so I left them alone and went into the living room where Karen was. She

was

laid out on an arm chair watching Conan O'Brien on the big-screen,

He's still around? Wow. And I thought only Dick Clark would be left by

now.

:)

i keep telling you, this isnt The Future.

away. It

never gets any easier to tell a secret. I wanted to shake her by the

shoulders and

ask if she could possibly think that it was harder for her to bear than

for it was

for me.

Probably not. Unlike Bill, she cannot 'feel your pain.' I was always
impressed with the way he could deal with everyone's pain so easily. It

was

almost like he didn't really care and only said it because it was a good
soundbite which most of the sheep would eat up.

Nah. I gotta learn to be less cynical.

bill hicks? who are you talking about?

 I have to live this god damn wet dream every day which makes me
the

last person who needs to hear about how bizarre it is.

I don't really picture 'wet dreams' as being this bad. 'Nightmare' would

be

better.

yeah, see that was the thing though. The fact that he gets to keep living
over and over again, has super powers a lot of the time, fucks random
chicks, gets to be an action star, its sort of like hes trapped in what
every little boy wants out of life. Its like a wet dream that wont end. I
wondered if that was clear.

While I had no memory of ever watching the process from rebirth and

actually

knowing what was happening, the changes in my body were very familiar.

It

was memory of the muscle rather than that of the conscious thought. I

adapted to

my surroundings not like a chameleon, but like a balloon, taking the

shape

of

whatever forces were present.

Balloons aren't really that sort of malliable. More like water taking the
shape of whatever container it was place in would be a better
metaphor/simile.

well, baloon was a little blunter, seemed to be more stylisticly screw, he
doesnt put as much thought into this stuff as he should. but yes, the
Mencius (and later quoted by bruce lee) water metaphor, i get it.

Age and shape were just reflections on the

surface. The ability to be changed was the ability to survive and live

again.

Something only Rufius and I have ever been able to achieve.

That they know of anyway.

very true (though in some ways not altogether true)

and spat it into my fist, I was not surprised to see a streak of blood.

It

was a little

silicon chip that had been partially dissolved. Obviously the bug that

used to be

in my skull. Jules hadn't lied to me.

Oh yeah. Forgot about that.

Incinerating it without a thought, I took a swig of Listerine

Still have that too, eh?

this is not the future!!!!! Its a strange realm that has yet to be
definied!! God damn it!!!
:)

 which turned
out to

be a mistake. The alcohol burned like mad and I spewed it across the

mirror.

Better stick to cold water. After rinsing and brushing for the first

time

in two

days, I left the bathroom

and a blackened toothbrush behind. :)

 and walked over to the double bed. There were my

racing clothes, folded amateurishly over the head board. I took off the

sport coat

and slacks I had borrowed from Diago and tossed them down the shoot.

chute

good call

The small cluttered guest room reminded me of what Diago had told me

earlier,

and I sat back down on the bed. Reaching under it with my right hand I

felt

around until I touched a smooth box.

I like women who shave there to...

hahahahaha

I looked up quickly and saw Karen standing in the doorway with the light

at her

back. She had changed into slick black pants and a fairly tight sweater

I

immediately liked.

Because I knew I would look hotter in it than her. But that wasn't

important

right now.

hahahahaha

"Not really. I ran with the mob for almost twenty years back before the

turn of

the century.

Which century? :)

AHA!! you have to keep readin wont you!!!

anything because I was always caught up in trying to win the race,

regardless of

what that entailed. And as I continued to die before seeing it to the

end,

I never

really accomplished or created anything beautiful. What was it all for?"

Well, 'And this too, shall pass' includes everything, pretty much. Even

the

beautiful things. I suppose he could do it just for the sake of it lasting

a

while.

well right, i guess he has most of the time, even though his brain has tried
to keep him from reemembering the whole epoch so that he wouldnt need true
reason to fight his way out. lasting awhile to me seems to imply an inherent
connection to it, like it makes you happy just existing. this right here is
what i think screw is losing. i dont know.

"What a hero you are." She

are," she

it

a little and not looking at my face she said, "I'm sure she never went

into great

detail about her past either."

"What have you got against Alie?"

Heh. Where to begin?

yes, i guess its pretty obvious at this point, isnt it?

"For gods sake!" I said, standing up. "Why is everyone turning on her

all

of a

sudden?

Because she's really a bad guy? :)

and because i want screw's big hunk of man meat all for my self...

"Rick, you don't know what you are talking about."

I rolled my eyes. I hate it when people try to tell me that.

