Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Mon, 4 Nov 2002 12:19:42 -0500 DB Sommer <sommer@3rdm.net> wrote:
[Writer's note: I ordinarily don't like to do this, but I don't believe this
chapter is quite as good as the one before, but it accomplishes what I want
and need to do. Hopefully you'll enjoy it anyway.]
I certainly enjoyed it. It shows Kachiko's kinder, gentler side. Sort of.
But Kasumi was eager to have a child for her mother to look after, and they
seemed the last reasonable hope. Otherwise she would have to rent one from
an orphanage or something.
I still think she should have tried Babys 'R Us first.
Kasumi held up the basket with her goods. "I'm your neighbor, Kasumi Tendou.
I've brought you some cookies and wanted to {welcomed : welcome} you to the
neighborhood."
Kasumi looked at her mother, aghast. "That's terrible. What sort of person
would allow a child to cut themselves to... prove..." The outrage (or what
qualified for such in Kasumi's eyes. Most people would merely have called it
mild disapproval) quickly passed as she remembered...
Lovely flashback.
"Oh," Kasumi said as she absently rubbed the finger that had been cut so
long ago. It was odd how she didn't remember her mother being quite so
direct in her teaching methods. She seemed much more... angelic, at least
before.
That's the one that's a joint shorter than the others, right?
"Experience is always the best teacher," Kachiko informed her as she stuck a
finger in the casserole, then pulled it back yelling, "Hot, hot!" She began
sucking on the burnt digit. "What's the kid doing here anyway?" she asked
through a mouthful of finger.
An excellent example that proves her point.
Kasumi turned from her memories of a young Nabiki, and later Akane, cutting
themselves and her mother giving them the exact same lecture. "Oh, that's
Tetsuo. I'm baby-sitting him." Kasumi felt increasingly bad about misleading
her mother this way, but it was for the best for everyone, including
Kachiko.
It's amazing that Akane has any fingers.
"Already got the little brat bundled up for your trip," Kachiko said as she
held Tetsuo out for Kasumi.
I have this vision of a ball of rope with a single strand of hair sticking
out. From the bottom.
"You'll be dead by dawn."
I probably don't want to know where he get the apostrophe.
Kachiko just shook her head resignedly. "I see someone has hit their
terrible twos a bit early, and I get stuck watching them. Great. Just !#$%
great." She made as though to sit down and eat.
Not much gets past her.
"The only thing you shall be bound to is torment, misery, and hopelessness."
"And I told you I am not marrying Soun!"
Interesting how she ties all that to marrying Soun. He's not much of a
singer either.
The child blinked at her in surprise. "You stupid mortal! I am not
describing marriage! I am a demon inhabiting this child's body that's going
to kill you in the most painful way imaginable and then devour your soul for
a {millennia : millennium}."
A stick with a blackened marshmallow stuck on the end was thrust over his
shoulder and held out in front of him. "Want one?"
I'm glad she's taking this seriously.
He shot Kachiko an evil glare. "I see. You are more stupid than I originally
thought and did not understand me. I am possessing this *innocent* child. If
you hit me, you will harm him even more{s :}-Hey!!" he barely evaded a second
blow. "What are you, crazy? I'm dead serious about me only possessing the
body. It really belongs to the child."
Using all of his skills, he darted to the left barely {missing : dodging} the blow. It
was so close he felt the wind from the kick blow his hair back. The
closeness of the blow made the demon begin to sweat. "You can't destroy this
innocent child. Your soul will go straight to Hell if you do."
She slapped her thighs. "I can crack coconuts with these babies. Did that
once in front of the student body. Had a hard time getting a date for a
while after that, for some odd reason," she added.
Maybe it was the boy's uniform she was wearing at the time.
The demon was concerned for a moment, but then his diabolic senses informed
him of a great evil located nearby. Using his unholy powers, Shumy-Chan sent
tendrils of ebon energy from his eyes to seek out the power. The dark
tentacles reached down into the soil under the back porch. From the ground
came a rumbling sound, and a laugh evil enough to rival that of Shumy-Chan
filled the air. The back porch detonated in an explosion of wood and earth,
temporarily concealing everything view. Mere seconds after the explosion
someone emerged from the cloud of dust. It was a man obviously of Eastern
European decent. He was tall, gaunt, {: and} pale in complexion{, :} save for blood red
lips and eyes. However, his most outstanding features were the fangs in his
mouth, evident as he breathed in the crisp spring air. The clothing he wore
was a tuxedo -an Armani- if Shumy-Chan wasn't mistaken, so impeccable he
would have sworn it had been freshly pressed, save for one mark: a hole in
the jacket right where his heart would be.
Kasumi was pleased. It was rare she had a night to herself, and {: she} had enjoyed
it tremendously. Having nothing better to do, she decided to go to the
movies. It was a bit lonely to go alone, but the film had been an
entertaining one which more than made up for the lack of companionship. She
had heard it received critical acclaim, and with good reviews, felt certain
it would be worth the price of admission. It turned out to be one of those
pictures aimed at younger people, centering on a class of high school
students. Battle Royal had brought back memories of the not so distant past
of Kasumi's own school days. Of course, she hadn't been forced to go to an
island and kill all of her classmates, but she was pretty certain had she
been placed in such a situation, she could have finished everyone off and
won. There were dozens of ways to dispatch her classmates with any one of
the weapons that had been provided in the movie. Some very inventive ways,
actually. Some of them lingering and painful.
"Of course. Her motherly nature is there, just waiting to bubble to the{
:} surface. Left with a helpless child who has no choice but to depend on her,
Mother's parental instincts will surge to the fore, and she will be one step
closer to returning to the woman she needs to be." There wasn't the
slightest hint of doubt in Kasumi's voice.
Kasumi sighed at the giggling child in Nodoka's arms. It appeared some other
plan would be needed. Perhaps if her father successfully wooed Kachiko, that
would serve as the trigger to awaken her true identity...
He still can't sing.
"Well, not yet, kind of," Ranma pointed out, though he was uncertain if he
was right. Time traveling made explaining things a real pain. He did know
Kachiko didn't consider herself to be their mother, and seemed to get more
irritated when the people around her tried to make her admit that. He could
definitely sympathize with her in that regard. People tried to get him to
admit to things he didn't want to all the time. Like Akane was doing right
now.
Ranma and Nabiki seem to be the only ones who really understand Kachiko's
situation.
By the time Ranma returned, {via over : over : via} the wall around the back yard rather
than through the front door, it was late. He was being cautious so he could
feel things out in the household, just in case Akane was still angry with
him. With any luck, everyone would already be asleep, and he could deal with
matters tomorrow after a full night of rest.
"Isn't having a name like Kachiko going to be a bit hard on him?" Ranma
asked.
"It's better than being called Shuma-Ghorath-Chan."
That name probably has plenty of bad memories for them too.
Ranma was astonished to see that Kachiko now seemed happy when talking about
children. It was like she was a completely different person.
Kasumi's plan did work, a little. It could help set up Kachiko being
willing to have children if she returns to the past.
Shuma-Gorath was a name created {my : by} Marvel in the Lovecraftian vein. Most
people are probably aware of him from the Marvel Capcom game. Part of
Shumy's dialogue was inspired from one of the Hellraiser movies.
Special thanks to
Michael {Chasse : Chase}
Chris Horton
Eternal Lost Lurker
The Apprentice
Max M.