Good deal -- let's see some more of these!

        "They are alien, not native to our Earth, beings whose precise
origins are irrelevant.  They possess vast power, and do not think like 
we do.  But the cosmic powers which they tap ebb and flow over time, so 
they fell into slumber when those cycles turned against them, and they 
were stranded here. Now they are awakening, and if they are not 
destroyed, they will crush us the way we crush annoying ants.  Some 
foolish men have called them gods, but they are simply very powerful 
mortals.  They can bleed.  And they can die.  And humanity will never be 
free until they are.

That should read: And they can die. And humanity will never be free until 
they do.

As it stands it sounds as if we won't be free until they're free as well, 
which is probably not what Gendo has in mind.

        Gendo stared after him, smiling a little.  Good luck, son, he
thought.  Your mother would be proud of you if she could see you now.

Of her thousand young, you were always her favorite ;)

        "HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!  I'D MARRY AN ANGEL FIRST!" Asuka 
shouted in Japanese.

MAD PRIEST: ... until death do you part?

ASUKA:      Ia, Ia Cthulhu Ftagn.

MAD PRIEST: Then I hereby declare you Thing and wife. You may devour the 
            bride.

        She idly wondered if Bratwurst was as good as Asuka it was.

as good as Asuka said [claimed] it was.

        She had begun to wonder exactly what Bratwurst was when she felt
it, a chilling disturbance in the air, the sense of another presence.

Although I grinned at the idea of Hikari feeling bratwurst late at night, 
you might want to drop the 'it' and have it read: she felt a chilling 
disturbance in the air

        "How do you apologize for raping someone?"

Hallmark has a card for EVERYTHING.

        "Some movies worth watching," Asuka replied.

ANNA:  But I _liked_ "Night of the Lepus."

ASUKA: Yeah, but it's too much like work.

        "I wanted to see how long it would take anyone to notice if we 
ran it up one of the flagpoles," Asuka said, laughing.  "A month.  They 
didn't even NOTICE."

        "After a while, you don't even notice.  You could probably steal
the Germany flag and no one would notice."

Too much notice! Needs to be rephrased. Also that's the German flag. It's 
on the pole right next to the flag from Canadia.

        "Now, now, just everyone relax.  Save your hate for the damnable
foreigners who have tainted our country," the front-seat passenger said.
"Just a few more minutes, and this facility will be OURS."

Man, there's nothing more annoying than militant racist Neanderthals.

        One of the blondes said something in German as he approached the
bed.  She wondered idly what he was demanding.  He poked the sheets with

This could be confusing, as men are blond, and women are blonde. Maybe 
"One of the men" instead? Elsewhere you've just got it wrong.

the monsters NERV fought.  Part of her wanted to burn them no matter 
what they did, to watch the flesh melt from their bones and listen to 
them scream as they died.  But she held that instinct back.  They were 
men, if

Asuka's been watching "Raiders of the Lost Ark," I see.

        "If we fail, at least we will have done what we could to prevent
our world becoming like so many others. 

Filled with outlet malls and Wal-Marts.




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