up with
one arm slowly, and pointed her other hand, palm first, at the rotund
{martialartist : martial artist}. "Now... you've really pissed me off." With an explosion of
black energy Genma flew backwards into the far wall, cracking it, then
slumped to the ground, head lolling to one side. 

"Do you have any idea how much that tickles?"

Mara slowly stood, brushing herself off and and glaring at Genma angrily.
"Now that HURT! You're going to pay for that, mortal." She grinned slowly.
"And when a demon says you're going to pay...." Genma leapt away from her,
jumping to the rooftop and leaping out of sight in only moments. "Wow!" Mara
said, sounding slightly impressed. "Now that was some fast running away...."
She levitated after him, following Genma into the backyard, leaving Nodoka
alone by the front door. Ranma's mother turned around to follow, only to
{fallflat : fall flat} on her face as she tripped on her oversized kimono. 

Mara had the large martial artist cornered in the corner of the Tendo's back
yard when a sixth sense warned her of danger behind. Mara glanced backwards
just in time to dodge the warded arrow that an armored Samurai warrior had
launched at her only an instant before. "Whoa!" She skittered backwards
quickly, getting some distance between her and the Samurai as he nocked yet
another arrow to his {greatbow : great bow}. Mara heard Genma rising to his feet behind
{herat : her at} the same time and sighed. "I don't believe this." She raised a hand.
"Fine, you win this round." Snapping her fingers, she vanished in a puff of
smoke. 

I don't think I'd capitalize samurai here, but it's your call.

"Are you alright, little girl?" Ran asked the scared looking waif. <Is
that... a {Katana : katana}?> 

Kogorou looked at the gate sign. "Ah, the Tendo {dojo : Dojo}! This is it alright!"
Heturned to look at Nodoka. "Hello little girl, do you live here?" 

Nodoka shook her head at first. "No, I don't, the Tendo's are good friends
{ofmine : of mine}...." Then she trailed of into silence. The look of shock on her face
deepened for a moment. "Ah no!" She said suddenly in a very different tone
{ofvoice : of voice}. "My... Daddy is here! He's Mr.. Tendo's friend! I'm too little to
practice the martial arts, my Daddy says so! I'm waiting for him." 

All the time, Conan was watching Nodoka, a growing comprehension and horror
growing on his face. <This little girl... the way she was talking just
now...it was like an older woman... a traditional type, maybe 30 or 40 years
old... and her kimono is much to big for her... it can't be! She's
pretendingto be a little girl... but she can't be... it must be... APTX! The
same drug that changed me into this child's body!> 

He strode forward, extending his hand with a deliberately cheerful grin.
"{Hi,my : Hi, my} name's Conan! You said your father is a martial artist right? That's
so cool!" 

"Um... yes, Gen... my father... is a friend of {Mr.. : Mr.} Tendo." Nodoka was
finding it hard to think. <How old am I? How did I talk when I was this
young... it's so hard to remember.> She grinned back at the enthusiastic
young boy. "Um... hello, Conan. My name is... Manami Saotome." She said,
recalling the name of a childhood friend. 

She nodded. <Hmm... then I might be 10 or 11 years old now....> "I'm 11
{yearsold : years old}." Nodoka confided. Ran and her father had started for the front
dooras 'Manami' and 'Conan' talked. 

Detective Mouri was already hot on the case. "What do you know about a
missing girl?" He questioned the fat, balding man in the {Gi : gi}. 

Genma was quick to deny anything. "Missing girl?" He pointed at Nodoka. "But
who's that over there?" Everyone glanced at the small girl in confusion.
Before they turned back, there was a loud splash from the pond nearby. When
they did look for the man, he was gone... and a {Panda : panda} was playing with a
{tirenear : tire near} the pond. 

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Right {daddy : Daddy}, I'll take his panda-ness and feed him.
What did you want me to feed him too?" 

Conan spoke up. "Could I have some tea mister? I'm kinda thirsty!" He
{grinnedwinningly : grinned winningly} as he sat down at the kotatsu in the middle of the room,
swinging his legs underneath the low table. 

Kogorou nodded. 'That's right! She's missing, and her clothing was found
{nearan : near an} escaped panther." He stared hard at Soun. "You wouldn't know anything
about a panther, would you?" He pointed outside. "You are keeping {an
endangered : a} panda here... are there any other animals?" 