Just because I have only part of the information doesn't mean I'm
automatically not right.

exactly!!

true?"

"Because he doesn't want me to go near Rufius either. He's afraid the

blame

will come down on him."

was afraid, maybe. :)

good call

"Death must have seemed a lesser evil than failure. I don't really know

anything

about this Rufius so I can't say beyond that."

Might want to mention her emotional state when she delivers that. It is a
heavy statement that goes against what she just mentioned.

thanks, ill look at it.

"How could he not interfere? He had more lives at stake than you did!"

She

frowned. "And now you're off to jump in the arms of the woman he died to
warn you against.

Nah. I think it went a bit beyond that.

screw or chris?

"Then trust me in this one thing. I have been through too much with that

girl to

give up on her. I love her. I am going to save her."

Heh. Even from herself?

he doesnt know what hes saying

paper.

Cardboard parted easily and Karen and I looked inside. Not what I

expected.

A metal hamster wheel, unused and shiny, with the price tag still

attached. Four

dollars. The tacky message wasn't lost on me even though I wouldn't take

the

advice.

Heh. I think it's cute.

was this too much? i thought it might be too blatant, and like screw said,
tacky.

A textbook will tell you that self-psycho analysis is detrimental

because

it

breaks down the bias' that we need to perpetuate self-serving decision

making.

It depends on how much you care about the analysis.

for a guy like screw, and guys like me, it means far too much

What this says to me is that the past is in fact depressing by nature,

Actually most people romantisize it.

 and
that

finding out too much about anything degrades your feeling for it.

Usually true. Few things can live up to idealizations.

Especially

when it is your own brain that you put to the scalpel, you wind up not

liking

what you find inside. That's just too cynical for me. By that reasoning

love is

something that only happens in moments, and we are all running around
collecting them like Pac Man.

*Sigh* I pity people who don't remember that icon.

yeah, i mean romantisizing is good, but it sort of shows our unwillingness
to look at bare faced reality

 new

positions in life with new futures ahead of you, and every time

regardless

of

performance you have to die and start over again, the satisfaction of
accomplishment loses much of its sweet taste.

I can see that.

But I am not disheartened. The loss of goals meant some degree of

failure

was

lost as well.

True. You lose the  bad with the good.

I don't have to fight and run away because I know for
certain I will

live to fight again. This has many ramifications which have affected

everything I

think and do. To some better degree I can take pleasure in anything

pleasurable

because context is meaningless for me. This is why I know I will

eventually beat

Rufius. His empiricism forces him to depend on things of the flesh where

mine

lets me simply take what and when I want.

Oh yeah. You've been faring real well so far. :)

HAHAHAHA

Winter was going to come down on our city like a ton of bricks, just

like

it did

last year. It made me miss my old apartment's small fire place

fireplace

.. He tossed
me

one of the bottles and drank from his while lighting a cigarette.

He's drinking and lighting a cigarette at the same time? Now that takes
talent

maybe that sentence needs work

"You're the one who should be drinking, not me," he said. "This stuff

will

kill

me."

"The surgeon general's a communist."

He grinned. "They were all out of Phillies so I grabbed some Native

Columbian

papers, known to cause cancer in less than one out of five lab rats.

Which are genetically prone to getting cancer anyway. :)

i didnt know that

"...What trip?"

I spoke lower. "I changed my mind. We're hitting Wells' old house."

"His what?"

"I had forgotten about it. There is still one more merusion chamber left

and it's

in the top floor of Wells' mansion.

Ah. True

sweet! i hoped the reader would have forgotten about this too

 Alethea and I were there together a
while

back. I can get in there, zap myself one last time, and have the effects

kicking in

by the time we hit the Apothecary."

Zig choked while swallowing and spewed a little liquor on the pavement.
"What?!" he said when he could talk. "Fuck the god damn effects! We are

not

going near that place! After what you said you and Chris did there the

last time,

it's gonna be a crime scene for weeks. That means just a half shit-load

of

police

running around if we're lucky."

Maybe not. Cops have been busy, after all

"Not tonight. Every man they have is outside City Hall looking for gang

boys to

whack.

Yep

I pointed at him. "Strange Days?"

He nodded distractedly.

Nice way to end it. Nice build up chapter. I expect one more before things
go kaka.

good call, man.
thanks for the comments. I am rapidly getting to the point where i have no
more of this already written, and i need to get back to it hard core, and
end this mother fucker. Take it easy.


ae
www.geocities.com/aescension

go to:
http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?1145450703


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