Max M wrote:

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"Protect Infinity With Your Life"

I would, but it ran out of time before I could get there.

"Dont take life too seriously!"
       -Paul Oakenfold

Regretably, it tends to take me seriously, and that just ruins everything.

    7

I thanked him for letting us stay at his place and put up with our

problems, but

he waved it off. `Look under your bed,' was all he replied.

Downstairs in the foyer,

Heh. Diago's place is not the type I piture with a foyer. :)

 Zig was negotiating with two of his boys who had

dropped by in a van. The conversation didn't look like it was going to

escalate,

so I left them alone and went into the living room where Karen was. She

was

laid out on an arm chair watching Conan O'Brien on the big-screen,

He's still around? Wow. And I thought only Dick Clark would be left by now.
:)

away. It

never gets any easier to tell a secret. I wanted to shake her by the

shoulders and

ask if she could possibly think that it was harder for her to bear than

for it was

for me.

Probably not. Unlike Bill, she cannot 'feel your pain.' I was always
impressed with the way he could deal with everyone's pain so easily. It was
almost like he didn't really care and only said it because it was a good
soundbite which most of the sheep would eat up.

Nah. I gotta learn to be less cynical.

 I have to live this god damn wet dream every day which makes me
the

last person who needs to hear about how bizarre it is.

I don't really picture 'wet dreams' as being this bad. 'Nightmare' would be
better.

While I had no memory of ever watching the process from rebirth and

actually

knowing what was happening, the changes in my body were very familiar. It
was memory of the muscle rather than that of the conscious thought. I

adapted to

my surroundings not like a chameleon, but like a balloon, taking the shape

of

whatever forces were present.

Balloons aren't really that sort of malliable. More like water taking the
shape of whatever container it was place in would be a better
metaphor/simile.

Age and shape were just reflections on the

surface. The ability to be changed was the ability to survive and live

again.

Something only Rufius and I have ever been able to achieve.

That they know of anyway.

and spat it into my fist, I was not surprised to see a streak of blood. It

was a little

silicon chip that had been partially dissolved. Obviously the bug that

used to be

in my skull. Jules hadn't lied to me.

Oh yeah. Forgot about that.

Incinerating it without a thought, I took a swig of Listerine

Still have that too, eh?

 which turned
out to

be a mistake. The alcohol burned like mad and I spewed it across the

mirror.

Better stick to cold water. After rinsing and brushing for the first time

in two

days, I left the bathroom

and a blackened toothbrush behind. :)

 and walked over to the double bed. There were my

racing clothes, folded amateurishly over the head board. I took off the

sport coat

and slacks I had borrowed from Diago and tossed them down the shoot.

chute

The small cluttered guest room reminded me of what Diago had told me

earlier,

and I sat back down on the bed. Reaching under it with my right hand I

felt

around until I touched a smooth box.

I like women who shave there to...

Oops. Wrong box. Never mind.

Obviously I've been reading why too much hentai.

I looked up quickly and saw Karen standing in the doorway with the light

at her

back. She had changed into slick black pants and a fairly tight sweater I
immediately liked.

Because I knew I would look hotter in it than her. But that wasn't important
right now.

"Not really. I ran with the mob for almost twenty years back before the

turn of

the century.

Which century? :)

"What is it, revenge again?"

"No. Rufius reincarnates just like me. Even if I desperately wanted to

kill him,

he would just grow back somewhere else. Fighting is pointless. For a long

time

after I was Das we left each other alone and pursued our own goals. But as

I said

before, I started working for him about eight years ago and I can't

remember

why. That was the last time he ever caught me."

Well, that was the last time period. :)

I laughed a little before I thought better of it and said, "No, that was

my gangsta

buddy trying to stop Rufius himself. Or at least take out his offices in

the city.

No one handles tall buildings quite like Chris."

Heh

"Depends on the friend. I've had more than a few who ended up turning it
around on me. Hell, Diago is probably the only one I've known in the last
twenty years who never sold me out for his own gain."

"And that's why you solve all your problems with violence; because you're
afraid everyone is going to turn on you first.

Actually most of them do try to kill him before he goes for them.

anything because I was always caught up in trying to win the race,

regardless of

what that entailed. And as I continued to die before seeing it to the end,

I never

really accomplished or created anything beautiful. What was it all for?"

Well, 'And this too, shall pass' includes everything, pretty much. Even the
beautiful things. I suppose he could do it just for the sake of it lasting a
while.