"Kogorou, Detective Mouri Kogorou." He told her again, standing up. "I'm
working with the police on this case, Miss, and I can get a warrant if I
{needone : need one}. "Now, could we see the rest of the house?" 

Upstairs, Misty could hear the conversation clearly. <I should leave before
they see me... but where should I go?> There's {no where : nowhere} good to hide in the
house.> She looked around her room. <What would Johnathon do? No... what
would Ranma do?> 

Nabiki was still stalling on the stairs. "Do you have any ID, Mr.
{Detective?"She : Detective?"  She} said with a hint of irony in her voice. 

I suppose Ranma would blow something up, but that wouldn't work for Misty.

Soun closed the door. "Sorry old friend." He turned to Mouri. "That's just
{myold : my old} friend, Genma Saotome. His son married my daughter this year to take
over our school of martial arts! We're both very proud." 

Nabiki lead them {too : to} each room in turn, noting details for them. Mouri
{ seemedsatisfied : seemed satisfied}, but Conan was suspicious. <She's obviously stalling... why?>


In the final room, a larger bed dominated. Nabiki explained. "This is my
sister Kasumi and her husband's room. Note the large, comfortable bed, which
is already showing signs of wear...." She grinned. "They've only been
{marrieda : married a} few months." Ran blushed, Mouri coughed self consciously. 

Mouri pointed to Nabiki. "This young lady has shown me papers for the panda,
and {Mr.. : Mr.} Tendo has explained that he hasn't seen Miss Mizuno since she came
to class last Sunday." He frowned and hit Conan on the head. "And don't
question {me boy : me, Boy}! It's obvious we're wasting our time here!" He thought about
Soun Tendo. <Besides, such a good looking fellow wouldn't stoop to anything
criminal, that's certain.> 

Kasumi stretched her wings slowly, feeling a minor twinge of residual pain.
"I think I could try flying again..." She said hopefully, although the
{quaverin : quaver in} her voice betrayed her. Honestly, the idea of stepping off the
rooftop she was on and attempting to fly again was positively terrifying.
{Thememory : The memory} of her flight to her currently lofty perch seemed too ethereal,
{tooimpossible : too impossible} to be real, and despite the fact that she had indeed flown to
where she was, it was hard to make herself believe that she could repeat the
performance. 

The winged girl walked carefully up to the edge of the rooftop and looked
down, noticing with a mixture of disappointment and relief that the streets
were still crowded, and given the position of the sun in the sky, would be
{sofor : so for} hours to come at {the :} least. On the negative side, that meant she
{didn'tdare : didn't dare} attempt another flight with so many possible witnesses, but at
{thesame : the same} time she was perversely relieved that she didn't have to risk flying
again so soon. 

"These wings really are a bother." Kasumi frowned to herself, turning away
from the roof's edge and folding her wings over her shoulders with a shrug.
It still amazed her at how much control she had over her new appendages, but
despite how powerful and flexible they were, there was one thing that made
them extremely inconvenient. "If I keep getting splashed like this I'll run
out of clothes in days." She sighed. "It was bad enough when I just turned
into a cat, but at least then I didn't ruin whatever I was wearing when I
{gotsplashed : got splashed}." 

She probably ought to invest in some backless one-piece swimsuits.


Kasumi glanced back off the building, into the city, looking around for any
sign of her family or friends come to rescue her. "I wonder if they will be
able to find me way up here?" Just then, Kasumi spotted a figure in a black
cloak far below, moving from rooftop to rooftop while obviously searching
{forsomething : for something}. "Oh my! That's Tuxedo Kamen-san! I wonder if he's looking for
me?" Forgetting for a moment her current state of undress, Kasumi stepped to
the edge of the building and waved vigorously down at the man below. "Hello!
Tuxedo Kamen-san! Hello!" The caped and masked man looked upwards at her
call, spotting her almost immediately. 

Kasumi waved for a moment more, then belatedly realized that she was
{flashingthe : flashing the} masked defender of justice, even if from almost a hundred feet
away. With a blush so bright she wondered if he could see despite the
distance, the winged girl covered herself as best as she could with her
arms,her wings folding down over her shoulders as well to provide an
additional cover. Tuxedo Mask was already glancing away, looking around for
{agood : a good} way up to the roof. Nodding to himself after a moment, Tuxedo Mask
started over toward the building's front entrance. 

