I haven't been giving detailed C&C on this recently, since I generally lack the time and so many others have made a habit of doing so. However, I thought I might want to address one point, since it's been flagged twice now.
--- Gary Kleppe <gary@garykleppe.org> wrote:
As before, I've omitted a lot of explanations that were given in
previous C&C, thereby making room for more quips. :)
Allyn Yonge <allynyonge0000@netscape.net> wrote:
If it had been for Ranma . . .with only a slight hesitation
?? Did you mean 'If it hadn't been'?
I saw no problem with that line. I interpreted it as:
If /the package/ had been for Ranma, Kasumi would have delivered it.
Oh, Allyn, as long as I'm writing to you . . . . If you're going to put the spaces in ellipses--which is the technically correct way to do it, though it can lead to unfortunate line wraps in plain text documents--please put /all/ the spaces in. There should also be a space between the last dot and the next word. A global search and replace should easily fix that particular problem.
Another common ellipsis mistake--one I'm not certain whether you make--is failing to use four dots when ending a sentance with an ellipsis.
Also, it is generally best not to use ellipses in narrative, though it works in this case since you appear to be relating Kasumi's thoughts.
Defender of the Light
Elite Mage
junior member of the Inner Circle of the Mages Council
Contrary to popular opinion, magic and science do mix.
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