"What a hero you are." She

are," she

it

a little and not looking at my face she said, "I'm sure she never went

into great

detail about her past either."

"What have you got against Alie?"

Heh. Where to begin?

"For gods sake!" I said, standing up. "Why is everyone turning on her all

of a

sudden?

Because she's really a bad guy? :)

 I was with her every day, weeks before she ended up with Rufius
and I

swear to god a more perfect soul has never been born in this city! Is it

so hard to

believe that maybe she cares more about me than her freak-show home life?"

need a line break there.

"Rick, you don't know what you are talking about."

I rolled my eyes. I hate it when people try to tell me that.

Just because I have only part of the information doesn't mean I'm
automatically not right.

true?"

"Because he doesn't want me to go near Rufius either. He's afraid the

blame

will come down on him."

was afraid, maybe. :)

"Death must have seemed a lesser evil than failure. I don't really know

anything

about this Rufius so I can't say beyond that."

Might want to mention her emotional state when she delivers that. It is a
heavy statement that goes against what she just mentioned.

"How could he not interfere? He had more lives at stake than you did!" She
frowned. "And now you're off to jump in the arms of the woman he died to
warn you against.

Nah. I think it went a bit beyond that.

"Then trust me in this one thing. I have been through too much with that

girl to

give up on her. I love her. I am going to save her."

Heh. Even from herself?

paper.

Cardboard parted easily and Karen and I looked inside. Not what I

expected.

A metal hamster wheel, unused and shiny, with the price tag still

attached. Four

dollars. The tacky message wasn't lost on me even though I wouldn't take

the

advice.

Heh. I think it's cute.

A textbook will tell you that self-psycho analysis is detrimental because

it

breaks down the bias' that we need to perpetuate self-serving decision

making.

It depends on how much you care about the analysis.

What this says to me is that the past is in fact depressing by nature,

Actually most people romantisize it.

 and
that

finding out too much about anything degrades your feeling for it.

Usually true. Few things can live up to idealizations.

Especially

when it is your own brain that you put to the scalpel, you wind up not

liking

what you find inside. That's just too cynical for me. By that reasoning

love is

something that only happens in moments, and we are all running around
collecting them like Pac Man.

*Sigh* I pity people who don't remember that icon.

 new

positions in life with new futures ahead of you, and every time regardless

of

performance you have to die and start over again, the satisfaction of
accomplishment loses much of its sweet taste.

I can see that.

But I am not disheartened. The loss of goals meant some degree of failure

was

lost as well.

True. You lose the  bad with the good.

I don't have to fight and run away because I know for
certain I will

live to fight again. This has many ramifications which have affected

everything I

think and do. To some better degree I can take pleasure in anything

pleasurable

because context is meaningless for me. This is why I know I will

eventually beat

Rufius. His empiricism forces him to depend on things of the flesh where

mine

lets me simply take what and when I want.

Oh yeah. You've been faring real well so far. :)

Winter was going to come down on our city like a ton of bricks, just like

it did

last year. It made me miss my old apartment's small fire place

fireplace

.. He tossed
me

one of the bottles and drank from his while lighting a cigarette.

He's drinking and lighting a cigarette at the same time? Now that takes
talent

"You're the one who should be drinking, not me," he said. "This stuff will

kill

me."

"The surgeon general's a communist."

He grinned. "They were all out of Phillies so I grabbed some Native

Columbian

papers, known to cause cancer in less than one out of five lab rats.

Which are genetically prone to getting cancer anyway. :)

"...What trip?"

I spoke lower. "I changed my mind. We're hitting Wells' old house."

"His what?"

"I had forgotten about it. There is still one more merusion chamber left

and it's

in the top floor of Wells' mansion.

Ah. True

 Alethea and I were there together a
while

back. I can get in there, zap myself one last time, and have the effects

kicking in

by the time we hit the Apothecary."

Zig choked while swallowing and spewed a little liquor on the pavement.
"What?!" he said when he could talk. "Fuck the god damn effects! We are

not

going near that place! After what you said you and Chris did there the

last time,

it's gonna be a crime scene for weeks. That means just a half shit-load of

police

running around if we're lucky."

Maybe not. Cops have been busy, after all

"Not tonight. Every man they have is outside City Hall looking for gang

boys to

whack.

Yep

I pointed at him. "Strange Days?"

He nodded distractedly.

Nice way to end it. Nice build up chapter. I expect one more before things
go kaka.

D.B. Sommer





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