"They are pretty, aren't they? And it is wonderful to be able to fly... I
just wish they didn't appear so suddenly." Kasumi frowned at her taloned
hands. "These aren't quite so attractive. Perhaps I could cover them up with
a pair of gloves?" She clenched her fist several times testingly. "They do
appear quite formidable. Perhaps with a bit of training I could assist the
others when they have to fight...." She sighed. "What am I thinking? I'm no
fighter. Johnathon would never let me go into danger anyway." The winged
{girlstarted : girl started} to slowly pace along the rooftop, her feet making distinct
tapping sounds against the gravel as she went. After a minute or so she
headed over to the rooftop doorway, wondering how long it would take for
Mamoru Chiba to make it all the way to the roof. 

Kasumi sighed in relief and stepped forward to take the kettle and overalls.
"Thank you so much, Mamoru-san. I was afraid I'd be stuck up here until
{afterdark : after dark}." The dark haired man politely turned his back as Kasumi poured
{thehot : the hot} water over her head and got dressed. When she had finished, she
{walkedup : walked up} behind the taller man and put her hand on his shoulder.
"Mamoru-san,where are the others? Is everyone out looking for me?" 

Mamoru Chiba turned to face her and nodded. "Just about everyone came out to
help look. I contacted them on the way up here, so everyone should be
{meetingus : meeting us} here in a few minutes. Come on, let's go meet them downstairs."
{Thetwo : The two} of them started down the stairs. Kasumi was thankful not to meet
anyone on the way down, although on the bottom floor a gray haired older man
poked his head out of the manager's office {: as they} came near. 

The half cat stopped in his tracks, blinking, then reached around to pull
{hissmall : his small} pack off his back. "Oh right." Rummaging through the backpack, he
brought out a thermos, unscrewed it and poured it over his head. Human
{again,Johnathon : again, Johnathon} Tendo stepped out of the shadows to go straight to his
{wife'sside : wife's side}. Kasumi, looking uncharacteristically guilty, couldn't look him
{inthe : in the} eyes. Johnathon put his hand on her bare shoulder comfortingly.
"Hey...." 

Akane hesitated. "Well, we were with Rei... she wanted to change back to
normal first, but she should be here any moment now. I think we were the
closest group." She glanced at Johnathon and Kasumi in concern. "What's
{wrongwith : wrong with} Kasumi?" 

Akane blushed, glancing at Kasumi again. "Oh. Poor Kasumi. She must have
{feltterrible : felt terrible}." 

Kasumi sighed, then softly smiled. "You're right. The only person who's
opinion should matter to me is you, {husband : Husband}. I promise I will never make you
ashamed of me." 

Johnathon ruffled her hair affectionately. "I don't think that's even
possible, {love : Love}." He nodded past Kasumi's shoulder. "It looks like the others
have all arrived. Let's go join them." While the two of them had been
talking, Ranma, Ryoga, Artemis, Luna, and the rest of the Senshi, save Usagi
had joined Akane and Mamoru in the shadows of a nearby building, leaving
Johnathon and Kasumi to themselves. When they finally joined the others,
Akane, Minako, Makoto and Rei gathered around Kasumi to comfort her, while
Setsuna approached Johnathon. 

"I'm glad to see that Kasumi is alright." Johnathon nodded with a smile and
took the eldest Senshi's left hand in his right, squeezing it strongly
{beforeletting : before letting} it go. "Thanks for the help. Now we have to help Ami. We'll
{alldo : all do} everything we can to help." 

Setsuna's cheeks might have been just a shade pinker, but her expression was
as unflappable as ever as she nodded. "And your assistance is appreciated,
{ofcourse : of course}." 

Everyone else started after the runners, although at a much slower pace.
Johnathon rejoined his wife and walked along with her, Makoto, Akane and
{Rei,who : Rei, who} were still doing their best to be supportive. 

"We'll deal with these curses together." Johnathon said confidently,
{reachingdown : reaching down} to hold his wife's hand. "As a family. Things will work out,
you'll see." 

Ukyo, a bit more insightful, put a hand on Makoto's shoulder. "We'll find
{Amisafe : Ami safe} and sound. I'm sure of it. I just know the goddesses will help." 

Ranma shrugged, {desiding : deciding} not to say anything about it to her. "They're
{comingalong : coming along} OK. It hasn't been that long since we started training them
anyway." 

It wasn't too long before the others started arriving, first Haruka,
{followedclosely : followed closely} by Michiru, then Minako and a few minutes later everyone
{elsein : else in} a group. It wasn't until they were all going inside that the
{goddessesfinally : goddesses finally} arrived, the large mirror in the living room lighting up
first, and Belldandy stepping out, pulling her younger sister Skuld through
by the hand. 

"Hello everyone!" Belldandy said, smiling brightly. "It's nice to see you
{allagain : all again}." She blinked slightly. "Oh my. Are you all here waiting for me?" 

Belldandy smiled. "That's a good idea, Skuld. Why don't you go home and
{beginthe : begin the} search, while I go to the zoo." Skuld nodded seriously and ran off
toward the bathroom. Moments later there was a flash of light as the younger
goddess left the building. Minako cleared her throat, stepping forward, then
hesitated, obviously uncertain. The goddess of the present still noticed the
sound and turned to face her. "Ah, Minako. I'm sorry, I did come here for
you, after all. It shouldn't take too long to complete the spell you asked
for." 

Belldandy blinked. "Are you sure? I'm positive that there is no danger. I
{wasmost : was most} careful in my preparations." 

Minako shook her head. "Oh no, I trust you... but won't this spell take a
{lotof : lot of} energy? We can't take any chances with that demoness on the loose. You
can wait until after this is all over to do it...." 

Minako would have continued to protest, but Artemis took her by the arm
firmly. "Mina, go ahead and let Belldandy do the spell. You or Akane could
get splashed at some critical time when we need you, and we can't afford
{thatkind : that kind} of weakness right now." 

Belldandy nodded and held up her hands, spreading her palms wide. "Now we'll
need a little room, so everyone please stand back." The crowd in the living
room gave way automatically, everyone moving back to give Belldandy and
Minako plenty of space. The goddess of the present raised her hands and
{beganto : began to} chant in a melodic voice that was hauntingly familiar, but in a
language no one there recognized. 

"Whoa...." Minako put a hand to her head and held herself upright, finding
herself almost back to normal. "I'm OK..., I'm OK...." She told her friends
as they started gathering around in concern. "Whoa, what a head rush. For a
second there I thought I was dying...." There was a gasp of horror and
{Minakoblinked : Minako blinked}. "Oh no, not in a bad way!" She assured them. 

A quick splash of water later, a long haired Akane with a red ribbon in her
hair stood in their midst, blinking slowly. "I... I know where I am... I
think." She looked at Belldandy questioningly. "Did you just do the spell?"
She shook her head. "Wait, you just said you need to repeat it on me...."
{Shetook : She took} a deep breath, then clenched her fists tightly as she visibly
prepared herself. "I think I'm ready. Go ahead." 

Belldandy nodded. "Alright. Now the first spell was to send Minako's
{memoriesto : memories to} you. This one will be to send your memories to her, OK?" 

Belldandy raised her hands again and waited a moment to make sure that
everyone was standing back, then began the spell once again. Akane rose into
the air with a gasp, her eyes rolling back in her head as her brain seemed
{tocatch : to catch} on fire. The spell ended and the cursed girl fell to the floor with
{agasp : a gasp}, collapsing in a heap. Ranma practically teleported to her side in
concern, Ranko, Belldandy and Rei just a step behind in going to her. 

Akane waved her off, shaking her head. "I'm fine. I'm feeling better
already{,see :}?" Akane made a muscle with her right arm and smiled. "Good as
new, see?" 

Crossfeed from Minako?

Akane blinked, then laughed nervously. "Oh, right. Well my head's OK too. No
problem{: .}"{

:} Belldandy looked at her closely, scanning the cursed girl with
senses far beyond those of a normal human.{ 

:  }After several moments the goddess nodded, looking satisfied. "Good, there
{doesn't appear : don't seem} to be any adverse side effects. The spell appears to have
worked properly." 

I notice you've split the chapter.  This is a good point to do that.
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